Some people like online dating but don’t like dating in person. What’s the psychology behind this?

I have dated online and I have also dated online.

Let me tell you about my experience. I really forgot how we met. The two of us are thousands of kilometers apart, and when I changed jobs and decided to relax a bit, I suddenly bought a plane ticket.

It was quite relaxed when we met, and I didn’t feel too embarrassed. It must be because we have known each other for a long time.

Then he took me to eat, drink and have fun. I was very happy the past few days.

On the third day, he answered a phone call and started avoiding me. She was a girl. She had a strong sixth sense and I felt something was wrong.

After he hung up the phone, I asked him directly, and he immediately admitted that he now has a girlfriend (the scumbag of Chi Guoguo)

Then I didn’t seem to have any sadness, maybe I knew from the beginning that it would be impossible for me and him.

He probably felt embarrassed that I had exposed him and left, so I completed the rest of the journey happily and alone.

Traveling alone is amazing. I like walking on the beach and sitting on the beach watching the sunset. I gradually like to be alone.

Later, it was inevitable that I would get to know some people online. When we had a good impression of each other, I would never pierce that layer of paper again, I would just play dumb. Also refused to show up.

As someone who has been in online dating but has never been in love, I would like to share my thoughts briefly.

Online dating happened when I was in college and I was a girl. It was the first time I left home and came to a strange place. I felt very lonely and lonely. I always looked forward to having someone to talk to and allow me to act coquettishly.

When I was working part-time as a sophomore, I met a master. He was a low-key, aloof type, and I admired his business ability. By chance, I joked that I wanted to confess to him, but he actually sent me a photo and accepted me seriously. I think it's just online dating anyway. We don't know each other, so we just treat it as satisfying our own sexual needs.

It was okay while we were getting along. We just chatted occasionally, talked about daily life, and hugged his lap when working. Later, I concentrated on college life and realized that it was impossible to work with him, so I gradually stopped doing that job and had no contact with him. He probably felt it too, so he didn't say anything back to me, and the two of us just ended up in vain.

It’s okay, maybe girls think it’s unrealistic, think more about it, and aren’t as courageous as boys, so they don’t like to show up.

Of course, if two people get along very well and the actual situation is suitable, you can actually consider running for cash.

Let’s talk about several possibilities of liking online dating but not dating online;

1. There is a boyfriend/girlfriend in reality, but the lover in reality cannot meet his ideal standards or cannot I often accompany him, so I find more psychological support and comfort through online dating.

This situation may seem absurd, but in reality there are many such situations. Two people have been in a relationship for a long time, have spoken to each other, and exchanged photos, but they just find various reasons and excuses. Refuse to meet. You may not even know your real name or home address.

2 Very low self-esteem and not confident in myself. I am afraid that after meeting, I will not be able to continue to develop or even maintain my current status.

There are many people with this situation and thoughts. In reality, I am not very good at chatting, and I have low self-esteem about my appearance, family background or figure. However, in the virtual world on the Internet, I choose a more comfortable online name, use a few photos after beauty treatments, and use a virtual identity. Talk freely on the Internet under an unfamiliar identity.

In this case, the person with low self-esteem will also find various reasons to prevaricate the meeting, just to maintain the existing relationship.

3 The gap between online dating and reality is not accepted.

Online dating is very simple, as long as you can have a good conversation. It does not involve realistic factors, nor does it involve getting along in reality. Moreover, online dating adds more elements of imagination, which is too idealistic and beautifying. But in reality, there is often not so much beauty.

The above are the reasons why I like online dating but don’t like dating online.

Each of us has some emotions that need to be vented, but sometimes we can’t find the right person to listen to. Online dating has become an outlet and way for us to express our feelings. The reason for our unwillingness to express our feelings is roughly the same. There are the following points:

1. The Internet is sometimes invisible and intangible. Some people are not satisfied with their appearance, figure or voice. Although the current beauty software and photo processing The functions are very powerful, but they can only stay on the Internet. They still can't change anything in reality, so these feelings can only stay on the Internet. They don't have enough courage and confidence to show up.

2. Some people have no close friends in the real world, and no suitable love partner around them. Because of work or other reasons, they don’t have time or don’t want to fall in love, but they really want someone. They care about themselves and can share their joys, sorrows and joys. What they need is only spiritual comfort, but they don't want to show up.

Third, some people already have boyfriends and girlfriends or marriages in real life, but they do not get the love or care they want from each other. Although they find the spirit that may suit them online Partner, but it can only stop here.

People should still live in reality and in the present, expand their social circle, make more friends, and communicate more with their family, lovers, and friends in a timely manner if there are any problems, so that you can Live more wonderfully and your life will be more meaningful.

It is a method of psychological escape from reality. It is a spiritual feeling. It does not want to be a burden in reality and saves a lot of pressure from secular society. There is no such pressure in the virtual world. It is a spiritual feeling. freedom and release. It's a different kind of emotion and sense of belonging. . .

Generally speaking, I understand it as four situations:

1. Out of curiosity, find someone to talk to about your feelings and try the feeling of romance;

2. Attractive looks. There are handsome guys and beauties everywhere on the Internet. Because I have never seen so many handsome and beautiful people in reality, it is easier to be tempted on the nihilistic Internet;

3. Greed for money, some People covet each other's money, regardless of their own personality, and take the initiative to commit themselves to each other in exchange for a few copper coins, trying every means to please the other party;

4. Game companionship, in the process of playing games, people become acquainted When they get to know each other, as the character levels and equipment skills improve, the relationship between the two people also deepens subtly.

What you can’t get will always cause turmoil. In reality, everything is contradictory.

If you don’t like Benxian, you just want to pass the time out of boredom. Of course, Benxian people may not necessarily get married. We also have Benxian people who are happily married, and there are also people who have been married for more than ten years and got divorced. I also date Benxian online. I discovered that the people I met online were fundamentally different from the people I met in real life. Of course, their appearance did not change, but their personalities were different. They didn’t get along as well as I thought, and they finally broke up peacefully. I will no longer believe in online dating, because those beautiful pictures are just fantasies.

It’s over if you see the light of day. You can’t see or touch someone online anyway, and you are curious about it. If you feel uncomfortable when you meet in person, you may have to say goodbye to the real scene. The credibility of online dating is low.

This kind of mentality is due to distrust, so we don’t choose to meet. People who think like this often have emotional intelligence in their hearts.

In their hearts, they do not believe in others or feelings, and the reason why they want online dating is just to relieve the loneliness in their hearts. In terms of this mentality. It is difficult for them to meet their own happiness, because with their mentality, even if they meet someone they like, they will not take the initiative or believe it. They are suspicious and distrustful. This is their state of mind.

Just like that sentence, if you don’t love online, why do you want to love online? It's not a waste of time and feelings, who has time to talk to you. 3