On "Sex Education in Adolescence" Roundtable 1

In response to the strong response from mothers in Phoenix City, a new challenging topic salon was held at Zima’s house: “Adolescent Sex Education.”

On this day, The sunshine in the winter afternoon was comfortable and warm. Mothers gathered in the courtyard of Zima's house, drinking tea and sitting around a round table. Under the auspices of Teacher Ou and Ivy, they began to discuss the "adolescent sexuality" of their children that was imminent and needed to be put on the agenda. "Education", this salon feels like a roundtable meeting. Although this is a very private, shy and embarrassing topic, under the warm sun, we can still overcome the psychological barriers and discuss this issue seriously.

Teacher Ou said in the opening remarks: Parenting is like raising oneself. Yes, as mothers, our education journey has always been a path of self-cultivation for parents. All the appearances of children are actually a reflection of the words and deeds of parents. Therefore, since the mothers who can sit here and discuss it together, they must recognize the importance of "learning how to raise children."

In every salon, everyone will put a name tag on them so that they can call each other by their names accurately when discussing. Ivy is very careful and considerate about this. Before the discussion begins, the teacher will ask everyone to give a brief introduction to the children so that they can know whether the mother has multiple children or an only child; whether the gender of the children in the family is male or female; and what age the children in the family are. . Through a short introduction, everyone can quickly and closely close the psychological distance, making it easier for teachers to understand the situation of your mother's family.

Teacher Ou quoted the question "About learning to drive first and then getting on the road or first getting on the road and then learning to drive?" to solicit the opinions of the mothers sitting here. Obviously, our generation is almost feeling its way through the rocks. Cross the river. In view of social customs, psychological cognition, etc., we are almost unanimous in the second model of "get on the road first and learn to drive later". As for whether this model is right or wrong, I think everyone has their own comments. Maybe the mothers sitting here have been taught that "sex" is a disgusting thing, but in many Western European countries, such as Finland, sex education has been included in the syllabus of Finnish primary and secondary schools since the 1970s, even in kindergartens. Positive sex education books. Sex education consultation hotlines and child protection agencies have been set up to provide help to young people at any time. They have a sex education book - "Our Bodies". Parents can teach one lesson every day like "One Thousand and One Nights", and sex education will begin naturally.

It is worth mentioning that according to relevant experts, today's children begin to enter puberty at the age of nine. Because the children of the beautiful mothers sitting here are basically between 11 and 15 years old, the time for "adolescent sex education" is on the agenda. It is especially important for parents to talk about this topic.

Recently, teachers and mothers will communicate about the situation of their children at school. For example, some mothers reported that their children in fourth grade have created a private chat group on WeChat to send pornographic photos and videos to their classmates. ; Some mothers also reported that the fifth-grade children announced in class who liked whom and who started to have their period; of course, the sixth-grade children already knew more, not only who had their period and which little boy started to have nocturnal emissions, but also Some people are talking about homosexuality, masturbation sticks, AIDS and other words that would surprise adults even more. Today's society is a network society, and all information sources are more convenient and faster. The Internet, TV, books and other media allow children to grow at a speed we cannot imagine.

This time, in view of the frequent appearance of various negative situations in society in the public eye, it has once again refreshed everyone's common sense and understanding. Almost all mothers believe that it is important to talk about "adolescent sex education" with their children. "It's very necessary, but how to talk to children is really brain-burning and embarrassing. A mother said this: "I know its importance, but I can't get over it myself. How can I talk about such a sensitive and shy topic with my children?" In fact, children are super innocent, but it is the parents who Influenced by traditional education, I have tabooed the issue of "sex".

Teacher Ou shared: "Sex is the nature of food and sex." It is as common as eating and dressing, but it is inevitable.

Regarding the issue of children’s understanding of sex: A beautiful mother took the initiative to share: She passed on adolescent sex education to her son through the medium of books. The version she bought was in full English, and the scale is said to be relatively good. Straightforward and clear, without the insinuations, euphemisms, twists and turns and vague explanations we pass on to our children. She said the English version is straightforward and fun without being overwhelming. Reference book "Let's Talk About Sex" is provided.

Regarding the physical development of children during adolescence: A beautiful mother shared that because her husband is a doctor, she has many gynecologist friends, and they showed her son human anatomy early on. The picture also conveys the various cases faced by the gynecological clinic. As for the child's development, they can know the child's physical development in a timely manner through the intervention of medical professionals and the detection of all-round body secretions.

Another beautiful mother shared that regarding her girl’s breast development problem, she will inform her girl about various situations that may occur during development, such as pain, and encourage her children to face it openly and have the courage to straighten their backs. , instead of hunching down to cover up because of shyness. I especially remember that my girl’s head teacher was a really good teacher. She did a particularly good job in helping girls develop during puberty. In the fifth grade, almost all girls started to grow, some at a faster rate and with obvious growth. The child will develop a hunchback phenomenon. At this time, the teacher will call all the girls for a small meeting. The girls who develop quickly will learn to wear small vests. The other children who have not developed will wear small vests twice a week to accompany them. Girls buy little vests.

Regarding the issue of girls getting their period: My girl’s head teacher has collectively spread the knowledge about menstruation to all the girls. She also educates the male students in the class not to tease or laugh at the girls, and even openly tells the class All children were told when they would have their period every month. They were told that they would be in bad mood and physically uncomfortable during their period, and they were asked to be more obedient during this period. Children will always know: Oh, the teacher is on her period and has a bad temper. Who did she criticize today? In the eyes of children, never provoke the teacher during her period. Children and teachers are very open-minded.

What you need to know about having girls at home: Through discussion among the mothers, everyone agreed that it is necessary for their girls to realize that society is complex, in order to prevent some people with bad intentions from harming themselves; Getting involved in sexual relations when mature is a risky move; teenage pregnancy and abortion will harm your health; HIV infection will destroy your life; being clean and loving yourself and ensuring that you are committed to one sexual partner for life is the most effective way to stay away from AIDS.

Regarding the issue of how children should not be affected by pornographic online videos: Teacher Ou said that children should not participate when they see it. Children who are interested in pornographic videos are usually out of curiosity and are ignorant of theoretical knowledge about sex. If children know all about sex, they will no longer talk about it. Of course, children should be informed that if they blush, their blood speeds up, and their heart beats wildly, it is a normal phenomenon and they should not feel guilty or disgusted.

Regarding the issue of adolescents’ interactions with the opposite sex: Interacting with the opposite sex is a necessary process for personality maturation. It is also a very natural phenomenon to become interested in the opposite sex at a certain age. If it is deliberately prohibited, it will not be until the marriageable age. The sudden lifting of the ban will inevitably make him at a loss. In conservative societies in the past, women had to strictly abide by etiquette. After getting married, they suddenly assumed the mission given by society and family and played an active role in sexual life. They had to please their husbands and have offspring... Interactions between opposite sexes, It is a very natural thing. Some rigid schools or rigid teachers often strictly prohibit male and female students from interacting. Teenagers do not have the opportunity to learn how to get along between the sexes. How can they fully understand the opposite sex and maintain a good relationship between the sexes in the future? As a result, there are many adults who do not understand the opposite sex and cannot have a healthy sex life. When people of the opposite sex interact, it is inevitable that there will be exchanges of love letters. When dealing with such letters, parents should ask their children to be honest and know who their children are interacting with.

Regarding the issue of finding your son looking at nude photos: You must understand that your son has reached puberty, and photos can arouse his sexual desire and help him vent his sexual desire. If you prohibit it blindly, it will only do a lot of harm and no good. Unless your child is interested in photos of sexual violence and abuse, don’t make a fuss about it. Parents don’t need to make a fuss about their concern for women and their curiosity about women’s bodies. Children's concern about sex has been concrete since they started asking where they come from. This question is the first step to establish themselves, and parents must answer it carefully. After a little boy enters elementary school, he will become curious about little girls and show his concern for gender differences through games such as imitating doctors and lifting skirts.

In the roundtable meeting, mothers discussed a lot and had many topics, but the content can be summarized as follows:

1. Children’s adolescence education is necessary;

2 .The time for education has been advanced;

3. Parents should be calm, accepting, tolerant, understanding and unconditionally supportive of various situations presented by their children, and help their children build inner strength;

4. For children’s “adolescent sex” education, the content should be progressive according to age and stage.

5. Only by emphasizing love and belief in love for children at home can we better establish a link between children and parents.

6. Emphasize that children must love and appreciate their bodies. The body is our lifelong friend.

I believe this roundtable meeting brought a lot of highlights to us mothers in Phoenix and answered a lot of questions. We brought out shy topics to bask in the sun, just as we enjoyed the warmth of winter. Positive. On the road of growth in children's education, mothers grow together.

Recommended books:

1. "The Story of Small Penis", "The Story of Breasts", "Serena Williams Goes Forward", "Yeah Butt" Oriental sex education children's sex education picture book, Children's sex education enlightenment, self-protection awareness, cultivating children's sex education enlightenment picture book, love education genuine sex education book.

2. "The Little Princess Self-Protection Awareness Cultivation Picture Book" 6-volume story book for children aged 3-6 years old, kindergarten safety education picture book, a must-read for girls aged 4-6 years old, learn to protect yourself and don't touch me casually, picture book for children Safety book bestseller by Children's Book Society.

3. "My Precious Body", an Oriental children's sex education picture book (3 volumes in total), shares traditional sexual values, prevents physical infringement and abduction, and helps children avoid detours during adolescence. An 18-year-old best-selling classic in Korea, a must-have book for families with young children.

4. "Private Book from Dad to Adolescent Son", an ideal growth gift from father to his adolescent son! Rebellion, dislike of learning, precocity, harming friends, sex... there are answers to all questions! A magical book that combines love, rules, freedom and communication skills, it can be called an "encyclopedia" of boys' family education issues.

5. "A Private Book from a Mother to her Adolescent Daughter" An ideal growth gift from a mother to her adolescent daughter! Rebellion, dislike of studying, puppy love, Internet addiction, sex... there are answers to all your questions! A magical book that combines love, rules, freedom and communication skills, it can be called an "encyclopedia" of girls' family education issues.

6. "My Secret I Know" (Knowing Myself: Sex Education), pay attention to children's sex education! Only by understanding "sex" can you protect yourself! Interpret the secrets of growth of boys and girls, resolve adolescent confusion, protect yourself, and stay away from danger and harm. The previous work won the French Outstanding Youth Book Award and the China Laureate Children's Book Award. The State Administration of Press, Publication, Radio, Film and Television recommended hundreds of excellent books to teenagers across the country.