How to promote the development of children's good peer relationship

Wolf dad said that children should have only classmates and no friends when they were students. Do you agree?

How to help children establish positive and healthy peer relationships is very important for their future.

Peer relationship is a part of adult social support system, and it is the beginning of children's development from family to paying attention to the outside world. Children need to learn to get along with others in a wider group, understand the relationship between individuals and groups, grow up healthily in the group, get support and enjoy happiness. Peer relationship is very important, and kindergarten is the golden start, so parents need more encouragement and help.

Peer communication is an important backing of preschool children's positive emotions. A person who is accepted and welcomed by friends will have more confidence when encountering difficulties. As the saying goes, a hero has three gangs, and those who have helpers will at least not be lonely or desperate. Peer relationship gives children equal support and encouragement. Different from parental support and encouragement, parental support and encouragement are unconditional and unique. Peer support and encouragement are conditional, mutual and mobile, but this is normal and must be faced. Peer relationship can also provide beneficial help for children's self-awareness development. Children's attitudes and methods to constantly adjust the relationship between "I" and "others". Only when a person has a healthy and perfect self-awareness can he straighten out his relationship with others, neither excluding communication and narcissism, nor going with the flow without principle.

Peer communication is very important for preschool children, and it will also accompany them in primary and secondary schools. Because the physical and mental development between peers is similar, it is easy to have the same language. In addition, children spend most of their time studying and living together, and their relationship with others will directly affect their mood and judgment of things. Friends can share secrets and happiness, but not unhappiness. Girls communicate through chatting, while boys communicate through activities or games.

Observation, study and active exploration in peer communication are helpful to promote the development of their cognitive ability. Children exchange views and communicate with each other in familiar language and mentality, and they will also chase after each other, such as who runs faster, who paints more like it, who has the most books, who loves to help others and so on. This positive mutual learning and assistance in exploration have deepened their feelings and made them feel more secure in the outside world.

Most urban families are only children. Children are cared for by family members or nannies before the age of three, which can usually meet most requirements. When getting along with adults, children don't have to care about other people's feelings. Meeting their own needs is their only purpose, whether physical or psychological. Before the age of three, children attach the most importance to the relationship with their parents. They confirm their love and care from their parents' hugs and gentle words, gain a sense of security, learn basic communication, and learn to walk and talk. They don't care much about people outside their families, or they are just curious about people outside their families, not out of the need for communication.

Therefore, the primary problem that the only child will face after he is three years old is how to get along with his own children. In the collective life of kindergarten, it is no longer the only object of concern, and personal needs can not be met immediately. This psychological transition period is very important for children, and equality, communication, sharing and cooperation all start here.

After children adapt to the collective life in kindergarten, there will be children they like and dislike, activities they are interested in or not interested in, and teachers who are willing or unwilling to get along. These things are not things for adults at all, but they are big things for children. They may even decide whether to continue attending kindergarten or whether to continue playing with children. Their behavior can't be completely decided by themselves, but if they go out crying in the big class every day, will their parents feel uncomfortable?

To help children adapt to school life as soon as possible, we should start with making friends and getting along well with peers.

I didn't have this problem when I was a child. Children in rural areas are all free-range, and four or five-year-old children are playing crazy with their neighbors' children at home. Before I went to primary school, I had a group of friends who often played together, sticking butterflies with cobwebs, drawing dragonflies with thorns, or turning stones to catch crickets. The children are very lively, there is no communication barrier, and they are not only children, they have brothers and sisters, and they can't eat at home alone. When I was in primary school, I was in the same class as my usual familiar friends, and even playing truant was in droves.

My daughter ningning is not what she was when she was born. For a time, she didn't like going to kindergarten. In addition, children in small classes are more emotional. One cries with the other, and the other wants her mother. No one knows how to be modest and will not discuss it well. Those who get toys only care about playing by themselves, while those who don't get toys either cry or grab them. They have different personalities. Although teachers try their best to be considerate, after all, there are more children and fewer teachers. I can't stand it when my children come home and say all day that they don't want to go again, or even go out with tears in their eyes. But after a period of running-in, the teacher diverted the children's homesickness with some interesting activities, and the children gradually understood that they could go home at night, so they cried less and could play with their companions.

Every day when I come home from school, I will ask about the situation first. "What game did you play today? Is it fun? " "Who did you play with today? Do you like him? " "Which child do you like best to play with? Why? " "Do you want to bring a book to read with your friends?" Ningning sometimes says, "I dropped my blanket today and the children helped me pick it up." I said, "Wow, the children are so friendly. Do you thank them?" She sometimes says, "My child stepped on my foot today." I said, "Really? Does it still hurt? Are you angry? He shouldn't have done it on purpose. Everyone is careless sometimes, isn't it? "

These conversations show the mother's concern and understanding, and also help the baby to clear his mind and let her know how to interact with the child. Pay more attention to children's life in kindergarten, help him explore all kinds of fun in kindergarten, emphasize the entertainment and playfulness of kindergarten, straighten out children's thinking, resolve conflicts between children, let him know that kindergarten is actually a fun place, and playing games with children in kindergarten is a happy thing, so that children will be interested in kindergarten.

Every summer, I make an appointment with my friends to take my children to the seaside for a few days. At the seaside, the children had a good time. They fished crabs, dug bunkers, ate seafood and kicked balls together. They are similar in age and height. They can quickly understand each other's words, and there is a tacit understanding between the children. Moreover, on the one hand, they hope to behave better than each other and get praise from their parents, on the other hand, they understand each other and share toys and snacks. This is to make friends. It is a great progress to develop from unilateral self-interest to mutual benefit.

Free-range experience: help children choose good friends, stay away from bad friends, accept friends and respect friends. Children's activities are getting wider and wider, especially after primary school, friends will become more important, and even the intimacy with parents will be weakened to some extent. This is naturally inevitable. When we are disappointed, we should actively help, because the future is theirs after all.

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