What is condolences and what are the rituals?

While "doing seven", a condolence ceremony should be performed. Condolence means that after receiving the obituary notice, relatives and friends pay condolences and express condolences to the family of the deceased. The family members of the deceased should cry over the body in the room, kneel down to express their gratitude to those who come to express their condolences, and greet them with gifts. Generally, mourners carry clothes and quilts given to the deceased, and hang a note with a pin on it with the words "To so and so" written in a brush. The first thing to do is to decorate the mourning hall. A table is placed in front of the soul, with white table clothes hanging on it. On the table are offerings, incense burners, wax stands, and everlasting lamps. Before the burial, this ever-burning lamp must be guarded day and night and cannot be allowed to go out. It is said that this lamp is the soul of the deceased. It is taboo for corpses and coffins to be left in broad daylight. It is said that they are afraid of being subjected to the so-called "sun crystal and moonlight", and they are even more afraid of offending the gods of the past. Therefore, as long as a simple memorial ceremony is held, a memorial tent must be set up. The size of the funeral shed mainly depends on the layout of the funeral courtyard. If you only build a shed for one yard, it is called "a flat shed with a sharp tip", or "one hall", just like a classical palace with a ridge on top. If the mourning house has two yards, you can build a large shed to cover both yards. The shed roof of the mourning hall yard is higher, and the roof of the front yard is slightly lower, so that the two roofs are integrated into one, with the back higher and the front lower. , called "one hall and one volume", that is, the high roof in the backyard is the "dian" and the low roof in the front yard is the "volume". The so-called "dian" means palace; the so-called "roll" means that the roof of the shed is all made of living mats and can be rolled up. This kind of shed has always been covered with several layers of matting foil, so that there are no cedar trees. It is not only beautiful but also waterproof. From the outside, it looks majestic and majestic, like a palace, which makes people feel sad when they look at it. In addition to the main shed, there must also be many sheds with different uses, names, and sizes. Since there are many relatives and friends paying their condolences during this period, and the time is relatively concentrated, there may be crowding at the memorial service, and there may even be no queues. Therefore, one or several sacrificial tents would be erected in other courtyards. Distant relatives and friends who came to express their condolences would be led to such tents by their acquaintances to offer sacrifices. There are also sheds used for official seats for guests to rest, drink tea, and have meals. The hanging ceremony will be held next. This is the most pompous ceremony. In Zhejiang, bereaved families have to set up a "mourning drum" at the gate. The mourners would beat the drum twice as soon as they entered the house, and the relatives would howl and greet them when they heard the drum beat. Those who came to express their condolences saluted and expressed their condolences to the portrait of the deceased, and then wept bitterly. In some places, only a copper chime is placed on the spiritual table, and one person is responsible for knocking it. Every time he knocks it, it is said that when the bronze chime rings, a light will flash on the road to Huangquan, and the soul can be illuminated by the light in front of it. Okay, but you can't knock it repeatedly, otherwise the soul of the dead will stumble around in a hurry. The mournful cries of the female relatives in the mourning hall filled the entire mourning hall. The filial son and his filial daughter-in-law knelt beside the memorial table wearing sackcloth and mourning to accompany the sacrifice. Those who come to express condolences must kneel down to the deceased amid the sounds of mourning and music. It is commonly known as "the first to die is the greatest", so except for the elders who do not kneel down, even the ordinary people have to kneel down. In some places, condolences are called "worship sacrifices". Generally, relatives and friends send incense, candles, firecrackers, paper money, and cloth as sacrificial gifts. In addition to incense and paper, relatives of the son-in-law and natal family must prepare pig heads and geese as sacrificial gifts. When those who came to express their condolences arrived, some of them even cried and sang about the friendly relationship they had with the deceased during their lifetime, and told the deceased how to bless him and so on. The cooked pig's head and the goose's head are made into one piece. When the time comes, one set is worshiped in front of the soul, and then worshiped in order from the senior to the junior. All the descendants of the deceased knelt before the soul, worshiped and cried bitterly. The condolence etiquette in Ningbo is unique, and the sacrifices are also interesting. A pipa harp made of ham was placed in front of the soul, a ginger Taigong made of cooked pig head as the head, cooked pig lungs and liver as the body, a white harp decorated with colorful ribbons, and a white elephant made of cooked pig belly. The phoenix made of cooked chicken is like a small food and technology exhibition on the mourning table, which is the family's thoughts and good wishes for the deceased. When condolences begin, firecrackers go off, and the etiquette procedures are very particular. Those who offer condolences are all dressed in plain clothes, and the order of relative and seniority is the order. The family gathers together, the family members offer sacrifices first, and the foreigners offer sacrifices after. At the back, there is a special saluter holding a bunch of incense and standing on the east side. In addition, a praise building is set up on the west side. Finally, firecrackers are set off to mark the end of the worship ceremony. Nowadays, condolence ceremonies in cities have been greatly simplified. They mainly involve bidding farewell to the body and holding memorial services. The people who came to express condolences were dressed in plain clothes, wearing white flowers and black gauze. Amidst the gentle sounds of mourning music, they bowed to the body in condolences, and then walked around the body to pay homage to the remains.

Those who express their condolences can say some short words of comfort to the main relatives of the deceased, such as "please take care of yourself", "hope you have a grieving moment", "take care of yourself", etc., to encourage the bereaved family to express their condolences and take care of themselves.