How to improve self-control

1? Strengthen ideological cultivation. People's self-control depends on their own ideological quality to a certain extent. Generally speaking, people with lofty ideals and ambitions will never have bad behavior because of trivial matters. Therefore, the most fundamental way to improve self-control is to establish a correct outlook on life and the world, and maintain an optimistic and healthy mood.

2? Improve cultural literacy. Generally speaking, a person's cultural accomplishment is directly proportional to his tolerance and self-control. People with higher cultural quality can often understand things comprehensively and correctly, understand their relationship with others, and consciously control and improve themselves.

3? Stabilize your mood. Use reasonable methods such as venting, diverting attention and transferring environment to vent and release emotions that will trigger impulsiveness, maintain emotional stability and avoid impulsiveness.

4? Strengthen self-awareness. When things happen, be calm, use your own brain, eliminate external interference or hints, and learn to make your own decisions. We should completely get rid of dependence on others, overcome inferiority, and cultivate self-confidence and independence.

5? It is necessary to strengthen practical exercise. On the one hand, we should strengthen study, accumulate knowledge, broaden our horizons, arm and enrich ourselves with knowledge, improve the level of analyzing and solving problems, and expand our ability to decide things by learning from other people's experience; On the other hand, we should actively participate in the practice of army life, exercise hard, constantly enrich our experience and improve our adaptability.

6? We should strengthen our willpower. We should cultivate the good quality of independent will in our own character. Be highly aware of what you are striving for. As long as you find something through your own practice, you should go on without hesitation and strive to achieve the expected goal. You don't have to pursue perfection in everything, you don't have to demand that you don't fail at all, and you don't have to care too much about what others say about you.

7? Adjust the required structure. When demands cannot be considered at the same time, suppress some impossible demands. The ancients said, "You can't have your cake and eat it. I take bear's paw instead of fish. "

8? We should strengthen positive thinking. As the saying goes, "everything is established in advance, and it is abolished without advance." Usually pay attention to thinking about problems frequently, enhance foresight, and make timely, decisive and accurate choices at critical moments.

How to enhance self-control?

I think we should do some "tempering rules" while strengthening the legal system and morality.

The "tempering rule" is very important for cultivating the qualities of self-denial and self-control. For example, when Edmund Hillary, the first New Zealander who successfully conquered Mount Everest, was asked how he conquered the highest mountain in the world, Hillary replied, "What I really conquered was not a mountain, but myself." This excellent quality is called willpower, self-control or self-discipline. In fact, you can start from doing something you don't like or think you can't do every day, and cultivate your stronger willpower and self-control under the action of "tempering method"

You also know that only through practice can you really gain self-control. Only by relying on inertia and repeated self-control training can we completely control our nerves. Judging from the repeated efforts and training of the will, the cultivation of self-control is largely the formation of a habit. "

And the most effective, convenient and practical advice I can give you is to jog 5 kilometers every morning. Whether the weather is cold or hot, windy or rainy, we must persist. Every minute in bed in the morning is so precious, especially in winter, when you lie under the covers and get up after a fierce ideological struggle. Moreover, long-distance running is hard and boring, and it will also make people backache. It's really a real chore, so you can be honed in this process, starting from scratch, from fresh to annoying to painful. You can think about a sentence by Mark Twain. Explain how to achieve self-restraint: "The key is to do something you don't want to do every day, so that you won't feel pain for those obligations that really need you to complete." This is the golden rule of forming conscious habits. " As long as you persist, with the gradual improvement of your physical condition, running becomes easier and the drudgery of running seems less terrible. Although getting up early is still a bit laborious, it seems to be overcome. Everything becomes easier and more natural, and finally becomes a habit and a part of daily behavior. Don't force yourself, running every morning becomes a natural habit. In this way, your self-discipline, determination, will, commitment, efficiency, self-confidence and self-esteem will be exercised and improved through daily running.

You can choose to run long distances every morning to help you develop a high degree of self-control. You can also choose various sports activities. No matter what you choose, it is first and foremost a chore that you must force yourself to complete. Secondly, this chore must be done every day. Finally, of course, this chore should also be beneficial (for example, physical exercise can help health, improve physical function, enhance self-confidence and improve cognitive ability, etc.). You can choose all kinds of hard work, such as running, bodybuilding, swimming, cycling, walking, aerobics, yoga, martial arts and so on. There are countless ways of physical exercise, but it doesn't mean that your efforts are limited to physical exercise. Practicing a musical instrument, reading or writing, correspondence with friends or writing emails are also applicable. What kind of drudgery you choose is not important in itself, but persistence is the key to the problem. Insist on doing something you didn't like very much every day, and eventually you will gain self-discipline, perseverance, keep your promise and enhance your self-control.

Self-control also plays an important role in improving physical and mental health. People who can't control their emotions and behaviors will not have a healthy body and a healthy mind. In order to improve self-control, the following six methods can be adopted. ?

1? Diversion method?

When you are greatly stimulated, you can think or do something else first. For example, Turgenev, a famous Russian writer, suggested that people turn their tongues in their mouths 10 times when an argument is about to happen. ?

2? Psychological suggestion?

For example, Lin Zexu used the banner of "controlling anger" to control himself, while Su Shi used the words of "forbearing small anger and making great plans" to encourage himself to keep a good mood when encountering bad stimuli. ?

3? Avoid excitement?

When you encounter stimulation that may make you lose self-control, you should try to avoid it. If someone scolds me next door, I won't listen. Go out for a walk. In this way, we can avoid the conflict caused by anger. ?

4? A reasonable way to vent?

Some people will vent their emotions by listening to music and drawing when they are in mood swings.

5? Positive compensation method?

That is to use the powerful motivation generated by anger and passion to find a job you like and work hard, or study hard, or study hard at your desk, so that negative emotions can be actively used. ?

6? Do the opposite?

Is to do what you don't want to do first, that is, deliberately try to make yourself feel bad. ?

Self-control is a kind of willpower, a manifestation of self-esteem, self-love and self-respect, which enables us to choose the best behavior plan, pass the fork in the road smoothly and always move in the right direction.

How to Cultivate Middle School Students' Self-control

Self-control is the ability to control yourself. The quality of people's restraint ability can determine their psychological taste, health and intelligence.

Although people's self-control is innate, acquired influence, education and self-cultivation are more important. Self-control, like other abilities, should be cultivated early.

The cultivation of self-control can be carried out through four links: guidance, induction, practice and strengthening, which are inseparable and integrated.

First of all, dredge

The purpose of counseling is to avoid and eliminate the inducement of impulse and trouble caused by students' emotional out of control. This method is especially important for the following students.

(A) congenital low self-control ability

This kind of students' self-control is difficult to cultivate. Time-consuming and slow. Dredge method is:

A. Love melting method is to use the love of teachers and classmates to melt the hard "bumps" of these classmates. Teachers should care about their studies, their health and life, and their interpersonal relationships. We should talk with them more, ask more questions, and educate other students to get close to them, get to know them, study and play with them, so that they are not "hot" or less "hot".

B. Shift the target to vent, that is, when they lose their temper, the teacher skillfully shifts their sharpness to avoid their collision or injury. The teacher can comfort them first and then postpone.

C. Exercise to get rid of qi is to use exercise to release accumulated heat in the human body, consume excess energy, and play a good role in fitness and ambition. It is observed that people will be more calm within three days after experiencing a strong physical activity.

D. Diet choice, that is, choosing certain foods, such as cigarettes, wine and peppers, will make people's blood pressure rise, heart rate increase and excitement, so their self-control will also decrease, so it is best not to touch or touch less.

(II) Endocrine disorder type

There are many similarities and differences between tutoring such students and students with weak innate self-control, mainly as follows:

A. drug therapy or psychotherapy should be combined;

B. It is more important to show love to those students who have lost their loved ones, and we should comfort them more.

C. games or entertainment. If you are a primary school student, you can let them (better than the teacher) play hide-and-seek and the blind touch the elephant.

D to carry out adolescent health education and sex education, and do a good job of unity between boys and girls.

(3) Other types

1. Only child syndrome

This kind of students generally have the following characteristics: bossiness, willfulness, stubbornness, too strong self-esteem, too strong self-awareness, too confident, poor self-care ability, unable to bear hardships and so on.

To cultivate this kind of students' self-control, we must first combine family education and get family support. Therefore, we should visit more families and hold parent-teacher conferences. If possible, let students live on campus and lead a collective life, let students manage themselves and educate themselves; Secondly, we should educate them to set lofty goals as soon as possible and strive for them; The third is to carry out frustration training so that they can withstand difficulties and setbacks; The fourth is to carry out legal education and moral education.

2. Backing effect and its own superior radiation type

The back-up effect refers to that parents or other relatives of students become cadres or have honor or "golden gods", which makes students complacent and supercilious. Most of them have nothing to hide, don't accept the teacher's discipline, don't study hard, and get a little criticism, they will glare.

The education of this kind of students should first carry out legal and moral education; The second is to invite people with status and prestige to assist education; The third is to eliminate their sense of superiority, and suggest that parents limit their unreasonable demands and pay attention to their types of friends. In case they are criticized, parents should help them, not protect them.

The radiation of self-superiority is the idea that students are superior to others in appearance, posture, sound quality, intelligence and talent. They are self-righteous, supercilious, unwilling to listen to objections, jealous, and some are good at playing tricks on others to find fault with teachers.

The way to persuade is to make the best use of the situation, put more pressure on the burden and make more suggestions. Confucius' words and deeds, "Three people must have a teacher", "saints are impermanent" and "eager to learn and eager to ask questions" are all good teaching materials for such students. In short, we should encourage them to give full play to their advantages and use the right methods to strive for early success.

3. Competition syndrome

Reasonable competition can destroy people, but its side effects should also attract our attention. All kinds of competitions, competitions and exams at school, the ranking of usual exams and the pressure of entrance exams will make students feel different degrees of fear, which will lead to inner pressure, nervousness and irritability, and sometimes some students will feel lost.

The method of counseling is: pay attention to students' emotions before and after each competition and arrange rest reasonably. Comfort and enlighten those students with unsatisfactory grades in time; For those winners, we should advise them not to get too excited to ensure the students' psychological relaxation.

In addition, the beautification, purification and greening of schools are also important aspects of counseling, which should be paid attention to.

Second, induction.

The purpose of induction is to let students know the function of self-control, abandon bad emotions and actively and consciously cultivate self-control.

(A) teachers set an example

Most students have the habit of imitating their teachers, so teachers should have elegant and generous manners, calm courage in the face of emergencies, and have an angry demeanor in case of emergencies, so that students can learn from each other and gradually cultivate self-control ability.

(B) to guide students with famous sayings

Famous sayings, aphorisms, aphorisms, proverbs, aphorisms, etc. A considerable part of them persuade people to cultivate their self-cultivation, which, if properly used, can become a signpost for students to pursue the improvement of their psychological quality. Teachers can write these famous aphorisms as slogans as school mottos or let students copy them down as mottoes, so as to refer to practice at any time.

(C) Infect students with stories

In the world, there are many stories about how to overcome rigidity with softness, how to endure disasters and how to take death with violence. Their functions and influences are subtle.

set a good example

All politicians and educators attach great importance to the role of role models, and workers engaged in psychological education also regard them as stimulants and cardiotonic agents. Teachers should be good at observing and understanding, take the tree with strong self-control among students as an example, so that other students can effectively hear and see, imitate their behaviors and thoughts, and at the same time, they can respond to students who take the tree as an example.

The method of induction is as described above. As long as the teacher can properly induce, students' interest will be aroused and practice will be much easier.

Third, practice.

The purpose of the exercise is to guide students to learn to be generous and keep a balance at all times. Methods of practicing self-control can be divided into direct and indirect.

(1) directly

1. Hold a debate. The content of the debate can be rational, routine and informative. The method is that teachers or class cadres ask questions for students to debate first, and those who make mistakes such as mouth-grabbing, rudeness, unreasonable troubles and satire can be deducted as appropriate, and those who don't speak will also be deducted;

2. Anger law. Teachers should pay attention to "gossiping" and "turning black and white" and see how students can correct their teachers. Teachers can measure the score of "Qi".

(2) Indirect method

There are many methods of indirect exercise, which have been mentioned in the section of persuasion, such as frustration training, hide-and-seek and sports, and of course there are many other methods.

No matter which practice method, the teacher should explain its meaning and method, and then grade it.

Fourth, strengthen

The purpose of reinforcement is to keep students' developing mood and form habits.

In order to strengthen students' self-control, we must strive to make students learn to guide themselves, educate themselves and educate them to understand their emotional cycle. Sometimes some criminal cases can be used as negative education to educate students.

Strengthening means can be through inspection, evaluation and calling on students to supervise each other. We should praise and reward those who are excellent, and patiently guide and educate those who are not good until they change.

The cultivation and improvement of students' self-control will benefit students all their lives, but it is also a very complicated psychological quality education. It's hard to say which method is most suitable for a certain situation. Only by going deep into students, understanding students and constantly exploring and summarizing can teachers achieve better results.

How to cultivate self-control

Demosthenes, a famous orator in ancient Greece, could not beat his opponent because of stuttering. But he was not overwhelmed by the failure brought by this fatal weakness. Insist on running to the seaside every day, or climbing mountains, holding small stones under your tongue, talking loudly, and finally becoming a great speaker after hard practice. So, if you have a weakness that you are embarrassed about, go to those places where you are embarrassed to exercise.

Demosthenes, a famous orator in ancient Greece, could not beat his opponent because of stuttering. But he was not overwhelmed by the failure brought by this fatal weakness. Insist on running to the seaside every day, or climbing mountains, holding small stones under your tongue, talking loudly, and finally becoming a great speaker after hard practice. So, if you have a weakness that you are embarrassed about, go to those places where you are embarrassed to exercise.

We need self-control to overcome our psychological weakness, to overcome ourselves, to achieve the expected success in activities, and to maintain physical and mental health. Self-control includes two aspects: self-motivation to improve the efficiency of activities; Overcome weaknesses and negative emotions to achieve the purpose of activities.

How to cultivate self-control?

First, we should improve our cognitive level and correct our motivation. According to the research of psychologists at home and abroad, the most obvious psychological feature of many crimes (especially teenagers) is the lack of self-control. On the contrary, those people with lofty ideals in history have shown a high degree of self-restraint, are not afraid of danger, and regard death as their own. This shows that the level of cognition and motivation will affect one's self-control. So, how do cognition and motivation affect self-control? For example, the first time I went to the podium, gave a report, and participated in a battle for the first time ... If you think, "If I made a mistake in my speech, how can people laugh at me?" Or "If I was hit by a bullet in the battlefield, what about meritorious service?" And so on, the deep motivation is how to express yourself and how to get personal honor, so as to get personal honor. On the contrary, if you think: I can't mislead others, I must have a good class; Or: I make a report, just to sum up everyone's experience and exchange it; Or: I am fighting for justice. The underlying motivation is noble, positive and philosophical, so that you will be less affected by negative emotions. Therefore, a correct understanding of oneself and the meaning of action is very important for cultivating self-control.

Second, the cultivation of self-control must be targeted. That is to say, we should train ourselves according to some weaknesses and some negative psychological activities in some actions. To cultivate self-control, we must first dissect ourselves and find out the problems we often make in those activities. However, it is necessary to choose appropriate training methods and correct them in practice through training. Here are some practical training methods:

1. If you often fail in an activity because of your own psychological reasons, you can choose the confrontation training method. That is, repeatedly being in (or imagining being in) situations that make you fail, exercising yourself and overcoming weaknesses, this kind of training includes two ways:

(1) Under certain circumstances. According to the Soviet psychologist K.H. Cole Nilov, "If you want to be resolute, you must get up the courage to hunt wild animals, cross rapids and rapids, and go to the mountains for training in a dizzy way"; Or, as Novo in Fuiserivan said, we should "take the inoculation or stab wound calmly and take out the wooden thorn: in the dark night, in Yuan Ye or in the forest far away from the house, we are not afraid: ... when we are sick, burned or injured, we bravely endure the pain ... when we meet wolves or other wild animals in the storm, in the forest or on the boat, we will not be helpless ..."; Save the drowning man with his own life, fearless; Don't panic in case of a fire. " This is an ancient but effective training method. If you are timid, go to places that scare you and take tests.

(2) Imagination in a specific environment (that is, simulated training). When you fail in an activity, you can reproduce the specific links in the past activities in your imagination, find out the reasons for the failure, and then imagine a new activity to start, correct past mistakes in your imagination, and eliminate all possible accidents and difficulties in order to achieve success and let the successful experience dominate you. Or when you are about to engage in another important activity, you can also simulate the whole process of this activity in your imagination and keep the successful experience. Through such training, you can get a whole set of activity patterns in your imagination, and you can enhance your confidence in winning.

2. Loss or weakening of self-control often occurs in a tense physical and psychological state. Therefore, by relaxing training and learning to eliminate tension, self-control can be improved. Tension is accompanied by muscle tension, shortness of breath and rapid heartbeat. Relaxation training can consciously control these processes and obtain physiological feedback information, thus controlling and regulating a person's whole psychological state. Relaxation training mainly has the following ways:

① Breathing training. In anger, excitement and panic, people often don't realize their shortness of breath or even difficulty breathing, which makes them more nervous. For example, when some people are nervous, their voices tremble and their timbre is hoarse, because the smooth muscle spasm of the bronchial wall will make them more uneasy and even more out of control. Therefore, before engaging in activities that are expected to cause tension, do some breathing relaxation training to keep breathing at a calm and soothing rhythm. The methods are as follows: a. Stand or sit down, relax and take a deep breath; B. Take a deep breath while walking slowly; Wait a minute.

② Muscle relaxation training. Muscle relaxation training can eliminate fatigue, overcome tension and even treat some diseases. Regular or on-site relaxation training can help us learn self-control and become calm.

(3) Qigong enters silence. Get rid of all distractions and keep absolute peace of mind. The method is to focus all your attention on the Dantian point (three inches below the navel). This kind of on-the-spot training, or training after nervousness, has obvious effects.

In addition, a person's thoughts (thoughts, beliefs, self-monitoring, conscious words, etc. ) can control and adjust a person's psychological state. Self-control is largely manifested in ideological control. The function of mind control is to promote a person's positive action. There are two ways to train in this respect.

1 self-suggestion. The role of positive self-suggestion is to gain self-confidence and improve self-control. However, negative self-suggestion is just the opposite. Self-suggestion is best done in a state of sleep rather than sleep. Before you engage in intense activities, let yourself enter a quiet, comfortable and sleepy state of relaxation, and then repeat some words that build confidence and give people strength. It won't be useless.

② Self-motivation. Whatever you do, you should be conscious. Self-awareness often refers to the motivation to gain a positive action. How can we get a motivation for positive action? Try to learn self-motivation. Self-motivation means giving yourself tasks, giving yourself rewards, giving yourself rewards and punishments, commanding yourself and being your own commander. The ways of self-motivation are:

A, make a feasible plan, arrange things that must be done and things that can't be done, and then reward and punish yourself.

B, write a motto and always encourage yourself.

C, often keep a diary, and conduct self-monitoring in the diary.

D, verbal orders. Learn to guide yourself whenever you are in trouble or danger. Through verbal commands, you can organize your own psychological activities and gain spiritual strength.

Might as well train, it will be good.

Strive to cultivate self-control

Strive to cultivate self-control

There is a saying in the army: "outflank". We are not talking about attacking from the front, but attacking from the side to achieve our goal. In the journey of life, in order to achieve your goals, you may have to do something you don't want to do and give up something you are deeply obsessed with, so you feel certain "constraints". However, for the sake of life and goals, we should not try to get rid of all "constraints", but should make steady progress step by step along the established goals under the guidance of "constraints".

theme

A person who wants to achieve something, if he lacks self-control, is like a car without steering wheel and brakes, and will inevitably "derail", "cross the line" and even "roll over".

Father's teaching

It is not easy to control ourselves, because there is always a struggle between reason and emotion in each of us. "Doing what you like" or taking a desperate attitude are not true freedom. You should have the ability to overcome your feelings and control your own destiny. If you let your feelings dominate your actions, you will become a slave to your feelings.

If you are going to do something today, can you leave your warm nest and get up without hesitation? If you are going to travel far away, but you are weak, do you want to cancel your travel plan? If you encounter insurmountable difficulties in what you are doing, will you continue to do it or stop and watch? If you answer such a question on paper, the answer will be clear at a glance, but when you are in it and torture yourself, I'm afraid it won't be so simple. The fact is that many people get scared when they encounter difficulties in life and work. It's not that they can't simply answer these questions, but that they can't control themselves mentally.

Self-control means overcoming desire. Self-control is not only material restraint of desire, but also spiritual self-control.

So how can one cultivate self-control?

(1) master your own thoughts. Without the guidance of consciousness, people can't have specific behavior. To control your mind, you must understand what you want and what you can't want. This is a cognitive problem. Then try to refuse what you can't do and force yourself to do what you should do. This is a matter of method. Finally, consider what will happen if you do it and what will happen if you don't. This is the premise of establishing perseverance, and it is also the transition from controlling thoughts to controlling behaviors.

(2) control the target. Goals are the core of thought and the guide to action.

Controlling goals is an important way to achieve success. To control the goal, we must set the goal. Have long-term, medium-term and short-term goals. Long-term goals and short-term goals should be carried out at the same time, so as to be aware of them and be busy without confusion.

(3) control time. People live in time and space, space accommodates people, and time changes people. Many people can't do things well, but they just don't make good use of their time.

You should make overall arrangements based on what you intend to do and your personal situation. This is not an easy task. People often don't understand not only what they want to do, but also when and how long it takes to do something. If many things are fully integrated with limited time, things are done well and time is not wasted, you can choose time to work, play and rest. When we can control time, we can change everything about ourselves.

In daily life, always remind yourself to be self-disciplined and consciously cultivate the spirit of self-discipline. For example, it is better to limit a time limit and focus on correcting a shortcoming or bad habit of one's personality.

Never indulge yourself and make excuses for yourself. Be strict with yourself. After a long time, self-discipline will become a habit and a way of life, and your personality and wisdom will become more perfect.