Funny and classic sentences

100 Funny and Classic Sentences 2015

1. When I am sleeping, my body suddenly shakes and I wake up. So I went to Baidu? What is the reason why the body suddenly shakes while sleeping?, and one answer is: the sudden shaking while sleeping is the nervous system discovering that you suddenly fell into sleep and have not been active for a long time. It thinks you are dead, so it starts thinking about it. Are you dead?

2. Pigs have pig thoughts, and humans have human thoughts. If a pig has human thoughts, then it is not a pig, but Bajie.

3. Any love that is not for the purpose of marriage is a low-level hooliganism, and any love that is for the purpose of marriage is a high-class hooliganism~~

4. These days, women The men are becoming more and more masculine, the men are becoming more and more effeminate, the children are becoming more and more mature, but the adults are starting to pretend to be innocent.

5. After staying among the nervous people for a long time, I found that I am normal.

6. At the kindergarten party, the little friend who announced the curtain said in a loud voice: Please enjoy the chorus "We are all human beings"

7. There is an anxiety about computers It's stuck, and QQ is still beeping.

8. Just because I looked at you one more time in the crowd, I became blind

9. I feel relieved knowing that you are not doing well.

10. I used to disfigure a woman by throwing a bottle of makeup remover on her face. Now to disfigure a woman is to uninstall the beautiful pictures on her phone while she is not paying attention.

11. One day Ultraman went to class and the teacher asked a question. Ultraman raised his hand and the teacher died.

12. If you have money, you will spend money; if you don’t have money, you will worship God.

13. A school teacher collected slogans for protecting flowers and plants, and a classmate blurted out: Today I will step on my head, and tomorrow I will plant them on your grave.

14. I am not the wind, and you are not the sand. No matter how lingering we are, we will never reach the end of the world.

15. I watched you step onto the stage with my own eyes, and I didn’t know whether you were going to make a fool of yourself or make a fool of yourself.

16. A person’s longest love history is probably narcissism?

17. Either sleep or be in a daze, one of the body and soul must be in bed!

18. Heartbeat Law: If you kiss a woman and your heartbeat reaches 250, it must be first love. If the heartbeat reaches 180, it must be an affair. If the heart rate reaches 120, it must be love. If the heartbeat reaches 80, it must be my wife. If the heart rate reaches 30, it must be a dinosaur. If the heartbeat reaches 0, it must be myocardial infarction.

19. Now I know why so many people fall out of love when summer comes. It’s because it’s too hot for two people to sleep together, and those who can stay together are close friends.

20. What is the most refreshing sentence when you are sleepy in class? Find a classmate to go to the blackboard to do this question?

21. When can I become Birds, let’s see who doesn’t want to spread the word about bird flu?

22. Who can be as firm in their feelings for me as they are for RMB?

23. Why does your heart hurt? Because you have a heart disease.

24. It’s none of your business that I like you. If you have the ability, you can also like me and give it a try.

25. I will be a koala in my next life! I sleep 20 hours a day, eat two hours, and play for two hours. This is a perfect life!!

26. I am really I am a carefree person. As soon as the winter vacation left, I was thinking about the summer vacation.

27. Are you dissatisfied with the world when you look like this?

28. What do I have to be afraid of? Since I came to this world, I have no intention of leaving alive.

29. You think you are a saint, but in fact you are just a lunatic among humans.

30. In fact, the Japanese don’t know anything except the Japanese.

31. I thought I was decadent, but today I found out that I was already scrapped.

32. I didn’t know how to fart before I went to college, but I know how to fart when I came to college!

33. If you see how big trees turn into piles of trees Do you still have the heart to do your homework when you have a homework book? If there is no business, there will be no killing.

34. The most painful thing in the world is to be woken up by peeing while sleeping soundly.

35. Confucius’ father was almost 70 years old when he gave birth to Confucius, while Confucius’ mother was only 17 years old. It seems that when I am 70 years old, I will have to find a 17-year-old girl to give birth to a Confucius?

36. If you can’t keep something, throw it as far away as possible. You might hit something. It bounced back.

37. Don’t do porcelain work without a diamond, and don’t wear a short skirt without a gold hoop.

38. Your appearance has affected my healthy growth. When I see you, I feel more confused than visiting a grave.

39. A certain host mentioned precautions before the game: "Everyone has to wait until I finish" to start answering questions later. ?Then he further emphasized: ?You must wait for my ?start to come out before grabbing it!?

40. Tomorrow comes tomorrow, there are so many tomorrows! Since there are so many, you might as well put it off again.

41. We come to school very early every day. On the surface, we love to study, but how many people know that we are here to copy homework.

42. Whether you are cheap or not, the mistress is right there, infertile.

43. Since I was a child, I have determined to be a wise and foolish person, but I have only succeeded in half, and even the second half.

44. Everyone likes to eat Master Kong. If she eats Master Kong, then Mrs. Kang will have no companion, and she will have no choice but to marry a white elephant.

45. In fact, I think the summer vacation homework titled "Happy Summer Vacation" is of the same nature as the cigarette package that says "Smoking is harmful to health."

46. It rains heavily during the Qingming Festival, and students are exhausted from doing the questions. The vacation is too short, and there are piles of homework in the end.

47. When I was in college, salespeople often came to my door. One day, a facial cleanser salesman asked a buddy: Classmate, what do you usually use to wash your face? The buddy replied: water. The salesman asked again: What about water? Answer: Hands.

48. It hurts to say: The quality of the teacher’s class determines the traffic of the mobile phone this month.

49. I remember the first girl I chased when I was a freshman. That night I sent her a message: I have fallen in love with you, what should I do? She replied with three words: I have a crush on you. !

50. The meaning of the second row of letters on the keyboard is: you cry after falling in love with the other person, and the converse is: spreading the chrysanthemum to attack and defend is all about love.

51. My sister has been wandering between a lady and a rough girl.

52. The weather is very good today. I have been staying in the room for a long time, so I am going to go to the living room to relax.

53. Since ancient times, no one has ever died, whether he dies early or dies late

54. From childhood to adulthood, the only thing that remains unchanged is the heart that does not like reading

55. When I grow up, I want to cut my hair short. Long hair makes me less knowledgeable. Short hair shows that I am educated.

56. If you don’t want to answer my call, just say so. Don’t always ask someone else to say sorry to me for you.

57. When you finished copying the homework and were about to hand it in, did you not forget to say thoughtfully: Hand in ours separately? In those years, we handed in the homework together

58. Even if you lose weight and become prettier, everything will be better for you. People who don’t love you will still not love you. No matter how fat or ugly you are, no matter how bad you are, people who love you will never dislike you.

　59 ,_ It is said that Deser is a kind of healthy psychological massage

60. Men. Put on your pants and zip them up. He was so brazen that he was a virgin. You are arrogant without a hymen, right?

61. I heard that marriage certificates are very cheap now. Let me treat you.

62. People with untidy desktops must be very smart. ----Einstein,? Talk about funny classic quotations

63. If you see a book you like, you will buy it and collect it, but you are reluctant to write in it

64. Don't tease me, or I'll molest you!

65. Handsome boy, do you know why I put flowers on your chest? I tell you that it is a sign of love.

66. Auntie, you are my relative! Don’t torture me like that~

67. Listen more to your enemies, they can teach you to see the friends around you.

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68. How many handsome guys have been defeated by a short character?

69. My mother told me: If your husband bullies you, ask your grandfather to take him away

70. Handsome guy, if you watch too much, you will get pregnant.

71. When I paid the phone bill, I realized that my nonsense was so valuable.

72. The Chinese Valentine's Day has finally passed. The KTV is much quieter, the hotel rooms are also much empty, and the obstetrics and gynecology department in the hospital is starting to get busy.

73. If you say I despise you, first let’s see what you can do to make me despise you.

74. In ten years, if I am not married, I will tell your son to be careful after school.

75. If you want to make your sister angry, I can only say that you are not qualified?シ< /p>

76. If a person doesn’t want to go anywhere, doesn’t like to go to anyone, doesn’t want to play with anyone, and is annoyed by everyone? He is either sick or has no money.

77. Houyi, your mother asked you to come out and shoot the sun~~~~

78. Give you some sunshine and you will be brilliant; give you some floods and you will flood. If you are given a broken pot, you will eat; if you are given a chicken coop, you will lay eggs.

79. Xiao Ming doesn’t wear high heels, and he doesn’t use a ladder to change light bulbs. Who is Xiao Ming?

80. In fact, the reason for the failure of Gray Wolf is that other wolves eat raw. This guy It must be eaten cooked.

81. [Scolding in person is a friend, barking behind the back is a dog]

82. Every time you change your personal sign, I will think about it many times, even though I know you well. It's not me.

83. DM: You have no right to see me unhappy, but you have the right to blind yourself.

84. The hooligans are not scary, but the hooligans are educated.

85. Buy a bottle of soda worth 2.5 yuan and spray her to death.

86. Mistress, are you very proud to hold my man in your hand? Let me tell you gently, that is what I left from playing!

87. One day, She asked on his back: Is it heavy? He smiled and said: The whole world is on my back, how can I not be tired?

88. I am not a bumpy man. I have no little monsters for me to beat. I am not a gray wolf. The red wolf cannot beat me. I am not Spongebob. Are you crying? There is a Patrick Star?

89. School taught me the temptation of going home.

90. Do you hate me? Do you dislike me? Do you scold me behind my back? Don’t play dirty tricks with me, okay? If you have the ability, can you curse people in front of me? chaos.

91. I don’t know what it means to be young and frivolous, I only know that the winner is king.

92. When I was three years old, I unfortunately fell off a cliff and met Master Jiejie. He gave me a book. I thought it was Street Fighter, but I didn’t expect it to be Crayon Shin-chan.

93. If one day you tell me to break up, I will answer you with a smile: You should have done this long ago, because my gender is not worthy of you!?

94. Men They all take pleasure in seeing pussy and ejaculate as soon as they touch it

95. I have told you I love you so many times, but if you say it once, will you become constipated?

96. Wife: Dear Where are you? Husband: How about shopping with a best friend? Wife: Your couple outfits are beautiful.

97. People’s hearts are ancient and they know their own warmth and coldness.

98. It was that compulsory education that occupied my youth.

99. ?hundan?, ?scold whom?, ?scold you?, ?oh, hundan scolded me?.

100. In fact, we were all given by our mother with phone bills;