Why do some families always have conflicts?

Why do some families always have conflicts?

Why do some families always have conflicts? If a family can live in harmony, it will never fail to prosper. But since ancient times, family relationships have been the most difficult to deal with. In many families, members are at odds with each other and have constant conflicts. So why do some families always have conflicts? Why do some families always have conflicts 1

First, parents interfere too much in their children's affairs

Nowadays young people have their own ideas and are no longer in the age of obeying their parents' arrangements, but no Young parents don’t understand this. Too much interference will cause conflicts between the two generations, such as urging marriage, urging the birth of a second child, interfering in the children’s life after marriage, etc. We should listen to parents’ suggestions as appropriate. But as parents, you should also relax. Your children and grandchildren will have their own blessings, so don't interfere too much with them.

Second, family members complain about each other

Children complain that their parents take too much care, and parents complain that their children do not listen to advice. Such things abound in life, and the more voices complain, , the more conflicts there will be, and the way to avoid conflicts is for family members to understand each other, tolerate each other, and consider issues from each other's perspective, so that everyone can live in harmony.

Third, children are not filial or the elderly are unreasonable

In real life, after children get married and start a business, because of the problem of who will support the elderly among brothers and sisters, There are many cases of quarrels. Families that are not filial to their parents will only have more and more family conflicts, and the attitude of children towards their parents will directly affect the next generation of children. When they see their parents being unfilial and disrespecting the elderly, they will grow up. It is also difficult to develop the habit of being filial to your parents when you grow up.

Ways to resolve family conflicts:

Various disputes should be handled promptly and correctly in family life to minimize conflicts. Mutual respect, mutual love, mutual trust, mutual help, mutual comfort, mutual concession, mutual understanding between husband and wife, and respect for the elderly and love for the young are important factors for the psychological compatibility of family members.

Resolving family conflicts cannot be solved by tolerance and accommodation. When conflicts arise in some families, one party always tolerates and accommodates them in the hope of resolving the problem. On the surface, everything seems to be fine if there is no quarrel or fuss, but in fact, no one is feeling awkward in their hearts. Over time, once too many problems accumulate, an unavoidable "war" will inevitably break out, or an unmanageable situation will arise. Not only that, if things go on like this, on the one hand, it is easy for the other party to "advantage".

Instead of realizing his own mistakes and feeling guilty, he feels that he is very right, which objectively encourages the continuation of his wrong behavior. On the other hand, as a party that has always insisted on "harmony" as the most important thing, it must be under tremendous pressure and pain. If this continues, it will easily cause mental illness, which will not only cause huge damage to the body, but also cause Affects other members at work and at home. Therefore, it is not a good idea to adopt tolerance and accommodation to resolve family conflicts. Is that just making a big fuss about the situation? Why Some Families Always Have Conflicts 2

Lack of sense of boundaries between family members

Fuzzy "sense of boundaries" is the main reason for family conflicts.

A colleague once told me that she had a hard-working and capable mother-in-law who liked to take care of things.

As soon as the mother-in-law came, she would get up at around 6 o'clock every day, clean housework, cook, wash clothes, and take care of the children. Life was arranged in an orderly manner.

However, what is annoying is that my mother-in-law is very insistent on having a second child and always likes to ask the couple to follow her own ideas.

Then one day after get off work, she found that her wardrobe and shoe cabinet had been rearranged by her mother-in-law.

Young people pay more attention to privacy, but mothers-in-law do not have this concept.

Without even saying hello, he moved around with his things, exposing everything in front of her, making her feel that she had nothing to do with this family.

Also, the mother-in-law always interferes too much in the children's education, often blindly pampering and pampering the children, giving them whatever they want, and letting them do whatever they want.

As long as she has some opinions, her mother-in-law will say: "My children were raised like this, and not all of them are good.

”

In intimate relationships, we often cross the "boundary" easily.

In fact, when getting along with anyone, it is necessary to maintain a sense of boundaries and rules. < /p>

A good family must have a sense of boundaries. Family members must avoid double standards when dealing with each other. Instead of asking others to think differently,

Verbal violence among family members

Most family conflicts stem from "not being able to speak well"

Words are an ax to hurt people, and words are a knife to cut the tongue.

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Among family members, an inappropriate word is like a sharp knife, which can hurt someone invisible.

There is such a middle-aged man whose parents are over 50 years old. Due to long-term grievances, they usually hurt others. His words are always full of aggression.

He is dissatisfied, but he keeps it secret.

He was sent to live in his hometown since he was a child, and his relationship with his parents is relatively cold. > After working alone for many years, he was under great pressure. He complained that his parents did not help him, which also amplified their conflicts.

One year when he returned to his hometown, his wife couldn't stand the confrontation between her parents-in-law. The way to do this is to take all the anger out on the man.

The man has been suppressed for too long, and the woman’s quarrel has further triggered him, and the conflict between the couple has escalated.

After leaving his hometown, The two even had a fierce quarrel.

Unexpectedly, misfortunes never come singly. The woman felt unwell and went to the hospital for examination, saying that she had no hope of fertility, but the doctor could not find the cause.

Women put the blame on men, saying that men’s depression affects them.

Really, the power of words in life should never be underestimated.

This is the violence of words. The most brutal murder in the world.

I once saw a piece of news:

An 80-year-old man complained to a reporter, saying that his son had beaten him.

When the reporter contacted her son, the middle-aged man held his head and cried, saying: "For so many years, I have lived under the scolding of my mother, and no one knows the pain in my heart. ”

It turns out that the mother likes to scold people for no reason. For this reason, the wife took the children and left home and never came back.

After the wife and children left, she became a

One day, he drove for a long time and wanted to take a good rest, but his mother kept scolding her. He couldn't bear it, and when he pulled her, she accidentally touched the cabinet.

< p> In life, the reason why unhappy families have constant conflicts is mostly because they "don't talk well".

Talking well is the best feng shui in a family.

When people get along with each other, no matter how close the relationship is, they should take into account the dignity of the other person; no matter how good the relationship is, they should also be considerate of the other person's feelings.

As the saying goes: if the old man is immoral, the whole family will suffer; If children are unfilial, there will be no blessings; if men have no ambitions, the family will not be prosperous; if women are not gentle, they will drive away wealth.

Family members need to crush bad words into pieces and maintain harmony in the family. Only then can we prosper. Why do some families always have conflicts 3

1. Conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

The first test that most newlyweds face after marriage is the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which is something that many families cannot overcome throughout their lives. Reconciling conflicts. Because the original family balance is broken by the addition of new family members, many conflicts will arise if family members cannot adapt to their new roles in the short term. For example, the mother-in-law is still very strong and insists on taking the lead in the new family; The mother-in-law has not yet adapted to the addition of her daughter-in-law as a family member, and treats her as an outsider.

2. Children’s education issues

Every parent hopes that their children will succeed. Nv Chengfeng's wish, but they have different views on their children's education. Some fathers think that they should be stricter with their children, while some mothers think that their children should not be treated so harshly, and conflicts arise.

3. Conflicts in housework

Nowadays, many couples in families are office workers, so the question of who does the housework has become a difficult problem. If the housework is shared equally by both spouses, conflicts may arise. If the housework is all or mainly borne by one party, the other party will be exhausted and emotionally deteriorated.

The above three points are some common family conflicts. It is normal to have conflicts, what matters is how we resolve them. If every family member can tolerate and understand each other, any conflicts can be easily resolved.

Once upon a time, I always had a strict definition of "right and wrong", "should and shouldn't".

This is true of the relationship between husband and wife, and so is the relationship between parents and children.

In words, "Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you," but in actions and behaviors, these clear boundaries are constantly being enacted.

But later, I understood that judging the other person’s right and wrong, what should and should not be, is actually based on self-standards and to satisfy one’s inner needs.

That’s right, that’s right, that is, the other person’s behavior and words are in line with your own inner standards and principles. Once something is wrong or inappropriate, it means that the other party's behavior and words conflict with your own standards and principles!

In the family, many of our close relationships and the parent-child relationship are getting worse and worse, all because we are looking more to each other to satisfy ourselves.

When we truly look within, we will find that the problem is not just the other person’s, but our inability to accept the true other person is the root cause!

There is no "right or wrong" in the family, nor is there any "should or shouldn't"! Only real individuals!