I want a joke

Children sit at home and eat. The cat came up to him and meowed. The child threw a piece of

meat to the cat, which ate it and "Mimi".

The child threw it another piece, and it ate it, but it still called "Mimi".

The child was angry, stood up and said loudly, "You sit in my seat, let my Mimi

bark, and you give me meat to eat!"

2 What is "but"?

Pupils are telling a story: "When a cat sees a mouse, it becomes a tiger, but when it sees a tiger, it

becomes a mouse ..."

What does this "but" mean?

He thought for a moment and replied,

"This is an animal bigger than a cat but smaller than a tiger."

3 Bet

Two friends are betting.

"I dare say that you don't have the guts to go into that black house alone!" "

"You said I didn't have the guts? Then come with me and I'll show you! "

4 Tie your shoelaces

On the street, a little girl walked up to an uncle in police uniform. She looked up and down

and asked carefully,

"Are you a policeman?"

"yes."

"Mom said that no matter what difficulties you encounter, you will get help from the police, right?"

"Yes!"

"Good," the little girl lifted one foot. "Please help me tie my shoelaces."

5 pregnant baby

A pregnant woman was walking on the road when a little girl came up to her and asked, "Auntie, why is your

belly so big?"

"Because I have a baby in my stomach!"

"auntie, are you afraid of trouble?"

"ah? Why? "

"You put the baby in your stomach because you thought it was inconvenient to hold it."

1 notice

"What's wrong with you today? What are you doing fiddling with it for so long? " The father said, grabbed the notice from

' s son and turned it over. There is a comment written by the teacher on it: "Shoot slingshots in class, put bugs in classmates' pockets ... please ask parents to talk about it."

"If you do all this at school, what will you be when you grow up?" The father shouted at his son

.

"Dad, this is not my notice. I found it in your old box."

2 methods

A mother educated her 7-year-old son. She said to her son, "There is no seat left in your bus. At this moment, an old woman wants to get on. What should you do?"

"I shouted at her: Go down and wait for the next one! There is no seat, little man. "

3 Not afraid of ghosts

One day, Xiao Yang took his children to Wuzhishan to play. Children are running around all over the mountains. Little

Yang was afraid that the child would be in danger, so he frightened him and said, "Don't run around, be careful that ghosts will eat people here."

The child immediately replied, "I'm not afraid of ghosts. You forget, the uncles and aunts next door all call you a gambling ghost. Mom called me a kid; Grandma called grandpa a heavy smoker; Mom calls you a slacker; You called mom

a dead ghost. I deal with ghosts every day, and I'm afraid of a ghost! "

4 Buy it next time

Dad: "If you get more than 95 points in this exam, I'll buy you a violin. ......

A few blips "Dad, the examination paper was handed out, and I got 96 points. "

Dad:" Good. Well, not bad ... "

Son:" Then give me the violin! ...

Dad: "Money is tight this month. Let's buy it next month."

son: "this is the second exam, take a look."

dad: "ah! ? Only got 59 points? You ... "

Son:" The score is tight this time, let's talk about it next time. "

5 Why

Child: "Dad, what is this smoking?"

Dad: "Remember, it's the chimney that smokes."

child: "call, I know! Dad, why don't you call your nose a chimney? "

Dad: "..."

Study on the chemistry of exuviation

In a restaurant.

A customer, carrying a plate of dumplings, turned away from the sales window and smiled and said, "I like wonton very much!" "

another customer held a bowl of wonton and declared, "I like noodles (noodles) best!"

The customers were stunned, and one of them, an astute customer, solemnly explained, "They

are all very good at food mouldy chemistry."

-----------. "Congratulations, sir, your kitchen here is very hygienic!" "Thank you, Sir ... I'll do my best. However, I ask, you have never visited my kitchen, how can you boast that it is very sanitary here? " "Oh, it's simple. Everything I just ate here smells like soap."

-----------. B: "I own a' foreign goods store'. "A:" Why not sell domestic products? " B: "I don't sell foreign goods, but all domestic goods. Because my business is not good, I can't make money, but I support a few guys, so I call it a' partner shop'."

-----------. "Just open a table." "A table can also earn it 56?" "earn? I lost more than 1 yuan! " "Hang it all, how can you lose it?" "You don't know, I'm hosting a banquet in Chu Zhuangwang, and I invited the five tyrants!"

-----------. The payer couldn't help saying, "I've been standing at your window for 1 minutes." The payee replied slowly, "I have been sitting behind the window for 3 years."

-----------. Shop assistant: "It was quite big when it first came out." Customer: "Why is it small now?" Salesman: "Don't you understand that heat rises and shrinks?"

-----------. When the customers heard this, they all gathered around to see the surprise. The waiter was very angry and said, "You are afraid you are crazy!"! Where is the person in the steamed stuffed bun? " The man said, "You said there was no one in the steamed stuffed bun. How can there be someone's hair in the stuffing?"

-----------. Boss: "Why do you ask this?" Customer: "I want to drill and see where the stuffing is."

-----------. Hunan guests bought a catty and left. At this time, a Shanghainese came to buy it, and the vendor shouted again: "My pepper is not spicy at all, but also sweet." Shanghai guests were about to buy it when they saw Hunan people coming back and said, Your pepper is sweet, but I don't want it. "The peddler argued," This pepper is stale. Those who love spicy food eat spicy food, while those who like sweet food eat sweet food. A passer-by Cantonese listened and said with a smile, "I don't want Chili. Can I buy your stale mouth?"? ！” There was a burst of laughter in the street.

-----------. Shop assistant: "I've never loaded drugs, so I've eliminated any drugs!" "

-----------. "Buy it with a different book." "What book is it with?" "An old age world."

-----------. Young people: "You should have the most eye-catching hairstyle." Barber: "That's good! I'll shave your head. "

-----------. Waiter: "sir, please wait a little longer. The food is already ready." Customer: "Why do you want me to wait when it's already done?" Waiter: "Because there are a few flies in the dish, wait for you to take the vaccination before eating."

-----------. Salesman: "No need, I sell all local snacks."

-----------. The waiter was calm: "But there is no need to add extra money."

-----------. He works as a waiter in a hotel. One morning, he went to hang a signboard, and accidentally, the signboard fell in half. The owner said angrily, "How careless, damn it!" " Mr. Funny said unhurriedly, "Master, you are about to open a branch, which is a good omen!" Congratulations! " The master began to laugh.

-----------. He replied, "I didn't smell it. I was talking to the fish." "What did you talk to the fish about?" "I asked the fish if there was any news in the sea recently." "How did the fish answer you?" "The fish replied that it doesn't know the news in the sea because it has been at sea for a long time!"

-----------. "A man complained in the electronics store. "Why? Can't you hear it? " "Yes, but always at the same time."

-----------. The room conditions are so bad that I can't sleep at night. In order to kill time, I have to get up and read. " Inn owner: "Ah, so you have to pay 5 cents for electricity!" "

-----------. Director: "Thank you very much." Swimmer: "Don't be modest. The lifebuoy produced by your factory deflated at the sight of water, so I had to swim as hard as I could, and I soon learned to swim. "

-----------.