The funniest classic sentence about the funniest classic sentence

A selection of the funniest classic sentences

1) The land of feng shui is not filled with mountains and water, but buried with you.

2) Fifty cents and fifty cents are the happiest, because they make up a piece.

3) I am fat when I want to lose weight, but my wallet that wants to gain weight is getting thinner.

4) I have been running in the field of hope, and it is inevitable that I will not stumble over the stone of disappointment.

5) In the past, when we were talking about friends, we would ask others if they had any friends. Now you have to ask others if they are gay.

6) Why is there a moon on Bao Qingtian's forehead? Because he doesn't understand my darkness during the day.

7) Why do crabs walk sideways with pliers? They are willful!

8) Don't challenge my patience with your temper, or you will die beautifully.

9) Hello, the number you dialed has passed away, please redial in your next life.

10) Apple is the real leader of fruit industry. One seduced Eve, one awakened Newton, one became a mobile phone brand, and the other dominated the square dance.

Complete works of the funniest classic sentences

1) If she dares to steal money today, she will dare to steal someone tomorrow, with one-stop operation.

2) How do you know what tastes best if you don't miss some crooked melons and cracked dates?

3) Don't push me, or I will become great and out of control.

4) You never know how ugly you are unless you confess, and you never know how bad your character is unless you borrow money.

5) Jealousy is a knife, either inserted in others or in yourself.

6) Actually, I don't like loneliness at all. Why do you always come to me?

7) Sad people love to drink, while lonely people love to sing old songs.

8) I have been teaching others how to sell goods all my life, but no one has taught me how to die.

9) Jokes can be divided into cold jokes and hot jokes. Who doesn't know humor?

10) Love usually means abandoning a fool and asking for a liar.

1 1) My girlfriend is dating another man behind my back. Oh, your girlfriend is really strong.

12) this man doesn't know much about music, so sometimes he is unreliable and sometimes he is out of tune.

13) never became an excellent college student, relying on strong quality!

14) In those years, the math teacher patted the blackboard and shouted: Probably? Do you want to make an appointment?

15) I didn't like you at first, and then I didn't like you even more.

16) putting down the butcher knife means that the other party will split you in two at the moment you put down the butcher knife.

17) brushing your teeth is a bittersweet thing. Cup in one hand and washing utensils in the other.

18) Sleeping after midnight is equal to chronic suicide, skipping breakfast is equal to chronic suicide, frequent barbecue is equal to chronic suicide, turning on the mobile phone for several hours is equal to chronic suicide, staying indoors for a long time is equal to chronic suicide, complaining too much is equal to chronic suicide, and lack of exercise is equal to chronic suicide. I suddenly found out that I did nothing all day and fucking committed suicide!

19) at ten o'clock in the evening, my wife on a business trip called. The following is the dialogue! Daughter-in-law: Where are you? Me: At home! Daughter-in-law: Really at home? Didn't go out fooling around? Me: Are you sick again? I'm not at home. Where is it? Daughter-in-law: Well, go to the door in the middle of the refrigerator and see what's in the third compartment. I went to have a look and there was a photo of us. Tell her. Daughter-in-law: Yes. Then you are at home, go to bed early!

No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

2 1) Being in a daze is called deep if it is done well. If you can't do it well, you are likely to fall asleep.

22) In the hospital, the doctor told her husband that there was nothing serious wrong with your wife's health. Follow her a little when you get home, try not to quarrel with her, and try to satisfy her if you have any requirements. It's best to take her out for a trip twice a year to make her happy and recover soon. Husband came home and said to his wife: wife, the doctor said that you have no cure for this disease.

23) I always feel that a bed that is too neatly paved will mean a little to spend my old age. Well, it's still messy and energetic.

24) I prayed to Jesus to give me a stable and stable life. He thought for a moment and said, let's talk about world peace first.

25) I asked him: Husband, do you think I am ugly? I thought my husband would say: the baby is not ugly at all. As a result, I dropped two words: not too much.

26) The full text of the primary school student's composition "Tangle" is as follows: I broke up with Duan Wuji and am now waiting for Zhong Qiujie, but in fact I like Fang Shujia very much and miss her very much. But her sister Fang is more beautiful, and I like her better. But my heart has always loved walking on snow, and how much I want to be with her forever ~ of course, her sister is still working.

27) The unfairness of this world lies in: God said: I want light! So there was this day. The beauty said: I want a diamond ring! So she bought a diamond ring. The rich man said: I want a woman! So he had a woman. I said: I want to take a shower! I can't believe the water was cut off.

28) Teacher, just follow the old lady! It's been a long time, teacher, please spare the old woman!

29) If you ask your friends around you, if nine out of ten people say they don't know, then this is an opportunity. If ten people and nine people know it, it is an industry.

30) I'm not a fortune teller in the square, so I can't say so much as you like.

3 1) Stupid man+stupid woman = marriage; Stupid man+smart woman = divorce; Smart man+stupid woman = extramarital affairs; Smart man+smart woman = romantic love.

32) Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age!

33) When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

34) Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing art!

If you fish, people will eat you.

36) Teachers should be careful when their moral standards are not awake when they are particularly sleepy.

37) Today, I saw an old woman fall on the street. I ran to help her up. As a result, she seems to fall down again. I thought I was going to blackmail me. I decisively fell to the ground first, twitching and foaming at the mouth. The old woman froze, and I squirmed while twitching, about two meters away. I got up and patted the dust and left. The old woman was still in a daze.

38) People have gold under their knees. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!

39) Never say forever, who can promise the future? All we can grasp is the local feelings at that time. But life is made up of countless now, and every moment is forever.

40) When dealing with people, listen more and talk less. That's why God gave us a mouth and two ears.

The most classic and funny sentence

The most classic and funny sentence

1. If the son is disobedient, he can fight appropriately, otherwise he will not show the majesty of Lao Tzu. This is the case in Taiwan Province Province.

When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's cassock. ...

I can't close the garden in spring, so I'll draw an apricot out of the wall.

I wanted to be a problem of juvenile, but I have been following the rules for so many years.

It's raining, don't forget to take an umbrella. If you get wet, gonorrhea will be in trouble!

6. Without hair, dandruff is more prominent!

7. A fat man claimed that he was not a clown.

8. Describe your life with your 2B pencil.

9. No matter how ugly you are, you should fall in love and talk about a world full of love.

10. I really envy you for knowing me so young.

1 1. Since I became a bubble, no one dared to step on my head.

12. Take the title of big milk and enjoy the treatment of second wife!

13. Other people's money and wealth are things outside their bodies.

14. Everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.

15. We are all farsighted, which blurs our recent happiness.

16. There is absolutely no feeling after drinking a catty of white wine, because you died after drinking half a catty.

17. I refuse to obey anyone when I am drunk, just hold the wall.

18. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

19. I struggled with fat and almost didn't sacrifice.

20. Take off my clothes, I am an animal. Put on my clothes. I'm the devil wears Prada!

2 1. Since ancient times, whoever has no Shǐ has no paper to go to the toilet.

22. You can't blame others for standing up straight and looking down at you when you are crawling on the ground.

23. Money is not a problem, but no money.

Please don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital.

25. I am not a customer service staff, and you have no right to ask me to answer this and that.

26. Driving is not difficult, but there are new people.

27. The sexiness of the soul is the real sexiness in the bones.

28. Never seen such a disgusting school-set the mid-term exam on May 8th!

29. Were you vomited three times after you were born, but you were only caught twice?

30. Think about the salary, forget it, and don't want to live.

3 1. I am still young and need some advice. But I don't need your advice …

Girl, your bed is always busy with people coming and going.

33. Friends around me, quickly become famous, so that my memories can be recorded and sold well. ...

34. Give me a fulcrum, and I will put my neighbor's car in the ditch so that he won't honk when he sees me.

35. House prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men. ...

Appreciation of the most classic funny sentences

When I was a child, I liked to play hide and seek. When all my friends were hiding, I sneaked home.

2. How many times have I told you not to always use cactus as a toothpick?

There are only two days in a year that I like least, that is, sunny day and rainy day.

4, finally have time to stretch, abdominal muscles tense.

5, this year's senior high school entrance examination is actually very simple, but I will, it won't, I won't, it will take all the exams.

6, Confucius can't solve the problem, simple, I will help you solve it.

7. I don't know if it's because of its petals or its thorns.

8. What is the beauty of makeup? Show us the ability to remove makeup.

9. You said that you just came into this world without considering our feelings?

10, Xiao Mo once crossed it: all that glitters is not gold, but mistress cannot be measured.

1 1. When I was a child, Mommy always liked to coax us into saying that it was picked up from the toilet.

12, I'm not toilet paper. I can't do it. Every girl needs it every day.

13, girls care about the happiness of the second half of their lives, while boys only care about the comfort of the lower half.

14. The most painful thing in life is that the price of instant noodles eaten every day has increased.

15, the friendship in this society is like a vase, which will break when it is smashed.

16, I wanted to turn gracefully, but I didn't know it was gorgeous.

17. When happiness suddenly knocks on the door, I hesitate to turn left or right.

18, demo, if I hadn't hit you, I would have turned my face.

19, remember, whoever dares to provoke you in the future, you should show your shoulders and say, come out.

20. Well, women always don't want to go to work for 30 days every month.

2 1, I think it's time to go back to Mars. It seems that the earth is not suitable for me.

22. You deleted my QQ directly. Thank you for making a decision for me.

23. If one day I die, remember that I am absolutely bored to death.

24. Shenzhouxing, I suppose? I don't pay the phone bill, but I'll see if you can.

25, flying straight down three shits, but unfortunately I didn't bring any paper!

26. As the saying goes, women like bad men and don't like bad men.

27. When I get old, I'll have a perm and be a western-style old woman.

28. If a man doesn't want to dress you in a wedding dress, you can just give him a cassock.

29. You are the Mona Lisa, smiling at everyone every day.

30. See who is shorter if you can. Look, I'm a loser.

3 1, I am the Prince Charming Tang Priest in your heart!

The process of meeting us is like this: love at first sight, then decline, and finally fatigue.

I want to shut myself in the refrigerator in this weather.

Years later, you walked on your red carpet and I crossed my zebra crossing.

35. The letter of guarantee is only a promise not to study in the future.

I'll give you any drill you want, but now there's only one brick.

37. My dream is to have a cat that can only be dragged out for a walk.

38. People say you are ugly, but I think your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

The funniest sentence

1, I am poor, please don't rob the tomb!

I thought that no one would recognize me as long as I was as black as coal, but I was wrong. I was completely wrong. Now I'm shiny black.

If there were not too many cheaters, I would have sold my kidney!

4. I'll be a worker when you enter a foreign company, because that's a day when there are a lot of invigilators-sit in front of me! Life!

I received a short message from my mobile phone. There is a monkey in the zoo, so ugly that everyone vomits. One day I went to vomit. One day you went and the monkey threw up.

6. I drew a coffin in which you were lying with her. How nice of me to let you die together.

7. The foreign girl who doesn't go to our school doesn't know that she is a bird. No wonder Zhao Chuan was so sad when she sang this song.

8. Work is so interesting! Especially watching others work.

9. Girls are like moon cakes in Mid-Autumn Festival. After fifteen nights, they are worthless!

10, bid farewell to masturbation and look for love. Exercise JJ every day and enjoy it.

1 1, don't think that just because a girl is beautiful can seduce me, at least she is stupid enough!

12. Now hospitals can compete with the speed of ATM machines for money. The funniest sentence

13. When listening to the lecture in the church, we should keep quiet. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

14, today, the invigilator said: I will hand out the paper quickly, so do you. When you're done, go home to your mother.

15, why hasn't the old man's junk come yet?

16, don't eat meat

17, Czechoslovakia! My name is Jack, and my wife always complains about me like this. (JACKSLOWFUCK)

18, does everyone know one or more people who like news broadcast, and everyday life is nothing more than lying?

19, it's been a long time since anyone blew a cow so fresh.

20. Love is a luxury. It's like a fox coat in a Paris window, so dazzling and charming, but the price tag on it will wake people up. Love is also a luxury, you can only look at it from a distance, don't fantasize, don't touch it, because it is indispensable to meet the right person at the right time and in the right place.

2 1, reduce the number of boys behind each girl to 6!

22. The wife is a big tree, and the lover is a grass. Planting a big tree is good for enjoying the cool, and raising a piece of grass is good for walking birds, which is a harmonious society and environmental protection.

23. Crazy people with mental disorders are not terrible. What's terrible is a madman in his right mind.

When I was a child, my teacher told me that everyone has a diligent villain and a lazy villain. You hesitate, they fight. Diligent villains often beat lazy villains out of the water in primary school, tied in junior high school, and lazy villains often win in high school. But when I got to the university, I suddenly found that they stopped playing, and the damn diligent little man was killed.

25, on impulse, the crisis of later generations! Complete works of the most interesting sentences

26, everyone is drunk and I wake up alone, Lao Tzu is not serious!

27. If a man is fined for illegal parking, he will quarrel with the police and the woman will persuade him. If a woman is fined for parking illegally, she will have an argument with the man around her, and the police will persuade her.

28. Is money really that important to you? I talked for more than three hours and didn't leave a penny behind.

29. Get up every morning and shout: Fuck Japan. This is not only good for health, but also can cultivate patriotic moral sentiments!

30. When you were a child, your mother hung a bone for you and at least had a dog to play with!

3 1. What did you look like before the accident?

32. From heaven to hell, I pass by!

33. I would rather sacrifice the last virgin in China than leave any Japanese virgin!

34. If there is no medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark.

35. It is much more difficult to catch brain cells than eggs.

36. I didn't give women at first, but then I was anxious for women!

37, a woman lying in a row, took off her clothes and turned it over to see if she could shoot X.

38. When a woman's unit sends out 1,000 yuan, she will tell the man that she sent out 1,000 yuan and her friend that she sent out 500 yuan. When a man sends a thousand dollars, he will tell a woman that he sent 500 dollars and a friend that he sent 1,500 dollars.

Don't be like a trash can, always loading, loading and loading the latest and funniest sentences.

40. The party member activity of the Department of Mathematics forced girls to clean the boys' dormitory, which was really outrageous!

4 1. My similarities with my father are different.

42. When a person walks into the library, he needs to borrow a copy of "Self-directed Day". The librarian roared, Get out! If you don't pay it back, you won't borrow it!

43. When the sky falls, you hug me, hehe.

44. Look at the konjac flower from a distance, look at Lady Enforcers from a close distance, and look at the cannibal flower carefully.

45. Adults are overdue children and the elderly are invalid adults.

46. Praise a female classmate in person: You are really a lotus flower!

47. I study professional academic issues such as Tyrannosaurus Rex feed, eunuch fertility, and how much start-up capital is needed for real estate on Mars.

48. Lovers eventually become house slaves, and those who have houses are well off.

49. Teacher, just follow the old lady! It's been a long time, teacher, please spare the old woman!

50. Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

5 1, fill her emptiness with your surplus!

52. When you are lovelorn, even if you see two straight rails, you can't help but imagine them as two lines of tears flowing to the horizon.

53. Doing 100 good deeds with leaders is better than doing a bad deed with leaders.

54. Oh, my God! My clothes have lost weight again.

55, don't ask for the right door, just feel in place.

In order to cooperate with the successful completion of family planning work in China this year, I decided not to contact friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

Not long ago, Xiaoming took part in a small military training. Just got home one day, Xiao Ming's mother asked Xiao Ming to count whether all the chickens had entered the nest. Xiao Ming went to the chicken nest and said to the chicken, Count off!

When I see a B, I always keep my head down. It is not that I am educated, but that I am looking for bricks.

59. I remember that all of us were strangers to teachers when we first entered junior high school. Once in a math class, the teacher wanted a classmate to do a problem on the blackboard, but he forgot the name. It happened that the classmate was very fat. Our teacher pointed at the child and made him cry. Let's do this problem.

60. W: I want to find a boyfriend. M: Let me help you. There is a good one in our dormitory. Woman: Aren't you distressed that I am with him? . Man: Think too much? Don't worry, I have nothing to do with him.

6 1. When cooking, a crab pushed out of the pot cover and said to me, it's so hot! I told it: I can bear it if I want to be red.

If the leader doesn't give me a raise next month, I'll resign. Before I resign, I will give him two Chinese and kill him.

63. It's a manhole plug and a manhole socket!

64. I don't like sleeping with a woman many times, but I like sleeping with many women only once.

65. Don't think that you can scamper for a few more days just because you are younger than me. The coffin is filled with dead people, not old people!

66. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but that I am in Sina Weibo and you are in Tencent Weibo.

It pains me to see skinny African refugees on TV, but my grandmother said, honey, don't be fooled by TV now. They will have no money to eat, and their mother will take them to have a perm!

68. If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before you die.

69. Only women and English are sad, and only wives and jobs are hard to find!

Mean is a universal truth, and you and I are just one of them.