2021 Funny Talk about Those Evil Charms Who Are Even Lowest But Invincible

1. If you live a bleak life, I will laugh wildly

2. Deskmate, I really envy you to have such a good deskmate like me. This is really something I cultivated in my previous life. What a blessing

3. I bought a pack of Oreos and tried to twist them as shown on TV, but I couldn’t twist them open even if I rubbed them

4. I have been afraid of the dark since I was a child. I don’t study well because I don’t dare to look at the blackboard

5. When I go shopping, someone pays the bill, and when it rains, someone holds an umbrella. Even if I quarrel, I feel romantic

6. I used to think that everyone with a high QQ level It’s awesome. Now I’ve discovered that the more sun there is, the older people are.

7. Some people say that if you fall in love, your IQ will drop to zero. Could it be that I am in love with my homework, right?

8. Time Just like running water, it flows slowly and then gathers in time

9. Love is like glass, it will crack when someone knocks on it

10. Since the wealthy We are friends, so let’s give you a rich gold mobile phone

11. If I can’t have the beauty in heaven, then let me go to your world

12. I want it Work hard to make money and buy an ATM later

13. If you see a man who wears his underwear outside and looks tough, don’t be afraid, maybe he is really a superman

14 , Who said that women are petty? It’s not the woman who is petty, it’s the man who took away her heart

15. Time flies so fast, and in the blink of an eye you have become an old man

16. I want to finish all the soy sauce in the world and make others jealous

17. Life is like making a phone call, either you hang up first or I hang up first

18. Goods have expiration dates and people get tired of looking at them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

19. Don’t blame me for gaining weight. If you want to blame me, I can only blame you. You keep making me angry

20. Sorry, the number you dialed is already married. Please delete it. You don’t need to contact me in the future.

21. I must live with you. If I don’t want to be your wife, I will be your stepmother.

22. Money is just a piece of paper if you don’t spend it. If you spend it, it is money.

23. I am entangled with two things every day. I don’t want to sleep at night and I don’t want to sleep during the day. Wake up

24. Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills the students in the end

25. They all say that I am not good and have ADHD. But I feel like I’m the most well-behaved one

26. Meeting strangers is actually very troublesome, and many lies have to be told again

27. Students: There is no limit to learning. If you work hard to make a boat, use Noah’s Ark

28. These days, it’s either Sohu or Sogou. Cats just don’t understand it.

29. If apple trees can really bear fruit iPhone, how great that would be

30. The law of success, read more, read more newspapers, eat less snacks, sleep more

31. Draw a circle, who is in it , who is the murderer

32. Every time I see a man grinding and grinding and looking slovenly, I want to give him a slap in the face

33. I skipped too many classes and I want to go to class today. When I saw the teacher, the teacher was surprised and said, "I haven't seen you for a long time. You have grown so big

34. Only by living like a hero can you truly win the beauty. It takes a long time to cultivate a heroic heart

35. Only a bright future is suitable for a high-class person like you to live in

36. Even if you can know what I am thinking, it does not mean that you truly understand me

< p> 37. Riding a bicycle and hitting a big tree, the posture is still very cool

38. My biggest specialty is: I talk nonsense, how can I talk to you if I don’t let you

39. Please keep my love and get out of my world without stopping

40. If you are a scumbag, you will never become a top student; if you are a weakling, you will never become a strong person

41. If you had known that your sister's heart had changed, why would you still be talking about **** love in the end?

42. Don't think that I am immune to all poisons, but in fact, I have already been pierced by thousands of arrows.

43. With your arrogant attitude, get out of my sight

44. Wait for the day when men don’t bother anymore, I will have a good talk Breakup of love

45. Give up loving you and continue to look for people who can find the good in me

46. Sorry, I have my own happiness and don’t want to be your backup

47. Don’t say you can’t bear it anymore, just say goodbye neatly

48. I want to give you all the happiness, but you are not willing to take it with your own hands

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49. Either you have always loved me, or you should leave me as soon as possible

50. Girl, don’t cry easily, are your tears just tap water? Funny talk

< p> 1. Diseases enter through the mouth, and disasters come out from the mouth, so it is safest to shut up

2. There are four states of people: busy, very busy, very busy, and calm and unhurried.

3. When you think the person you like also likes you, it is usually because you are overthinking it.

4. What breaks an egg from the outside is food, but what breaks an egg from the inside is life.

5. Go to the supermarket to eat before the end, preferably until you are exhausted

< p> 6. My crush changed his hairstyle yesterday, and I suddenly felt like I had a change of heart.

7. As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Ultraman

8. One smile will make you less than ten years old, and another smile will make wrinkles appear.

9. Three laws of the workplace: Either endure it! Either be cruel! Either get lost

10. Friendship is like a vase, it will break when someone messes with it.

11. I connected all the memories into a movie, and a tragedy was produced

12. The Smurfs sang to Avatar: "When I grow up, I will become you".

13. In the morning, I chased a bus by taxi and chased it to the terminal.

14. Either you don’t work seriously, or you don’t work seriously.

15. Dreams cannot be measured in money, otherwise your dreams will depreciate.

16. This book is very beautiful, so I have been reluctant to read it.

17. Although I will not die if I admit defeat, I will not admit defeat even if I die.

18. In life, old age, illness and death, we must: live well, age slowly, get sick late, and die quickly.

19. You, a thick-skinned person, actually treat others badly.

20. Family affairs, state affairs, and world affairs, and having no money to eat is a big deal

21. I am a human being, but you are not me, so you are not a human being.

22. You can’t be eaten as food, but I feel full when I see you.

23. Why do I feel sleepy when I read a book? Because books are where dreams begin

24. That year, Sora Aoi was still a virgin and Edison didn’t have a camera.

25. People want to lose weight, reduce waist and butt, why do you have to start with brain cells.

26. I asked God: How to be happy and forget the sad things at the same time. God replied: drive yourself crazy.

27. Shamelessness, if done well, is called a strong psychological quality.

28. Since I bought insurance, I don’t even look at the traffic lights when walking.

29. China Mobile and China Unicom are husband and wife. I gave birth to a child named China Telecom

30. When money stands up and speaks, all truth goes to sleep.

31. I am my son’s passport, and my son is my epitaph.

32. I only have eyes for you. Um...it turns out I'm just an eye peeper.

33. Tea leaves are really pitiful. They praise them when they are making them, but then they are ruthlessly thrown away after making them.

34. When you have no money, you have a group of friends; when you have money, you have a group of bodyguards...

35. Life is like a pancake, you have to turn it over enough times to mature.

36. Young people don’t work hard. The boss does his homework.

37. Hold the hand. If the child refuses to leave, beat the child unconscious and continue to drag him away.

38. All the dinosaurs died in the last apocalypse; so I am very worried about you this time.

39. While others vomit truth after drinking, I only vomit food after drinking.

40. Metal detectors are not only used for security checks, some people use them to pick up garbage.

41. What should we do if the world ends? suicide. Why? Go down first and take a seat

42. How many people’s reputations have been ruined by so-called good friends.

43. A good girlfriend can save 200G hard drive on your computer.

44. Sun Wukong is too fickle, so he is destined to be single.

45. The wind is rustling and the water is cold. You have to pay back the money you owe.

46. They say that if you have a crew cut, you will live a proud life, so is it wiser to have a pig head cut?

47. How many people in the world owe you money, which makes you miserable every day. Deputy, the most despicable and funny things about the dead but not buried appearance

The most despicable and funny things to say

1. My son has graduated and is going to be a small leader in a certain department. My father, who is used to being a leader, said, "Do you know what the most important thing was to do just now?" The son thought for a while and said, of course it is to establish prestige. . . . . The father nods, and the child can be taught! Unexpectedly, the son continued, WeChat, QQ groups, and friend circles should be established so that everyone can play happily together!

2. It was a hot day today. An old man was crossing the street. A car happened to knock him down. The old man stood up immediately. Passers-by praised him and said that he is a good man. Okay, don’t blackmail people! example! The old man couldn't stand it anymore and said loudly: Stop competing there, your ass is burning! Sit down and try it!

3. Manager, starting from today, your monthly salary will be increased to 5,000 yuan! Employee A, great, long live the manager! Employee B and Manager, is it because our company’s performance is good? Manager, no, because today is April Fool's Day! !

4. My mother wanted to buy clothes for my daughter. I didn’t want my mother to spend money, so I kept stopping her. My daughter couldn’t stand it anymore, so she pulled me aside and scolded me. Mom is so angry, why don’t you listen to your mother so much? Your hair has turned gray with anger. If grandma wants to buy it for me, just let me buy it.

5. I have a 6-year-old son. Yesterday afternoon I looked for my son to go to a training class, but couldn't find him anywhere. Our family is worried. Is our son lost? In the end, I had no choice but to call the police. My wife was crying and walked to a neighbor's house. Suddenly she heard someone whispering in the bedroom. When she walked in, she found her son. This is not the point. The point is that he and the neighbor's 7-year-old daughter were sleeping naked together. I have to say, son, you have a future! ! I'm proud of you.

6. Tian went to the toy store with a fifty-yuan counterfeit bill and fell in love with an airplane. When I paid for it, I handed the 50 yuan to the cashier. The cashier said that the money was fake. I was not happy at that time. What I said about your flight was true.

7. My cousin came to see me and had a meal with the couple. During the dinner, the two showed their affection. Brother-in-law, Daniel Wu or Takeshi Kaneshiro, which one do you think is more handsome? Sister, huh? Are you not included in the options? The brother-in-law looked shy, so who is the most handsome, Daniel Wu, Takeshi Kaneshiro or me? ~Sister, Daniel Wu.

8. Have you installed satellite positioning or electronic tracking? Beauty, I started avoiding you when I was fifty meters away! You're driving in the opposite direction! I'm hiding from you in the green belt! You still hit me so accurately! Fortunately, you have an electric car instead of a four-wheeled one. Now I'm in the crematorium!

9. A relative at home introduced me to a partner, and the photo was sent directly to my mother’s mobile phone. She rejected her straight away and told me three days ago that the reason for rejection was that she was too thin and her breasts were too thin. It's too big, and the front and back are unsightly. Now I want to know what procedures are required to sever the relationship between mother and child. I'm waiting online. It's urgent! !

10. The buddies took their girlfriends to the amusement park.

When we arrived at the haunted house, in order not to embarrass ourselves in front of our girlfriends, we yelled and pounced on the ghost. Later, when we went to play again, we saw the last tourist information next to the door marked in red pen. 1. It is forbidden to scare ghosts

11. I went on a business trip to Zhengzhou (four people) and returned to Shenyang today. I couldn’t get a taxi from the hotel, so I took four motorcycle taxis (electric vehicles) to the subway entrance in desperation. After getting off the bus and paying, we were delayed for a while at the subway entrance. Five minutes later, one of the motorcycles came back and brought back the suitcases we forgot to take off. I have always heard that Henan has many bad people, but in fact The people in Zhengzhou we have interacted with in the past three days are all very nice. Thumbs up to the people in Henan!

12. It rained heavily in Wuhan and the roads were flooded. A colleague of mine had a huge quarrel with his wife. Do you know why? His wife called him and told him that it was raining so hard that the road was flooded and that he could not go back. When the brother heard this, he became anxious and immediately said, "Be careful, don't drop your phone in the water.

13. Damn it, I spent more than 500 to buy a bicycle and lent it to someone to ride. A few days later, I came over and said it was stolen. I politely said it was stolen, and then there was no sound. The key is that his family has money. , I am so poor, I really don’t know what these people think, I feel happy to take advantage of them

14. My husband works outside and was supposed to come back in about 10 days, but suddenly came back the next day , I asked him, why did you come all the way back? He said affectionately, I came back from so far away just to take a look at you! In the end, he really only glanced at me and then went to look at his mobile phone!

15. Call your wife. My two-and-a-half-year-old daughter picked it up. Daughter, hello! Who are you? As soon as I heard the voice of my daughter, I said, "I am your father's daughter, oh!" You call your dad, I told your mom to answer the phone, but my daughter shouted and my mom answered the phone. My wife asked her who she was? The daughter replied: Your father. While my wife was scolding her, she came over to answer the phone. This kid didn't even call me grandpa. He took the phone and said to me, Dad! What's wrong

16. Today my wife asked me why I bought insurance for myself and not for her! I said this is a guarantee for you in the future! If I die, the insurance company will pay a large sum of money to you and my son! She said I was selfish! What if I don't die? good! You are cruel! I wish myself a long life

17. While I was at work, a colleague answered the phone. This is a call from his four-year-old son (the child is having a lot of fun in his hometown during the holidays), Dad, don’t come back. I feel bad when you come back, and I feel bad, so don’t come back, and you won’t do it again. Give me a call. The colleague smiled and said, OK, then dad will pick you up when school starts.

18. A certain university published an announcement on Mop that it would build a world-class university. Due to a typing error, it was typed as a world-class university. An error was discovered seven days later, but no one corrected it. Everyone commented and liked the post!

19. Last night, I didn’t know why we came up with the issue of flat chests while chatting, and then we started to discuss various things about what flat chests are. Suddenly, a roommate resolutely said, “Get out of the way,” and I took off my bra. Look what flat chest is!

20. The younger brother discovered that the poster relied on the almanac, and asked his brother, why do you need to read the almanac? Because following the almanac can make people lucky. Later, my younger brother also followed my example, but one day the almanac said it was forbidden to urinate, and he actually didn't pee for a whole day, and he lay in bed sweating profusely. Oh my brother! The taboo on the almanac does not prevent you from peeing! Mom, please listen to my explanation!

21. Chatting with a friend, he said, my father asked me to go back to raise cattle and bought four to five hundred cows for me to go home and raise. I said, ok, your family is quite rich. If a cow costs 10,000 yuan, 400 to 500 cows will cost 4 to 5 million yuan. I didn’t realize it. He was stunned and said, I'm talking about snails. . .

22. Nowadays, people say that the 70s and 80s are not easy to live in. In fact, the most difficult thing is for us born in the 90s. We have not long entered the society. We do not have the experience of the 80s and 80s, and do not have the savings of the 70s. I don’t even have the experience of those born in the 1960s, but I have to bear the high prices of goods and housing, and I have to pretend to be a grandson for work, so I can’t live a happy life.

I complained when I was in a bad mood

23. There was a three-year-old girl at home who was watching TV with her. She was eating seaweed and she saw it, so she ate it with her. She didn’t object. Then she burst into tears. Why did you take my seaweed? You'll pay if you eat them all! Mom is so poor that she can't afford to pay. The little one stopped crying and turned over on the sofa. She grabbed her father and yelled, "If your husband has money to buy seaweed, ask your husband to pay for you.

24. The head teacher asked us to write an essay. Prepare your own topic. The second-rate classmate wrote down the plot of the latest episode of Power Rangers which we loved to watch at the time! Change the names of the characters inside to me and several neighboring tables. But the class teacher praised this essay in public the next day! Anyway, it’s good. When the climax came, the class teacher asked the classmate to go to the podium and read the essay aloud. Except for some female classmates, all the male students below us laughed.

25. At the breakfast restaurant, I found that the next table was a neighbor in the community. I had money on me. If there wasn't enough, I had to eat slowly, planning to wait for him to finish the meal or help me pay the bill. Two hours later, he couldn't help but come over and said to me, "How about we give it to each other? I don't have enough money."

26. Today, the girl is cooking and I am sorting the dishes. The girl took a bite of the food she cooked and said with a face full of intoxication, the stir-fried food is so delicious! I said something stupid, usually when a dog eats a cock, he is thinking in his mind, the cock is so delicious! Immediately after I finished speaking, I felt a chill on my back.

27. Hello everyone, I just saw a warm reminder. Confession on April Fool’s Day is so weak. Confession on Qingming Festival is the best, because if you are rejected, you can say sorry. I was possessed just now

< p> 28. On April Fool's Day, the dormitory aunt rushed into the classmates' dormitory angrily and said, "Are there two men hiding in your dormitory?" The people in the dormitory were very angry. One of the women said fiercely, "Two men are hiding in your dormitory." How can one man feed the six of us?

29. My neighbor has two little rabbits in the yard. My daughter likes them very much. She goes over to see them every day, feeds them vegetables, and sings little songs. Children's song "Rabbit is good." On this day, my daughter took me to see the rabbit with her, and asked me and my mother, why doesn't sister Tiantian next door watch the rabbit? I said, sister Tiantian is too busy and has no time to watch the rabbit. The daughter went on to say, if you don’t care about rabbits, why raise rabbits?

30. When I was young, I went to my uncle’s house to play. There was a big rooster that liked me very much and played well with me. My uncle watched me and the big rooster. When the rooster was playing, he asked me if I wanted to eat the big rooster. I was young at the time and didn’t hear clearly. I thought my uncle was going to give it to me, so I happily agreed. In the evening, the big rooster was cooked. As a young person, I cried holding the chicken bones. It’s been a long time

31. A buddy was dating a girlfriend who was his dad’s former lover. What’s sad is that her mother even brought someone to beat her. What’s even sadder is that my buddy didn’t know about it and took her there. Meeting my parents, the scene at that time

32. I accompanied my bestie for a prenatal check-up. When the results came out, we asked if it was a boy or a girl. The doctor said he was not sure. Why are you not sure? I pulled her and left. People have already told you the answer. Why are you asking?

33. Sister, why do you have a system for boys to urinate standing in the women's bathroom in your hotel? Sister who peed on the toilet, please keep your voice down, this is the secret of our hotel! Sister, please tell me! Sister, Korean stars come to our hotel often~~~

34. Patient vs. Dentist He said, you are really good at making money. You made 10 dollars in just 3 seconds. The doctor replied, I can pull it out for you in slow motion.

35. I feel a little sleepy while driving. I parked the car on the side of the road and was about to take a nap. Unexpectedly, as soon as I closed my eyes, a cold voice came from the co-pilot: Do you want to pass the road test?

36 When I went to get a tattoo, I asked the tattoo master what kind of tattoo would be more domineering and make people stay away! The tattoo master introduced me to classical tattoos such as dragon, tiger, wolf, leopard, etc.

Finally, I thought about it and told him, give me the striped national highway! Let them know that I am also a gangster!

37. I went out with friends and passed by a barber shop. I wanted to get a haircut because it was hot in the summer, so I just said I would have a haircut. After washing my hair, the barber stood behind me and looked at me. Looking at myself in the mirror, I said earnestly, "Why do you have such a long hair? Tell me if you have anything you can't think of. I was instantly messed up.

38. During class, a classmate secretly While playing with my mobile phone, I made eye contact with my fourth and fifth classmates for a while, and then we locked our eyes on that classmate’s mobile phone. When his cell phone was taken away by the teacher, we silently withdrew our gaze.

39. In the Chinese class, the teacher saw Xiaogang drowsy and said to Xiaogang: "Xiaogang, what is the next sentence of "Three Thousand Beauties in the Harem?" Xiaogang stood up with a red face. After a while, he replied, "An iron rod can also be ground into a needle!" The whole class burst into laughter.

40. A friend from the city went to my hometown to visit. When he saw the sheep dung and eggs on the roadside, he sighed and said, you country people are really wasteful. Aren’t the peanut skins just black? You just scatter them everywhere. ! I laughed and said, that’s because I accidentally cooked it while frying!

41. I had a quarrel with my dad, so I used my grandpa’s mobile phone to call my dad. After the call was connected, hey! Dad, then I replied happily! son. Let’s not talk about the doctor calling my number

42. A friend asked me, who is the boss in your family, your father, your mother, or you? I shook my head. There is no such thing as a boss in my family. He said with envy, "Your family is really democratic. In my family, my mother is the boss and is domineering." I took a sip of water and continued, my mother doesn't allow us to mention the word "老" in front of her, so my father and I usually call her "respected leader".

43. My uncle owned a Tianjing Dafa van he bought in the 1990s and drove it for a long time. Once I drove with him to do errands. I turned left and waited for a red light. When the green light came on, I started to make directions. With great force, the steering wheel fell off and the left turn signal was turned off for a short time. The car behind was furious, but my uncle calmly took the square wheel out of the car window, and the world became quiet in an instant.

44. In class, I secretly kissed the little girl at the same table. The little girl stared at me coldly and said, "Classmate, please be careful." I was stunned! Then he kissed her hard and happily.

45. I went to a fast food restaurant to eat today. The young couple at the next table were showing off their affection. I saw the man had just fed the woman a mouthful of rice. The woman asked my dear, who else have you fed besides me? Be honest. The man thought for a while and said "dog" with sincerity and fear. . . I instantly fell in love with the boy's evil charm and full of cold personality

1. Use ruthlessness to cover up sincerity, use stupidity to cover up wisdom, use surface gentleness to cover up the unruly and unruly in the heart...

2. In fact, I don’t want to have you, I am just attracted by your smile.

3. Men with good tempers are particularly charming.

4. A man is like a coin, with a 1 on the front and a chrysanthemum on the back.

5. If I must die, I will treat darkness as a bride and hold it in my arms.

6. Life is short, take pleasure in the moment, a hundred years is too long for us to seize the day.

7. In life, you either don’t do anything, or you do the best.

8. Rather than saying that I am carefree, it is better to say that you can’t capture my heart.

9. Even if you beat me to death, you haven’t even used a honey trap yet!

10. In the past, brothers were scattered, and fame and fortune have long been in vain. I have loved, hated, and been glorious, and I have no intention of fighting anymore.

11. Although I like her very much, I never tell her because I know that what I can’t get is always the best.

12. I like helping others, especially girls.

13. A man’s eyes can lie

14. The wind is rustling and the water is cold. A strong man beats a dog and it will never come back again

15. Let go Shit, they say it's love. Heard, smelled, but no one saw.

16. I drove my mother on a motorcycle, slammed the accelerator and shouted safety first, but my mother beat me.

17. I don’t love people in general, but I love people in an unusual way.

18. If one million people love me and 100 million people hate me; Will use actions to repay the former and convince the latter!

19. Boss, give me a cool haircut, I want to walk around in style.

20. Women are like clothes, but you have to pay attention. Sometimes women wear underwear, more likely they wear prison clothes.

21. Smoking cigarettes for a lifetime will burn your hands for a lifetime. A lifetime of drinking will lead to a lifetime of ugliness.

22. My ex-girlfriend is a friend. Can I add my ex-boyfriend back as a friend?

23. In the workplace, one should be like Conan, with the domineering attitude of letting others die wherever he goes.

24. Brother, your home is here. No matter what you do, brothers are waiting for you.

25. Brothers are like heaven, and brothers are like earth. Having more brothers can stand up to heaven and earth.

26. Ask your brother how long to do it, and how long to do it if your heart beats.

27. I am here to save all the men in the world. Never fall in love with a shrew.

28. A man with nothing to do, an insignificant love.

29. It’s cold, hold your hand tightly and don’t let any man enter your heart, only me.

30. Why do the best men have to be called extinct good men? Can they still be considered men even if they have no seed?

31. If I become a woman in my next life! I will definitely marry a man like me!

32. When a man has cigarettes and wine, he also has a story.

33. It is said that men are lustful, but in fact women are not that good either. It’s just that men’s lust is more obvious, while women’s lust is more restrained.

34. Women are ruthless, why should men be sentimental?

35. Women are tools to create human beings, but men are human beings who use tools

36. Men , even if you are rebellious and free and easy when you are young, sooner or later you will work hard to become a woman

37. A rich man has a loud voice, while a poor man’s wife has a loud voice.

38. Every successful man has Qvod on his computer.

39. I am here to save all the men in the world. Never fall in love with a shrew.

40. It is difficult to be a human being. It is difficult to be a woman. It is even more difficult to be a man. It is even more difficult to be a good person. It's better to be a kid.

41. Behind a successful man there is always a woman who loves him.

42. Men don’t rely on handsomeness, but all on demeanor.

43. A man can suffer for a lifetime, but he must not suffer for the woman who will be with you for a lifetime.

44. Once a woman becomes ruthless, she is more destructive than a man.

45. There was gold under the man’s knee. I cut off the entire leg and couldn’t even find a piece of copper!

46. A man can risk his life to love a woman, but what can a woman do to love a man?

47. The ancients said: There is gold under a man’s knees, but there is foot hair under my knees.

48. My responsibility is to be the man in front of you.

49. Women should remember that their husband is the man who will not let you suffer.

50. Women should stand behind men. Offer your body at any time.