Establish a correct view of Separate child care.

It is our parents' duty, responsibility and right to define the responsibility of raising children and assume the responsibility of raising children, but not our grandparents. Defining our responsibilities and responsibilities is what we should have as adults who already have children of our own. The old man has no obligation to take care of the children for us. If he can help us for a day, we should all be grateful. When we complain about the problem of the elderly helping me with my children, we actually ignore a more fundamental problem, that is, we parents have not taken up our responsibilities, kept our borders and defended our rights. Clear boundaries and master the leading power. I often hear some young parents complain that the old people have such problems with their children, saying that the old people are too stubborn and too strong to help themselves. In fact, this is just their shirking responsibility. We are all adults, and we can't even bring up our children. Can you say that you are a responsible person? When we talk about respecting and caring for the elderly, we don't mean absolutely obeying them. We obey because the old man's words are reasonable and we follow the truth; If we don't do what the old people say, it's not a betrayal of our parents, but just a disagreement with the truth in their words. Accepting the imperfection of life Speaking of accepting children unconditionally, many mothers can do it or at least try their best. Then why are we so mean and harsh to the elderly? Even if we don't consider the problem of old parents, should we also think about whether we are perfect or not? Are there necessarily fewer problems in raising children by yourself? In fact, many of the problems we complain about are not caused by the elderly, but the physical and mental development characteristics of children at a certain stage, but we blame these problems on the elderly because of our ignorance and prejudice. A harmonious family environment, which is more important than education, not only lays a good foundation for educating children, but also is an education in itself. I see many parents eager to send their young children to various classes and early education classes, or instill the truth of being a man all day. As we all know, how we treat our parents and partners, the way we do things, the tone of communication and so on. The influence on our children is greater and more important than all kinds of classes and principles! This will affect or even determine children's attitude towards the world and their own life in the future. Education is to manage yourself, not to ask other people's younger parents. Another important reason for complaining that old people will bring many problems to their children is lack of self-confidence. I can't control myself, I can't tell the boundaries between myself and my children, and I blindly set rules for my children. I don't spoil them, I just beat and scold them. Sadly, I don't know yet, so there is a strange phenomenon: some parents turn a blind eye to many problems of their children who have been raised for 5-6 years. When the children go to stay with their grandparents for a few months, they blame all the problems on the improper education methods of the elderly. Ask yourself, be objective? In my eyes, education should never be to blame the old and punish the children, but to manage yourself. Accept differences, don't complain, and don't force changes. Whether we agree with the old people or not, we must accept them. Acceptance is not recognition, but respect for the concept, temperament and habits of the elderly. We have no right to ask the elderly to make changes to adapt to us and raise children with our ideas and methods. If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have great differences on the education of their children, they should try their best to let the father of the child do the work of the elderly, which is also the unshirkable responsibility of the husband and son. I think issues involving major principles will be communicated with my parents, but they will only stop at the point. I will not force the elderly to do what I want. With the help of experts, no matter how old people are, they will think their children are children, but they will pay more attention to the words of experts and scholars. When I meet some big differences, I will show my parents some expert talk shows or relevant reports in newspapers and magazines. Although they rarely admit their mistakes, I found that similar problems have improved in the future. There are two things in life that can't wait, one is the education of children, and the other is the care of the elderly. Don't have that much time to go. If you miss it, you miss it. It's irreversible. Fortunately, if we have enough love and wisdom, these two things can be combined into one. Daily care for parents is a good education for children, and giving children a good education is also the inheritance and transmission of parents' love. This kind of care and education is the best gift for all children's parents and their parents. Establish a correct concept of Separate child care's view 2 1: Children are individuals of life and independent beings. Parents should respect this independent life from the moment the child is born. Many parents think that they have given their children life, and everything for their children has to be arranged by themselves. In fact, this is all wet. Never impose your subjective intentions and countless hopes on your children. In many families with unsatisfactory family education, many parents basically ignore this point and constantly impose their intentions and goals on their children during their growth, whether they like it or not. In this way, when the child refuses this imposed offer, the parent-child relationship will conflict, which will affect communication and exchange. Idea 2: discover and cultivate children's self-service consciousness in time. Children's sense of self-service is an instinct and is based on imitation. For example, wearing shoes, clothes, hats, eating, going to the toilet, washing your face, etc. Children will learn to do it when they see their parents' demonstration, as long as their parents give them a chance to try it themselves. When children are encouraged by their parents to gradually expand the scope and field of self-service, they will enjoy the pleasure of doing so. Long-term training will make children diligent, not lazy. Idea 3: discover the advantages of children from multiple angles and appreciate them. Many parents often find "problems" from their children and try to correct their children's problems according to their own judgments and ways. In fact, sometimes the problems found by parents may not really exist, some because of their own wrong ideas, some because of their own irrationality, some because their own methods of solving problems are wrong, and some because they blindly follow other people's educational models. For example, many parents always compare the shortcomings of their children with the advantages of other children. This kind of psychology will even bury the advantages of children and infinitely enlarge their shortcomings, which is very unfavorable for cultivating their self-confidence. Idea 4: Cultivate children to have good habits. Habit is a kind of repeated consolidation of order. The formation of good habits will accompany the child for life and bring endless benefits to the child. Generally speaking, it is easier to guide children to establish good habits when they are 3-6 years old. If parents ignore it, they will pay more hardships and efforts in their children's subsequent growth. Habit content I think it is more appropriate to start from three aspects: living habits, study habits and emotional habits. According to the scientific experiments of family education and parenting experts at home and abroad, it takes 100 days to cultivate good habits. Of course, only under the guidance of parents' role models can children complete it. If you give up halfway for some reasons, you will encounter great difficulties when you develop it next time, at least it will make children lack confidence and trust in their parents. Concept 5: Children's problems originate from their parents. In the process of children's growth, there will be problems of one kind or another. The root of these problems is inexplicably not the children themselves, but the lack of parents' ideas and parenting methods. It is often seen that some parents are accusing their children. At this time, parents should pay attention. When you criticize your child, do you first reflect on whether there is something wrong with your words and deeds, whether you set a wrong example for your child, whether you really understand what your child is thinking through analysis, and why do you do this? Only by truly understanding their psychological and physical characteristics can you help them solve their existing problems.