Joke Collection Website - Bulletin headlines - There is sand in the massager, which seems to come out every time you beat it. Is the brand of massager bad?
There is sand in the massager, which seems to come out every time you beat it. Is the brand of massager bad?
Good night
At night, the moonlight shines on the earth quietly, as if it were a layer of gauze and a thick layer of frost. This reminds me of Li Bai's poem "The foot of the bed is bright, and there is no frost." . The moonlight is so pure and real.
The stars in the sky, like naughty children, quietly pierced several small holes in the sky when Mother Moon was not paying attention. Looking at the earth with those twinkling little eyes, as if looking for something. But mother moon is there, dancing with wisps of clouds. The light it emits is so soft.
Everything in the moonlight, everything turned silvery white, like a layer of frost. I walked into a fairy tale world, a beautiful world. It's amazing.
On the river, the bright moon is reflected. I picked up a stone and threw it at the river. Layers of microwaves rippled in the river. Shake the moon on the river up and down. Like a sickle and a broken washbasin.
On the ground, the lights are bright. Every household is lit with lights, just like the stars in the sky. On the road, the "handsome horse" is flying, and those two big eyes are wide open to illuminate the road for the car, making the road look like day. In the bamboo forest, the bamboo was dyed silvery white by moonlight, and a gust of wind blew and sounded wonderful music.
Ah! Beautiful night, I am proud of your beauty, and I love you forever.
②
set off firecrackers
In my memory, the Spring Festival is the most lively festival. Whenever I think of the Spring Festival, I will think of the scene where my father and I set off firecrackers last Spring Festival.
I remember years ago, adults were busy buying new year's goods, and my mother bought vegetables, Spring Festival couplets and jiaozi. Our children are not as busy as adults. On New Year's Eve, my mother asked me to put up Spring Festival couplets with my father, and my father suddenly remembered that he forgot to buy firecrackers. My father and I decided to go downstairs to buy firecrackers together and came to the stall selling firecrackers. There are so many kinds of firecrackers! There are cupolas, rotating guns, barbed fireworks, wrestling guns, fireworks, black spider guns and big thunder. . . . . . Anyway, all kinds of firecrackers can't be put off. Dad bought me a relatively safe throwing gun and a fireworks show, as well as a crackling firecracker and a sky cannon, also called kicking cannon and colorful fireworks show. Walking on the road, I couldn't help throwing a few guns at the ground. The cannon fell to the ground and snapped, which made me feel very funny.
At noon, I heard deafening firecrackers. Dad also took out the firecrackers we bought. When I lit the fire, I only heard firecrackers ringing in the sky, and the whole floor echoed with firecrackers. I hid in the distance and covered my ears. I didn't dare to look carefully until the firecrackers ended. Then, my father took out a kick, held it in his hand, lit the fire, and only heard a whoosh. Kick kicked into the sky like a small rocket, and then exploded. I clap my hands happily. Is this the principle that a real rocket is launched into the sky?
At night, the whole city is brightly lit and colorful fireworks shine in the sky. I lit a fireworks, and the fireworks gave off dazzling sparks. I waved, and the fireworks danced with my arms, drawing a shining halo. Then, dad began to set off the most beautiful fireworks. Light the fire, and colorful balls rush into the sky from the fireworks tube. They are colorful and beautiful. Near the finish line, there was a bang, and a black smoke came out from behind the bucket. My mother and I were shocked to see my father's hands and face turn black. Seeing my father like this, my mother and I laughed our heads off. Dad smiled and said, "It's all caused by inferior guns. You must pay attention to safety when setting off firecrackers in the future. Stop selling inferior guns! " "
I really like this New Year's Eve. This is my happiest Spring Festival.
③
The Spring Festival is coming, I think every family will eat New Year's Eve, jiaozi, rice cakes and so on, and my family is going to pack jiaozi.
That afternoon, I saw grandma busy, scooping water to prepare dough, cutting vegetables and meat to prepare stuffing. I hurried up to help, and grandma said to wash my hands first, and then mix noodles.
Pour in some flour first, then add some warm water, and slowly add water until the flour forms dough. Next, wake the dough for a while. After a while, you have to knead the dough into long strips and then knead a lot of dough. Then, roll it into thin dough with a rolling pin.
The dough is thin and thick and oval. I rolled a lot of dumpling wrappers. Finally, I finished rolling, and then I'm going to wrap the stuffing.
I picked up a dumpling wrapper, I picked up some stuffing, put it in the middle of the dumpling wrapper, and then pinched it from both sides to the middle, so I could pinch some beautiful lace. In this way, I packed a jiaozi. I also participated in the Po jiaozi competition with my grandma. After a while, it was finished. We put all the jiaozi in the steamer and started steaming. Ten minutes later, jiaozi was out of the pot, and I tasted my own jiaozi in jiaozi, not to mention how delicious it was.
④
Today, my father took us to Kaohsiung to play, but I didn't expect my father to drive aimlessly. I can't help asking, "Dad, it's not a good idea for you to drive without knowing your destination." Dad went on to say, "Yes! Then let's go to New Year Street in Kaohsiung. 」
When I arrived at New Year Street, I saw many people buying what they needed for the New Year. My mother told me, "This is Sanfeng Middle Street in Kaohsiung, which is as famous as Dihua Street in Taipei. The new year's goods here will only be sold in the weeks around the New Year, but most of the things sold here are novel and dazzling, such as mushrooms, bacon, dried meat, Spring Festival couplets and so on. No sooner had my mother finished than I began to look around at the goods and food sold in the booth. The most special thing I saw was that someone was selling a whole bunch of raisins and purple peanuts. Isn't this novel? Of course, one thing is absolutely indispensable in the new year, and that is candy. Candy has many different flavors! On the way to the busy New Year Street, I suddenly "boom! Knock on the door. Strong! The sound of gongs and drums attracted my attention. When I took a closer look, it turned out to be a dragon and lion dance. My mother said, "This dragon and lion dance is different from peacetime. The gongs and drums are loud and lively. Shopkeepers wrapped a big red envelope for these hard-working dragon and lion dancers, in order to make money and gain wealth, and their business was booming. After listening to my mother's explanation, I know more about the interesting culture of the New Year.
We wandered around for a while, and then reluctantly left Sanfeng Middle Street. After personally experiencing the experience of going to the streets during the Chinese New Year, plus my mother's explanation, I can better understand the significance of the Chinese New Year to us. This shopping is really killing two birds with one stone and benefiting a lot.
Today, my sister and mother and I went to the zoo.
We saw the little monkey, very cute. One of the female monkeys doesn't have enough to eat. She always asks us for something. We didn't want to feed it, so we went to feed other monkeys, but it followed us all the time. We found a hungry little monkey. While feeding it, the Monkey King came over. At first, I was afraid to feed the Monkey King, only my mother and sister did. Later, I found that there was nothing to be afraid of, so I fed myself. The little monkeys didn't eat the melon seeds fed by their sisters at first, but only the peanuts I took. They kept asking me for them, and later they also ate melon seeds. They are almost full, so we go to feed other animals.
We see that peacocks don't like eating very much, and one of them has opened its screen for three times. Mom said it was showing off to the female peacock! Maybe I want to compare it with the clothes my sister and I are wearing! We found that the turkey next to the peacock will also open its screen, and its tail looks like a feather fan from behind. I don't even want to leave.
We also went to see sika deer. I didn't dare to feed it with my hands at first, but then I did. When I eat, it touches me with its nose. Its nose is soft and warm, which is very interesting. I like it very much. But its two horns were cut off by people. I feel sorry for it. We can't hurt animals.
We went to feed the little camel again, and I found the little camel too poor. My sister is feeding it with pine branches, and my mother is not sure if this is what it eats. I can try it. It's delicious. We found that its teeth are also sharp. It lives in such a dirty house that I think it will walk out of this place one day. We fed it some peanuts, and the camel ate well. My mother told me that camels are friends of human beings. They can walk in the desert and people can ride them.
Finally, we went to see the little monkey again and left reluctantly. On the way, I told my mother that I would definitely come again in a few days.
⑤
Today, nothing happened. I just looked out the window and thought: How many days before the Spring Festival? In the face of the arrival of the new year, should I say that the new year is good or not?
Say it's not good, but time has passed and another year has begun! With the passage of time, my life span has been shortened by one year. In the fleeting time, I still have many things to finish. This year will be put off until next year, and next year will be put into the year after next. In this case, when can I finish these things?
It was good, but as time went on, I finally grew up by one year. In a few years, I will not be a child, but an adult. I can stop being scolded by my parents: don't join the fun of adults and children … Besides, I have made great progress this year, and I can play badminton well. My English has made great progress. ...
I think: good and bad are two kinds of mentality. Good is optimism, bad is pessimism. Why don't I choose optimism in my life choice?
I've seen it before, and CCTV has a column called, Happiness is also a day, and unhappiness is also a day. Why not be happy every day? In fact, think about how common a sentence is, but it reveals something. We can choose our own mood.
Welcome the new year with a positive attitude. When the new year came, I grew up by another year. It is a big boy. Anyone who wants to have his own ideas should stop doing things that make mom and dad unhappy. I hope that in the new year, my whole family will be healthy and happy, and I can also learn and make progress!
⑥
dream
This morning, the winter vacation began and the students were very happy. Her heart is beating.
She knows that her mother is encouraging her neighbors' good friends and encouraging them to continue their efforts. A beautiful sentence touched her heart and she longed for it. Because she couldn't study, her mother began to give her the cold shoulder again. She felt a little wronged. Usually, she studies hard and thinks hard, but she just can't learn well. She knows that her mother is encouraging her neighbors' good friends and encouraging them to continue their efforts. A beautiful sentence touched her heart and she longed for it. Because she couldn't study, her mother began to give her the cold shoulder again. She felt a little wronged. Usually, she studies hard and thinks hard, but she just can't learn well. Mother may not understand that she didn't turn on the light to play in the dark. This light means that she is thinking about her ruthless homework. She was tired and sleepy, but she persisted. Mother doesn't understand why she likes lying in bed. It's not that she doesn't want to go to school, but that she is really sleepy. ...
She envies and envies her neighbors. She was silent. She writes about winter vacation homework seriously, and her hard work makes her mother qualified to praise her. At this time, she began to lose heart again, because she seemed to be working hard in vain and no one paid attention to her at all. She thought it was ridiculous.
She knows that her mother is too busy to take care of her, and she hopes that one day, her mother can talk to her. Tell their stories together, count the stars together, tell jokes together ... Even if my mother says the simple word "Come on", she will be full of confidence and extremely happy ... Thought of here, she wants to cry, but after crying? The room is still empty.
Unfortunately, her wish can't come true. Maybe mother only likes that good girl and doesn't like her, and she can't be a good girl in her mother's mind. She remembers that she wanted to talk to her mother again and again, but she was stung by her mother's irrelevant words. It turned out that my mother didn't know her suffering, but she didn't know the consequences. She hid the pain in her heart and believed that her mother meant no harm.
The door suddenly jammed and my mother came slowly. Her heart was pounding, and she thought, "Mom came to see me, and Mom came to talk to me ..." Her long-cherished wish was about to come true. She excitedly wrote her homework and jumped with excitement. Finally, her mother patted her shoulder. She turned around like a child and stared at her mother. Her mother was frightened and quickly said, dinner is ready!
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