Someone wants to go to the library with you. What should you do if you don't want to go now?

In practical work and study, nine essentials of rejecting false demands are summarized from concepts and skills for reference only.

1 Listen to each other's requirements patiently. Even if you know that the other person must refuse in the middle of speaking, listen to the other person. That is, to show respect for it, but also to understand the main meaning of its requirements more accurately.

Tell the other person clearly the time you want to consider. We often use the excuse of "need to think about it" instead of refusing the request in person. I hope that by delaying time, the other party will retreat. This is wrong. If you don't want to refuse in person immediately, you should clearly tell the other party the time to consider and show your integrity.

Don't blurt out a refusal. Think carefully from the other person's point of view-be sure to show that you understand the importance of this requirement.

Be cheerful when you refuse. First of all, thank each other for thinking of you when they need help, and apologize a little. Note that excessive apology will create the impression of dishonesty, because if you really feel sorry, you should accept the other party's request.

5 attitude should be firm. You can't change your mind just because the other party is convinced again, because it will leave room for manoeuvre for the other party and is irresponsible to yourself and others. Even delay each other's work and sow unpleasant seeds between the two sides.

The reasons for the refusal must be pointed out. It is best to point out sincere and logical reasons for refusal, which is helpful to maintain the original relationship. If you feel that the reasons for refusing are not sufficient, you can also refuse directly without giving a clear reason. Never make up excuses, because lies will be exposed eventually. When you explain the reason, the other party tries to refute it. You must never argue with it, just reiterate your refusal. Argument will turn reason into sensibility.

7 right things, not people. Be sure to let the other person know that you refused his request, not himself.

After refusing, it is best to point out other feasible ways for the other party to deal with their own requirements.

Never refuse through a third party. Rejection through a third party is enough to show a person's cowardice and lack of sincerity.

In addition:

1. Before you say "no", be sure to let the other person know the difficulty and apology of your refusal, be sincere and gentle in language.

2. Avoid ambiguous answers. Think again, the person who talks like this may think it is a refusal, but the person who wants something thinks that the other person really wants to find a way for him, so it will be procrastination.

You missed each other, so don't use vague words.

3. Sincerely explain why you have to refuse until the other person understands that you are helpless, which is the most successful refusal.

In a word, successfully rejecting other people's false requests can save your time and energy, and also avoid the psychological pressure caused by unwilling behavior. The key point is: we must consider the interests of the other party before refusing, so as to achieve the best of both worlds.