Seven elements of short message.

We often feel that men are cold and heartless when they break up, leaving no room, as if they have nothing to do with him, but is this really the case?

In fact, many times a man's breakup is very rational and he doesn't feel emotional fluctuations. He just said "let's break up", calm and indifferent, as if talking about other people's business.

So it will give us an illusion that a man's breakup is completely irreversible. Actually, it is not. Men also have feelings. Like us, they will cry, and boys will be emotional and impulsive.

Many times, men are pretending to cheer up, because social orientation and environment do not allow them to show too much sadness, even worse than you, because they have few ways to vent their anger. They may just get drunk in the middle of the night, or avoid thinking for a while, and you will think that you will mistakenly think that they are cold, indifferent and irrelevant.

Similarly, sometimes men don't really want to break up when they break up. Maybe he was forced by you to test his bottom line again and again, but he actually wanted your attention and concern.

So how to express love, how to give love to each other correctly, how to communicate with his heart and save your love?

There are some basic rules for chatting with him. As long as you follow these rules and keep a relaxed atmosphere, you can chat smoothly and lay a good foundation for subsequent recovery.

First of all, it is very important for us to keep a good attitude when chatting. Give yourself a positive psychological hint when chatting, for example, he is very willing to chat with you, he really wants to hear your opinions and feelings, and he still likes you.

An iron rule to pay attention to here is: when you start chatting with friends, never mention your feelings. When you first started chatting with your friend, he was still wary of you, and he didn't get out of this emotional injury. He doesn't want to talk about these things now. He just wants to relax quietly. When you mention feelings, he will only think of the negative things between you and ignite his negative emotions. Besides, you shouldn't tell him about your depression and pain.

For example:

Why not reply? Huh?

I can't live without you. Let's get along!

Do you have the heart to abandon me like this? What did you tell me?

Or talk to him often.

This kind of speech act with negative emotions, as long as you send it out, only the endless silence of the other party will wait for you, and even be hacked again.

Therefore, if you want to save his love with you better, you should have a relaxed and happy chat with him, guide him to see your advantages with positive emotions, think of the happy days with you, and guide him to keep thinking about your good, so that he will remember you, keep thinking about you, start to reflect on his behavior and stimulate his desire to get back together.

In our expected ideal situation, you are willing to talk to each other a few words every day, talk about work and life, talk about yourself, and your feelings will heat up rapidly, so that the other party will gradually have the impulse to get back together with you.

This process needs to be step by step. A watched pot never boils. Don't be too eager to expose the sense of demand and scare him away. Control the frequency and keep the atmosphere relaxed and happy so that the more he talks, the more he wants to talk to you.

The better the atmosphere of chatting, the closer your relationship will be. If you follow this rule, he will be attracted to you again and gradually achieve compound success.

You, Takuwa, talk to him once? How to control it?

You can refer to a regular template of schedule summarized below. When using it, you can adjust the performance when chatting with the other party according to your own situation and the actual situation of yourself and the other party.

Day 1: Say hello and talk briefly.

The next day: don't take the initiative to chat with each other. If he takes the initiative to chat with you, please reply simply and calmly, and don't go into it.

The third day: keep the appearance of the second day, and don't expose your needs.

The fourth day: a little longer than the last chat, talking about something that can make him think again and again.

Day 5: Don't take the initiative to chat, do your own thing and control your emotions.

Day 6: Same as Day 5.

Day 7: Talk to each other for a while and talk about life and work, but just don't talk about feelings and end the topic voluntarily.

Day 8: Same as Day 5.

Day 9: Have a brief talk with him about life and end the topic voluntarily.

Day 10: Same as Day 5.

Day 1 1 day: I talked with him for over an hour. The topic revolves around life, work, my dreams and travel, and keeps a relaxed atmosphere.

Day 12: Same as Day 9.

Day 13: Same as Day 5.

Day 14: Talk to him for about half an hour in the morning, and talk for a while in the evening, and end the topic voluntarily.

After reading the above example, have you found some rules? As long as you gradually increase the frequency of chatting, maintain a reasonable and comfortable chatting atmosphere, and talk about some light topics of mutual interest, the other party will gradually like chatting with you, form a habit, and finally gradually rely on you.

If the chat encounters the indifference and embarrassment of the other person, or the other person vents negative emotions to you, it actually proves that he has deep feelings for you and cares about you. So when you encounter negative emotions, don't escape or lose control of them. If you want to deal with them, you will deepen your relationship.

For example, when you start to feel that the topic atmosphere is wrong and becomes bad, you have the following options to resolve it:

Try to end the chat first, don't continue chatting for the time being, and talk to him in a few days. The beginning of the chat is simply to talk about life, and then take the initiative to end the topic. Try to solve the problem without expanding the discussion topic. Change the subject, etc. ) discuss the core contradiction of the problem in detail, try to make things clear, but calm his emotions first. Calm him down so that he can continue to listen to you. At the same time, control your emotions and don't quarrel, because you know that you have to solve the problem and the ultimate goal is to save it. And when you provide a stable high mood, he will feel your change. Situation 1

Not long after you established an alliance with him, he is still in an imaginary calm period, with negative emotions, and is not ready to discuss problems with you calmly. You can calm his emotions, agree with his feelings at this time, and express some apologies, and then end the conversation politely and actively.

For example, the other person said, "I think you are selfish. I am always there when you need me, and you are never there when I need you. " You never care about my feelings. You just want it. I think it's just that I'm blindly giving. I can't feel that you love me. "

At this time, you can reply: "Yes, I understand how you feel now. I feel selfish sometimes, too. I apologize for those things that hurt you. Now I reflect on myself every day and know myself better. I began to change myself, not like before. I think we may need some time to resume our chat and get to know each other again. I hope you can be happy. "

Situation 2

If he expresses his negative emotions during the chat, but his words are not particularly intense, you can identify with his feelings and then change the subject to continue the chat.

For example, the other person said, "Yes, I am drinking with my friends. Why not talk about big orders with your big customers! " "

In fact, from this sentence, you can see that he is complaining that you are busy with your work and ignore him, not paying attention to his inner feelings, and giving him less care and companionship. At this time, you should say according to the other person's mood, calm him down, and then change the subject.

You can reply: "Ah, I really have to meet a client later, but I was ill for a while before I realized that what you said was so right. I just want to make money here, but I have no life. Now I try to give myself more private time so that I can get along with you and myself in the future. " Who are you with? Old classmates? "

Situation 3

When the other person chats with you to vent their emotions, the problem is very serious and their emotions are out of control. You can explain the problem clearly to avoid further misunderstanding and become an obstacle to recovery in the future.

For example, the other person said, "Can you really change? I really hate those days when you accused me of controlling me and never gave me personal space. You arrogant and selfish person, I don't believe you can change! "

"So when I fell in love with you, I felt that you were the only one for me, the love of my life. No one can take your place in my heart. Nobody can separate us. I want to hug you tightly. I want to love you with all my strength, and I expect you to love me like this. That's why I always blame you. I hope you will be better and more perfect. I have always controlled you, afraid of losing you, afraid of losing love. "

"I realize now that this desire for control will make you so unhappy. I know I have many bad habits. But anyway, I want to be clear with you. Although we are separated, this is my most cherished feeling. I want to make a phone call to make it clear to you. "

At this time, you should pay attention, because now is the high explosion point of the other person's negative emotions. He wants to hear what you say, and he also wants to be comforted. So when you call him, you must first give him a reason that you can't refuse, and then convince him with sincere feelings. You really realize the seriousness of the problem and you have really changed.

Don't be afraid to call at this time, for fear of losing him in a bad mood. In fact, the stronger his emotions, the higher his sense of need. When he takes it out on you like this, he hopes you can give him a good explanation and comfort, so that you can comfort him well. So at this time, the other party will basically answer.

But you should be careful not to mention getting back together with him at this time. Otherwise, it will fall short.

The first message after the establishment of the alliance is very important, but if you become a text message after breaking up, the WeChat bombing will become excessive entanglement, which will only make the situation worse and worse. When disconnecting, you need to make some positive self-changes.

So what's the first news about this reunion?

You can get together through some beautiful memories, guide him to establish contact, say that these memories remind you of him, and then write some interesting things about your memories. Remember this message to keep a relaxed attitude. So he will be more willing to reply.

For example, "I passed by Shanghai Road today and saw the restaurant we had been to before. Their new product is Juxiang fried chicken, which is quite good. I remember the last time we went together, on the way back from Nezha. By the way, how have you been recently? What are you busy with? "

In addition to common memory guidance, you can also link recent interesting things to guide the topic and create topic dimension expansion.

For example, "I have time to see the little prince recently. I didn't read anything you recommended to me before. Now I feel so beautiful, so warm and so touched, so sincere. That little fox is really cute. Hey, are you still so thin? " When its short legs run away, its ass twists, haha. "

We can seek help and advice in time in areas where each other is good at each other's self-confidence and pride, so as to enhance each other's pride and sense of identity. It is a very simple and effective way to close the relationship between two people and enhance their goodwill.

For example: "I want to buy a mobile phone, which is more cost-effective and better quality?" Good performance? "

He replied, "What price do you want? Huawei's current high-end and high-end models are good. "

You can say, "Oh, you still know electronic products best. I'll go and see Huawei's. What have you been up to recently? "

Or you say, "How did you cook pot-wrapped meat before? Your cooking is the best. I want to cook it for myself recently, but sweetness is different for you. The food I cooked is not delicious. He said that the pot meat should use fructose, fructose is delicious, not sugar. You said: Oh, you are too 6, expert. How to make the head of pickled fish in Hunan cuisine? Awesome! "

When you want him to ask questions, be true and natural and close to life. Don't let him feel that you are chatting with nothing to say. The questions you ask can finally remind you of your good memories of the past, remind him of your good old days and inspire his heart anchor.

If you make a lot of mistakes after breaking up, then the above method is not suitable.

Then we can play hard to get.

Sincerely apologize for your entanglement, complaints and negative practices during the breakup. Frankly express that you have accepted the breakup, and you just want to be friends with him. Even if you break up, there is no need to ignore each other. Tell him how you have changed, such as expressing yourself in the right way and trying to change yourself positively. After you send him a message for the first time and he replies to you, you should start to build your attraction to him. And set out to build trust, which is the cornerstone of feelings.

So, how to send information to build attraction and trust?

You need to think about several points first:

What do you think attracts him most? (personality? Do you know what his ideal type is? His personality (introverted or extroverted) treats different personalities with different attractions. You know his personality. What attracted him most? How can he easily generate trust?

Send a message you like, start with his interest points, guide the topic, drive the content and atmosphere of your chat, show your positive emotions in the message, and let him imagine what you are like at this time. In this way, he will think of you repeatedly in his mind and bury his heart anchor.

How to send messages to build trust?

In fact, although you are separated from him, you have a deep emotional foundation and deep trust in your intimate relationship. You should grasp this.

I suggest you keep a sincere and frank contact with him. If he asks you that you have been actively contacting him recently, do you still want to get back together? This is impossible!

You can answer honestly but skillfully. I thought from the bottom of my heart at first, but I respect what is happening now. I will face the facts frankly and bravely. I understand why we broke up, and I think it's really a good choice to separate according to the situation at that time. Now I have come out of my breakup and started my own life. I sent you a message, just thinking that we are friends and it is normal to talk.

In this way, you will find that he won't make you look helpless or pessimistic, or he will let his guard down because he may want to keep in touch with you after seeing your change and positive attitude.

In addition, you can:

What did you think after the breakup? What did you learn? What did you learn? What I did.

Talk about your inner thoughts, your anxiety, and your views on the wrong things you did in the past because of anxiety.

Talk about your feelings about living in great events, such as interpersonal relationship, love, partner, career, etc.

You should encourage him, agree with him and praise him.

When he speaks, listen to him, put yourself in his shoes, understand his psychology, his thoughts and his feelings, and try to look at the problem from his point of view.

When you get back together with him and just establish contact, sending WeChat is the best and most appropriate choice. Of course, the effect is far less than talking on the phone or face to face, because when you talk face to face with him on the phone, you feel like your boyfriend and girlfriend when you were sweet before, and the tone and rhythm of your speech can better and more intuitively express your positive emotions and attitudes.

So we have a good chat atmosphere on WeChat. After your feelings have warmed up to a certain extent, we will find a chance to make a phone call.

For example, you often talk to him recently, and the atmosphere is good. He also takes the initiative. You can try to make a phone call. But need to find a good reason, such as:

You: Doudou (your best friend, his high school classmate) found a boyfriend who looks like Li Xian, and they were very funny when they confessed.

He: Ah, what's the matter? Tell me about it! Ah ha ha

You: I'll call you to tell you that typing is slow, and you should learn her intonation haha.

This kind of introduction is natural. What you need is a natural introduction, and then get through to each other and start chatting.

So what's the next call? After the phone call, when your atmosphere is getting better and better and your relationship is getting further, you will start to invite, so how do you invite?

Asking him out is an important step. At this time, he is usually very cautious, because they are afraid of giving you wrong signals and hints, and you are afraid of pestering him. This is what I mentioned. You and he have established enough trust.

So before you prepare the invitation, you have called several times before, and the chat frequency is high, and the atmosphere is similar to that of your passionate love.

After you have established enough trust with him, he will take the initiative to invite him, but if not, you can simply guide him.

For example, the clown recently released. Oh, I hear it's very good. I want to see it.

He would say, I want to go, too? Who are you going with?

You said: Oh, maybe it's myself.

He said: Then let's go together.

After the pleasant invitation, your relationship will break through and get back together soon. If he is more active, he may directly contribute to getting back together.

When saving, we should show courage and determination, act immediately after determining the correct way to save, don't worry too much, the opportunity is fleeting, seize the opportunity and win our true love.

Everyone has the right to love and be loved, but love and courage alone are not enough. We should learn to love and express love in the right way. Let's grow and change ourselves together, work hard for love and come on.

May we be better ourselves every day!