Joke Collection Website - Bulletin headlines - Just go pick peaches, and we will answer your question. "The fairy followed the instructions and went into the woods to pick peaches. She first picked two baskets from the front tree, then picked thre

Just go pick peaches, and we will answer your question. "The fairy followed the instructions and went into the woods to pick peaches. She first picked two baskets from the front tree, then picked thre

Just go pick peaches, and we will answer your question. "The fairy followed the instructions and went into the woods to pick peaches. She first picked two baskets from the front tree, then picked three baskets from the middle tree, and then picked them from the back tree. She saw that there were only a few flowers and fruits on the tree. It had a hairy stem and green skin. It turned out that the monkey king had eaten all the ripe ones. The Seven Fairies looked around and saw a half-red and half-white peach on the south branch. The woman in green pulled it off with her hands, and the woman in red picked it. But he looked up at the branch. It turned out that the great sage had changed and was sleeping on this branch. He was awakened by him. The great sage appeared in his true form, pulled out a golden cudgel from his ear, and made a sound like a bowl. He said: "You are that monster, you dare to steal my peaches! The seven fairies were so panicked that they all knelt down and said, "Great Sage, calm down." We are not monsters, but fairies in seven clothes sent by the Queen Mother to pick fairy peaches, open a treasure pavilion, and hold a peach gathering. When I arrived here, I first met the gods of this garden and the land, but the great sage was nowhere to be seen. We are afraid that we will delay the Queen Mother's decree and wait for the Great Sage, so we will pick peaches here first. Please forgive me. "When the great sage heard this, he returned his anger and said happily: "Xian'e, please get up. The Queen Mother holds a banquet in her pavilion, who does she invite? "The fairy said: "The meeting has its own old rules. The people invited are Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, holy monks and Arhats in the west, Guanyin in the south and Antarctica, Chong'en Saint Emperor in the east, immortals in the ten continents and three islands, Xuanling in the north and the Yellow Pole in the center. Huangjiao Daxian, this is the Five Elders of the Five Directions. There are also the Five Dou Xing Lords, the Three Pure Ones, the Four Emperors, the Taiyi Celestial Immortal in the upper eight caves, the Jade Emperor, the Nine Bases, and the Haiyue Immortals in the middle eight caves; All the deities, big and small, from all the palaces and halls went to the Peach Festival together. The great sage smiled and said, "Can you invite me?" "The fairy said: "I have never heard of it. The great sage said: "I am the great sage Qitian, so why not ask me, my old grandson, to be your honorary minister?" The fairy said: "This is the old rule of the previous meeting. I don't know what to do now." The Great Sage said: "This is also the case. No wonder you and others." You just sit down and wait for Lao Sun to go get some news first and see if you can invite Lao Sun or not. "LordThe great sage, twisting the secrets, reciting the incantation, said to the fairies: "Stay, stay, stay." This turned out to be a method of immobilizing the seven-clothed fairies one by one. Standing under the peach tree with eyes wide open, the great sage jumped out of the garden and ran towards Yaochi Road. As he was walking, he saw the wall room - Zhai.

One day. The auspicious mist is swaying, the five-color auspicious clouds are flying endlessly, the sound of white cranes is vibrating, and the purple zhizhi is divided into thousands of leaves.

In the middle, an immortal with a majestic and colorful appearance appears. Xiao, the treasure basket hanging on the waist has no birth and death. I know that the name is Barefoot Daluo Immortal. He lowered his head and made a plan to win over the real immortal. He wanted to go to the meeting secretly, but he asked: "Where is the old man going? The Great Immortal said, "Queen Mother Meng saw the invitation and went to the Peach Festival." The great sage said: "I don't know." The Jade Emperor, because of Lao Sun's somersault, invited everyone from all directions, first to His Highness Tongming to perform a ceremony, and then to the banquet. The Great Immortal was an upright man, so he took his lie as the truth and said, "I have been performing ceremonies in Yaochi all year round to express my gratitude. How can I go to Tongming Hall to perform ceremonies first and then go to Yaochi to attend the meeting?" "Having no choice but to turn away the auspicious clouds, he went straight to Tongming Hall. Zhai

The great sage rode on the clouds, chanted a mantra, transformed into a barefoot immortal, and ran towards the Yaochi. Not long after, until Treasure Pavilion, hold the cloud head, move gently, and walk inside, only to see there - Zhi

The fragrance is lingering, the auspicious mist is colorful, the Bao Pavilion is covered with phoenix clouds. The flying luan is ethereal, and the shadows of golden flowers and jade calyxes are arranged on it. On it are nine phoenixes, red rosy clouds, eight treasures and purple neon piers. On the table are dragon livers and phoenix marrow, bear paws and orangutan lips. The delicacies are all delicious, and the fruits and delicacies are fresh and colorful. The place is neatly laid out, but no immortal has come yet. , Turning around sharply, I saw under the long corridor on the right wall, there were several immortal officials making wine, warriors doing the work, leading a few Taoists carrying water, and boys lighting fires. They were washing jars and brushing urns there, and the jade liquid had been created. The great sage couldn't stop salivating, so he wanted to eat it. But those people were here, so he used his magical power to pluck out a few hairs, threw them into his mouth, chewed them, sprayed them out, and chanted. A mantra called "Change!" "He turned into a few sleepy men and ran in front of everyone.

" After hearing this, the Queen Mother immediately went to see the Jade Emperor to make preparations. After she couldn't say anything, she saw the wine-making group and the immortal officials came to report: "I don't know who disturbed the flat peach meeting and stole the jade. The liquid, fine wine, and all its eight delicacies and flavors were also eaten secretly. "Four more great heavenly masters came to announce: "The Supreme Taoist Patriarch is here. "The Jade Emperor and the Queen Mother went out to welcome them. After paying their respects, the old gentleman said: "In the old Taoist palace, I refined some Nine-Turn Golden Elixir to serve your Majesty in the elixir-yuan conference. Unexpectedly, it was stolen by thieves, so I would like to inform your Majesty. "The Jade Emperor was frightened when he saw the memorial. When he was young, another immortal official from Qitian Mansion kowtowed and said: "Sun Dasheng did not obey the deacon. He has been traveling since yesterday and has not returned yet, and his whereabouts are unknown. "The Jade Emperor added to his doubts, and saw the barefoot immortal playing on his fontanel again: "I was ordered by the Queen Mother to attend the meeting yesterday. I met the Monkey King Qitian by chance. After performing the ceremony in the palace, he went to the meeting. According to his words, I returned to the outside of Tongming Hall. I saw no Long Live Dragon, chariot and phoenix chariot, and came here in a hurry to wait. The Jade Emperor was even more frightened and said: "This guy is pretending to pass on the decree in order to coax the wise ministers. Hurry up and pick up the spiritual officers to find out where this guy is!" "The Master

After receiving the order, the spiritual official went out of the palace to visit, got all the details, and responded: "The one who disturbs the Heavenly Palace is the Great Sage Qitian. "And he told all the past events. The Jade Emperor was very angry, so he sent the four heavenly kings, together with King Li Tian and Prince Nezha, to point out the twenty-eight constellations, the nine obsidian star officials, the twelve yuan chen, the five directions and the four merits. , the east and west stars, the two gods of the north and south, the five mountains and four mountains, and the stars in the sky, mobilized one hundred thousand heavenly soldiers, laid out eighteen heavenly and earthly nets, and went down to the Huaguo Mountain to besiege him. They were determined to capture the guy and punish him. Heavenly Palace. When I go there, I see that - the yellow wind rolls over the sky, and the purple mist covers the earth. It's just for the monster monkeys to deceive God and cause the four heavenly kings to descend to the mortal world. , the five directions reveal the power of the four heavenly kings, and the five directions reveal the truth and mobilize many troops. Li Tuota is in charge of the army, and the enemy is the vanguard. The stars are full of energy, and the sun and stars are shining brightly. The five stars are like heroes, and the stars of Yuanchen, Ziwu, Maoyou, are all powerful. The dragon gods are divided into upper and lower places. The horns are high and the di room is the general leader. The bullfighting girl is always in danger. The sword shows its power. When the clouds stop and the fog falls, we set up camp in front of the Flower and Fruit Mountain. The poem says: Knowing that the natural monkey king has many changes and steals elixirs. Just because of the chaos in the Peach Fair, a hundred thousand heavenly soldiers set up a trap. At that time, King Li Tian sent an order and all the heavenly soldiers set up camp and surrounded the Huaguo Mountain. Eighteen heaven and earth nets were set up, and Jiu Yao evil stars were sent to fight first. Jiu Yao immediately led his troops to the outside of the cave, and saw a group of monkeys jumping and playing outside the cave: "That little demon!" Where is your great sage? We are gods sent from the upper realm to descend upon you, the rebellious great sage. Teach him to come back and surrender quickly; if he says half a word "no", you will all be punished! The little demon hurriedly said: "Great Sage, it's a disaster, it's a disaster!" There are nine fierce gods outside, claiming to be gods sent from the upper world to subdue the great sage. "Lord

The great sage was drinking fairy wine with the seventy-two cave demon kings and the four strong generals. When he heard this report, he openly ignored him and said: "There is wine today and you will be drunk now. Don't worry about the door. Yes and no. "I couldn't say anything, and the little demon jumped up again and said: "Those nine fierce gods, talking evil, scolding and fighting in front of the door! The great sage smiled and said: "Don't pick him." Poetry, wine and pictures of today's happiness, don't ask when fame will be achieved. Before he could finish talking, another little demon came to report: "Grandpa!" The nine fierce gods have broken down the door and are trying to get in! The great sage said angrily: "This hair-throwing god is so rude!" I don't want to argue with him, so how could he come to bully me? "I ordered the one-horned ghost king to lead the seventy-two cave demon kings out into the battle, and Lao Sun led the four strong generals to follow. The ghost king quickly commanded the demon soldiers to go out to meet the enemy, but he was killed by the evil stars of the Nine Obsidian and blocked the iron bridge. No way. Zhai

While shouting, the great sage arrived and shouted: "Open the way!" "Open the iron rod and use it to measure the thickness of the bowl and the length of two feet. Put aside the iron rod and beat him out. The one from Jiuyaoxing dared to resist, but he was repulsed for a moment.

The Jiu Yaoxing stood still and said: "You ignorant Bima Wen! You have committed the ten evil crimes. You first stole the peaches and then the wine. You disrupted the peach conference, stole Laojun's elixir, and then stole the imperial wine." Come here to enjoy yourself, don't you know that?" The great sage smiled and said: "These things are true, they are true!" Jiuyaoxing said: "I follow the Jade Emperor's golden decree? , the commanders are here to accept you, and convert them as soon as possible, otherwise they will flatten this mountain and overturn this cave! What kind of magic power do you have? Don't leave, please take a stick from me!" All the Nine Stars were excited. The Monkey King was not afraid of anything. He raised his golden cudgel, blocked the left and right, and exhausted the Jiu Yaoxing. He dragged his weapons backwards one by one, fled in defeat, rushed into the Chinese army's tent, and attacked the tower. The King of Heaven said: "That Monkey King is very brave! We can't fight him, and we are defeated." King Li Tianwang immediately mobilized the four heavenly kings and the twenty-eight stars to fight together. The Great Sage was openly unafraid and summoned the One-Legged Ghost King, the Seventy-two Cave Demon King and four strong generals to form a formation outside the cave gate. You see, this melee is so amazing - Zhai

The cold wind is blowing and the strange fog is overcast. The flags in that wall are flying, and the swords and halberds in this wall are shining brightly. The rolling helmet is bright, and the layers of armor are bright. The rolling helmet reflects the sun like a silver chime hitting the sky; the layers of armor shining on the rock cliffs look like icebergs pressing down on the ground. The big knife can fly through the clouds and ignite the lightning; the white spear can cut through the fog and penetrate the clouds. Square halberds and tiger-eye whips are arranged in the hemp forest; bronze swords, four bright shovels are arranged in dense trees. The bow is bent and the crossbow is carved with feathers and arrows, and the short stick and snake spear hold the soul. The great sage has a wish-fulfilling stick, tossing and turning against the gods. They killed no birds in the sky and tigers and wolves ran in the mountains. The universe is dark when sand and stones are blown away, and the universe is dark when dust is scattered. Just listen to the sounds of soldiers swooping in and out, shaking the world and shaking the ghosts and gods with their terrifying power. Zhi

In this battle, formations were set up at Chen time and the fighting continued until sunset. The one-horned ghost king and the seventy-two cave monsters were all captured by the gods. They stopped the four strong generals and the group of monkeys and hid deep in the water curtain cave. The great sage with a stick resisted the four gods and the monkeys. Li Tuota and Prince Nezha were both in mid-air, killing each other for a long time. When the great sage saw that it was getting late, he plucked a handful of hairs, threw it into his mouth, chewed it up and sprayed it before going out. He shouted: "Change!" Then hundreds of great sages transformed, and they all used golden cudgels to beat them back. He killed Prince Nezha and defeated five heavenly kings. Ancient

The great sage won the victory, collected his hair, turned around and returned to the cave. He had seen the iron bridge head again earlier, and four strong generals led the crowd to kowtow to meet the great sage, choked with sobs and cried three times, and then sighed. He laughed three times. The Great Sage said: "You are crying and laughing when you see me. Why?" The four strong generals said: "This morning the handsome generals fought with the king of heaven, and the demon king of the seventy-two caves and the one-horned ghost king were all killed by the gods. We are caught, so we should cry. Seeing that the great sage came back victorious, he should laugh. "The great sage said: "Winning or losing is a matter of war. The ancients said: Kill ten thousand, and you will lose three thousand. . The captured leader was a tiger, leopard, wolf, badger, deer, fox, and the like. None of my kind was injured, so why bother? Even though he was killed by my clone method, he still camped at the foot of my mountain. I will wait and defend, have a good meal, sleep peacefully, and refresh myself. At dawn, I will use my magical power to take revenge on the generals." The four generals and the monkey generals ate several bowls of coconut wine. , sleeping peacefully is no problem. Zhai

The four heavenly kings stopped fighting, and everyone reported their merits: some captured tigers and leopards, some captured lions and elephants, some captured wolves, worms, foxes, and monkeys, and they never captured a monkey spirit. . At that time, Guo settled his camp again and went down to the stronghold. He rewarded the generals who had made great contributions and ordered the soldiers of the Heaven and Earth Net to raise bells and shouts. They surrounded Huaguoshan and waited for the battle tomorrow morning. Everyone has orders and must obey them everywhere. This is exactly what it is: The monster monkeys are causing chaos and startling the world, and they are setting up nets to watch day and night. After all, how to deal with it after dawn will be explained next time.