The jokes that couples can tell each other must be funny. Nasty jokes that make girls laugh are also acceptable.

1. Xiao Ming asked his father: Dad, am I a stupid boy? ? Dad said: Silly boy, how can you be a stupid boy?

2. The old couple went to take pictures. The photographer asked: "Uncle, do you want side light, backlight, or full light?" The uncle said shyly: "I don't care, can I give it to you?" Auntie, do you keep a pair of underwear? "

3. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: I don't step on mice and pinch my feet every day; C: I don't do it every day. The street has been rough a few times; Ding: It’s getting late, let’s go home and pick up the cat.

4. A group of ants climbed onto the elephant's back, but were shaken off. Only one ant held on to the elephant's neck tightly. The ants below shouted: strangle him to death. Choke him to death, little boy, and you fucking did it the other way!

5. 20 years ago, when your father was holding you while waiting for the bus, everyone laughed at your child for looking ugly, and your father cried. An old man selling bananas patted my father and said, "Brother, don't cry. Give the monkey a banana to eat! It's so pitiful. It's so hungry that it has no hair on it."

6. There is an old farmer here. While we were hoeing in the field, a crow flew by and pooped on the old farmer's face. The old farmer raised his head and cursed: "Your mother! You don't even know how to wear underpants when you go out!" The crow said: "! You're wearing underpants when you poop. Yeah! "

7. There was a fat man...

Jumped from a tall building...

The result became .......

Damn fat guy...---------

8. A woman used counterfeit money to buy breakfast. The vendor was annoyed: "Sister, it doesn't matter if you give me counterfeit money. At least it's stamped. Yours is actually a painting! To say the least, forget it's a painting. You can't even give me a ten-dollar or five-dollar note. Okay, why don’t you draw something worth seven dollars! Seven dollars, at least, it has to be in color. You have to use a pencil. Forget it, it’s just black and white, but you can’t draw it with paper! Oops, even if it’s toilet paper, you have to use scissors to cut all the edges. This one is torn by hand. The raw edges are too exaggerated. Okay, I can tolerate the raw edges, but you also tear it into a rectangle. This triangle is too unreasonable. 9. During a military exercise, a cannonball strayed far away from a tree. The soldiers sent to check found that the cannonball fell in the farmland and there was a man standing in the field. The farmer, whose clothes were torn and his face was dark, said with tears in his eyes: Does stealing a cabbage deserve to be bombarded?

10. The man was out on a business trip and suddenly came home. He heard a man snoring at the door. The man walked away silently and sent a text message to his wife: Get a divorce

Three years later, his wife told him that he was Rising's little lion back then!

These should be all. Okay, it’s best not to tell dirty jokes, except for those with deep feelings:

1 It’s better to pretend. Me: Man, where did you get rich recently?

Man: Oh, do something. Small business is not about making a fortune.

Me: You can be the boss.

Brother: (smiling proudly)

Me. : By the way, I’m getting married. Remember to come over for the wedding banquet.

Brother: What, please speak louder. Hello, the signal is not good here.

Me: ( Yelled) You are so fake, I am calling your landline

Brother:...

2This is the truth

Friend. We were discussing mistresses, some despised them and some envied them. Someone asked: "If you want a mistress, what is the most important thing you need?" "Some people answered: Car, money. Others answered: House. Suddenly, a voice came from a corner: "You must first have a wife. "The whole audience was silent...

3 Don't come again, I love a man

She met him who was lovelorn and drunk on a rainy night, and she fell in love with him without hesitation from then on. . She cooked, washed, and took care of the household affairs for him, but he always just looked at her. Finally one day, he said to her: Don't come again, I love men.

With a look of shock on her face, she threw him down on the bed and said: Damn! If you hadn't told me earlier, I would have almost become crazy pretending to be a woman! !

4 Have sex? roll!

Has this girl promised me? A netizen asked: "I've wanted to hook up with a girl for a long time.

Today I finally mustered up the courage to say that gorgeous thing: "Would you like to have sex?" "

Her answer was also very firm: "Get out! "

Please tell me...did this girl promise me?"

5 The conversation between a virgin and a virgin made me laugh so hard

A man and a woman Friends are having sex with each other, but the man wants to take a step further.

Male: Are you a virgin?

Female: Well, are you a virgin?

Male: Of course!

Female: This is the first time. I’m afraid of pain, so I’d better not do it.

Male: I will be very careful and it won’t hurt.

Female: Every man of you says this every time, and it hurts me every time...

Male: That’s because they are all newbies~