2020 network humor section

1. I broke up with my partner to save traffic! 2. The world is so high and so low-key.

3. When you get married in the snow, Solanum nigrum falls in love with Panya, so you should be good.

No matter how powerful a schoolmaster is, he can't compete with cheating scum.

I didn't elope. You think I don't know? The abbreviation of elopement is SB.

Hearing the news of your marriage, I have been insomnia at this moment, and I can finally sleep in peace.

7. Infinite ditty, infinite Hey, how comfortable you are.

8. If I spend my time and enthusiasm chasing you on learning to bully you, you will only be a scum.

9. Every time I do my homework late, two little people will appear in my mind. One said forget it, and the other said good, good, good, good.

10. The intensity of loving you is higher than that of standing in front of the router.

1 1. I planted a bunch of boyfriends in spring, and now it's autumn. Oh, nothing.

12. I laugh at the sky and then I sleep!

13. What girls need now is not a prince, but a male god who can assist mathematics.

14. I am not a foodie. Please call me god of food.

15. Someone got married today, but it's a pity that it wasn't you on the stereo.

16. Even if others wrap zongzi, we should dress ourselves up as cones!

17. Local tyrants have another meaning: wild terrapin.

18. Dear, thank you for accompanying me to harm people.

19. My relationship with Ma Ma is bad enough, and the class teacher doesn't forget to come and light a fire!

20. The principals almost understood. Don't be too divorced from the masses in the exam.

2 1. All rich children in Korean dramas have a disease that they must fall in love with poor girls.

22. We want to live in ipartment, and the school we want to go to is the ultimate class!

23. It is because Lu Xun always asks DuDu to cook in the middle of the night that people are not tall.

24. The female man plays Loli and sells the tender heart of the cute man.

25. The sister paper with bad geography shines brilliantly, and the sister paper with bad geography still travels all over the world!

26. Women's sisters are not called sisters and brothers.

27. I don't care that you have money, I only care that you have money.

28. When a beautiful woman is constipated, there is nothing wrong with ordinary people. It's a little broken, but it's someone else's voice.

29. No matter how perfect the figure is, it is also a teasing material in the eyes of people who don't love her.

30. A small tree can't grow without pruning; Children can't grow up without pruning.

3 1. Long-term accumulation may lead to an outbreak; And a long-term outbreak may lead to collapse.

32. Respect the superior, bully the inferior, and hide from the peers.

33. No matter how difficult it is, consider yourself 250. No matter how hard it is, think of yourself as a two-faced person.

34. You said you were wearing a hat with your head backward.

35. The bombarded head was also combed by lightning.

36. I don't stutter when I see many people, and it doesn't taste like sheep dung. Please forgive me.

37. Geographically, pediatrics knows Yin and Yang gossip and makes decisions thousands of miles away.

38. I have finished half of my goal of becoming a local tyrant. At present, I am very rustic.

39. When your hair reaches your waist, I'll open the double knives and take them away horizontally!

40. I'm going to expose my scum identity in front of the whole class.

Selected 20xx network humorous sketches

1. I want a stable score that can resist the cruelty of exams and have a home among piles of schoolmasters.

Tell me if you want to smoke in the future, and I will kiss you!

Every woman is looking for a manly man, and it turns out that the most manly one is herself.

Every exam is given by my grandson and invigilated by my son. I can't!

When others are pretending to be forced, I like to watch silently and expose it, which is boring.

6. Yingdao, put down your bangs and trust me, you can catch up with Che Enshang, too!

7. Jimmy Lin said with emotion: If we are not crazy, we will grow old. Degang Guo teased: We are crazy if you are not old!

8. If you are lovelorn, buy a bottle of Sprite, because it is cold.

9. It doesn't matter if I can't celebrate Singles Day, as long as the person I like also celebrates Singles Day.

10. I used to be very thin, and I will be very thin in the future, so my life is still incomplete after being fat for several years.

2020 network quotations

1, when I am cruel, I am doomed not to be soft-hearted.

2. The generation gap means that when I say you are teasing, you think I am scolding you.

3. The older you get, the more troubles you have. 1G's heart is full of 2G troubles.

4. No matter how beautiful a man is, he is still a waste without ability.

My goal in life is to haunt you, haunt you, haunt you.

6. You are more talented than me, so you have two more.

As far as I'm concerned, I won't give anything that belongs to you to others.

I gave him to you, you have no right to show off to me.

9. Your mother gave birth to a piece of garbage like you.

10, don't procrastinate in front of me, I thought I procrastinated more than you.

1 1. The road is uneven, so leave in a hubbub.

12, the feeling of a madman is only known to those who are crazy with him.

13, don't treat your coquettish face like a bitch.

14, girlfriends first, couples first, parents unparalleled.

15, I have to fight with the bed every day, and I usually lose.

16, there are no ugly women, only women who can't take selfies and beautiful pictures.

17, the man is a pig, who wants to bring it home!

18, who do you think you are? The time to love you is over.

19, I want you to regret what you did and pay the price.

20, the sky is gray, the eyes are dim, and the days without money are too long!

2 1, it turns out that Yi's life is worth so little money.

22. Since there are many beautiful women, there are obviously not enough ugly women.

If your boyfriend ignores you, you can show it to him alone.

24. I am willing to exchange a red bean for your whole acacia universe.

25. I will go straight ahead, but I won't look back!

26. Nobody cares, and there is no need to care more than the world.

27, eating jelly and drinking refreshing is the happiest thing.

28. Don't underestimate me or overestimate yourself.

29. Are you tired? Just tired. Comfort is for the dead.

30, don't give me a discharge, because I have a caller ID here.

3 1, you are my aulacese, one cup after another.

I'm not too weak to stand up forever.

33. Whether two people are familiar with each other depends on the obscene degree of chatting.

We'll return the slap you got for nothing.

35. A person can live a good life in the future.

36, the equivalent of life, there is no distinction between high and low.

37. I am not a casual person. I'm not just anyone.

Brother, we will cross the country together, and you will be the throne.

39. What is love? Love is either lust, caution or diamond ring.

40. I am willing to exchange my scorpion heart for your panic.

4 1, if you want to fight, I will fight! I have a line of fire. I'm stupid.

42. The world is so big, I feel so unlucky to know you.

43. If you can chew up your feelings and swallow them, you are the king.

44. Blue confidante is sometimes warmer than red confidante.

45. Dig up five cockroaches that Athena Saint couldn't kill.

46. In this society, there is no right or wrong, only strength.

47. Those who love me, please continue. People who hate me, don't give up

48. You don't know what dependence is until you lose your belt.

49. There's one of the worst dishes in the world, and that's firing.

50. Be sure to marry a girl with flesh and blood. I love the fat goddess.

5 1. Who hasn't met two scum when he was young?

52. There are more shameless times, which is called excellent psychological quality.

You can have everything in this era, but you can't have a face.

54. Draw a circle and curse you. Don't leave me in this life.

55. Save water. Can I take a shower with my girlfriend?

56. I want to hold your hand and make you gentle all your life.

57. Don't think that you are a young artist with a stupid wig.

To tell the truth, I haven't met an ex who has a better life than me.

59. Girls don't pick up what others take. It's dirty

60. I tell you as a mistress that I don't love you anymore.

6 1, I'm not perfect, but I can definitely make your eyes shine.

62. I even quit spicy food, so what can I stand?

63. Do you feel jumping like QQ login?

64. When you are young, don't let yourself appear precocious.

65. Even if everyone leaves me. The sky will not fall.

On Teacher's Day, we discussed going to the teacher's office to burn paper money.

67. Happy days: Go to bed when you are full.

68. Those who dare not subvert are secular. Who's that? be

69. What I want, only you have in the world.

70. A hundred acquaintances can't compare with the joy brought by a best friend.

7 1. Without you, the sky I see is still blue.

72. Ha, there are five big characters flying in the sky, which is nothing.

73. I am not beautiful, but I may not be able to value you.

74. If you talk too much, you will be more reluctant-

75, help others to the end, send Buddha to the west, hooligans flow to bed.

76. What if I had the whole world without you?

In this summer, only mosquitoes never leave me.

78, the same father, he said he cheated, I said I bought my father.

Every single girls has an invisible boyfriend.

80. The saddest thing is that your class teacher failed in the subjects he taught.

8 1, I will keep changing until you go blind.

82. Don't talk to me about sincerity. . You are no longer qualified. .

83, commitment, for labor and capital, is really a fucking cloud.

Maybe it's because I'm too young to know what a treasure is.

85. Are you used to the man I trained myself?

You have been in high spirits since you got mental illness.

I don't need others to love me. I love myself more than anyone.

88. People cannot be resurrected after death, but Xiao Qiang can be reborn after death.

89. If you don't dress up, you are uglier than a ghost. If you dress up, you will be paralyzed.

90. You are young and kind. What are you afraid of not being loved?

9 1, many things don't need to be wrangled, seemingly obedient, secretly resisting.

Mean is a universal truth, and you and I are just one of them.

They say I look like Chow Yun Fat, but I look like Andy Lau.

94. Don't talk to my sister about feelings. I don't want to talk to you.

95. The doctor told me to do photosynthesis and not to stay up late.

96. I like Ollie very much, especially your wireless Wi-Fi braid.

97. It doesn't matter whether it is there or not. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday.

Since the holidays. I don't know what day it is every day.

99. Even if my love is cheap, you don't deserve it.

100, do you want to take a month off for activities like National Day?

10 1, fearless smile, just for the bright and gloomy sky.

102, I like to see that you don't like me, but I can't.

103, it is coquetry for a girl to hit a boy, and it is an asshole for a boy to hit a girl.

104. Looking horizontally, the charming side is chic and elegant in the distance.

105, my focus is on myself, and no one wants me to move.

106, those boring promises, keep them to yourself and speak slowly.

107, I am neither bad nor particularly outstanding, but I dare to be different.

108, the only thing I have in common with the rich second generation is two things.

109, I would rather leave with a smile than cry and regret.

1 10, I'm not a piano! Please don't play with my feelings!

1 1 1. Don't challenge the speed of my coma with your impudence.

1 12, the advertisement of melatonin came out again, and the brain-dead people were saved.

1 13, that's enough. Go away. I don't need hypocrisy.

1 14, if you ask how much Russia loves you, ask Mrs. White Snake.

1 15, I'd rather party alone than party alone.

1 16, time can tear any relationship to you.

1 17, will those who don't want to accompany me to the end leave early?

1 18, don't take my respect for you as your presumptuous capital.

1 19, I really don't understand why I hanged myself when I was a child.

120, it is not easy to wait, but it is so easy to get hurt.

Review of the 2020 Network

1, I believe I love you. Still. All the time. Forever.

Fate is unpredictable, and we have no way of knowing what will happen in the next moment.

There is so much warmth in my life that I gave it all to you, but you left me. How to smile at others in the future?

4. Those who say they will never part have already been scattered all over the world.

5, no desire can only be said to be insensitive.

6. I may be a bird. Full of vigilance, it is not easy to stay. So I've been flying.

7. Will the love carved on the back of the chair, like flowers on cement, open a windless and lonely forest?

8. There is no happiness when you laugh, no tears when you cry, and no commitment when you write.

9. Maybe love is just because of loneliness. Need someone to love. Even if there is no ending.

10, men don't love women. They just need women.

1 1, we are always parting, such as with relatives, with injuries, and even with time. ...

12, I smile. Whenever I am sad or happy, I only smile.

Anything can be replaced. Love, past events, memories, disappointment, time … can all be replaced. But you can't help yourself.

14, if you have ever been happy. Happiness is just a momentary fragment, a short segment.

15, fingers will not move, tears will not flow, and time will not go.

16, those beautiful little fish, they sleep with their eyes open. Don't need love, and never cry. They are my role models.

17, loneliness is doomed to go for a lifetime from the beginning.

18, blue is a disease of the sky. ...

19, we can be disappointed, but not blindly.

20. In this world, all people with true temperament always have different ideas.

2 1, I always thought I would get used to the lost time and the past. No matter where you are or who you meet. How to end it.

22. Happiness is always full of defects.

23, but happiness is too simple, so it is easy to break.

24. I never deceive myself. I only see the truth.

25. Smart women deserve sympathy.

Sometimes I want to ask a stranger if he can take me away. I've always had this hidden motive in my heart.

27. Many things that we thought we would never forget for a lifetime were forgotten by us in the days when we never forget them.

28. I know I am not a good recorder, but I like to look back on the road I have traveled more than anyone else. I not only looked back, but also rushed forward angrily.

29. If you give me a tear, I will see all the oceans in your heart.

30. Broken-hearted love is true, only happiness is false. The man who once thought it would take a full moon ... love is just a game set by fate.

3 1, my world is silent and there is no room for others.

32. Women like me always appear in feelings in the form of problems.

33. Things that we thought we would never forget were forgotten in the process of our obsession.

34. If one day we are not together, we should be together.

35. Some things haven't finished yet, so forget it. Everyone is a king, dominating in his own world. You don't listen to me, but you don't want me to listen to you either.

12 Next Page

Internet market in 2020

1. Last year, even monks traded stocks. This year, stock speculators became monks.

2. The teacher didn't speak in the middle of class, indicating that some students died.

3. You never turned your back. Why should I gamble on my happiness?

Take courage to face it, don't gamble if you are afraid of losing, and don't fall in love if you are afraid of being dumped.

5, the tree has no skin and will die! People have no face and the world is invincible! That means you!

6. Always remember that you are a lady and then fight like a man.

7. Although you are my Youlemei, the trash can is your final destination.

8. Who says being short is bad? Don't talk to me with your head down if you dare.

9. Get out of my world with your pity and ridicule.

10, many eyes look too shallow and too close, and miss me without being seen.

1 1. I want to go home when I go to school, and then I think about school when I go home.

12, being my girlfriend has spicy strips to eat every day, right! Happiness is that simple.

13, cancel the special attention to him and let his full name roll back to the public group.

14, gorgeous appearance is rough inside. . But roughness is gorgeous. . .

15. I dreamed that I was dead yesterday, and I seemed very happy. . .

16, those who can't unscrew the bottle cap are married, and those who can unscrew are still screwing themselves.

17, I don't know much about music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.

18, love is like protection money. If you don't fight for it, do you have to wait for someone else to deliver it?

19. After watching You from the Stars, I know that boyfriends are better than aliens.

20. What I give may not be all you want, but it must be all I have.

2 1, just one word, I'm only going to say it once, I'm afraid the people who heard it won't disappear.

22. Life is like fighting the landlord. One is a gang and the other is an enemy.

God bless me to do well in the exam, and I will honor you with a lollipop every day.

24, cosmetics for women, is self-confidence; For men, this is an illusion.

25. Good-looking people have youth, and we only have universities.

26, women are books, men are pigs, never expect pigs to read! ! !

27. I chewed when I liked you, so I can't stop liking you.

28. Remember that you don't cherish it now and don't want me to come back after I leave.

Girl, please put your face in your pocket. I'm afraid I'll step on it when I settle down.

30. The world is so big, I can still see you at a glance. How fat you are.

3 1, what is the biggest shame in life? Cheating failed!

32. Save my fart and donate it to people who are dissatisfied with me.

If you are a hypocrite, don't say sorry to me. Getting out is the best apology.

I wish those who don't love me no watermelon and mango ice cream this summer.

35. I will give you love that Baidu can't find and happiness that Thunder can't download.

36. Be rational when you have no money, and lose your mind when you spend money.

I hate people like that, so I won't do that anyway.

38. Rich people hold a money field, and those who have no money go home and get some money to hold a money field.

39. My hairstyle is meatballs during the day and Lei Zhenzi when I wake up!

40, homosexuality is nothing strange, everyone around me is in Japan.

4 1, are you still dreaming? Are you still in pain? How can you remember so much?

42. Every time I take an exam, the average score of the whole class will be in my hands.

I said I didn't love you, just like you said you loved me. It was all a lie.

44. Don't pretend to be pathetic. In fact, I can play better than you, but I don't care about pretending to be like you.

45. You washed the pots, bowls and dirty clothes.

I was in pain when you left. I am the only person who smells fart in the future.

47. I think I look good everywhere. Why not?

48. When you interfere in my affairs, you should first consider what you are.

49. I often look at myself in the mirror, sometimes I feel ugly, and then I am tired of beauty!

50. If you can't do it for a long time, shut the fuck up and swear less nonsense to fool me.

5 1. When we get married, we tattoo a ring on our finger, and whoever divorces first will cut off his finger.

Your future depends on your dreams now, so go to sleep.

53. I have always been bitter and eccentric, and even you can't make me compromise.

54. The meat that grows on the chest instead of the face is sensible meat!

Don't think that some white lies are really white.

56. Don't wait for me to slap you to know how to sew your mouth!

I thought I was decadent, and I didn't know that my morning paper was scrapped until today.

58. The man who seduced me. I just think of you as an old bitch in spring.

59. The moment I bow to you, the day you kneel to me!

Teacher, don't bother to change my deskmate. I can talk to anyone.

6 1, you are such a common name, but it affects so many emotions.

I have never forgotten you, but I can't remember what kind of face you have.

63. Look down on my shoe buyer today. Be careful to flash your tongue today.

64. Teachers always like to say: Students, please look at me. ..

65. The Three Musketeers must be strong, and they are doomed to the end of the prophecy at the moment they are tempted.

I never wanted to let go of loving you, but you never gave me a chance.

What can I say? There are still a few people who have a secret crush on me, and I know it.

68. There is always a harmonious scene when you study by yourself early.

69. You don't know the value of Friday afternoon unless you experience the crash on Monday morning.

70. From now on, we will walk together, and we will have delicate ideas together.

7 1, sweet, fragrant, spicy, sour and bitter, but you just like coquettish.

72. Don't say sorry to me, because I'm not sure it's okay to tell you with a smile.

73. The biggest helplessness in life is: why does the hair style blow to the right and the wind blow to the left! !

Ladies and gentlemen, please chat with your parents in person. Thank you.

75. Don't think I don't know. You already told my parents.

76. Whenever the teacher asks questions, I will bend my head to pick up things and persist for many years.

77. If the road is rough, shout, if it's time to shoot, it's time to shoot.

78. I won't regret the decision I made, even if I put the knife rest around my neck!

79. Never hang yourself from a tree. You can try it several times in the surrounding trees.

80. If I don't like you, it doesn't matter to me that you sleep with all the women in the street.

8 1, look into my eyes, besides shit, you will see perseverance and sincerity.

82. Now I feel that it is a waste of resources not to go out the next day after washing.

83. Some people said I was ugly, but I smiled. You've never met my friend.

God, I always thought of you as my grandfather. You have never taken care of your grandson.

85. Today is Tanabata. Let's go out and have a look. Break up a couple is a couple!

86. When I saw your expression, I felt that your parents were not serious when they made you!

87. Don't envy what others have. It is better to be honest with yourself.

88. When I saw your expression, I felt that your parents were not serious when they made you.

89. My selfishness is a terminal illness that I discovered many years ago. If I can't cure it, I'll just be dissolute.

90. Give me a test paper about you, and I'll tell you what learning to bully is.

At 9 1, a zoo worker left, and the tablet said: The bear came out and didn't pay attention.

92. Love is not allowed in school. Teachers are divorced! We observed the side effects.

93. No, if there are no regrets, no fresh start, no love, etc.

94. Watching classes at Qingguo College is like chewing a drama, and you can't stop.

With so many thugs recently, I don't think it's necessary to hide my identity.

96. Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing it.

97. You are like love in the palm of your hand. If you close your palm, you will be surprised that you are not choking.

98. I am a wonderful person, why should I run into other people's lives as an episode?

99. Don't blame others for being cold to you. You are nothing in other people's hearts.

100, girls who love to laugh are generally not too bad luck, but their grades are generally not good.

10 1, Sun Tzu's Art of War by Hu, Spring and Autumn Annals by Lu and Performance by Tang, Guangu's inference of Xiandi's conjecture.

102, I remembered the vague sky in my memory. At that time, you said you would hold hands with me.

103, wife, I am willing to make breakfast for you every day. You slept too much!

104, my tears are always the brightest, but you devalued them.

105, uncle, take care of your daughter-in-law and don't let her run out in class.

106, the more I like a person, the more I think he is ugly. The uglier he is, the more he likes it.

107, goods have a shelf life, and people are sometimes tired of watching them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

108, there is no free lunch, so I usually sleep until the afternoon.

109, every time I get a new book at the beginning of school, I feel like I'm having a private book signing.

1 10, I hate it when you say you miss me but do nothing.

1 1 1. Growing up, the only thing I could put down was chopsticks.

1 12 the first ray of sunshine in the morning spilled on my ass, and my mood suddenly became excited.

1 13, at the age of teenage flowers, you grow into a succulent plant.

1 14, you said you were awesome, so how many people did you kill in the morgue?

1 15, for those who miss me, I can only send them three words: blind!

1 16. The world is too chaotic now. Do it if you don't accept it. If you are poor, you have to eat.

1 17, I said I am not a woman, I only smell of sweat, not feminine.

1 18, have you been single for long? I saw a sow with beautiful eyes recently.

1 19, it's hard to love one person, it's fun to love two people, and it's over to love three people.

120, we are old without boasting, and we are young and beautiful in just a few years.