100 Best Hilarious Stories for Kids

The college entrance examination made me laugh out loud (many people fainted with laughter). The college entrance examination is over, and after the college entrance examination is the high school entrance examination... The test questions are all kinds of weird, and the answer sheets are also diverse. I really admire today’s students. They think outside the box and are wild and unconstrained. They are so different from the rules-based students we used to have back then, haha. Look at the fill-in-the-blank questions in a set of Chinese language test papers - 1. ___, the student who was so haggard for Yixiao answered: You will never regret it if you take off your clothes and belts (the correct interpretation is "the clothes and belts will get wider and you will never regret it", I admit that this is a ideological problem) 2. Asked where the canal is so clear, ____ classmate answered: There is a clear spring in the heart (the correct interpretation is "only the source of living water comes", we are still a little bit attached to the water~~~) 3. Why should *** cut the west Window candle, ____ Student answer: The couple sat together until dawn (the Chinese teacher fainted with laughter while marking the papers. Later, when he mentioned this in class, he fainted again! The correct interpretation is "but when it rains at night in Bashan") 4. The earthworm shakes the big tree, ____ Classmate’s answer: Not moving at all (the correct interpretation is “ridiculous and overconfident”. Not moving at all, impressive, very consistent with the facts) 5. The beauty of a gentleman as an adult, ____ Classmate’s answer: A villain steals the love of others (stunned to death directly) 6 .If you are poor, you will live alone. ____ Classmate’s answer: If you are rich, you will have wives and concubines (correct answer: If you are rich, you will help the world) 7.___, who in the world does not recognize you? Classmate’s answer: Only those who look like Saddam (Khan|||.... ) 8. There are three thousand beauties in the harem, ____ classmate answered: An iron rod can also be ground into a needle~~~ (I guess it is not as simple as grinding into a needle) (The correct interpretation is "three thousand pampers in one body") 9. The body is colorless A phoenix flies with wings, ___ A classmate answered: A plucked phoenix is ??not as good as a chicken. Another classmate answered: The husband and wife returned home together (the correct interpretation is "the hearts are in harmony") 10. The sun rises in the east and rains in the west, ___ a classmate answered: Fighting at the end of the bed and close at the end of the bed Another classmate answered: Get on the wrong sedan chair and marry the right man 11. __. The wife of a poor man will not go to bed. The classmate answered: The husband of a married woman will not go to bed. (The Chinese teacher was furious!) 12. I wish you a long life, ____ The classmate answered: A heart will last forever. Rumor has it (laughed wildly at the time, but now I think it’s quite classic.

The correct answer is "Thousands of miles away *** Chan Juan") 13. Egrets fly in front of Xisai Mountain, ___ classmate answers: Turtle crawls by the river in Dongcun (right, very neat) 14. I advise God to cheer up, ____ classmate answers: God is right I roar three roars (the correct interpretation is "reducing talents without sticking to one pattern", Gong Zizhen) 15. I am born with talents that must be useful, ____ A classmate answered: Show your magical powers at critical moments. Another classmate answered: The son of a mouse can dig holes (the Chinese teachers in the entire office collectively Laughing wildly without any image) 16. If the sky is sentimental, the sky will also grow old, ___ The classmate answered: If you are not romantic, your youth will be wasted! (The correct interpretation is "If there is no hatred for the moon, the moon will be full" Li He's "The Golden Bronze Immortal's Song of Han Dynasty") (Another sentence is "The right path in the world is the vicissitudes of life") 17. When relatives and friends in Luoyang ask each other, ____ classmate answers: Please don't tell He (the correct interpretation is "a piece of ice heart in a jade pot") 18. The couplet came out in the final exam. The first couplet is the hero's sword. The third grade student's second couplet is: My mother is rich and charming. 19. Good medicine is bitter in taste and good for the disease. ___ The student answered: No Eating is the biggest fool. No one has died since ancient times. ___ Classmate’s answer: It’s just that people die in sequence (ending: the teacher left him to lecture the birds after the parent-teacher meeting…) 20. There is a bright moonlight in front of the bed, ___ Classmate’s answer: Li Bai slept soundly 21 . A leopard can be seen in the tube, ___ classmate answered: It scared me (hahaha! The correct meaning is "can be seen") 22. ___, flew into the homes of ordinary people, classmate answered: Konka Caiba TV 23. Grape wine luminous cup, ___ classmate answered: Lots of Money and Beauties 24. ____, the passerby on the road is a masterpiece of a first-year junior high school student: a ghost knocks on the door in the middle of the night 25. There was another test on Tao Yuanming's "I can't bend my waist for five buckets of rice", and the classmate filled in "Give me six buckets of rice" That’s it”… 26. My wife is my wife and my wife is my wife, ___ The classmate answered: My wife is my wife and my wife is my wife (the teacher later said that the student had a special spirit of dedication when marking the paper, haha) 27. Thinking back to those days when we were always fighting with each other, ___ The student’s answer: Look at the current situation, they are stalking each other (the correct interpretation is “to swallow thousands of miles like a tiger”) 28. In the fifth grade, I got “Three Stooges, ___” in one exam. The student’s answer: The smell is the same (compare the invigilator and the outside The principal burst out laughing) 29. A student in the first grade of junior high school said to the couple, "Go to the city and take in the beauty of the mountains into your arms among the white clouds, ___" The classmate replied: I went to the hotel to hug the lady to bed (his Chinese teacher almost vomited blood and died on the spot) 30 .If two people are in love for a long time, __ classmate answers: It is time for two people to get married. 31. Thousands of sails pass by the side of the sinking boat. ___ classmate answers: Peacocks spread their tails in many ways. 32. When books are used, there will be less regrets. ____ classmate answers: Money arrives. There are not enough flowers at the end of the month. 33. If the sky is sentimental, the sky will also grow old. ____ Student answer: If a person is sentimental, he will die early (the correct interpretation is "If the moon has no regrets, the moon will be round") 34. Since ancient times, no one has died, ___ Student answer: Is there anyone who does not have a bowel movement? Bring paper (no more words...) 35. Once I was tested on Li Qingzhao’s Ru Meng Ling, "Do you know? Do you know? ___" The student answered: SORRY I, DONT KNOW... (The correct answer is "It should be green, fat, red and thin" ") 36. Once I was tested on a certain sentence of Mr. Lu Xun: "___, I splashed Xuanyuan with my blood." The classmate replied: He stabbed me with his knife. 37. In the Chinese language exam, there was a revolutionary poem in the fill-in-the-blank section: "The door for people to enter and exit is tight." Locked, __, a voice shouted: __I long for freedom, but how can a human body crawl out of a dog’s hole..." Student’s answer: The hole that a dog crawled out of is also locked/ Damn, it’s all locked On! 38. Love is always present in thousands of mountains and rivers. Student __ answered: Is it okay to give one more share? (The marking teacher answered: Love is love, and points are points. It is not okay to give one more portion.) 39. When I was a freshman in high school , a monthly exam, the last sentence was "Looking up to the sky and laughing and going out, (correct answer) How can I be a Penghao person?" Someone in the class wrote: I accidentally twisted my waist. There is another sentence, the previous sentence: "Clear water produces hibiscus, (correct answer) nature removes the carvings." Some people wrote, Lotus roots emerge from the mud; others even more brilliantly wrote: Heroes emerge from troubled times. 40. I asked you how much sadness you can have, ___ The classmate answered: Just like a pot of Erguotou (the teacher commented, "You drank too much again...") ★☆ 2008-08-23 14:29 You have already rated! Good:5 You have already rated it! Bad :0 That’s all: My son sleeps with his mother every night. Mom said: When you grew up and married a daughter-in-law, did you sleep with Mom? The son replied: Yes. Mom said: What should you do with your wife? The son said: Let her sleep with her father.

After hearing this, my father said excitedly: This child has been sensible since he was a child. One brother has been suffering from constipation and has been unable to defecate in the toilet for a long time. When he was trying his best, he saw a brother rushing into the toilet like a wind and entering the seat next to him. When I entered, there was a really violent storm. The brother said to the brother enviously: Brother, I envy you so much. The brother said: Why are you envious? I haven’t taken off my pants yet~~ Once I was playing mahjong on a hot day, and the power suddenly went out. I had no choice but to buy a candle and continue fighting. After half an hour, the heat was unbearable. One person said: "Let's turn on the electric fan, it's too hot." Another person said: "Don't turn it on. Turning it on will blow out the candle." An American, a Japanese, and a Chinese were exploring in the jungle, and they were all captured by the cannibal tribe. But the tribal chief said: "I am in a good mood today, so I won't eat you, but you will all suffer a hundred blows." But before you get stuck, you can have one wish come true. "The American was the one who got hit first." He said, "Before I get hit, put a cushion on my butt." "After the mat, the boards fell like raindrops. At first, 70 boards were okay, but after 70 boards, the seat cushions were smashed, and then the boards were bloody... After the beating, the Americans left feeling their buttocks. After seeing this, the Japanese asked for 10 A mattress. After 1, 2, 3...100, the Japanese stood up, patted their butts, and said it was fine; then they boasted about their ability to imitate and recreate, and wanted to sit back and watch the Chinese. What a show. The Chinese slowly lay down and said leisurely: "Come on, put the Japanese on my back." "... A brother went to the restroom and entered the women's restroom by mistake. After entering, he found that there was no urinal. It felt wrong. Fortunately, there was no one in the women's restroom. He walked out as if nothing had happened. When he was opening the door, he met a girl who came in. That mm When I met him, I blushed, lowered my head, turned around and went to the men's room. One day, there were too many people on the bus. It was very hot and stuffy. I don't know who farted. Now the environment was even worse. It got worse. My friend couldn't bear it, and he didn't know who it was, so he had no choice. Just then, the conductor was asking: "Who didn't buy a ticket?" "My friend suddenly had an idea and said loudly: "The one who farted didn't buy a ticket! "Suddenly, a very fat woman held the ticket high in her hand and said loudly: "I have already bought the ticket! "A sculpture was built in a new building of a university: a girl holding a book in her left hand and a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. The school publicly solicited names from students outside the school. As a result, many people had the same slogan - Reading Top It’s just a waste! The situation of losing bicycles in school is very serious. New cars disappear in the blink of an eye, but sometimes if you are lucky, the lost bicycle will appear again every few days. One day, Xiao Jing, who is in the same dormitory, bought a new transmission car. He would show off to everyone he met and say, “I have the latest lock on this car! "The next day, Xiaojing returned from her evening self-study with a depressed look. She also held a piece of paper in her hand, which said: Don't think there are no experts here. I borrowed the car and will return it to you in a few days. ! A few days later, the thief actually returned the car. Xiaojing was very happy, but she was worried that the car would be "borrowed" again, so she bought ten large locks and locked the car tightly. , and also posted a note to the thief: It depends on how you "borrow" it! When Xiaojing went downstairs the next morning, she found that there were five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: It depends on how you still ride it. ! There were three little tadpoles. They went to a restaurant to eat... After waiting for a while, the first dish was served... fried frogs... The three little tadpoles sang in unison: I don't want to, I don't want to, don't want to grow up... . One day, Cao Cao captured Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei. Cao Cao said to the three of them, each of you go to the orchard and choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei brought out an apple. Cao Cao said, if they can. He stuffed the fruit he brought into his butt and let them go. Zhang Fei tried for a while, but failed, so he was killed. After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes, and Cao Cao also told him. With the same words, Guan Yu began to stuff the grapes... When he stuffed the third grape, Guan Yu suddenly burst into laughter. As a result, he smashed the grapes and was killed again. After going to the underworld, the King of Hell asked Guan Yu: "You are so stupid, why are you laughing?" Woolen cloth? If you don't laugh, you won't die." Guan Yu sighed and said, "I don't want to either! God is jealous of beauty! When I stuffed the third one, I suddenly saw Brother Liu walking out with a durian in his arms..." I went to eat at KFC yesterday, and the people in line behind me looked like a couple. I saw them ordering a lot of food. Then she sat next to me. After sitting down, the girl started eating as if she had been hungry for several days, while the boy was nibbling the fries one by one, as if he was worried about something.

Suddenly, the boy put down the fries, moved forward, and asked seriously: "Qingqing, can I chase you?" The girl didn't even raise her head and said directly: "No!" The boy asked again: "It's not possible at all. "The girl said simply: "Not at all!" The boy was stunned, looking straight at her and staying there... At that time, the girl was holding a chicken leg in one hand and a hamburger in the other, feeling that the boy was watching. She stopped eating, then looked at the boy with pitiful eyes, and whispered: "Then...can I still eat?" Everyone next to me, including me, laughed out loud. The boy was helpless and busy. Said: "Eat, eat..." This girl is so cute...If I don't let you chase me, I will definitely chase you...I will chase you desperately! ! ! ! I have always been restless in school. When I was a freshman, I went to self-study for the first time. I would sit in the classroom and feel depressed, and then I would go to the corridor to smoke. Not long after lighting up the cigarette, a PL girl came and asked, "We are studying in self-study now! Why did you run out?" I said, I came out to smoke out of boredom, mm, which class are you in? He ran out anyway. PLMM pointed to our classroom and said, "That class!" At that time, I was very excited and said, are we in the same class? What, are you depressed too? She said: Well, a new student in our class ran out during self-study, so I came out to look for him. I smiled, but it seems that he still can’t sit still. Why are you looking for him? You’re not his mother! MM: There is no way, I am his class teacher! I was confused at the time... After a minute, I held back a sentence: Teacher, you look so young... After Phelps won 8 gold medals: What are the swimming competitions of different countries in breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly, and freestyle? 100, 200, 400, 1500 resulted in too many gold medals. They were very dissatisfied and asked to increase the number of gold medals in their dominant events. Brazil proposed: Football should be divided into 3 people, 5 people, 7 people, 11 people, beach, indoor and grass. China proposes: Table tennis should be divided into straight, horizontal, straight doubles, straight singles, and straight and horizontal mixed doubles. The British proposed: Equestrian should be divided into black horse equestrian, white horse equestrian, red horse equestrian, brown horse equestrian, royal horse equestrian, and zebra equestrian. Kenya proposed: Long-distance running should be divided into 10,000 meters, 11,000 meters, 12,000 meters and 13,000 meters. . . Japan proposed: All mixed sports for men and women should increase 3p, 4p, 5p, 6p, 7p. . . Group p. . . 500p. Thailand proposed: In addition to the men's and women's events, all the shemale categories should be added. South Korea proposed: In the future, if a gold medal is added, one should be given to South Korea, because these athletes who won the gold medal are all of Korean descent, or their ancestors are of Korean descent.

I miss you so much 2008-08-23 14:37 You have already rated it! Good:5 You have already rated it! Not good: 0 1. I have been your friend for so long. You have always cared about me, but I often cause you trouble. I really don’t know how to repay you... So... I will act like a bully in the next life... .I will definitely pull weeds and give you something to eat... 2. I miss you very much, but I’m embarrassed to call you. I’m afraid you’re busy, I’m afraid you’ll ignore me, I’m afraid you’ll think I’m harassing you. I really want to contact you, but... the phone bill is really expensive. Please call me. ! ---Old guerrilla 3． If you were a shooting star, I would pursue you. If you were a satellite, I would wait for you. If you were a star, I would fall in love with you. Unfortunately... you are an orangutan~ I can only see you in the zoo!! Alas. .What a pity!! 4. I'm so confused right now... I don't know what I'm thinking... My mind is almost annoyed to death... I really don't know what to do?... Can you tell me... I really don't know Should I eat Da Gan Noodles or Ah Q Bucket Noodles! ---Old guerrilla 5. Thank you for being with me when I was most frustrated, and for helping me when I needed help the most. I can't express it enough in words. I just want to tell you: "No good thing has happened to me since I met you! You really help me." Bad!”---Old guerrilla 6. Sorry~~I sent you a text message so late~~If I disturbed you~~I want to say something to you~~You deserve it~~Who told you to go to bed earlier than me~~~Haha!! 7. Meeting you~ is my heart-beating start to fall in love with you~ it is my happy choice to have you~ is my most precious treasure~~ stepping onto the red carpet~ is my eternal motivation, the person I love forever~ it is you who regrets~ I sent the message to the wrong person 8. Because of you, I believe in fate. Maybe all of this is destined by God, pulling us both secretly. Now, I really want to think about it... What sins did I commit in my previous life! 10． God saw that you were thirsty, and created water; God saw that you were hungry, and created rice; God saw that you had no lovely friends, and created me; but He also saw that there are no idiots in the world, and by the way, He also created you. 11. If it were stipulated that a person could only be nice to one person in his life, I would rather that person be you. I have no regrets and will do it until death! But there are no regulations...then forget it! 12. Thinking of you is a happy thing! Seeing you is a happy thing! Loving you is what I will always do! Keeping you in my heart is what I have always done! But to lie to you, it just happened! Ha ha! 13. The phone rings once, which means I'm thinking of you! Two sounds means I like you! Three sounds means I love you! When the seventh tone rings... Damn it, I really have something to talk to you about, why don't you answer the phone quickly! 14． According to statistics, more than 99.9% of pig-headed people use their thumbs to press buttons to read text messages! Hey, there’s no need to change hands, it’s too late. Pig head! Hahaha 15. I wrote your name in the sky, but it was blown away by the wind; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was washed away by the sea; I wrote your name in every corner... Fuck, I was beaten by the police Caught! 16． If being good-looking is a mistake... I have already made a big mistake. If being cute is a sin... I have already committed a heinous sin. Being a human being is so difficult!... You are fine~ You are right and not guilty... I really envy you 17. When the white clouds float by, it is the trace that I miss you; when the sun shines, it is the feeling that I miss you; when the rain falls, it is the evidence that I miss you; when thunder and lightning strike, it is my prayer to the sky that you will be struck. ...ha--ha-- 18. If I can meet you by burning incense for one year, I can get to know you by burning incense for three years, and I can cherish you by burning incense for ten years, for the happiness of my next life, I am willing to...convert to Christianity... Cold Grass 2008-08-23 17:28 You have already rated it! Good:5 You have already rated it! Bad: 0 001◎When the mouse shows its power, everyone becomes a sick cat. 002◎I was arguing with a girl about whether whales are fish. Finally, I said, "Japanese people also have personal characters", and she finally agreed that whales are not fish. 003◎There is gold under the man’s knee. I cut off the entire leg and couldn’t find even a piece of copper! 004◎I bury corn in the soil in spring, and I will harvest a lot of corn in autumn.

In the spring I bury my wife in the soil, and in the fall I will... be shot! 005◎If you see the shadow in front of you, don’t be afraid, it’s because there is sunshine behind you! 006 ◎ If you are still young after visiting brothels, please use Huiren Shenbao. 007◎Listen to your words and save me ten books! 008◎Appear on the stage at the age of 0, and make progress every day at the age of 10. At the age of 20, you have lofty ideals, and at the age of 30, you work hard to become stronger. The 40-year-old is basically oriented, the 50-year-old is popular everywhere. Playing sex at 60, wandering around at 70. The 80-year-old Lala lives at home, and the 90-year-old hangs it on the wall! 009◎When I take off my clothes, I am a beast; when I put on clothes, I am a beast! 010◎Master Tai, just obey me! ...A long, long time later... Master, please spare me! 011◎ "Dear, I...I'm pregnant...for three months, but don't worry, it's not yours, and you're not responsible..." 012◎We had a little disagreement: she wanted me to turn dirt into gold, and I wanted her to Treat gold like dung. 013◎It is better to study Chinese for 10 years than to chat on QQ for half a year. 014◎I was lazy in bed in the morning, so I took out 6 coins from my pocket: If all six coins are heads, I will go to class! After thinking about it for a long time, I decided not to take the risk... 015◎I bought a Western Zhou clay pot for 80,000 yuan. Yesterday I went to the "Treasure Appraisal" column for appraisal. The expert said seriously: "This is not from the Western Zhou Dynasty. ? This is from last week! ”016◎I can tolerate fake figures, fake faces, fake breasts, and fake butts! ! ! But I just don’t tolerate fake money! ! ! ! 017◎A gentleman pretends to be dead to be a confidant, and a woman undergoes plastic surgery to please herself. 018◎When I grow up, I want to marry Tang Seng. If I can play with him, I will play with him. If I can’t, I will eat him. 019◎One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers, unless there is one male and one female. 020◎Don’t wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly. 021◎If my friends can sell them for five yuan each, I can make a small fortune. 022◎Marriage notice: The requirements are as follows, A is alive and B is female. 023◎Give me some sunshine and I will rot. 024◎You must eat appropriately to lose weight effectively. 025◎Shake and shake until you reach Naihe Bridge. 026◎Destiny is responsible for shuffling the cards, but it is ourselves who play the cards! 027◎Q: What do you like about me? Answer: I like you to stay away from me! 028◎Come back quickly, I can’t fool you! 029◎Life is like Song Zude’s mouth, you never know who will be unlucky next~~~030◎If you fall down, get up and cry again~~~031◎In addition to teeth, there is love . 032◎A dinosaur went to the toilet when passing by Xi'an Jiaotong University. When she came out, she sobbed: "555, I finally don't have to worry about not being able to get married in this life..." 033◎Life is easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy. 034◎My cousin is in his forties. He started studying literature and failed the exam for three consecutive years. Then he practiced martial arts and fired an arrow in the martial arts field, which hit the drummer and drove him out. He changed his studies to medicine, wrote a good prescription, took it, and died. 035◎How much sorrow can you have, just like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel...036◎My life has a limit, and my food has no limit~~~037◎There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage, or money! 038◎When we are young, we often make faces in the mirror; when we are old, the mirror is even. 039◎Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw a stone at my head! 040◎When something goes wrong, first look for the cause within yourself. Don’t blame the earth’s lack of gravity for constipation. 041◎Put your head on the decision, pat your chest on your promise, pat your butt and leave. 042◎We are moving too fast, and our souls can’t keep up... 043◎Don’t be like the people on earth~~~044◎A girl can transform from a virgin to a woman only once and successfully, but a boy needs repeated training to transform from a virgin to a man! 045◎If you come out to hang out, your wife will have to change sooner or later! 046◎When I was a child, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up. But when I grew up, I realized that the whole world couldn’t save me... 047◎Everyone who has money is an uncle! But it’s even worse if you don’t pay back the money you owe! 048◎Even if I were a toad, I would never marry a female toad. 049◎Why sleep for a long time while alive? You will sleep forever after death... 050◎A tailor who doesn’t want to be a cook is not a good driver. 051◎Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately - in the end he killed all his students.

052◎On the way to Xi'an for a business trip, a Dalian man boasted about how good Dalian is. Then he said that Dalian held a grand celebration on the 100th anniversary of the founding of the city. Then he asked the person next to him: "The first anniversary of the founding of Xi'an." Are there any celebrations for the 100th anniversary?" Several Xi'an buddies nearby were stunned, and after a while, they forced out a sentence: "I remember that when Xi'an was founded 600 years ago, there was a 'Fenghuo Opera Princes'..." 053◎Diamonds are forever, one will go bankrupt! 054◎In a harmonious campus, the person riding the bicycle may be a PhD supervisor, while the person driving the Mercedes-Benz may be a logistician... 055◎It is gold, which will always be spent; it is a mirror, which will always reflect light... 056◎My girlfriend is not a nun The reason was that she had not passed Level 4 and was not accepted in the nunnery. 057◎Celebrities can become more famous if they take off a little more, but I was arrested even though I took off all my clothes! 058◎Looking at a beautiful girl, there is no way to strike up a conversation. I picked up a brick on the side of the road and stepped forward, "Classmate, did you drop this?" 059◎When I was a child, my dream was not to be a scientist, but to be a landlord. The young master of my family has thousands of hectares of fertile land. He is ignorant and has no skills all day long. He leads a group of dog slaves to the streets to molest a girl from a good family...060◎Don't talk about your ideals with me, quit it! 061◎The rose is yours, the chocolate is yours, and the diamond is yours. You are mine! 062◎The so-called surprise is that the rabbit you have been waiting for has arrived, followed by the wolf! 063◎What is happiness? Happiness is when cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Ultraman fights little monsters! 064◎Two farmers boasted: "The chickens on our farm eat only tea leaves and lay tea eggs." "Well, our farm gives the chickens wallets to eat and let them lay poached eggs." 065◎Cockroaches are not afraid of cockroaches. The medicine is gone, but we can’t even get vitamins! 066◎Don’t blame the dog for following you if you look like a bun! 067◎The IQ of a man when he is having sex is second only to Einstein! 068◎Study hard for China! A bag of Chinese money is a lot of money... 069◎If you can't put your woman into a wedding dress, then don't stop unbuttoning her clothes! 070◎Don’t think that wearing dirty clothes can be a taint witness; don’t think that wearing wooden slippers can be a clogs witness... 071◎The career belongs to the country, the honor belongs to the unit, the results belong to the leader, the salary belongs to the wife, and the property belongs to The child's mistakes are his own. 072◎The rebirth of a phoenix is ??Nirvana, and the rebirth of a pheasant is the transformation of a corpse. 073◎If one day I become a gangster, please tell others that I was innocent... 074◎Not only do I have a car, but I also drive by myself... 075◎Women have countless QQ accounts just to tease a man, and men often use one QQ account It is filled with all kinds of women... 076◎I accidentally saw the so-called criteria for choosing a mate for contemporary women in a book: "Have a car, a house, and both parents are dead." I was depressed. Then he wrote down the criteria for choosing a wife in his fantasy: "The family has a fortune of over 100 million, the most beautiful in the world, virtuous, gentle and sexy, and the father-in-law has terminal cancer..." 077 ◎ Most people only do three things in their lives: deceiving themselves, deceiving others, and being cheated. Bullying. 078◎Sleep is an art - no one can stop me from pursuing art! 079◎In order to avoid domestic violence, I decided not to get married! 080◎You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig! 081◎The lightning is too fast to deceive one's ears and steal the bell, to remain unchanged despite all changes and never deviate from the original, the success is not worth mentioning, this thing is the most missed. In the wind and rain, how can you sweep away the invincible if you don't sweep a house? The sun rises in the east and the rain keeps falling in the west. Look up to see when the bright moon will come. , as dumb as a tree, chicken feathers serve as arrows, how can you kill a chicken with a small test of a knife, show your sharpness, surround Wei and rescue Zhao Baokui, Very good bye, eight-square tooth Lu Binghua, leap thousands of miles *** Chanjuan... 082 ◎ A blog diary of a certain woman: A certain month One day, I came home drunk, reached out and touched it - my phone and chastity were both there, sleeping! 083◎The beautiful, pure, gentle, sexy and lovely virgin is like a ghost. Men are talking about it, but no one has ever seen it with their own eyes... 084◎I remember the primary school teacher scolded me: "I Kick you out with a slap!" I wanted to laugh but didn't dare. Now, I dare to laugh but I can’t laugh... 085 ◎ If happiness is like clouds, if pain is like stars. Then my life is really cloudless and the sky is filled with stars... 086◎The effect of contraception: If it fails, you will become a "human". 087◎Loneliness is the carnival of one person, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people. 088◎The most tiring thing in the world is watching your heart break and having to glue it back together.

089◎The tragedy of life is that after a night of hard work and beautiful dreams, you wake up the next morning and can’t remember them all! 090◎My father asked me what I want to pursue in life? I answered money and beauty, and my father slapped me in the face fiercely; I answered career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively. 091◎Men are all lustful. A little stronger lust is called *, a little stronger lust is called a pervert, and an even stronger lust is called a pervert. If it is particularly strong, it becomes a perverted pervert. If the lust is to the extreme, it is called a body aesthetic artist. 092 I remember one day shortly after graduation, my girlfriend sent me a text message: "Let's break up!" Before I could feel sad, my girlfriend sent another text: "I'm sorry, I sent it to the wrong one." Now I was completely sad. ……093◎Use and defecate are prohibited here, and tools will be confiscated for violators. 094◎When looking at beautiful women on the street, if you look high, you are appreciative; if you look low, you are a gangster. 095◎My dear, we still have a lot to do in this life, don’t waste your time playing hide and seek with me, come out quickly~~~096◎Women like two flowers in their life: one is money to spend, and the other is money. Spend as much as you can! 097◎An instant hit—describes female artists... 098◎The unfairness of this world lies in the fact that God said: "I want light!" So there was daytime. The beauty said: "I want a diamond ring!" So she got a diamond ring. The rich man said: "I want a woman!" So he got a woman. I said, "I want to take a shower!" The water stopped! 099◎I really don’t understand, girls buy lots and lots of beautiful clothes just to attract boys’ attention, but what boys want to see is girls without clothes. 100◎Occasionally, you will feel happy when life is quiet for a while, but life will be miserable when you are silent for a while... 101◎A child cried, and his father said: Don’t cry. After a while, dad will take you to the vegetable market to watch others eat. Sugar.