Joke Collection Website - Bulletin headlines - No matter how much you drink when you open a shop, you can't sleep. now
No matter how much you drink when you open a shop, you can't sleep. now
Green Mantis (1) Of all the shops in Xia Qing Town, Raymond Yu, one never closes. This shop is an old Zhu porridge shop that has just opened for one month. The law and order in Xia Qing town has always been very good. This is because the folk customs of the town have always been very good, and Liu Zhifu pays special attention to the public security work in the town. But every household will still close the doors and windows before going to bed. Because Liu Zhifu reminded everyone that even if there is no thief to steal things, it is not good for wild cats and dogs to run in. Liu Zhifu specially instructed Zhong Ye, who was working overtime, to remind Zhu, the owner of Lao Zhu's porridge shop, to close the doors and windows every night, be careful with candles and prevent fire and theft. But Zhu didn't close the door at night. Liu Zhifu personally went to Zhu's porridge shop. Lao Zhu porridge shop is now the busiest place in Xia Qing town. In front of the HongLing cloth that reads "Zhu's eight-treasure porridge, I still want to drink it after drinking", people waiting for porridge lined up. Seeing Liu Zhi's short figure appear at the door of the store, Zhu hurriedly ran over: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's so fucking small." The small one worries the magistrate of a county. "He pointed to the queue waiting for porridge at the store gate." You see, it's not that I don't close the door, but that I'm too busy to open and close the door all day. They went back after eating porridge, and I will continue to cook porridge. There is no time. "The shops in Xia Qing town are all old wooden doors. The characteristics of this kind of door are: the wall is a door and the door is a wall. The wall of the shop facing the street is connected by several door panels. When opening and closing the door, place the door panels side by side. There are at least 30 or 40 door panels in Lao Zhu porridge shop, and it is really time-consuming to open and close the door. Although Laozhu porridge shop has only been open for a month, its business is surprisingly good. The porridge shop only sells eight-treasure porridge, as written in the HongLing. People who have been to Lao Zhu's porridge shop drink "Lao Zhu's eight treasures porridge" and "want to drink it after drinking it". Liu Zhifu thinks that "Zhu Babao porridge" is the best Babao porridge he has ever drunk. Since the opening of Lao Zhu porridge shop, Liu Zhixian often goes to the porridge shop and unconsciously smells the fragrance of eight-treasure porridge. In the town, no one knows that this short and diligent county magistrate Liu likes to eat eight-treasure porridge best. The soft and mellow taste of eight-treasure porridge can make him forget the fatigue of the day and vaguely remember some happy past events. But there is always a long queue at the entrance of the porridge shop, and there are always so many things waiting for him in the yamen. Therefore, not every time I go to an old Zhu porridge shop in Liuzhi County, I can drink "old Zhu eight-treasure porridge". On the day when he doesn't drink "Zhu Babao porridge", Liu Zhifu will feel uncomfortable and can't sleep. I was listless when I did things the next day. Fortunately, after Liu Zhifu took his son Iowa once, Iowa opened his eyes every day and clamored for "Zhu Babao porridge". Liu Zhifu agrees that Iowa drinks "pig eight-treasure porridge" every day. The only condition is that Iowa brings a bowl back to Liu Zhifu every time after eating. Although Iowa felt troublesome, she agreed to drink porridge every day after seeing her father's consent. This morning, as usual, Iowa finished a bowl of "Zhu Babao porridge" by herself, made Zhu Sheng a bowl and put it in the prepared food box to take back. It just rained this morning, and there is still some water on the road. There were few people in the street, and Iowa walked carefully in the middle of the bluestone road with a box. Suddenly, a gust of wind made Iowa stagger and almost fell down. Iowa stood firm, but the box fell to the ground. " Zhu Babao porridge "flowed all over the floor. The humid air is filled with the fragrance of "Zhu Babao porridge". Passers-by can't help sniffling. Before Iowa could pick up the box, another whirlwind rolled over. This time, Iowa saw clearly that it was not a gust of wind at all, but a person, a man in gray who walked like the wind. The man threw a few coins to Iowa: "Excuse me. I just knocked you down. "Judging from the accent, people in gray clothes are not locals. Iowa couldn't see his face, which was covered by a wide-brimmed purple felt hat. Hwa can only see his mouth moving. After that, the mouth of that mouth actually shed a mouthful of saliva. " Is this' Zhu Babao porridge'? "The man in gray crouched down, regardless of whether his well-made gray clothes were stained with dirt. He sniffed the eight-treasure porridge on the ground like a big dog, got up and grabbed Iowa: "I finally found it! Tell me, where can I buy such eight-treasure porridge? " O Hua Gang raised my hand and pointed to the direction of Zhu porridge shop. The man disappeared from jen like a gust of wind. Magistrate Liu has been sitting in the front hall waiting for Hwa to come back. Seeing the empty box in Ahua's hand, he quickly asked, "Are all the eight-treasure porridge sold out today?" Iowa said gloomily, "Don't mention it. I met a strange person today. First, I spilled the eight-treasure porridge I bought for you. Then, he bought all the eight-treasure porridge in Lao Zhu's porridge shop. So that no one has porridge to drink. Many people are still waiting for Zhu's porridge at the entrance of the porridge shop. " "How could he buy it all? Boss Zhu used five cauldrons to cook porridge. " "You won't believe it. The man took off his gray clothes, poured all the porridge in like a big bag and left on his back. " "I'm going to see such a strange thing." Liu magistrate of a county said, and went to Zhu's porridge shop. Lao Zhu's porridge shop is very lively, and there are more people waiting to drink porridge at the door than those who go to the theatre during the New Year. Zhu Ran sweated everywhere and advised everyone to come back tomorrow, but no one wanted to. Someone said, "It's hard to make it, and now we have to reschedule when we go back tomorrow. "I won't leave. I will wait here. I will wait until you are ready. " Zhu wiped the sweat from his forehead and said helplessly, "You wait here, I can't do it." "No, Zhu, did you put some medicine in the porridge to make us want to eat it? Why else can't you do it when everyone is watching you do it? " People waiting for porridge put forward their own problems. The crowd was in a mess and surrounded Zhu in the middle. Zhu's head is sweating more. He shook his hand vigorously: "no, no, absolutely not." How can I put medicine into porridge? It's unnatural My old Zhu swore to heaven that if I put medicine in the porridge, I would be struck by lightning and die a natural death. " Liu Zhifu is a short man, standing outside the crowd, trying to go forward several times, but being blocked by others' backs. He saw a big stone chopping block on the side of the road, climbed up at once and shouted to the noisy crowd, "All right, all right. Let me be fair. Everyone said that Zhu had put medicine in the porridge. Is there any evidence? " Everyone fell silent. Liu Zhifu turned to Zhu again: "Zhu, instead of swearing that you didn't put the medicine, it is better to cook porridge in public to convince everyone." It's just a pot of porridge. A few hours at most. "Zhu shook his head and shook his drum. He ran into the store, opened the covers of five cauldrons one by one, and said sadly, "It's not that I don't cook in front of everyone, but that I can't cook." "The traditional rule of our' Zhu Babao porridge' is to cook five cauldrons of porridge in batches. The first pot sold almost the same, the second pot was just right, the second pot was sold out, and the third pot was just right ... Who knows that the man just emptied all five pots of porridge at once, and now he doesn't know which pot to cook first. It's really impossible to cook. " County magistrate Liu jumped off the stone pier and the crowd automatically separated to make way for him. Liu Zhifu walked into the porridge shop, pointed to a pot in front of him and said, "Take this pot as the first bite. When the first pot is almost cooked, you prepare the second pot, and the second pot almost prepares the third pot ... Isn't that good? " Zhu still didn't want to: "You are a magistrate and in charge of the town. But this pot is not your call. I can't break the rules. " Liu Zhifu asked, "If you can't find the first pot, won't your porridge shop go on?" Boss Zhu said, "That's not true. Every pot has a different sound. The first pot has the longest porridge time, so the sound is different. " Green Mantis (bottom) Raymond Yu said anxiously, "Then find it quickly." Boss Zhu said, "I can't find it now. I can't hear it until there is no sound in the dead of night. " So let you come back tomorrow. "So, everyone knows. But it's still early, and many people don't want to go back, so they say, "Boss Zhu, let's do something for you." Zhu smiled and said, "No, I have enough porridge. I saw Zhu Duan bring out several baskets of glutinous rice, red beans and peanuts. "... put them in front of five cauldrons. He took a deep breath, grabbed a handful of peanuts and threw them into the pot one by one. Boss Zhu's speed is too fast, and the peanuts thrown out from his hand into the pot are like a thread. Even more amazing, if there are moldy or withered peanuts, they will fall off this line by themselves. Everyone cheered in unison. Someone asked, "Boss Zhu, are you picking sticky rice one by one?" Zhu did not answer. He grabbed a handful of white glutinous rice with both hands, put one hand on the pot, blew it gently, and the white glutinous rice floated down like snowflakes, leaving only a few pieces of barnyard grass and sand in his hand. This hand turned down to throw away the sand, grabbed another handful of rice, and was already blowing the glutinous rice in the second hand. Zhu took turns blowing the sticky rice on his hand, only to see his arms flying up and down, and the sticky rice turned into white snow fog. Everyone was shocked. Unexpectedly, the material of "Zhu Babao porridge" was chosen like this. Magistrate Liu quietly returned to the county government without saying hello to anyone. When he went out, the tea he just poured was still hot. He took a sip and said to himself, "I'm glad it's okay." "How do you know it's okay?" A deep voice sounded outside the door. Liu Zhifu was not surprised. He stood up and said, "It's a miracle. I knew you would come sooner or later. Please come in and talk. "A man in gray came in, and a purple felt hat with a wide brim covered most of his face." Just now, the child said that he met a stranger, and I thought it would be you. If I heard that someone took five pots of eight-treasure porridge at a time, I would definitely be you. I'm afraid only people in our sect will like eight-treasure porridge so much. "Liu Zhifu poured a bowl of tea for the man in gray." Please have tea, brother. It's been three years since we last met, hasn't it? ""brother is still so enthusiastic. With your qualifications, you should be able to make four famous arrests. "The man in gray took off his hat and respectfully took the tea." I was flattered. After that training injury, not only did I never grow taller, but my kung fu was not as good as before. How to catch a thief without kung fu? " Magistrate Liu looked at the man in gray with a smile, but your courage and judgment are unparalleled among our other disciples. We used to practice martial arts and drink porridge together ... ""I'm fine now. It's just hard work for you to ask the master for delicious eight-treasure porridge for me. " Liu magistrate of a county interrupted the man in gray, "get to the point. You emptied all the porridge this morning, so I guess you will definitely come back. Master, his old man will know the origin as soon as he drinks this porridge. " The man in gray said enviously, "Nothing can hide from my brother's eyes. Indeed, after the master tasted it, he felt that the person who cooked porridge was not an ordinary chef. The material of this eight-treasure porridge has been treated by the skills of "blowing snow in a cold door" and "pointing flowers and jade". Therefore, after the eight-treasure porridge is cooked, the fragrance of the five grains is stronger and more viscous. No wonder I still want to drink after drinking. " Liu Zhifu nodded: "If I guess correctly, Zhu will knock on the pot with his arm instead of his finger tonight. It's not too late for you to start over. " The man in gray said, "This is what I want. Will that brother go? " Magistrate Liu said thoughtfully, "I'll go. I have a few words to say to him. "There is no moon on a cloudy night. After midnight, the town of Xia Qing was shrouded in silence and darkness. There is a small candle lit in the dark, which is the candle on the stove of Lao Zhu porridge shop. Lao Zhu porridge shop closed for the first time since its opening, but the candlelight stubbornly shone through the door panel. Zhu sat cross-legged in front of the stove, his eyes closed slightly and his arms crossed over his head. Candlelight reflected his shadow on the wall, just like a mantis trying to prey. Zhu's arm suddenly stretched out, and he quickly knocked on the cauldron, and the iron pot made a "buzzing" sound. He knocked on five cauldrons in a row, and the sound of five cauldrons was like a bell, which was particularly powerful in the silent night. Zhu listened attentively, and after the voice stopped, he knocked again. This time, Zhu changed the order of the five pots before the sound stopped completely. Put them on the stove to make firewood. It was almost dawn, and a faint fish-belly white appeared on the horizon. The eight-treasure porridge in five cauldrons began to "glug, glug" steaming, and the smell made people want to take a big sip at once. Zhu cleaned the table and put two bowls of porridge on it. Then he took off the door panels one by one, opened the door and said loudly to the outside, "It's not easy to come out for a bowl of porridge and freeze it all night." Liu Zhifu and the man in gray came out of the hiding place. The man in gray said, "Green Mantis, your hearing has improved again. "Zhu smiled and said," No, I didn't know you were nearby until I heard two people swallowing saliva. Otherwise, I will invite you to come in and sit down. " Magistrate Liu was a little embarrassed, but he couldn't resist the temptation of the smell of eight-treasure porridge. He picked up the bowl and took a long drink. Boss Zhu asked, "When did you find out that I was a green mantis?" Liu magistrate of a county to swallow a mouthful of porridge, "since drinking your first bowl of porridge, I doubt it. If you had any action in Xia Qing town, we wouldn't have come to see you today. " The man in gray said, "I thought you ran away after finishing that big case." "So I didn't pay attention to looking for you nearby. I didn't realize that you were a green mantis until I took your porridge home for my master to drink this morning. How do you know our identity? " Boss Zhu said, "You threw away all my porridge yesterday, and I knew I was in trouble. Because everyone in the street knows that the only hobby of the famous arrest coach is drinking porridge. And the person who can take five pots of porridge at a time will not have anyone else except his apprentice. " Liu Zhifu asked, "Why don't you run?" Zhu shook his head: "I have escaped for so many years. Haven't you escaped from your palm? " He stirred the steaming eight-treasure porridge in the pot, and then said, "Lao Zhu's eight-treasure porridge is the secret recipe of my family, but I have been reluctant to open a porridge shop and want to do something big." Who knows that after his career failed, he went astray and became a wanted man. The reason why I opened this porridge shop here is that I intend to never escape and start a new life in a down-to-earth manner. ""Although you are repentant now, the crime you committed is still unforgivable. You still have to come back to prison with me. "The man in gray said, took out a pair of chains and walked towards Zhu." Slow down! "Liu Zhifu stopped the man in gray." You can take him away, but don't cuff him. At dawn, the people in the town can't see clearly. His identity here is boss Zhu, and I want to come back to cook porridge after he gets out of prison. "Liu Zhifu turned to Zhu." Whoever uses kung fu in the right place is a good man. Don't worry, I'll look after the porridge shop for you while you are away. "The sky is completely bright, and the smell of eight-treasure porridge in Lao Zhu's porridge shop attracts people who just woke up from sleep to the store." "Zhu Babao porridge" still makes people "want to drink after drinking". The difference is that Liu Zhixian is busy in the porridge shop today. He brings porridge to everyone, adds water to the pot and buys firewood. Someone asked, "Where is Boss Zhu?" Liu Zhi pointed to the wall, and everyone found some strange slogans posted on it: "The boss has something to go out and give the store to everyone. ""It is everyone's responsibility to take care of the porridge shop. " "If you do it yourself, you will have porridge to drink." Liu Zhifu said, "I see, you have to work when you come to drink porridge in the future." We can't leave these five cauldrons empty until boss Zhu comes back. Do what everyone can do. "Zhu porridge shop door, never closed.
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