Looking for some flirty text messages that you can send to your boyfriend when you are in love.

1. The construction team was too irresponsible when renovating the house, so my boyfriend started a fight with them, and I came over to break up the fight.

Boyfriend: You are here just in time, stand up straight against the wall - did you see it? This is called a tie! Do you dare to call the bricks on your wall flat? ! !

Construction team:...

2. A girl in the building lost her bra to dry, she was angry! He provocatively said on the blackboard downstairs: I don’t believe my E-cup bra can be worn by girls in our building! "

That night, the bra was hung on the dormitory doorknob...

3. In the office, the instructor roared: "Today's college students are too unqualified. Copy*** actually uses cutting! ”

4. MM: I was angry with you a few days ago!

Me: Why? It seems that I didn’t offend you.

MM : The other day I asked you if you could only choose between 5 million and a lover, but you chose 5 million, so I got angry.

What about me? I haven’t apologized to you yet, right?

MM: No, but then I thought about it, and I would choose 5 million, so I forgive you now~

Me:… …

5. The current financial crisis is too outrageous. After the interview just now, I called to ask something later, but I didn’t expect that even the interviewer was fired!

6. The Spring Festival travel train was too crowded, and the girl next to me couldn’t bear it anymore, so she asked me if she could squeeze in for a while, but there were four people in the three seats, and there were still spaces between the seats. There were many people standing, but I couldn’t stand in such a small place... Just as I was hesitating, MM was so tired that she didn’t care about anything. “I’m too tired, so I’ll just sit on your lap.” "She just sat down, and while chatting with me, she joked: "Actually, this is not bad, I didn't expect that I can get a soft seat..." Before she finished speaking, MM stood up and exclaimed: "Oh my God, It seems that I got complacent too early, the soft seat has become a hard seat~~~"

7. I just went to the teacher's office to answer questions. I saw the teacher grading papers while listening to Buddhist music. When asked why, the answer was: "Listen It's easier to be merciful when grading papers while listening to Buddhist music, otherwise these little bastards will all fail! "-.-

8. GG (nervously): Do you have feelings for the boss in our dormitory?

mm (slightly): No.

< p>GG: So - do you have feelings for the second child?

MM: Is this... or not?

Is this something you don’t know yet? Are you clear?

MM: Oh, no!

GG (takes a long breath): Do you have feelings for me?

mm: No.

GG: This...can be...

MM: This, really not~

9. Lying lazily on the small bed, My girlfriend imitated the voice in the advertisement and said coquettishly: "I am your Yulemei~"

My eyes lit up when I heard this: Ah, that's great! Come on, let me take care of it! Insert it!

10. After the first intimacy, I asked MM how she felt, and saw MM holding out a McDonald’s coupon with a blushing face. I felt so happy...

11. MM sent a text message asking: The Japanese Ninja Turtles have injured their heads. Do you think the Japanese Ninjas or the Japanese Ninja Turtles are more pitiful?

12. The senior sister came back one night to study with a gay. My sister felt very depressed, and then the gay man thoughtfully cooked her a bowl of noodles. She felt very warm, so she was moved and said, "Let's just make do with it~" Unexpectedly, the gay man jumped up from his stool. Said: "That won't work, you don't have a man, but I do have a man! ”

13. During the interview, the HR said dismissively: “There are many people who graduated from Peking University and Tsinghua University. What do you have to show off from Zhejiang University?” MM pointed to her chest confidently and said, "Zhejiang University is Zhejiang University. Do you accept it?" ! ! ”

14. Three months ago, a little girl was transferred from the work unit. She was not only beautiful but also had constant phone calls all day long. At first glance, she looked like the type to be chased by a lot of people. There were a lot of bachelors in the work unit, and I was the only one who was interested in her. She ignored him.

One day when she was about to get off work, she finally couldn't help coming over and said something that I will never forget - she said: "Brother Huang, don't blame me for being quick to talk. If you are physically sick, you should get treatment early~"

15. Go exercise at 4-5 o'clock in the morning. At that time, the sky was still bright and everything was quiet. Suddenly, I saw a man walking across the street. When he saw my sister, he asked fiercely: What are you doing there?

Tsinghua students are quick-thinking. My sister was afraid that she would meet a bad guy and didn’t want to be robbed, so she said, "Go and borrow money..."

"Why are you borrowing money?" ?" the man asked fiercely.

MM was afraid of being robbed, so she said: "I have a sexually transmitted disease and I don’t have money to treat it..." 16. After waking up at home at noon, I ate two oranges. My fingers turned yellow after eating, and I didn’t wash my hands before eating. Went to school. While chatting in the afternoon, a classmate said: "Why are you so disgusting? You still don't wipe your fingers after you pooped!" I said it wasn't poop, it was caused by eating oranges at noon, and after saying that, I rubbed my fingers. It was miserable in just two days. The whole school knew that there was a classmate in our school who used his fingers to wipe his butt when he pooped. After he pooped, he would rub his fingers from time to time and said it smelled of orange...

17. Zhang Yimou : Do you want to participate in the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games directed by me?

mm: I don’t have the right background!

Zhang: Definitely give me the camera!

MM: I won’t do it if the camera cuts past the face without seeing it!

Zhang: Your appearance will definitely last more than an hour!

mm: I won’t come if you stand still!

Zhang: Guaranteed to make you jump!

mm: So good? Okay, I agreed~

After being unspoken, the girl danced for two hours in the welcoming cheerleading ceremony for the athletes and cried into tears...

18 , chatting with her senior sister about the boy she had been in love with for a long time but had not contacted for a long time.

Me: Now that you two are in contact, you have to take the initiative to pursue me!

Senior sister: I’m already old, so don’t harm others~

Me: Maybe he is expecting you to harm him.

Sister: I am cold now...

Me: No matter how cold the water is, it will burst out with strong energy after being thrown into a piece of quicklime!

Senior: Alas, the water here will never boil in my life...

Me: So you need to find quicklime, which is CaO~

< p>19. At around 10 o'clock in the evening, a young couple was hanging out at the gate of the community.

Girl: "Today is my birthday, what romantic gift have you prepared for me?"

Boy: "I will let the buildings opposite light up for you, and all the cars will light up for you." How about you blowing the whistle?"

Girl: "Liar, you are so capable?"

The boy didn't say anything, but he took out a kicker from nowhere. While lighting it, I just heard two bangs, which were particularly loud in the quiet night. All the voice-activated lights in the building opposite were turned on. The whole building was brightly lit, and the alarm of the private car parked downstairs was turned off. There was a scream.

As a result, the girl laughed so hard that she happily fell into the boy's arms...

20. In the evening, a female student was walking outside the school gate, and suddenly she found a wallet on the ground. So I bent down to pick it up. At this time, the thief who had been hiding behind her for a long time took advantage of the night and used a pair of special pliers to cut off the gold necklace around her neck, then turned around and ran away. The female student picked up the wallet and found that there was nothing in it, so she threw the wallet on the ground and walked away. The thief was very happy after going back. He thought that he had made a fortune now. This heavy gold necklace was at least half a tael, so he went to the gold shop to sell it. Unexpectedly, when the clerk saw it, he threw the gold necklace out of the door and said: "TV Did you spend 198 on it while shopping? It’s fake!” The thief’s self-esteem was greatly hurt. The more he thought about it, the more angry he became. He was so angry that he couldn’t sleep at night. The next day, the thief took the fake necklace to block the female student at the school gate, but he actually blocked the girl. Without saying a word, the thief went up to her and slapped her hard several times. Then he threw the necklace to the ground and angrily pointed at the female student and cursed: "You are still a college student. You said you are greedy for money and vain. Who the hell are you?" Product!