What is the difference between middle-aged men's affair psychology and men's and women's?

In recent years, the extramarital affairs of middle-aged men are on the rise. This is closely related to the psychological characteristics of middle-aged men. At the age of 40, the ancients called it "the year of no doubt", while the poet compared it to a person entering a "fascinating age" in the long river of life.

These two conclusions just sum up the main characteristics of a mature middle-aged man: basically overcoming the naivety of teenagers and the fanaticism of young people. With the enrichment of experience and the sublimation of knowledge, they have both talent and knowledge, and can judge the times calmly and rationally. This psychological maturity has enabled some of them to make their mark in their careers and direct successful dramas with wonderful performances on the stage of life. Therefore, if the original relationship between husband and wife is not renewed, middle-aged men will enter the stage of emotional confusion. This kind of emotional confusion comes from both men's exterior and men's inner world. Externally, although the age of middle-aged men is not dominant, their career and social status will arouse the envy of women, and their mature social skills and natural demeanor will also attract women's attention. They are not as excited and extreme as young people. Their rough experiences make them sophisticated and understand the psychological characteristics of women. They can behave like real men in their work and life. Maybe they can't catch a woman's heart like young men, but middle-aged men often show their charm more when they contact women. Although it is unintentional, it is a temptation for some women who love to dream. Men's affairs are naturally mainly related to men's unbalanced mentality. Men who marry prematurely are often blind in their judgment of love. When he woke up from his first love in his dream and spent his honeymoon, they really understood women. After the dream love was replaced by the real marriage, many troubles in life were revealed. Some women are naturally fragile and coquettish, but they can't keep home and don't know how to be considerate of their husbands. A good wife should also be a good assistant to her husband's career, but many beautiful young women are not only bad assistants, but also cause many new troubles to her husband. Once the inseparable life comes to an end when you get married, the idol in a man's mind is completely broken. When men are confused, they will put more energy into the outside world, so once they meet a woman who understands them, they may have new emotional entanglements with her. At the same time, we should also see that men looking for an affair are also related to the psychological characteristics of human nature, such as changing their minds and seeking novelty. Men often have a fixed pattern when looking for a date. Men like slim girls before marriage, but they yearn for a rich and plump woman after marriage. Similarly, a man who likes plump women will suddenly become interested in slim women. And some families, because the husband and wife's sexual life is not harmonious, let men find new love. It is not so much a physical need as a psychological boredom with family of origin, which makes men take a dangerous step in life. Men's affairs are mostly caused by changes in social status and economic strength. Because the career of middle-aged men is booming, some people will be emotionally transferred and have an affair with their subordinates, such as female secretaries and clerks. This kind of power event often leads to bad consequences. There are also men who make a fortune in business, who are full of food and lust, and many ten thousand families are ruined and enter the abyss. This is the economic affair. Neither of these things is based on feelings. Most women who have sex with them sell their bodies for the sake of status, power and money. Naturally, it can't last long, but it has a bad influence on society and family. More complicated than these two kinds of affair phenomena is emotional affair. When a middle-aged man falls in love with another woman because of the marital crisis (middle-aged men are favored by young women, and he will feel younger, which is a psychological effect), he may not have a physical relationship with her, but they will be attracted to each other emotionally. But with his own family and children, he can't get rid of the original family bondage and can't dispel his new emotional sustenance for a while, so the problem of this relationship is more complicated to solve. Therefore, I advise married young women that if they want to maintain the integrity of their families, they need to adjust their psychological structure in the decades after marriage. After a girl becomes a wife, she needs to make efforts in three aspects. First, you are women in the new era, not men's mechanical tools. You should welcome the arrival of the second adolescence, keep a fresh appearance and innovative personality. Middle-aged men need a beautiful housewife and a woman who is always attractive to them. Non-contact is a manifestation of self-destruction of youth. Without personality, a woman's charm will eventually be lost. Second, you should change the waywardness of girls and be a housewife. Middle-aged men value a woman, not just her appearance. Western European men often pay attention to family skills when choosing wives. Those who didn't learn it when they were girls, make up this lesson after marriage. Third, a gentle woman is a lovely woman. Women should not be too picky, too sensitive, too grandiose, too pretentious and too vain in the emotional world, which will make men bored. Learning to understand the troubles in a man's life is the greatest consideration for his husband. The art of a wife is to master the degree of control over her husband. Too loose or too strict will lead to the centrifugal force of the husband. The phenomenon of affair is an extremely hidden and complicated problem in men's emotional world. To solve this problem, we not only need legal and moral constraints, but more importantly, we need to find an ideal guiding method through the discussion of human civilization and emotional and psychological problems. Wives have an unshirkable responsibility to solve men's emotional entanglements. Smart women should be clearly aware of the importance of this issue when choosing a spouse, and married young women should read and discuss the existing marriage as a new textbook. Only by psychologically preventing procrastination, allowing men to keep the charm of honeymoon in the emotional world and constantly update their emotional connotation can the flower of love bloom continuously and bear the happy fruit of love. When men and women hear the word "affair", almost everyone thinks of men first. If they are husband and wife, they naturally refer to husbands.

It is generally believed that men have many affairs. In the literary and art circles or athletes, the decisive factor for some lovers to part ways is that the man has an affair. In contrast, there are few examples of breaking up because the woman is having an affair. As we all know, the ratio of men and women having an affair is 3 1, or 5 1. So, why do men have affairs? Especially as husbands, men are more likely to have sex? Men's physical strength is declining. First of all, from the physiological characteristics of men, as mentioned above, men's pleasure begins to awaken from adolescence, and this pleasure actually shows a slow downward trend. Specifically, men's sexual consciousness suddenly awakened from the age of 15. After the age of 65,438+05, almost all men can experience a kind of ecstasy by themselves, and the first sex with the opposite sex, and the pleasure reaches its peak, and men are greatly satisfied both physically and psychologically. Compared with men's first pleasure, women's first sexual experience is accompanied by a lot of anxiety and timidity. Even if the object is a man he likes, it is difficult for a woman to enjoy pleasure. However, with the increase of sex times, women's anxiety and pain gradually disappeared, and at the same time they gradually began to feel sexual pleasure. When the sexual experience accumulates to a certain extent, it finally reaches a climax. Especially for married women, sexual pleasure is further enhanced after pregnancy and childbirth. I have observed a pair of men and women, and found that men have the strongest pleasure when they have sex for the first time, and then the pleasure gradually decreases, showing a downward curve. In contrast, the pleasure that women feel during the first sexual intercourse is extremely weak, but it will gradually strengthen and show an upward curve. How long will the downward curve of male pleasure and the upward curve of female pleasure cross after sexual intercourse? It is an indisputable fact that the situation varies from person to person, but it will always cross at some point. Men's love depends on comparison. There is another reason why men tend to have affairs, which should be called "the plural tendency of men in love". Specifically, a man can turn his eyes to other women while loving a woman. A man can be said to be an affectionate and uncertain animal. At this point, women are completely different. If a woman falls in love with man A at present, she will only see man A in her eyes, and then fall in love with man B by some coincidence. Then, all the previous things about A will be forgotten, and all the thoughts will focus on B. In other words, women's love is concentrated. Compared with women's "all or nothing" approach, men are animals that can fall in love with many women at the same time. Therefore, even if a man says "you are my favorite" to a woman in love, he only says his first favorite word, and others may have a second favorite and a third favorite, so it is not too much to understand. It can be seen that if women's love is called centralization, then men's love can be called comparison. In a word, men don't focus on one thing, they keep looking around and are always interested in new things, so men can be said to be sloppy animals that are prone to having an affair. Of course, there are no same men who are not philandering and are not interested in the women around them; On the contrary, among women, there are also women in easy virtue who constantly look to other men. But these can only be said to be some exceptions and a few. Compared with women, it is an indisputable fact that most men have an affair with the pluralistic tendency of love. And most women who have an affair are floating in the air because they don't really like someone. If they have a man they really like, many women will be down-to-earth unexpectedly. In short, the plural tendency of men in love, coupled with the increase in the number of sex, men's sexual pleasure gradually weakened, which are two major characteristics of men in sex, we can be sure that this is why men are more likely to cheat than women. Men are more likely to "return". This paper analyzes the reasons for her husband's infidelity from both physical and psychological aspects. Many women may have a heartfelt disappointment with their husbands or men when they read this. But even so, wives need not worry too much. Because the reason why men are easy to have an affair described here can also be the reason why men are easy to wake up from an affair. More specifically, it is precisely because of the easy occurrence of an affair that the foundation of the affair is very shallow and it also leaves room for the husband to correct his mistakes. Let's continue to analyze along this line of thought. I wrote at the beginning that when a man's sexual desire is high, it is difficult to suppress it and it is extremely quick-acting. At the same time, once his sexual desire is satisfied, he will immediately show his true colors. Moreover, as mentioned above, men's sex is purely venting sex, and their sexual pleasure will not deepen with the increase of sex times. On the contrary, men's easily bored sexual characteristics make men not last long even if they have an affair. Generally speaking, the possibility that husbands' affairs will end after a period of time is quite high. Coupled with the ambiguity and indecision in a man's personality, even if he wants to spare no effort to love each other from the heart in an affair, he doesn't have the energy. In other words, an animal like a husband is prone to having an affair and cannot be careless. But because men change their minds easily, men's affairs always happen and are in a state of mobility, and the object of an affair will not always be concentrated on one woman. To put it simply, her husband's affair is not as serious as it looks. After a proper period of time, it almost became calm. In this respect, an affair between a husband and a wife is different. When a wife has an affair, she is very different from her husband mentally and physically. Therefore, although wives are not as easy to cheat as husbands, once they cheat, many people are not easy to stop. Of course, this aspect varies from person to person, not that all wives are like this, but there is a general tendency. In a word, her husband's affair is not as serious as it looks, nor is it a serious illness, because most of her husband's affair objects are single women. If men are too entangled, it is also a burden for single women, so many women will leave. Even if this is not the case, many single women are surprisingly sober when dealing with men with families, and some women are even looking for suitable opportunities to break up. To be sure, husband's affairs generally don't get out of control. Especially with children, most husbands' affairs will become calm after a period of time. In this regard, the husband's yearning for children and love for the family are unexpected persistence. Through these phenomena, we can also see that men's sexuality is weakness and fear of loneliness. In short, although the husband may have many affairs, it is easy to return to the original shell. Even if you run away from home and live with other women, the proportion of returning to the family is still high. The wife's affair is just the opposite. Once she runs away from home, it's hard to turn back. Compared with husbands, in fact, the proportion of wives returning to the family after having an affair is very low. So there is no such novel as "Dad is Back", and there is no such novel as "Mom is Back". In this respect, it can be seen that both husband and wife have completely different opinions on the affair. "A New Era of Extramarital Affairs" VS Marriage Taiwan Province writer Ling once had such a joke that marriage, like stock trading, needs short-term operation (three to five years), or sterilization on the same day (one-night stand), or even short selling (playfulness is not serious). If you want to hold shares for a long time and wait for dividends, sooner or later, you will find that the stock in your hand is just like a piece of waste paper. Therefore, Ling joked that 2 1 century will be a "new era of love affairs".

Why get married if everyone can cheat? Without a paper engagement, boys and girls can do whatever they want. At this time, I am afraid that the traditional moral concept has already fallen completely, and the conscience related to it is getting weaker and weaker.

Marriage in the era of extramarital affairs will be valuable without market, which will make modern men and women fall into the strange circle of gender relations. Marriage system is a legal constraint imposed by human beings to ensure racial reproduction and social stability. Monogamy is recognized as the most civilized marriage system in history. If marriage is rejected, the history of human civilization will undoubtedly return to the wild era of mixed social life. If we want to maintain our marriage without damaging our naive love for new things and our aversion to old things, what about polygamy or polyandry? Only when men are satisfied, women will rise up and resist; Just to satisfy women, men regard it as a great shame. If the two sexes enjoy equal treatment, the world will not become a "paradise" on fire, and all men and women in the world will rise and fall in the sinful Garden of Eden. The final result is that human beings have lost their sense of shame, and the devastating disaster of civilization may not be far away.

. The modern love slogan of "not seeking eternity, but seeking once" encourages people to easily combine and betray. However, after experiencing the sexual liberation in the 1960s and the hippie style in the 1970s, in the United States, which has always been famous for its openness and freedom, in the 1990s, thousands of male compatriots from all walks of life gathered together voluntarily and tearfully vowed to be "watchmen" of love and marriage. Americans have always been at the forefront of the world by abandoning the old and establishing the new. However, more and more people finally feel that they have lost something, so they look for it from tradition.

Legend has it that when God created man, he dug Adam out of the mud first, but the free Adam was not happy. In order to make him no longer lonely, God made Eve out of a rib of Adam. From then on, Adam and Eve lived happily between heaven and earth, loving each other and being loyal to each other, thus giving birth to endless human beings.

Legend is a legend, but it has been passed down to this day and represents the eternal and beautiful ideal of mankind. What Americans are looking for may be what men and women have lost in the new era, which stems from our deep-seated needs. Men and women once loved each other, but they should still be single-minded and faithful, and the voice of keeping their vows will surely come from more and more people.

(Quote: Marriage in the era of extramarital affairs will be valuable without a market, which will make modern men and women fall into the strange circle of sexual relations. Although both men and women have the possibility of cheating, they have different mentality when cheating because of their different sexes. My wife's mentality when she cheated is as follows: (1) Emotional psychology. After marriage, children and family account for a large proportion of women's psychology, and the husband's enthusiasm for his wife will be weakened, which will make his wife feel lost. At this time, if you meet a person of the opposite sex who can make her happy, you will throw yourself into each other's arms. (2) Empathy. Nowadays, women like to dress up to show their beauty and youth. If a woman finds that her husband is inferior to other men in many aspects, she will have regrets. Once there are new opportunities in social situations, they will not be easily missed, resulting in an affair. (3) Psychological changes in mate selection. Girls pay attention to appearance, while young women pay attention to men's talent and social status. Especially young women who have excessive desire for material things are more vulnerable to the "sugar-coated shells". Women's "affair" after marriage, in addition to all kinds of temptations from the outside world, more importantly, their psychology has changed. When they are a "third party", it is not entirely sexual attraction, but more importantly, emotional needs. They can love their lover and husband at the same time, because they play the role of mother and wife, and they can't resist the traditional concept of "one woman doesn't marry two husbands". They want to jump out of the family, but they have to return to reality and fall into the dilemma of emotional contradictions. Most men have an affair in their teens. Men of this age have talent, knowledge, status, natural and unrestrained manners, experience in dealing with the world, understand women's psychological characteristics and can please women. Husband's psychology of having an affair is as follows: (1) Not satisfied. When he has a spoiled wife, he thinks she doesn't know how to do housework like someone. When he has a wife who looks like a fairy, he thinks she is not his assistant in his career. At this time, if you meet a woman who can understand him, the psychological defense will collapse and you will have feelings with the second "her". (2) Pursuing novelty. I have a slim wife at home, but I envy other people's plump wives. I have a fat wife at home, but I am interested in slim ladies. When the wife's posture can't satisfy her wishes, she turns her eyes outside the family. (3) Sexual life is not harmonious. While they are not satisfied physically, they also have psychological dissatisfaction or even disgust with their families, which makes them take a dangerous step on the emotional road. (4) It is related to social status and economic strength. Some women sell their bodies for the desire of status, power and money, which leads to "power events" and "economic events" for men. Women's reasons 1: Women originally wanted to find happiness and care in their marriage life. They can play the roles of chef, nanny and lover for this little love, but the final result can only be disappointment. When a man proposed on one knee, who saw it? Even if he only watches it for a few seconds, a woman will pay for this gentleness all her life. If I were a man, I would get married. After all, married life has given men too many benefits. Women, on the other hand, not only lost everything they once had, but also exhausted the little romance left in their hearts, so women might as well just fall in love and not get married. Reason 2: After 3 months of crazy love, they will never remember to give you a gift. Once he realizes that you are "one of our own", he will become more and more forgetful and forget all the things that are important to you: your birthday, your wedding anniversary. Unless he was a virgin when he slept with you, his first night was no clearer than the "one-stop" in the poker game two years ago. Reason 3: You should always understand him. He never needs to explain. Women are not immortals, and no matter how considerate they are, they can't be considerate of everything. But men put special emphasis on understanding. They will suddenly ignore you when they come home happily, suddenly put down their chopsticks and go back to sleep when they eat, and suddenly go to the lounge to smoke when they promise to accompany you shopping. You can never expect them to tell you why. In fact, the answer is simple: you didn't hand him slippers first when you came into the house to change your shoes, and he put his favorite pepper in the cooking. The money in his pocket is not enough to buy the clothes you like. Reason 4: Women should get married twice. Are you a woman? If it's a woman, get married twice. Because the first marriage is to love men, and the second marriage is to love life. Reason 5: Wherever a man's "sex" goes, a woman will make a commitment to herself. I don't know if all men are unusually enthusiastic about sex. At least in the sexual intercourse I have seen, sex is almost always placed in an important position by men without exception. When they are desperate to have sex with you, women are either obedient or immediately cater to them with interest. Once they show burnout, they will inevitably resent it, and then try their best to find opportunities for revenge. Of course, some men will pretend to be very attentive and take you to the hospital for a physical examination. In fact, they want to humiliate you by consulting apathy. Reason 6: Men always ask women to be like this, but they never are like this. It is not a problem, but it is definitely a habit. He didn't even pour you a cup of hot water when you were sick, but when he came home, he naturally handed you a cup of hot tea. He can chat with his buddies, have tea and take a bath after work, but you must go home early to welcome him back. He hasn't said a word to you all day. If you chat with your girlfriend on the phone, you will attract his contempt and disdain. Of course, if the other end of the phone is the opposite sex, it will be even more troublesome. Although he doesn't show jealousy, you are on pins and needles. Trim the dialogue short and plain, and then look at his face carefully. Reason 7: A man's responsibility is to avoid responsibility and enjoy the responsibility undertaken by a woman. Men sometimes behave shamelessly. Although most of them claim that they are on the verge of serious emotional crisis or marriage breakdown, they still won't give up the delicious dinner prepared by their wives for them, not to mention every date with their lovers. Reason 8: Men are Sagittarius, the upper body is human and the lower body is animal, so they behave like people and animals. As for women, they are human before marriage and beasts after marriage. Before marriage, men are very gentle. They know how to tidy themselves up and down, when to kiss lightly and when to kiss warmly, and how to wait for them with sweet words. At that time, they were absolute men, and occasionally being wild would only make women feel more needed. But after marriage, I don't know how to change my shirt once a week. Ties and socks are everywhere. When I want you, I will go straight to the point. I don't even look at you when I don't want to. It's like living with an orangutan. Reason 9: Men are always old. Have you ever read a story? An old man and a young man were looking at a beautiful girl in the street, but the young man was shy and the old man looked as usual. So the young man asked the old man, don't you blush when you stare at other girls? The old man smiled and said, "How beautiful they are!" The young man seems to have realized something and his face is not red. Men are always like this. They always think it's natural to like beautiful girls. They are all beauty connoisseurs themselves, so no matter how ugly and fat the man in the mirror is, he has the right to appreciate beauty. The question is whether you dare to read it, whether you just read it, and whether you want something else after reading it. Reason 10: Men's desires are too many and complicated for a woman to satisfy. Every man wants to be Wei Xiaobao in Duke of Lushan. He has seven wives to sleep with, and all of them are beautiful, literate and martial, and know how to be warm and cold. If the marriage law does not allow it, then two roses, a red rose and a white rose. After all, it is more common that Zhu Shazhi and I have such a bright line at the foot of the bed. Do you know why Panasonic's electric shavers sell so well in Hong Kong and Taiwan? Look at its advertising words: every successful man should have at least two ... one by his side and one at home. Thousands of men are smiling behind thousands of razors. Who do they think they are? Reason 1 1: Men are like miracles. They never know where to go when you need them, but when you miss someone, they are always there. A few decades ago, a woman said that a man is like a sofa in the living room. Without it, he will always be ugly. However, if you are tired and can't sit on this sofa, and you can't rely on it when you are tired, it will be ugly when people come, so let your friends sympathize with you behind your back. I don't know what to do with him. Wouldn't it be more troublesome to move? Women are looking for the last limit of an affair. On one occasion, she chatted with several young women who had been married for more than four years. When chatting, she talked about marriage and men, and felt sad that her man no longer wanted to have sex with his wife. At this time, a woman who is usually most satisfied with her husband said, hey, do you want to have an affair? We haven't recovered from listening for a long time, but our hearts suddenly itch. Nowadays, the vocabulary about affair has flooded, and women all over the world seem to be busy having an affair, which can be seen from the rising authority figures. But women's affairs are essentially different from men's, and men's upper and lower bodies can be seen separately. Even if you don't like it, you will be entangled for some reason. Women need a little "feeling" to meet. This is destined to be more tired than men, and their ambiguity has a bottom line. And to what extent does this bottom line fluctuate and wander? Is it mental or physical? Or something else? Further reading: A caring citizen who fell into the arms of an extramarital affair cheated an American wife's secret life. One of the views on affair: finding a subtle perfection between husband and another man. First of all, I am not a moral guardian, so for me, the bottom line of an affair is that both sides benefit and no one makes trouble. To put it bluntly, I just don't expect the other party to divorce, and I don't allow the other party to give me pressure. No matter how much you like it. I believe that quite a few women cheat not because life is really unbearable (divorce is not possible), but because they feel that they are incomplete and may be like men. The difference is that men are not so strict about affairs. Women can't. She must "stand out" to become a lover. My man is also very good, but he is not as careful as before and has no more passion. Only days, almost every day makes people almost have no desire to talk. More often, you will feel that he is your own shadow, your brother and sister, and a habit of life. The time of making love began to be regular and the interval became longer and longer. At this time, women also began to feel uneasy. At this time, it's really exciting for a woman to have a chat with someone of the opposite sex who is interested in herself. Generally speaking, a woman's affair is a psychological affirmation. What disappeared in the husband's place was found in the lover's place. This is a delicate balance. We are all mortal, and we all have only one life. As long as the other party in the marriage doesn't know, everyone will have no burden if they are not injured, and they will love the people around them. For a woman who demands perfection, this is a kind of relative perfection. About the affair: the wife supported the "affair" experience of three women in the family by having an affair. Viewpoint 2: Only an affair without physical betrayal is easy. I am not an active practitioner of an affair. I believe that there is also beautiful love in the feelings of extramarital affairs. It's just that people around you will treat you like a dog and a person. In China, a country that has been inheriting Confucian culture, women's affairs are particularly important. To be honest, I don't like the feeling of having an affair. It's dark and I can't see the light of love. Really tired. If one day I fall in love with an extramarital man, I will divorce, even if I can only be his lover. I don't want my husband to forgive me and live with me carefully again. That's unfair to him. If I have to choose one, I'd rather choose a spiritual affair, which will make me feel less guilty. In fact, my thoughts also represent the views of at least half of women. In the final analysis, women can't afford to play, so once an affair is banned, women who have no physical betrayal will have less pressure when they return. The third view: love is the biggest bottom line ... >>& gt In fact, every woman needs a lover. I was born in the 1970s, and I don't have much sense of morality and guilt. For me, love is the biggest bottom line. In the final analysis, an affair is not something that can be met by chance, but also requires fate. Otherwise, how can I impress you and let you "splash" it in again? And women are born to love's. Without love, living is meaningless. Love is a woman's weakness. When she loves, she knows nothing. So far, many plays have killed their husbands for an adulterer. Pan Jinlian is a living example. But can you say that this is not a kind of love (just extreme), or what force makes a helpless little girl wipe her husband? In a long marriage, who can guarantee to love only one other? A woman who is too affectionate is not suitable for having an affair. Maybe she will cross the limit and make an earth-shattering bloody event. What I want to say is: woman, don't forget to jump into the ocean of romance and get less hurt. Related links: The poor woman who lusted after the love of two men experienced a "non-standard affair". Viewpoint 4: A woman's affair should ensure an unimpeded way home. If things are too big, it is difficult to clean up the mess. I take a wait-and-see attitude towards this matter. Actually, I'm serious, too. It's not fun if I'm not serious. Of course, this view is only valid for rational women. My husband and I both have our own lovers. Just tacitly. Because I've been married for ten years, I'm really tired, but I can't get a divorce. It's too expensive. Because my son is in the third grade of primary school. We all love him. In our city, there are some well-educated middle-aged couples. Some of them advocate "changing wives for husbands", thinking it is safer, but there will be no affair. As far as I am concerned, I can't accept this kind of game. So I chose to have an affair. I met him online. He's an engineer. His family is also very happy in normal times. When we first met, I had a feeling that there would be a story between him and me. Sure enough, our custom has developed smoothly, with that kind of custom. This is a charming feeling. We meet once a week, and we are together.