Tell a few jokes.

A beautiful young lady walked into the dentist's office excitedly. After the doctor prepared the equipment, she sat

fidgety in a chair.

The doctor was about to examine her. She said, "Oh, doctor. I'm afraid of dentists. I'd rather have a baby than have my teeth pulled out.

The doctor said patiently, "All right! Miss, make a good decision before I adjust the chair!

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Title: Churchill-So Decisive

Churchill disapproved of some views of feminist Nancy Astor. The lady was greatly annoyed

"Mr. Churchill, if I were your wife, I would definitely put poison in your coffee"

"If I were your husband"? Churchill answered without hesitation? "I will not hesitate to drink it

!"

-

Title: Churchill-What a surprise

Churchill told the taxi driver to wait outside for a while before sending him back. Who knows that the driver replied firmly to

?

"No, I have to go back to Churchill's speech."

Churchill exulted and immediately gave him a handsome tip. The driver was overjoyed and immediately said,?

"Sir, I think I'd better wait for you here and not listen to Churchill's speech."

-

Title: Churchill-so dissatisfied

Churchill didn't like his son-in-law as an acrobat. One day, the son-in-law asked his father-in-law who he admired most in the Second World War.

Unexpectedly, Churchill said, "Mussolini". Then he added?

"He has the courage to shoot his son-in-law!"

-

Title: Churchill-So Heroic

In Churchill's later years, an American film studio planned to make a biographical film reflecting him, and hired film star Charlie Flaton to play the leading role. Churchill was furious when he learned that Flaton would get a huge reward for playing himself. ?

"First of all, this guy Flaton is too fat. Secondly, he is too old. Since I can get so much money for acting, I might as well do it myself. "

After being strongly discouraged by his family, Churchill gave up his dream as an actor.

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Title: TV anchor's joke

Recently, a joke was circulated among peers:

The news anchor of a TV station often makes some jokes because she lacks common sense but likes to make her own opinions,

One day, this beautiful female anchor saw a message about Taoyuan Airport

that planes are not allowed to land because of the weather. The draft is written like this ... China Airlines Flight p>xxxx hovered over the airport

for a week because the tower could not arrange the landing at the right time ... "The great and beautiful anchor felt that" one week "was too talkative, so when broadcasting news

, he wisely changed" one week "to" one week ". I was still muttering

, "It's not a bit wordy to write a manuscript ..."

Another time, on Arbor Day, the TV station planned a small topic about the resume of Sun Yat-sen.

The hardworking and attentive anchor, of course, silently recited several press releases first, but only

saw one after another on her delicate face. When was there another Japanese named Zhongshan Qiao < P >? ..... "..........

Dear friends, don't think I'm talking nonsense, it's true!

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Title: Miracle

Party A and Party B are arguing about whether there is a miracle in the world

A: If someone falls from the third floor and is safe and sound, what is not a miracle?

b: that's lucky.

a: what if that person falls again but isn't hurt?

b: it's a lucky star.

a: what if it falls again?

b: oh! That is well-trained!

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Title: Connotation

When looking at personals,

Brother: This is not bad, female, twenty-three, feminine, with connotation!

sister: what do you mean by "connotation"?

brother: I just have something in my stomach!

Sister: ... unmarried mother ...

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Title: 3 jokes

< 1. >

Title: Chinese teacher's couplet

In MONO junior high school, a substitute Chinese teacher was very funny, and told an interesting

couplet joke in a class, which made Mono remember vividly:

Su Dongpo had a little sister, who was called Su Xiaomei, smart and talented.

Once Su Xiaomei read the historical records with relish, and Su Sister-in-law saw it. Teasing my little sister, she said,

"My sister reads historical records and thinks a lot."

Su Xiaomei couldn't think of a couplet for a moment, so he had to memorize it.

One day, Sister Su was drying clothes in the courtyard, and the sun was very strong.

Seeing this, Su Xiaomei took off and said,

.

< 2. >

Title: What should I give my girlfriend's father on Father's Day?

What should I give my girlfriend's father on Father's Day?

a: tie

b: razor

c: shirt

d: little grandson! ! ! 』

< 3. >

Title: Give up your seat

Rat and his five-year-old son Xiao Qi just got home from the bus ...

"Mom", Xiao Qi said to her mother A Ling, "Just now, when I took the bus, my father told me to get up and give up my seat to a very beautiful woman.

"Dad, this is right," Ling said. "This is to teach you manners. Men should give their seats to

women.

But I'm sitting on my father's lap!

-

Title: Better die than recruit

There was a bank robbery in a small town in California, and the robber was arrested by the sheriff just after hiding the money.

Since the robber smuggled in from the other side of the Pacific Ocean and could not speak English, the sheriff had to ask MacArthur

to be an interpreter.

After a period of fatigue bombing torture. MacArthur faithfully conveyed Sheriff

' s meaning. Probably the translation was so good that the robbers were so scared that they were incoherent: "The money is in the well in the middle of the town. Please ask him to spare my life."

MacArthur turned his head and told the sheriff with a dignified expression:

"This boy has guts, he would rather die than confess. He told you to shoot him." < It is necessary to compete in groups.

For the convenience of refueling, please think of a team name for each team. It is better to refuel ...

Teacher: What is the name of your group?

the first group: teacher, we are going to call the heroes ...

teacher: hmm ... very good, you are all heroes (give positive praise)

(go to the second group)

teacher: the first group was just called the heroes, and you?

group 2: teacher, teacher, we are going to call the Cherry Maruko Team

Teacher: Hmm ... Great! You are all as cute as small balls (give affirmation)

(go to the third group)

Teacher: What team do you want to call, children?

group leader: teacher, our ...............

teacher: it doesn't matter, take your time ...

group leader: teacher, we are called "Cheerleading Team"

teacher: ...

-

Title: Clinton's joke ...

Talking about Clinton's joke.

halfway through, the car was almost out of gas, so I went to a gas station to refuel. After arriving at the gas station, Clinton told Hillary to go down to refuel and stay in the car for fear that others would recognize her as the president of the United States! Unexpectedly-

Hillary and the owner of the gas station were talking and laughing, and they were very happy. At this time, Clinton could not help feeling jealous

. After filling up the gas, Hillary returned to the car ...

"Who was that man you were talking and laughing with just now? "Asked Clinton jealous.

"oh ~ it's my high school classmate! "Hillary replied.

"and talking and laughing! You, if you had married him, you'd be just a gas station lady now, and that's

the first lady of America! Hum! Clinton said with a little pride.

"You have to understand that if I had married him, the current president of the United States would not be you, but he

yeah ~" Hillary replied seriously.

-

Title: classroom inscription reprinted

If you don't pass high school, you can learn. If you don't cheat deeply, you will be smart.

If you don't pass high school, you will be in the classroom. Only my leisure time

Novels spread quickly. Think about going and watching movies.

You can write love letters and miss your girlfriend.

Although it's not a dance floor, it's like a playground: mix a diploma <

If there are 1 parking spaces ...

You can park 8 cars for Americans-because American cars are big

You can park 1 cars for Germans-because Germans are the most disciplined

You can park 12 cars for Japanese-because Japanese cars are small

If you park for Taiwan Province, you can only park 2 cars. > A joke a long time ago:

A foreigner was behind a junior high school student when buying movie tickets. Because the ticket girl could not speak English,

Please ask the junior high school student standing in front to tell the foreigner behind: Now there are only standing tickets to see if he wants to buy them.

As a result, the junior high school student said to the foreigner, "No seat, you see no see, If see stand see."

(There is no seat left, you can watch it or not, if you want to watch it, stand and watch it) After listening, the foreigner said to the junior high school students,

" I don't understand your English. "When the junior high school students heard it, they said to the ticket girl," He

said he didn't understand English

-

Title: Non-graduate students, um ... probably can't laugh!

In a cave, a rabbit is typing. A fox came in the distance. Seeing it, he felt

very curious and asked the rabbit, "Rabbit! Excuse me, what are you typing? "

The rabbit replied, "I'm typing a paper. The topic is: How do rabbits eat foxes?"

The fox laughed: "What a big joke! How can a rabbit eat a fox? "

The rabbit said, "Since you don't believe me, please come with me and I'll prove it to you!" So the fox followed the rabbit into the cave.

Soon, the rabbit came out of the cave alone and continued typing.

Soon, another wolf came and asked curiously, "Rabbit, rabbit, what are you doing?"

The rabbit replied, "I am writing a paper about how rabbits eat wolves. "

The wolf laughed:" Ridiculous! Ridiculous! How can such an absurd topic be passed? "

The rabbit invited the wolf to the cave again. Soon, the rabbit came out of the cave alone and continued typing.

When the camera returns to the cave, I see two piles of bones on one side of the cave. On the other side, a lion is holding its teeth with broken bones.

Moral:

1. It doesn't matter what the topic of your paper is.

2. It doesn't matter what the content of your paper is.

3. What matters is who the boss of your paper is.