My husband sent a message to my best friend in the middle of the night and didn't touch me. How can we save it?

I wanted to make out with him the night he came back from a business trip. But as soon as I touched him, he said it hurt and took my hand away several times. I got angry on the spot and asked him, "Are you taken?" He looked at me in surprise and said, "Is there something wrong with you? Go to sleep. " Sleep with your head covered. We haven't been married for three months, which is not normal.

I am 40 years old, a primary school teacher, married 10 years, and my child is 8 years old. He is very kind to me, and I have never checked his cell phone. After the baby was born, I was busy taking care of the elderly and my family while working. My husband is also very motivated, and promotion and salary increase are like hanging up. Because of his work, he often travels, and he videos with me every time he travels. But he would rather talk to me on the phone for an hour before going on a business trip, and he insisted on not recording me. He always said he was tired and wanted to go to bed early, and I began to doubt him at that time.

That night, while he was asleep, I checked his cell phone. Sure enough, there are a lot of obscene records and transfer records, as well as the purchase records of husband and wife supplies. After watching it for more than ten minutes, my hands are shaking. I really can't stand it. It turns out that I'm very unhappy recently because I wear too many hats. I decided to show my cards to him the next day, but I couldn't sleep that night, lying in bed, listening to his breathing, and tears flowed down my cheeks without restraint.

The next day, when I produced the evidence, he admitted it directly and began to complain to me that I was not gentle, dressed up and didn't understand him. I immediately slapped him hard, and all the anger poured out at that moment. It is a pity that he betrayed me first.

I wanted to slap him to wake him up, but I didn't expect him to run away from home and live with that woman now. I am particularly afraid that the home we have worked so hard to build will fall apart. What should I do now?

Emotional solution:

Hello, madam, I understand your fear, heartache and helplessness. My husband didn't betray you, but ran away from home. It's so heartless. In the emotional cases I have contacted, women often encounter the problem of separation raised by their husbands, and they are also very afraid of the breakdown of their marriage. But as long as we understand the reasons behind the problems, it will be of great help to repair their feelings.

First of all, couples really need to accomplish many things together in order to establish close ties. After your husband betrays you and chooses to separate, you may worry that their feelings are getting better and better, your feelings are getting weaker and weaker, and even divorce. But you know, when a man proposes to separate, it is usually the climax of his emotional development with that woman. At this time, he and the woman began to live together, and the sense of excitement and expectation between them disappeared, which also means that this relationship is about to weaken, so you don't have to be too sad.

Secondly, the betrayal of your husband denies your devotion to your family and children and the affection between you, which is undoubtedly the deepest harm to women. But all kinds of complaints about you after his betrayal are probably some of his expectations for you. When getting along, both sides may have been busy paying for their families and rarely take the initiative to care about each other's feelings. If his expectations are not met, it is easy to find a substitute for marriage. When he proposes to separate, the more you suppress him, the stronger his rebellious heart will be, and he will continue to prove that he and that woman are true love. At this time, you might as well treat them calmly, take the initiative to admit their feelings and let him try to live with that woman.

Finally, you can't treat him as an enemy. If he thinks you are hostile and unreasonable, he will be more inclined to that woman. At this time, you should treat him as a friend, stick to your own position but don't interfere with him too much. Let him know that you still have deep love and tolerance for this family and your children, which will make him respect you more. Over time, their love will shake and the distance between you will get closer and closer.

In the face of your husband's betrayal, you need to think calmly whether to divorce or let him return. If you choose to divorce, take the opportunity to collect evidence and let him pay compensation. If you don't want a divorce, don't be too entangled, which is more conducive to your emotional repair.

(The case comes from the fan's real experience submission and is published with my consent. Welcome to leave a message in the comment area for discussion. )