A classic joke that is particularly funny every day.

A classic joke that is particularly funny every day.

If you have nothing to do, watch more funny jokes, which can not only kill time, but also add fun to life. Why not? The following are the classic jokes I arrange for you every day. I hope you like them.

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Excerpts from classic jokes that are particularly funny every day 1. The chairman asked the new general manager:? Everyone doesn't pay attention to every meeting. What can we do? The general manager said: this is easy to handle. Don't invite the secretary to the meeting. After the meeting, we will announce who will take the minutes this time. ?

2. The apprentice said:? When I was at school, I thought about how good it would be to go to work, but I felt bored as soon as I went to work. Why not go to school? The master said:? People like you are people who can't learn at school and can't do a good job. What can you do besides going to school? ,? The apprentice asked curiously:? What can I do with it? The master said:? Hang yourself! ?

The headmaster recognized one of his former students: Are you John? Yes, principal? You see, I never forget the students' names. What are you teaching under you now? .

4. I watched my wife kill fish today, all thumbs, and deliberately humiliated her. Do you have anything to do with pigs? Wife:? Hey hey relationship?

5. share a little truth in life: you don't have to worry about what you are afraid of happening, because it will come as scheduled.

6. When buying clothes, the shop assistant (contemptuously): This dress is very expensive. Don't touch it unless you buy it. Jane Doyle: It seems that you are rich? Don't sell it if you have money!

7. The World Cup is over, and I feel extremely depressed. After all, I can't find such a good reason to justify my procrastination in a short time.

8. father:? Did the letter I asked you to bring this morning get thrown into the elevator? Did you report it? Son:? A compliment? Report? Oh, by the way, you forgot to write your name, or I added it! ?

9. Fengtian traffic, the emperor said: Bearing in mind Ai Qing's loyalty and hard work, I gave Ai Qing the right to shop for free. How to get it: Take this short message to a nearby shopping mall and choose whatever you need. It would be nice if he gave you everything. If he doesn't pick it up, he will run. Qin this! Note: The final interpretation right of this message belongs to me.

10. If you want to live with me, you have to live with me first! I'm yellow after I survive. I'm so crazy! I'll be there when it's over. I'm so cool. I'll throw it away when I'm done. I'll put it off!

1 1. Forgive me for being silent at this inappropriate moment, except for harassment. If you wake up accidentally, remind you to cover the quilt and turn off your mobile phone!

12. A friend gave birth to a son and sent a message to a circle of friends, saying: My son's arrival made me very happy, but my wish to find a rich son-in-law for the rest of my life failed. Another idiot friend replied: Your son may find a boyfriend in the future? MD, I want to take a taxi now.

13. Talking about QQ flicker called online dating; Call and fool, call and contact; Send text messages to fool, call hello. What you don't care about is called false flicker, and what you care about is called true flicker. I wish you all the best and be fooled once!

14. I will send a short message worth 10 RMB to all the handsome and beautiful brothers and sisters who have a certain position in my heart. I invite you to a five-star hotel tomorrow? Watch people eat! Please bring your own napkin so as not to get wet with saliva. I wish you all a happy face and a good journey.

15. Yesterday, I was lucky enough to meet an old gentleman at the Grand Master and gave me an elixir. Now I'm also in a very worried state, but something terrible happened immediately: I can see many monsters every day, and the important thing is that I actually found you? Lazy.

16. Aunt Dormitory checked the dormitory last week, and everyone didn't get up in the morning. Aunt criticized why our dormitory was not cleaned, and everyone just wanted to refute it. Aunt said, I really find that the more beautiful the little girl is, the lazier she is.

17. One day, Xiao Qiang ate too much and walked too fast, and met a girl. Xiao Qiang was about to apologize, but his stomach complained and vomited. The girl looked at Xiao Qiang and asked angrily, "Am I so disgusting?" ?

18. A tortoise fell to the ground and kicked around. Sparrow asked: Did you dance Korean street dance? The tortoise replied: No, I'm practicing carp fighting.

19. streaking is an outdoor sport that improvises courage, speed and figure, regardless of venue and gender. This sport originated in Europe and the United States, and has generated many fans in China in recent years. Recently, boys in Hangzhou streaked to protest against the school power failure, and photos were printed on T-shirts for sale, making them as famous as Zeng Ge and leading the new fashion of streaking. Weak asked: Today, did you run naked?

20. Do you want it? Miss? One day, after three boring Chinese classes, the teacher refused to give up. Finally Bao couldn't help shouting, I have to pee! The teacher was furious: How dare you shamelessly ask for "Miss" in my class?

Enjoy the classic jokes that are particularly funny every day. How are you? I miss you. Recently, I always dream of walking with you on that grass. If there is still a chance, just say weakly: only eat grass, not defecate anywhere!

When grandpa was dying, he called his young and ignorant grandson to the bed and swallowed his last breath and said, Son, this world? Be an official! ? The little grandson is an obedient child, and he firmly remembers grandpa's words before his death. Many years later, he finally became the best coffin manufacturer in the village.

3. The biology teacher asked: What are the benefits of having two eyes? A wonderful flower in the class blurted out: one is blind and the other is blind.

4. Lao Zhang went to the city for a holiday and came to a high-class hotel. The waiter took him to his room. Lao Zhang said angrily, let me live in such a small room! ! Attendant: Don't be angry, sir! This is the elevator.

5. The most talented school slogan: Congratulations to the parents of our students, Comrade Yang Liwei, for becoming the first astronaut in China who successfully flew into space!

6. Cultivate the nourishing eight-character decision and say: Voss is going to become a monk. Read aloud five times on the balcony every morning, and you will be alert and have an appetite. For the sake of your health, you must persist!

7. Don't complain about others when you know they speak ill of you. You must reflect on yourself more. Who made you so good?

8. I will send a short message worth 10 RMB to all the handsome and beautiful brothers and sisters who have a certain position in my heart. I invite you to a five-star hotel tomorrow? Watch people eat! Please bring your own napkin so as not to get wet with saliva. I wish you all a happy face and a good journey!

9. The girl in the church said to an old man, please donate some money for God. The old man waved his hand: Don't bother you. I believe I will meet God before you, and then I will give him the money directly.

10. If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smart, then you may have to eat at least a pair of whales?

1 1. President of a small country: The enemy is invading. How many soldiers are we going to fight? Minister of Defence: 400 people. President: Can the Air Force support it? The minister made a phone call and replied: not today, the pilot is sick!

12. For a good friend, I tell you a top secret good news. Housing rental, good lighting performance, no air conditioning, pure natural wind, no living room, bedroom, kitchen and bathroom, eating and drinking Lazar together, the price is very cheap, as long as two pounds a month. Address: Second bridge opening of Chengnan Bridge.

13. Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw stones at my head!

14. When my abdominal muscles are developed and someone asks for directions in the future, I will open my coat and point to my stomach and say, Look, big sister, you are at this intersection, going north and south. Go three blocks south. You will see a big telephone pole on the grass.

15. In the past, when the alarm clock rang, I often had the problem of patting it before going back to sleep, but since I put three mousetraps next to the alarm clock, my problem has been eradicated.

16. Dad hit me twice today, the first time because he saw my two-point report card, and the second time because the report card was from his childhood.

A Zi complained to me: Boyfriend can't do it every time it comes to the critical moment. It seems that when I was with someone a few years ago, I was suddenly frightened and left a shadow. Was he scared by the police's sudden rounds? No, his ex-girlfriend suddenly exploded when he asked for gc.

18. I want to see the sea with you, but I can't grasp the unpredictable future; I want to climb the mountain with you, but I am full of confusion about my future ideal; I wanted to go shopping with you, but the police refused. He said: Don't walk the dog!

19. Can we find a place to have a drink and make friends? Or should I give you my wallet?

20. These are not rubbish! I collect antiques! Of course, you can throw it away if you don't like it.

Selected classic jokes that are particularly funny every day 1. Jia Zhuang Shi: I'm too lazy to cook. I go to my neighbor's house to eat every day. Finally, I actually cured my acne because I was too thick-skinned.

2. If Beethoven is the father of symphony, does it mean that Beethoven's father is a master of symphony?

I am always by your side, and I worry about you again and again. Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I always knew you couldn't take care of yourself. Every time I walk away, you jump out of the pigsty.

Ten years later, the court sentenced the murderer to death for the second time.

I lost all my money, furniture and clothes, and now I go out like an Arab.

6. Everyone! Today is the 10 anniversary of my wife's 30th birthday!

7. Dear users, your phone bill balance is less than 0. 1 yuan. Please pay the phone bill in the near future: selling children, women, rice, iron, houses, land and wives. Thank you for your cooperation! China Telecom.

8. My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I have no chance to interrupt her.

9. Life is really boring. Last month, one of my buddies borrowed 4000 yuan from me and said that he was going to have plastic surgery. Now I don't know what he has become.

10. You are the sun in my heart, but it is raining; You are the moon in my dream, but it is covered by clouds; You are the most beautiful flower in my heart, but it has already bloomed; You are the Chang 'e in the sky, but your face landed first?

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