Helping you is my virtue, but using it to "kidnap" me is your vice.

Previously, a "seat-giving dispute" on a high-speed train made the word "seat-giving" a hot topic.

On the high-speed train, woman A saw that woman B had difficulty raising a baby, so she took the initiative to give up her seat to woman B, and went out for a walk for 2 hours.

When the bus became more and more crowded, Woman A had no choice but to return to her seat. Woman B, instead of taking the initiative to say thank you, felt that this was what she should do. Woman A suddenly felt unhappy.

Later, when Woman A went to the toilet, she lifted up the table board with force and almost caught Woman B's child's finger, which intensified the conflict and ended with a fight between the two parties.

Both parties seem to have reasons for "should". Woman A thinks that if I give up my seat, you should say thank you. Woman B thinks that if you are not in the seat, the seat should be given to my child.

What exactly should be done?

As soon as we were born, the word "should" has been with us, or in other words, we have grown up wrapped in this word.

When you were a child, your mother said that you "should" wear long johns, otherwise you would be very cold.

When I went to school, the teacher said that you "should" study hard in order to become a useful person to society.

Now that you are working, your dad said that you "should" find a stable job and live a good life.

A few years later, your mother said again that you "should" get married. If you don't get married, you won't be able to get married (you won't be able to get a wife).

A few years later, your father said again that you should have a child, and your mother and I wanted to have grandchildren.

At first you were disgusted with this word, but after your child was born, the word "should" seemed to become instantly familiar, and you began to use this sentence pattern that you once hated so much in your sentences. It's easy to use on kids.

Speaking of this, it reminds me of something my wife told me:

Because my daughter takes a dance class every weekend, one of the children’s mother, every time she comes When I go there, I will bring some snacks.

During recess, she would give her daughter some snacks and give some to another child.

One time, the mother who brought snacks was unable to come because her father brought the child. Because the father did not know the other child, he did not give the child snacks to the other child. A child.

Guess what happened? The child who didn’t get the snack came over and asked his daughter why he didn’t get the snack.

Many times, we always feel that many things should be taken for granted, so we are justified. We all live in a world of "should".

When it comes to giving up your seat, you have to mention the elderly. In the news, many old people cursed and even fought because young people did not give up their seats to them.

It was once reported on the Internet that an old woman got on the bus with her grandson. There was only one seat left in the car. The old woman asked her 17-year-old grandson to sit there, while she forced the 20-year-old young man next door to give up his seat. He also sarcastically said: "Today's young people have read books in vain and don't know how to give up their seats to the elderly." As a result, the young people retorted: "Why don't you let your grandson give up his seat?"

In many such cases, we can't help but wonder: Do old people become bad, or do bad people become old?

Maybe none of them are right. There is a group of old people who made completely opposite actions and seemed to be doing some "shouldn't" things:

In 2013, more than 20 people in Zhengzhou City Elderly volunteers took to the streets and advocated "giving up seats to young people."

Among this group of elderly people, there is an 80-year-old man. He believes that many times elderly people take buses to visit parks or buy groceries, and the distances are usually relatively short.

Many young people have a long commute to and from get off work and are tired after a day of work. Older people should be more considerate and give up their seats to young people.

This is really a breath of fresh air in the elderly circle. In fact, I believe that many people are deeply touched by the scene described by the elderly.

Due to the high pressure of life, many young people choose to rent houses in more remote places in order to save rent. The commuting time to work usually takes more than an hour.

When they finish a day's work, drag their tired bodies onto the bus or subway, and finally find a place to rest, at this time, if an old man stands in front of you, do you still want to take a rest? Not allowed?

The slogan of giving up your seat essentially advocates giving up your seat to those in greatest need, rather than giving up your seat when you see the "old, weak, sick, disabled or pregnant".

Just imagine, if there is an old man who is full of energy after dinner and is ready to dance in the square and a young man who is dragging his tired body and is still hungry, who is the person who needs it most?

Giving up your seat is always optional, not required.

In the "give up seat" incident, when the woman A who gave up her seat returned to her seat, she saw that the other person took it for granted and did not say a word of thanks, so she became angry and felt that the seat was white. I gave in, but I got such a response despite my good intentions.

So the more I thought about it, the more unhappy I became, so I violently lifted the table, causing further conflicts.

After helping others, whether the other person should say thank you seems to trigger a new round of moral judgment. I read what a mother said about educating her children on the Internet, which I think is the best answer to this question:

Before helping others, try to think about these 4 sentences, which may make the help more sincere. Intention.

We always disguise morality as "should", kidnap others, hurt others, and hurt ourselves.

Morality has always been used to restrain oneself, not to demand others.

Helping you is my virtue, but using it to kidnap me is your vice.