What’s the funniest joke you’ve ever heard?

1. One day, a boy who was my classmate looked at a girl who was my classmate and said blankly: You are between good-looking and ugly. The female classmate was very happy and thought that it would be good if you are not ugly. To put it bluntly: The middle point between good-looking and ugly is ugly, and my classmate immediately went berserk!

2. A classmate has just become a police officer. Once when I was out in the field to arrest someone, this guy posted a Weibo saying "We are ambushing". As a result, the Weibo was retweeted by many people and the police leaders also found out about it. As a result, he was invited in for tea. , the reason is to tip off criminals...

3. A new female colleague is very beautiful, we forced her to cough in front of her! The woman said very gently: Do you have a cold? The second-chested man said excitedly: Well, a bit! Woman: Then stay away from me, stay away... We burst out laughing on the spot!

4. In fact, Bin Laden is often in rural China, because Chinese rural areas often say: Bin Laden, sleep.

5. I went to my girlfriend’s house to meet her parents today, and I found out that her sister is actually my first girlfriend in junior high school, and her dad is the unit leader of our company.

Finally What’s so ridiculous is that her mother was actually the head teacher who beat us up in high school. I have a grudge against your family, right?

6. A beautiful colleague complained that her silk stockings always came off.

As soon as this was said, several female colleagues expressed that they also had this problem.

After a while, a buddy who studied science said: According to the mechanics of materials,

The main reason why stockings are prone to stripping is that the tension is too high, resulting in plastic deformation. In layman's terms, I would say,

It’s just that my legs are thick. So a dozen "rolls" appeared.

7. Liu Bei and the others came to Longzhong for the third time. Zhuge Liang was taking a nap. In order not to disturb him, Liu Bei waited respectfully at the foot of the steps.

When Zhang Fei saw this, he was very angry and was about to scold his mother, but Liu Bei scolded him.

When Kong Ming woke up and saw Liu Bei looking at the thatched cottage three times, he sold the house to him sincerely.

8. On my way home from get off work today, I accidentally overheard two filthy men talking. One said: "I just like this butt. It's beautiful like this. Others look really ugly to me."

Another one said: "This butt is too small. I like big butts. Big ones look good."

I thought to myself, these two people are really wretched. While saying this, he said it so loudly.

Then, another person among them spoke: "If you like something big, then you can buy a minivan, the minivan has a big butt."

Uh, I hid my face and left, it was me Think too much.

9. The river flows eastward, and all the lovers in the world break up~

Hey, hey, hey, let me show you off, they all break up after the Lantern Festival~

When you see an injustice on the road, let out a roar, and if you don’t break up, pour gasoline on it~

Set it on fire and burn it to death, no one can save you~ Hey, no one can save you~ Hey, no one can save you~

Hey, Hey Er, everyone who shows affection should break up~ Hey, Hey Er,

How much hatred do you think this is~ Let’s roar when we see injustice on the road,

If you don’t break up, just pour gasoline on it~ Set it on fire and burn it to death, there’s no way to save it!

10. A classmate posted on Weibo: "In the next life,

I will definitely be born on the National Day, and the sky will celebrate when I am born.

Died on the Qingming Festival, and the whole of China was sad when I died.”

The highlight is that I saw another reply: “In the next life, I wish you will be born on the Qingming Festival.” On National Day, when you were born, the whole of China was sad.

When you died on National Day, the whole country celebrated with joy.

”

11. The day is over the mountains, the Yellow River flows into the sea, and it is foggy;

The sun shines on the incense burner and produces purple smoke, and in the distance you can see the waterfall hanging in front of the river, flowing down. Three thousand feet, A-share;

The carved railings and jade bricks should still be there, but the beauty has changed. How much worry can you have to demolish it?

One trip of two or three miles. , there are four or five houses in Yancun, and six or seven pavilions, all rubbish;

Far up the Hanshan Mountain, the stone path is sloping, and there are people living in the white clouds. They park their cars and sit in the Aifenglin at night. There is a fee.

Red beans grow in the south, and I hope you will pick more when spring comes. 12. Man: Marry me! I can’t live without you!

Woman: No, my mother will be unhappy. She says you are too useless.

Man: Oh, if you don’t agree, I will die in front of you! As he said that, he picked up the pistol.

Female: Please wait, let me ask my mother.

Male: Hey, I knew this would work.

Female: My mother told me. I have grown up and can watch such bloody scenes.

Male:...

13. Once, I asked my friend where she was from, and she said, "Take a guess." I said I have to give some hints.

She said: "My province starts with h" I said: "Then... Hunan?" ""wrong. "Hubei?" "

"No" "This...could it be Henan and Hebei?" The accent doesn't look like it..."

"Hey, you can't guess," she grinned and smiled honestly, "Let me tell you, it's----Hu Jian! ! "

14. At three quarters of noon, with the scorching sun in the sky, the execution officer ordered: "Behead!" Suddenly the death row prisoner burst out laughing.

The execution officer asked: "Why are you laughing?" "

The death row prisoner hesitated for a moment and said: "The experts are indeed right. Smiling every day can extend your life by 5 seconds. "

15. A asked B: Do you know what the cannibal leader eats?

B answered: Cannibalism.

A then asked: One day , the cannibal leader is sick, and the doctor said he can no longer eat meat. What do you think the cannibal leader eats?

B: I don’t know.

A: He is a vegetable. /p>

B: . .

16. A: “Have you heard of Amway? ”

B: “Amway? Is it something similar to a pyramid scheme?

I have a friend who was cheated out of hundreds of thousands. The last time someone tried to sell me, he was crippled by me. Brother, why do you ask this? ”

A: “. . without. . It’s nothing”

Let me share some meaningful jokes with you

1. My sister-in-law and I were at home on Sunday. After taking a bath, she wore suspender pajamas and came over to me and said: Brother-in-law, I I went to rest first. Smelling her intoxicating scent, my blood surged... What was even more annoying was that she kept the bedroom door ajar! I didn't dare to go in. But early this morning I found a note on the coffee table in the living room that said: "Brother-in-law, 969426423464226". Is this a Persian code?

2. A girl was kidnapped by three men. One of the three men was a thief, one was a robber, and one was a handsome man. The three men asked the girl to choose one of them to be her husband. In the end, the girl chose the thief. Why ?

3. After I got married, I have always had a crush on my sister-in-law. One day when my wife was not at home, I invited my sister-in-law to come to dinner. I threw myself on the sofa and my sister-in-law looked at me in horror. Brother-in-law, something will happen if you do this! After dinner, we went to the hotel. On the way to the hotel, the goddess asked me if I liked Qiqihar. I said, this city is very nice.

The best thing today! , Sicong was lying in bed

The day before yesterday, he attended a friend's wedding.

The host of the ceremony asked the bride: We are newly married today. Have you slept with the groom before today?

Bride: No!

Host: True or false?

Bride: Not really.

Host: What do you know about the groom?

Bride: Got it!

Host: Does the groom usually smoke?

Bride: No.

Host: Drinking