I understand most of the darkness, so I want to cherish the shining you even more

Singer Li Jian once commented on the show: You should read all Yu Hua's novels, but the best is "Shouting in the Drizzle". So, I went to see it.

This book is full of the complexity of human nature, as well as darkness, and is filled with gray and desolate emotions. But there is something that holds me tightly and makes me want to keep reading. Then, I thought about it seriously, what is it that attracts me?

I came to the conclusion that people often forget how they survive the cold winter. Some light can penetrate time and space, stay in time forever, and provide energy repeatedly.

01 Five Years of Dependence

Sun Guanglin was born in Nanmen. His father, Sun Guangcai, is an out-and-out bastard with no good qualities at all. Mother has no say. So as the second son, he was given away when he was 6 years old. His adoptive father was the soldier Wang Liqiang.

Wang Liqiang, who was wearing a military uniform, gave him a brand new grass-green military satchel, which made him feel full of pride on his way to school.

Sometimes in the evening, when the sunset is beautiful, Wang Liqiang will hold his hand and walk on the long stone road and buy him candies. Sun Guanglin would also be beaten, but when he was angry and refused to eat, his adoptive father would go to school and take him to eat the most expensive noodles.

Wang Liqiang was caught having an affair and committed suicide with a grenade. Sun Guanglin was still young at that time and had no way of knowing why he betrayed his adoptive mother. But during those five years, Sun Guanglin received the love of a real father.

The adoptive mother Li Xiuying is a patient with a weird temper. She always thinks she is going to die if she doesn't go out. She had no energy to love anyone and always asked Sun Guanglin to clean the glass so that the sunlight could shine in. But she gave Sun Guanglin the most important trust and strength.

Sun Guanglin was unjustly accused of writing a slogan on the wall to knock down the teacher. He was locked in a small room and interrogated by the teacher. The teacher tried every means to get him to admit it. Wang Liqiang, who was called to school, didn't believe him either.

Only Li Xiuying firmly said: "It was definitely not written by him, I can guarantee it." At that moment, the helpless child was moved to tears.

After Wang Liqiang died, his adoptive mother returned to her parents' home. Sun Guanglin could only return to the south gate alone.

02 Sun Guangping’s One Yuan

When Sun Guanglin returned to the south gate, he was suddenly a burdensome beggar. His father was a scoundrel, and his mother, older brother, and younger brother treated him like a stranger.

The alienation of the family spread to the entire village. Everyone thought he was a bad boy. He didn't even react when his brother was drowned. He just likes to sit by the pond for long periods of time, being dusty in the passing time.

In his heart, Wang Liqiang and Li Xiuying seemed to be his biological parents. The south gate became a place of sojourn, and he was an outsider who could be ignored.

After Sun Guanglin graduated from high school, the college entrance examination resumed and he was admitted to university. He did not tell his family that the registration fee was borrowed from classmates in the village. A month later, when he went to pay back the money, his classmate said, "Your brother has already paid it back for you."

His brother Sun Guangping also prepared some necessities for his brother to go to college. When I left, only my brother went to say goodbye. My father felt that this diner was finally going to get out, and my mother thought why my brother didn’t pass the exam?

Sun Guanglin felt moved by his brother who was picking up the bed in front and wanted to say thank you, but he was unable to break the stiff atmosphere until the car started.

"I still owe you one yuan, and I will pay it back to you." After hearing this, the brother's eyes showed sadness.

Sun Guanglin didn’t understand it at that time, but maybe he understood it later. My brother is proud of him and regards him as the glory of the family.

There are very few moments when my brother feels glorious. Part of it was when classmates from the city came to play at home, and part of it was when his younger brother Sun Guangming saved someone from drowning and was broadcast. He thought the county would send someone to commend their family.

03 The Irreplaceable Su Yu

The Su brothers, Su Yu and Su Hang, have been Sun Guanglin's neighbors for two years.

The doctor father took his two sons and rode on the field road, shouting excitedly from the back seat. This scene gave Sun Guanglin the most beautiful imagination about family.

After entering middle school, Sun Guanglin met Su Yu again. He always walked on the edge of the road with his head lowered, and his lonely figure made Sun Guanglin feel friendly.

They spent their lonely time together, truly understood each other's hearts, and shared the confusion and bitterness of youth.

Such a precious friendship sometimes faces crisis. One day, they walked along the river for a long time, and Su Yu suddenly asked: "Why did you never ask me about my life in the labor camp?"

Su Yu's face was a little grim, and then he smiled sadly. He smiled: "Zheng Liang asked me about it as soon as I came back, but you never asked."

"I didn't expect to ask."

"You look down on me in your heart. Me."

In order to save the friendship between the two, Sun Guanglin confessed that he secretly pinched a girl while watching a movie on the grain farm, to show that he would never despise Su Yu just because he acted like a gangster.

They sat by the river for a long time. After silence, Su Yu said: "There is something I want to tell you. I told you a few days ago. The feeling I feel when I hold a woman is not actually like holding a woman." Holding Zheng Liang's shoulders means holding your shoulders. "That's what I thought at the time."

I saw Su Yu's face suddenly brightened, and the moonlight came again and I could see Su clearly. Yu's vivid smile. Su Yu's smile and his shy voice gave me long-lasting warmth on that moonlit night.

When Su Yu was 19 years old, he died of cerebral blood vessel rupture. Sun Guanglin saw that the doors and windows of Su's house were closed. He stood outside and shouted a few times. There was no movement inside, so he left melancholy.

He found out the next day that Su Yu was dead. Sun Guanglin burst into tears and felt deep sadness.

He could not forget the smile Su Yu showed him when they were walking at both ends of the road. Su Yu, whose face was red, shouted: "Sun Guanglin, do you still remember me?"

"You are Su Yu."

After reading this book, I think, memories The owner of Sun Guanglin's childhood and youth were shrouded in drizzle. The occasional warmth did not last long. His heart certainly never stopped shouting.

He was finally able to pass through all the darkness and long years, and enter the hearts of those in the past so fairly and impartially, because there were once some fragments that sparkled, as eternal as stars, illuminating He moves forward.