Why don't you speak aggressively?

Attacking others aggressively and insulting others in anger are taboos in humor. Once we do this, humor will leave us.

Humor creates laughter. When humor appears, laughter will appear. Of course, humor does not exclude criticism and exposure. The principle of humor is precisely reflected in criticism and exposure. It's just that humorous criticism and exposure are implicit and contain more fun, so they are quite obviously different from straightforward criticism and sharp exposure.

The scenery of Rossi City in Malaysia is very beautiful and there are many tourists. At the entrance of the highway, there is a slogan like this:

"Welcome all tourists and driver friends to visit this city. Speed ????If the driving speed exceeds 40 kilometers, you can enjoy the beautiful scenery of the city; if the driving speed exceeds 70 kilometers, the court welcomes you as a guest; if the driving speed exceeds 90 kilometers, the city's well-equipped emergency hospitals are waiting for you at any time; if the driving speed exceeds 120 kilometers, God will meet you, Amen! ”

The meaning of this slogan is very obvious, that is, “no speeding”, but it does not spell out this meaning rigidly, just like we do in The same slogans you see on the side of the road. It intentionally lists several consequences caused by speeding, and the language is humorous, which dilutes the meaning of criticism and blunts the intensity of the attack. At the same time, it adds interest, just like a good friend talking to us, speaking so beautifully that people can easily accept it.

By blunting the edge of attacks, you create a harmonious atmosphere, ease tense relationships, and bring great benefits to your interpersonal relationships. This requires a high degree of self-cultivation, a broad mind and astute thinking. Only in this way can the tense atmosphere be invisible and transformed into humorous laughter.

1. Change the direct offense to indirect

If you are dissatisfied with the other party, just say it out loud. It will be pleasant, but it may hurt you. It hurts the other person's self-esteem and makes the other person unable to accept it. In serious cases, it can also cause antagonism between the other person and yourself.

The following dialogue is often encountered in family life, and the attack is very strong:

Husband: "You chatter all day long, as if there is nothing in the world without you. I don’t know.”

Wife: “Really?”

Husband: “Yes, there is only one thing you don’t know, and I do.”

p>

Wife: "What's the matter?"

Husband: "You know nothing about yourself."

It is conceivable that the wife was heartbroken after hearing these words. How angry and sad it should be, maybe a "war" will break out between the couple.

Compare it with the following conversation to see the difference:

Husband: "Honey, do you know why you don't grow a beard?"

Husband: "Honey, do you know why you don't grow a beard?"

p>

Wife: "That's because I'm a woman."

Husband: "That's not right."

Wife: "What's the reason?"

Husband: "That's because you chatter all day long and exercise your jaw excessively."

Here, the husband is also criticizing his wife's talkativeness, but the intensity of the attack is just that. It is not as strong as the above example. The reason is that I changed my direct offense to indirect, thus blunting the edge of the attack, making it more pleasant for my wife to listen to, and the humorous taste was effectively enhanced.

It was the first time that Xiao Li brought his girlfriend home. In order to show his talent, he took out some of his sketches for her to appreciate.

"Yes, these sketches are on par with my sister's drawings." said my girlfriend.

"Is your sister majoring in art?" Xiao Li asked very confidently.

"No, she is a third-grade elementary school student." said her girlfriend.

Criticizing your boyfriend for not being good at painting, but not saying it directly, but deliberately comparing it with an elementary school student, indirectly pointing out that your boyfriend's painting level is that of an elementary school student, thus weakening the meaning of attack and making fun of him. The meaning has increased.

The original intention is to criticize and expose, but deliberately taking a detour, saying it in a roundabout way, and expressing oneself indirectly is a clever expression of the humorous strategy of playing hard to get in the face of a severe situation that may cause confrontation. Only by learning this strategy can we control the current situation more effectively and transform our lives in a happy direction.

2. Exaggerate to the point of absurdity

Another effective way to blunt the edge is to exaggerate. No matter how absurd the other person's words and deeds are, there is no need to argue with him tit for tat, as long as Exaggerate his words and deeds to an infinite extent, making them more absurd and even more absurd than he himself can recognize. Then his words and deeds will be self-defeating, and he will realize his mistakes and confront the situation. It won't show up either.

Wife: "We have a camera at home, why did we buy a new one?"

Husband: "This camera has a high-speed shutter."

Wife: "So what?"

Husband: "This way I can take a photo of you shutting up."

The wife loves to nag, so it's obvious to point it out directly It would not change the status quo, so the husband deliberately exaggerated, hoping to use a high-speed shutter camera to take a photo of his wife shutting up. The exaggeration reached an absurd level. The meaning of criticism was there, but the meaning of ridicule was more obvious. The wife will immediately accept her husband’s criticism without affecting the happiness of the relationship between husband and wife.

Let’s look at a humorous conversation:

Mom: “Xiao Ming, what are you doing?”

Xiao Ming: “Mom, I’m painting.”

Mom: "What are you drawing?"

Xiao Ming: "The devil's face!"

Mom: "Have you seen the devil's face?"

Xiao Ming: "Mom, I have seen it."

Mom: "When?"

Xiao Ming: "When dad and mom quarreled."

It must be ugly when parents quarrel, but after the children’s exaggeration, they become like devils. How can parents not be ashamed of their behavior in front of the grimaces drawn by their children? This is far more contagious and easier for people to accept than direct criticism and exposure.

The wife accused her husband and said: "You make the decision on everything yourself, do you still care about me as your wife?"

The husband said: "My eyes are so small, how can I let them go?" "Get off you big guy."

Faced with his wife's accusations, the husband did not argue tit for tat. Instead, he extended and exaggerated his wife's words, forming a "small-eyed" and "big guy". The strong contrast and strong sense of humor effectively improved the atmosphere at the time and turned the wife's anger into joy.

A nobleman wanted to invite a famous violinist to perform at her home, but she did not want to pay, so she wrote an invitation letter to the violinist: "Dear violinist, please You must come to my house for coffee at 10 o'clock tomorrow. Please don't forget to bring your beloved violin."

After reading the invitation, the violinist immediately replied. He said: "Thank you for the invitation. I will definitely go for coffee, but my violin will not go because it never drinks coffee."

I originally refused the other party's invitation, but I was worried about the other party's invitation. Face, without making any explicit statement, he deliberately used the absurd extension "The violin does not drink coffee" to express his attitude. It is both very witty and humorous, showing the elegant feelings of the violinist.

The conflicts we face in life are not life-or-death situations, and there is absolutely no need to adopt the extreme approach of "tit for tooth, blood for blood". Use blunt methods to weaken the tit-for-tat anger and spread the humor more intensely. Then all the unhappiness will disappear and a high-quality life will embrace us all the time.

3. Answer the wrong question and extend it in another direction

In situations where confrontation is obvious, using humor can effectively change the atmosphere at the time and make interpersonal relationships harmonious. However, it must be pointed out that although humor can alleviate confrontation, it cannot completely eliminate it.

Especially in principled confrontations, no matter how superb the humor is, it cannot influence the other party to completely abandon their principles and stand on their own side.

So in this sense, the role of humor in improving interpersonal relationships is not omnipotent. When necessary, the sarcastic edge of humor can even become very sharp, making the other party unable to resist.

Humor can be divided into soft and hard. Soft humor is used for teasing among relatives and friends, which can increase the joyful atmosphere, while hard humor is used to criticize and expose ugly phenomena and hostile forces. He never gives up an inch and has a strong sense of humor.

Whether it is soft humor or hard humor, when answering the other party's accusations, you usually do not give a direct positive answer, but deliberately extend it in another direction, using a way of answering the question to make your answer stronger. sense of humor.

On the bus, a young man saw a beautiful woman sitting next to him and wanted to take the opportunity to talk to her.

The young man said: "Miss, what brand of clothes are you wearing? They are so beautiful. I want to buy one for my sister."

The woman looked at him in surprise. After some discussion, he said: "I advise you not to buy it."

The young man asked eagerly: "Why?"

"What if she puts on my clothes?" Such men will find excuses to talk to her," the woman said.

The beautiful woman saw through the young man's intention. She deliberately did not answer the young man's questions directly, but extended the current facts to the other party's sister, giving the young man a loud warning and making him suffer the consequences.

The judge asked Mike: "Are you willing to apologize to Mr. John, or go to jail for a month?"

"I plan to apologize." Mike said.

The judge ordered: "Then you immediately apologize to Mr. John!"

Mike said to John: "I'm sorry, I scolded you in the morning and you are not a thing. Now, you are a thing." "

Mike was apologizing, but in fact he continued to attack, because "you are not a thing" and "you are a thing" are both insulting words. The great thing is that Mike only changed one word. On the surface, it appears to be a completely opposite statement, but in fact the intensity of the attack has increased.

This is a typical piece of hard humor, suitable for the mutual attacks between hostile parties. Because it is said very cleverly, the other party will be unable to parry and will be at a disadvantage.

A couple was quarreling over trivial family matters.

The wife shouted: "Even if I marry a madman, it is better than marrying you."

The husband retorted: "This is impossible, the marriage law stipulates that close relatives cannot marry. ”

The husband’s counterattack was very clever. He extended the wife’s original words and pointed out that the wife is a close relative of the madman, that is, the same madman. In this way, direct confrontation can be achieved. Relaxed and humorous at the same time. Blunting the edge of attack is the best choice when we face the severe situation of confrontation. In this way, humor appears and the joyful atmosphere comes to us again.