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Looking for humorous and philosophical stories. Urgent!
Breaking the Precepts
The old monk and the young monk were traveling and met a river on the way. He saw a woman who was about to cross the river, but she did not dare to cross. The old monk took the initiative to carry the woman across the river, then put the woman down and continued on the road with the young monk. The little monk couldn't help muttering all the way: What's wrong with Master? How dare you carry a woman across the river? Walking and thinking all the way, I finally couldn't bear it anymore and said: Master, have you violated the precepts? Why did you carry a woman on your back? The old monk sighed: I have given up long ago, but you still can't let go!
**A gentleman is magnanimous, but a villain is always at ease; he has a broad mind, an open mind, and the ability to take things on and let go of things, so that he can always maintain a healthy mentality.
Gift
Once upon a time, two hungry people received a gift from an elder: a fishing rod and a basket of fresh and huge fish. One of them asked for a basket of fish, and the other asked for a fishing rod, so they parted ways. The person who got the fish used dry wood to set up a bonfire and cooked the fish on the spot. He wolfed it down, and before he could taste the aroma of the fresh fish meat, he ate up all the fish and soup in a flash. Soon, he was Starved to death next to an empty fish basket. The other man carried the fishing rod and continued to suffer from hunger, walking hard step by step towards the seaside. But when he saw the blue ocean not far away, the last bit of strength in his body was exhausted. He could only pass away helplessly with endless regrets.
There were two more hungry people. They also received a fishing rod and a basket of fish as gifts from the elder. But they didn't go their separate ways, but agreed to go find the sea together. They only cooked one fish at a time. After a long journey, they came to the seaside. From then on, the two began to fish for a living. , a few years later, they built a house, had their own families, children, built their own fishing boats, and lived a happy and healthy life.
** If a person only cares about immediate interests, he will eventually get short-term happiness; if a person has high goals, he must also face the reality of life. Only by organically combining ideals and reality can we become a successful person. Sometimes, a simple truth is enough to give people meaningful life inspiration.
An unexpected windfall
US soldiers received a reward order from their superiors: if they catch an Afghan guerrilla, they will receive a reward of US$20,000.
Mick and Tom began to search hard for Afghan guerrillas in the desert. As long as they caught a few more, their respective family dreams would be realized. However, after a few days of hard work, not even a trace of the Afghan guerrillas was found. The two gradually went deeper into the mountains and away from the brigade. They leaned against the tree and fell asleep exhausted.
In his sleep, Mick vaguely heard the noise. When he woke up completely, he found that the two of them were surrounded by hundreds of Afghan guerrillas with guns.
Mick rubbed his eyes, very excited, and hurriedly shouted to wake Tom up: "Get up, get up, we are going to make a fortune!"
True bravery< /p>
On a ship, the generals of Britain, France and Germany competed to see whose soldiers were the bravest.
First, the British general called one of his soldiers and said to him: "Climb to the top of the 30-meter-high cabin and jump into the sea." The soldier did as he was told. The British general said proudly: "See, this is bravery!"
Subsequently, the German general also called a soldier and said: "Climb to the 60-meter-high watchtower and jump again Go to the sea." The soldier complied, and the German general said proudly to the other two generals: "See, this is bravery!"
It was the French general's turn, and he also called one of his men. The soldier ordered: "Go to the deck and climb over the railing, and then jump into the sea." Unexpectedly, the soldier listened and said loudly to the general: "Are you crazy?" Then he left without looking back. At this time, the French general smiled and said: "See, this is bravery!"
(Bravery is an ability developed based on a sense of self-esteem - Napoleon)
What I want to say most
The job fair held at the Capital Gymnasium was crowded and noisy. College students sent out their resumes and chatted with the employers. Reporters from TV stations also walked through the crowd to interview this year's employment situation.
In a corner of the hall, the reporter met a girl who was busy preparing her resume, so he rushed over, pointed the camera at her, and asked how the application was going. The girl said that work experience is now emphasized and it is difficult for freshmen to find jobs.
After chatting for a while, the TV reporter asked: "If you were to face the TV audience, what would you say most right now?" The girl immediately took out a resume from her bag and said with expectation: "Your TV station is still recruiting people this year. ”
The ending of the fairy tale
Many people think that after the princess and the prince get married, they live happily ever after. If you saw a fat Cinderella, I believe you would not think so.
It is said that after Cinderella became the prince’s beautiful bride, she was extremely happy every day. In the past, we had to carry water, collect firewood, cook, and do laundry every day, and we often had to finish our meal. Now there are hundreds of maids serving her, and the delicacies sent from various places and the dinner parties and state banquets in the palace make her enjoy eating even more! In addition to the three full meals of Manchu and Han cuisine prepared by the imperial chef, there are also afternoon tea and midnight snacks every day, and her favorite cakes and chocolates are inexhaustible.
It has only been two years since Cinderella married into the palace, but the prince's attitude toward her has become increasingly cold. He is often seen sighing as he looks at the beautiful girl outside the palace. Cinderella was puzzled, until one day she took out the glass slipper and put it on on a whim. Unexpectedly, there was a "clang" and the shoe broke into pieces. Cinderella quickly found her fairy mother. When she saw her, the fairy mother couldn't help but shake her head: "Oh, I forgot to remind you that the load of the glass slipper cannot exceed one hundred kilograms. You are too fat!"
Originally, Cinderella was not impressed by the fact that she had gained weight. Later, the prince planned to marry her two sisters as concubines, which finally made her determined to lose weight. So, Cinderella came to a bodybuilding center.
After paying the registration fee, the waitress instructed her to go in and exercise by herself for a while. Cinderella entered the center and found that there were already two women who were fatter than herself and sighed. Cinderella introduced herself: "Hello, I am Cinderella. Who are you two?" "I am Sleeping Beauty." I am Snow White," replied the two fat women.
The Lesson of the Story
An elementary school teacher asked each student in the class to tell a story and then explain the lesson of the story.
Zhenli was the first to say: "My father has a farm. Every week we put the eggs in a basket and transport them to the market. One day, because of the bumps in the road, the basket fell from the car to the ground, and the eggs They all broke. The lesson of the story is, don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”
The second storyteller was Jack: “My dad also had a farm, and one day, we put it. 12 eggs were put into the incubator, but only 8 chicks hatched. The lesson of the story is that you should not count the eggs before they are hatched, as wishful thinking is often unreliable."
The last one is Peter: " My uncle was a pilot during the war and was shot down by the enemy. He parachuted to a remote island with nothing but a bottle of medicinal whiskey. He was surrounded by 12 enemies and drank the bottle. Whiskey, and then killed all the enemies with his bare hands."
"It's amazing," the teacher said, "but what's the lesson of the story?"
Billy said: "Uncle. Don’t disturb him while drinking.”
The Old Man’s Experience
One afternoon a young man was preparing to tee off on the golf course, when an older gentleman came over and asked. Can I play a few rounds with him?
Because the young man was alone, he readily agreed. After the tee shot, the old man played well. Although the ball didn't hit very far, it moved forward steadily and almost no time was wasted. When they came to the ninth hole, the young man saw a large tree with leafy branches blocking the golf course. The young man observed and measured repeatedly, trying to find a way to avoid the big tree. A few minutes later, the old man spoke: "Young man, do you know? When I was your age, I hit the ball over the top of the tree with one hard blow."
Being beaten by the old man Excited, the young man swung desperately and hit the ball. Unfortunately, the ball flew directly into the canopy of the trees, fell to the ground, and rolled into sight. At this time, the old man said again: "Of course, when I was your age, this tree was only about two meters high."
High-tech watch
A man was catching a plane , but forgot to bring his watch, so he wanted to find someone to ask. At this time, he saw a man carrying two huge suitcases trudging over. The man was wearing an extremely beautiful watch on his wrist.
"Excuse me, what time is it?" he asked.
"Which country is the time?" the man asked.
"Oh?" The man was surprised, "In which countries do you know the time?"
"All countries." The man replied.
"Wow! That's a really good watch!"
"That's not all. This watch also has a GPS satellite system, which can send and receive emails and faxes at any time. This The color screen can watch NTSC TV programs!" The man showed him, and it was true!
"Ah! It's so amazing. I really want to own a watch like this. Can you sell it to me?" This person is full of unlimited expectations.
"To be honest, I'm tired of this watch. How about this, $900?"
This person thinks it's a bit expensive, but he likes this watch so much. , immediately took out the cash and gave the man $900, "Deal!"
"Okay, now, it's yours." The man was relieved and handed him the watch, "This is Your watch." After he happily put on this magical watch, the man pointed to the two big boxes on the ground and said. "These two are batteries!"
Real Estate Advertisement
Someone lives in an old house after retirement. He wanted to sell it and buy a better house, but after a long time, he was unable to do so. Later, he decided to ask a real estate agent for help.
The real estate agent immediately advertised the old house. A few days later, the homeowner saw a particularly alluring photo in a beautifully printed magazine. It was his old house that was photographed.
The ad text is followed by a paragraph about it. Rose burning forgiveness? Poke the four ridges and cut the tombs of the old system, drag and talk about Ou ⒕ lame, lean on it, and fear that it will be restored to the end of the guanid, which invades the hole seal! ?
Ask three questions before you act
The town organized a movie viewing, and young and old men from several villages near and far carried benches and waved cattail fans to the threshing floor to occupy seats.
Old man Wang finally found a place to sit down. After a while, a young man came in front of him. Suddenly, Old Man Wang patted the young man and said to him: "Are you a township cadre?"
"No!" the young man replied. "Then do any of your brothers or sisters work as cadres in the countryside?" "No!" the young man responded. "Are any of your relatives acquainted with the township cadres?" "No!" the young man replied strangely.
After asking, Old Man Wang stopped talking. After a while, Old Man Wang became worried and asked the young man in front of him: "Do you have any neighbors or friends who know the township cadres?" "No! I and I The township cadres have nothing to do with it!" the young man replied readily. After hearing this, Old Man Wang suddenly stopped smiling and yelled angrily: "Boy, your fucking stool has been pressing on my feet for a long time! Bastard!"
The story of the job application
There was an unemployed man who went to Microsoft to find a job as a janitor. After the interview and practical work (cleaning the toilet), the personnel department told him that he was admitted and asked him for an e-mail address to send the admission notice and other documents.
He said: "I don't have a computer, let alone e-mail." The personnel department told him: "For Microsoft, people without e-mail are equal to people who do not exist, so Microsoft cannot use ."
He left Microsoft disappointed, with only $10 in his pocket. He had no choice but to go to a convenience store to buy 10 kilograms of potatoes and resell them door to door. Two hours later he sold out all the potatoes and doubled his profit.
He did business several times and doubled his capital. He found that he could earn money to support himself. So he started this kind of business seriously. With some luck and hard work, his business grew bigger and bigger. He also bought a car and hired new people.
Within 5 years, he established a large "door-to-door" sales company, providing people with the service of buying fresh fruits and vegetables at their doorstep.
He considered planning the future for his family, so he planned to buy an insurance. When signing the contract, the salesperson asked him for his e-mail address. He said again: "I don't have a computer, let alone an e-mail address."
The salesman was surprised: "You have such a big company, but you don't have an e-mail address."
Think about it, how much more work could you do if you had a computer and e-mail? How many businesses can be developed? "
He said: "You can also become a cleaner at Microsoft. "
Last Wish
At the door of heaven, there were three people waiting in line to enter. St. Peter asked them: "Before entering heaven, what do you want to hear from the funeral attendees? What? This is probably your last wish. ”
The first person said: “I am a doctor, and I hope someone will say: ‘He is a great doctor, he saved countless lives! ’”
The second person said: “I am a businessman, and I hope someone will say: ‘He is so successful, and his company has entered the Fortune 500 this year! ’”
The third person said: “I was very moved after hearing what the first two people said. But I want someone to yell, ‘Look! He's moving! '"
The power of mosquitoes
Once upon a time, there were three mosquitoes from Britain, China and the United States. They got together to show off their flying skills. They were so noisy that they could never tell them apart. So they decided to "show off" each other.
The British mosquito was the first to attack. It flew towards a frog and circled around it several times. When it came back, it only saw the frog's body. With its tongue tied in a slipknot, it said proudly: "Tell you! In my hometown, if you don't have this ability, you will be finished soon! "
When the American mosquito saw this, he sneered: "Hmph! A trivial skill, nothing worth mentioning! "So it flew towards the two frogs in front and flew back and forth between them several times. When it came back, the tongues of the two frogs were tied into a dead knot, and then said proudly: "Huh! In my hometown, this is how we can survive! "
The Chinese mosquito looked at them and replied disdainfully: "You are kidding! In our hometown, we have never seen such poor technology! "The British mosquito and the American mosquito said unconvincingly: "Why do you say that? How capable do you think you are? "
So, the Chinese mosquito flew to a group of frogs and shuttled among them several times. When it came back, the frogs' tongues were pulled together and tied into a "Chinese knot."
Charming Bubbles
The statistics class teacher asked each classmate to conduct a survey. This was a boring task, so Charlie chose to investigate how people enjoy themselves.
He first came to a large apartment near the school and knocked on the door of the first room. The person who opened the door was a man. Charlie said: "I am a college student and I am doing a statistical survey now and want to know. What kind of entertainment do you like. "Charlie introduced himself. The man thought for a moment and replied: "Watch the foam in the bath. "Charlie thought his answer was interesting, so he wrote it down and walked forward.
Charlie came to the second door and asked the same question to the second gentleman he met: " I'm doing a statistical survey and want to know what kind of entertainment do you like? The man thought for a while and replied: "Watch the foam in the bath." "
Charlie was very amused and confused. He continued to investigate there, and all the men he met answered "Watch the bubbles in the bath."
Charlie was confused. He left this apartment. This problem troubled him for a long time.
Until one day, he came to the last house to investigate and knocked on the door. This time, a very beautiful girl opened the door. .
Charlie asked: “Miss, what is your name? "The girl replied: "Bubble".
The benefits of foreign languages
One day, an old mouse and a group of little mice were wandering around the room, strolling around, and suddenly a cat Appeared in front of them, the mice began to run away, with the cat chasing after them. Just when they were at the end of their rope, the old mouse who was running in front suddenly turned around and shouted at the cat: " Woof, woof! "The cat didn't understand the situation, and was frightened by the two sudden barks and ran away.
The mice finally escaped. The little mice wiped their sweat and looked at the old mouse with admiring eyes. , at this time, the old mouse patted the shoulders of the little mice and said sincerely: "Children, you have seen how important it is to master a foreign language! ”
Counting Sheep Hardly
There was a couple who ran a ranch. Due to overwork, the husband suffered from insomnia and often couldn’t sleep all night long. He was very distressed. So the wife told When he couldn't sleep, he would lie in bed and count sheep silently, and then he would slowly fall asleep. He tried the method according to the law, but it still didn't work.
The wife knew that her husband was impatient and might get impatient after counting a few times, so she comforted her husband: "You must be too impatient. You must concentrate on counting, and it will only be effective if you count to 10,000. You can try again tonight." ”
The next morning, the wife asked her husband if he had fallen asleep while counting sheep last night. The husband said bitterly: "I still haven't slept all night! I have counted ten thousand sheep, sheared the wool, carded it well, spun it into cloth, sewn it into clothes, shipped it to the United States, and sold them all. The whole deal Earned 3 million yuan! When the money was earned, it was already dawn."
The Depressed Frog
Once upon a time, there was an old man rowing in the lake. Suddenly, a frog came to him. He swam over and only heard the frog shouting to the old man: "Sir! Sir! I am a beautiful princess. As long as you kiss me, I will turn into a princess immediately, and then we can live happily together." ”
The old man picked up the frog, did not kiss it, just put it in his pocket and continued rowing. The frog was a little puzzled and cried out again: "Sir! I am really a beautiful princess. As long as you kiss me, I will turn into a princess immediately, and then we can live happily together!"< /p>
The old man still didn’t speak and continued to row forward. The frog was very angry and said, "Why don't you kiss me? I tell you that I am indeed a beautiful princess."
"Listen, madam," the old man replied, "I am 90 years old. At this age, I would rather have a talking frog."
The weak man's strategy
Two people were exploring the virgin forest, and suddenly, a huge tiger appeared in front of them. .
Seeing that the tiger was about to come, a man quickly kicked off his leather shoes, took out a pair of lighter running shoes from his backpack and put on them. Another person saw that he was still thinking about changing his shoes at the critical moment, and said: "You are so stupid, you can't outrun the tiger even if you change your shoes!" This person shook his head and said: "I don't need to outrun the tiger, as long as I outrun the tiger You'll be fine soon."
Engineers Evade Fare
Three engineers and three accountants went to a meeting in another place. When they got on the train, the three accountants bought three tickets, and the three accountants bought three tickets. The engineer only bought one ticket. The accountants were confused and asked the engineer why he only bought one ticket. The engineer said: "You will know when you get on the train."
As soon as the train started to move three The engineer squeezed into a toilet, and the conductor began to check the tickets. Finally, when she walked outside the toilet, she knocked on the door and said, "Check the tickets." Then the door opened a small crack and a ticket was handed out from inside.
When they returned from a meeting in another place, the accountants felt that the engineers’ method was very good, so they only bought one ticket. But this time the engineers did not buy a ticket, and the accountants again Very puzzled, the engineer still said: "You will understand when you get on the bus."
After getting on the bus, the three accountants immediately squeezed into a toilet, while the three engineers squeezed into the other side of the car Not long after the train started, an engineer walked out of the toilet and came to the outside of the accountants' toilet. He knocked on the door and said, "Check the tickets."
The Magic Ant
A man was sentenced to 12 years in prison and was quite bored in prison. One day, he found an ant that actually understood his words, so he began to train it.
A few years later, this ant could not only stand on his head, do somersaults, but also dance, which made him quite proud. When he was finally released from prison, the first thing he did was run to the bar to show off his magical ant.
He first ordered a glass of beer from the bartender, then took the ant out of his pocket and put it on the table. He loudly said to the bartender: "Look at this ant..." The bartender came over and immediately picked it up. Beat the ant to death, and then said to him apologetically: "I'm sorry, I'll give you a new one right away!"
Churchill's shot
One day, Churchill was going to hold a meeting He was giving a speech. He forgot to bring a very important piece of information before the speech, so he took a taxi home to pick it up. When the car arrived in front of his house, he asked the taxi driver to wait outside for a while before sending him out. Unexpectedly, the driver replied firmly, "No, I have to go back and listen to Churchill's speech."
Churchill was secretly pleased and immediately gave him a considerable tip. The driver was overjoyed. After taking the money, he immediately changed his mind and said: "Sir, I think I'd better wait for you here and let Churchill and his speech go to hell!
Thankless effort
A well-known writer traveled to a small city with only one bookstore.
The owner of this bookstore heard that this writer was going to patronize his bookstore. In order to please the writer, he removed other books from the bookshelf and replaced them all with the writer's works to show that he valued the writer.
On this day, the writer came to the bookstore and saw his own book at a glance. He was very happy. However, he looked around the entire bookstore and found that this bookstore only had his books. He was a little confused. So he asked the boss: "Where are the books by other writers?"
The store owner didn't expect the writer to ask this question. He didn't know how to answer for a while, and he hesitated for a long time before saying: "All other books are sold out!"
p>The Nun and the Priest
A priest was driving on the road and saw a nun on the side of the road, so he stopped and offered to give her a lift.
After entering the car, the nun crossed her legs, exposing her lovely legs from her robe. The pastor took one look and was so happy that he almost caused an accident in the car. After taking control of the car, he sneakily moved his hands up his legs.
The nun looked at him and said, "Father, do you remember Psalm 129?" The priest blushed and apologized quickly, but was forced to remove his hand. But his eyes did not leave her beautiful legs. After changing gears several times, his hands slid towards her beautiful legs again.
The nun said again: "Father, do you remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized again: "I'm sorry, you have to know that the flesh is weak." After arriving at the monastery, the nun got out of the car and gave The pastor gave a meaningful look and left.
When the priest returned to the church, he quickly took out his Bible to find out what was written in Psalm 129. He opened to verse 129, which read: "Go forward and seek, deeper and you will find glory."
The decent approach
The company holds staff meetings in the evening During the call, the power suddenly went out and the conference room was dark. Everyone was waiting quietly. After a while, the manager suddenly called out: "The watch I placed on the conference table is missing!"
"Someone must have stolen it." "Who could have done it?" The following began to discuss.
The chairman looked at everyone sitting here, then shrugged and said to everyone: "Everyone, I will solve this problem in a decent way. Now turn off the lights for five minutes, and everyone will go out one by one. , please put the watch on the table with the clock by the door." Five minutes later, the light came on. The manager walked out of the conference room to get his watch, only to find that there was no watch on the table and the clock was missing.
Chairman Mao’s Quotations
In the 1960s and 1970s, learning Mao’s selections and memorizing quotations were important things in people’s lives, and they advocated active learning and application. The rural children actually used a story vividly.
One day, a teenage boy appeared in front of the counter of a certain township supply and marketing cooperative, wearing coarse cloth clothes covered with patches. He shouted to the salesperson: "I'm buying matches." He stood on tiptoes and handed over a penny. The salesperson said: "A box of matches costs two cents, which is still one cent short."
The child said stubbornly: "How can it be wrong? Chairman Mao said 'one divides into two', isn't that just right?" ?”
The salesperson was stunned by this sudden “attack” and didn’t know how to respond. This is indeed what Chairman Mao said. Who dared not listen to Chairman Mao in that era of crazy criticism? After hesitating for a long time, she had no choice but to say: "Wait a moment, I'll ask the director for instructions."
The child pointed at her back and shouted: "You are not resolute enough in carrying out Chairman Mao's instructions!"
< p>The director was also an activist who studied Mao Zedong. When he heard this, he hurriedly said to the salesperson: "Give it to him quickly."In the poverty and backwardness of the time, for rural people, a cent The money was also a large amount, and the matter quickly spread throughout the village. For a time, the supply and marketing cooperative's matches were sold out at a penny price. Later, more goods came in, and the director of the supply and marketing cooperative had to apply to the director of the Revolutionary Committee to post a notice, which brought the story to an end.
Later, the child grew up and became the mayor of the township.
Slogan on the roof
A film studio was built next to the airport. Normal work was often affected by the noise from nearby planes taking off and landing. The director asked the manager to find a solution. The manager thought about this problem for a long time and decided to solve it directly. He wrote a big slogan on the roof: "Please note that this is a movie studio and needs to be quiet!", hoping to make the pilots feel less conscious after seeing it. noise.
As a result, this slogan brought more noise, because after the pilots saw the banner on the roof, they all wanted to see clearly what was written, so they had to fly the plane lower. Come and see clearly.
God’s help
Once it rained very heavily and the floods began to flood the city. A priest prays in church. Seeing that the flood had reached his waist, suddenly a lifeguard drove a boat and said to the priest: "Father! Come up quickly! Otherwise the flood will drown you!" The priest said: "No! I want to keep my guard." The palace! I firmly believe that God will save me!" So the lifeguard left helplessly.
Soon, the flood had reached the priest's head. The priest had no choice but to stand on the table. At this time, a policeman came over in a small boat and said to the priest: "Come up quickly! Otherwise the flood will drown you." The priest said: "No! I want to guard my temple!" I firmly believe that God will save me!" So the police left helplessly.
After a while, the flood had submerged the church, and the priest had no choice but to hold on to the cross. At this time, a helicopter came over and after dropping the rope ladder, the pilot shouted: "Father! Pull the rope ladder up quickly! Otherwise the flood will drown you!" The priest said firmly: "No! I Guard my palace! I firmly believe that God will save me!" So the helicopter reluctantly left.
However, the flood kept rising and rising, and the priest was finally drowned. After the priest went to heaven, he asked angrily when he saw God: "What did you do! Will your people still believe you in this way?" God said aggrievedly: "What on earth do you want! I have already Two boats and a helicopter have been sent to rescue you! Do you need an aircraft carrier to get on board?"
Military Insurance
Mr. Henman was sent to the American Recruit Training Center. Promote military insurance. Most of the recruits who listened to his speech voluntarily purchased insurance. No one has ever achieved such a high success rate. The training director wanted to know his salesmanship, so he quietly came to class and listened to what he said to the recruits.
“Guys, I want to explain to you the protection brought by military insurance,” Henman said. “If there is a war and you are unfortunately killed in action, and you bought military insurance during your lifetime, the government will Compensate your family members with US$200,000, but if you do not buy insurance, the government will only pay US$6,000 in pensions..."
"What's the use? No amount of money can buy my life. ." A recruit below said in frustration.
"You are wrong," Henman said pleasantly. "Think about it, once a war breaks out, which kind of soldiers will the government send to the battlefield first? Those who have purchased insurance or those who have not purchased insurance?"
Preparations for the Blind
John was about to cross the road when he saw a blind man who was also crossing the road with his guide dog.
John saw that when the light turned green, the dog did not lead its owner across the road, but peed on its owner's pants. Unexpectedly, the blind man reached into his pocket, took a piece of biscuit and fed it to the dog.
John was surprised and said to the blind man: "If that was my dog, I would definitely kick its ass." The blind man listened and replied very calmly: "Yes, that's exactly what I want." Kick it, but I have to find its head first!”
The Cat in the Prisoner Camp
During World War II, three soldiers were imprisoned in the prisoner camp, one of whom was a German soldier. One is the Italian army, and the other is the Japanese army.
One night, the guarding soldier fell asleep. The three of them saw the opportunity and prepared to escape.
The German army was the first to go out, but unexpectedly kicked the soldier's foot. The soldier asked: "Who?" The German soldier was impatient and made a "meow" sound. "Oh, it turns out to be a cat." So the guard continued to sleep.
The Italian army then escaped and accidentally kicked over the kettle. The soldier asked: "Who?" "Meow!" "Oh, another cat. There are so many cats today."
The Japanese soldier was the last to escape, and he actually ran into the cell door. "Who?" "Of course it's a cat!" the Japanese soldier replied proudly.
Hell and Heaven
After death, a man ascended to heaven and stayed in heaven for several days. He felt that heaven was too monotonous, so he asked an angel to let him go to hell, and the angel agreed. Got him.
When he arrived in hell, he saw the palace with flowers, a group of charming ghost girls and all kinds of delicious food, so he said to the devil: "I decided to stay here for the night today. I heard that it is very fun here." He agreed to let him stay the night and sent a beautiful woman to entertain him.
The next day, the man returned to heaven. Compared with hell, life in heaven was still very monotonous. After a while, he began to miss the fun and debauchery in hell again, and once again asked the angel to allow him to go to hell. Everything was just like last time, and he returned to heaven radiant. After a while, he told the angel that he was going to live in hell permanently. After saying this, he ignored the angel's advice and left heaven resolutely.
He arrived in hell and told the devil that he was here to settle down. The devil welcomed him in, but this time he was greeted by an old lady with unkempt hair and wrinkles on her face. "Where are the beauties who received me before?" The man asked dissatisfied and curiously.
"Friend, to tell you the truth, traveling is tourism, but immigration is not the same thing!" the devil told him.
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- Advertising words of green agricultural products