Quick jokes that make people laugh instantly

Jokes that make people laugh instantly

Jokes that make people laugh instantly. Most of the jokes in life reveal the abnormal phenomena in life, and many people like to watch jokes in daily life. It can very well help us face the troubles in life. Here are some jokes that make people laugh instantly. Jokes that make people laugh instantly 1

1. The person I like has a warmth all over him.

2. What you like may not be suitable for you, but the one who accompanies you is the best.

3. I want to use everything I have in exchange for a way to your heart.

4. Only when I am awake all night and my mind is full of you do I know what it means to be obsessed.

5. There are chestnuts in winter, mangoes in summer, and you, I have you in all seasons.

6. You are so cute, I can’t help but want to kiss you.

7. The love deep in my heart is with you.

8. We quarrel today, laugh tomorrow, get annoyed when we are close, and think about it when we are far away.

9. There is no wine in your dimples, but I am drunk until I die.

10. Inadvertently, your smile becomes my whole world.

11. People who are destined to be together will still come back to each other no matter how long they go around.

12. Today I threw the Oh Oh milk candy into the mud because Oh Oh loves mud.

13. Every time I miss you, the stars in the sky blink.

14. In a deserted village, you are prosperous and auspicious.

15. Missing is like a river, flowing endlessly to the sea and to my heart.

16. Looking at your smile, I suddenly feel that I am the happiest person in the world.

17. Because of you, I believe in true love, and because of you, I hope to be forever.

18. The touch of sunshine you once gave me has been keeping me warm until now.

19. Love is like flowing water, love is like peach, I float in life, and you can live in your dreams.

20. The strongest wine I have ever drunk is your tenderness burning in my chest.

21. I will love you forever and kiss you a thousand times is not enough!

22. Because of you, my sky is colorful.

23. If you end up penniless, I will be your last luggage.

24. Long-distance love, if we can survive the time, we will win.

25. Keeping healthy means going to bed late and getting up late with you every day.

26. The meeting of lovers is destined.

27. I want to take a selfie with you, using reading glasses instead of filters.

28. I miss you so much, it’s as loud as a plane taking off.

29. Thank you for your unfeeling and letting me learn to give up.

30. I received a new message on my phone and opened it with my heart beating fast, but it was not yours.

31. You don’t have to be nice, as long as I like it. If I’m not very good, you just don’t dislike it.

32. Every heart is a flower, and you are the most beautiful one.

33. If you were water, I would like to turn into a bowl and put you in my heart.

34. Happiness is far away from you, but you are still dissatisfied.

35. Be romantic, taste sweetness, record happiness, and write sincerely: I love you forever!

36. Love is like a ray of sunshine in winter, warming your cold heart.

37. I hope you can climb over the mountains to see the sea without my company.

38. In my heart, the most exciting thing in the world is you.

39. There are three kinds of people in this world: bad people, transvestites, and my people.

40. Spending my entire youth loving you is the most luxurious thing I have ever done.

41. I really want to be your water cup and hold it in your hand.

42. I think you must be very busy, so just read the first three words.

43. We should be together, otherwise it would be too harmful.

44. Live a sweet and romantic life with you until eternity.

45. I prefer wild branches with roses blooming on them. When I return home tired, I will have you by my side.

46. I am a wild horse that cannot be trapped, but I also want to be a cat in your arms.

47. Feeling you, feeling the warmth, there is no trace of loneliness in my heart.

48. I’m not good at math, but I can say: 520.

49. I am willing to be your figure and look back at you once.

50. Later love became a song, notes and singing.

51. It’s not that I can’t live without my phone, but I can’t live without you on the other side of the phone.

52. Finally, I said I hate you, but I hate you because I love you.

53. It seems that apart from liking you, the thing that I have insisted on the longest is breathing.

54. I want to be everything related to you, protect you and keep you happy.

55. Thank you for your company, I love you day and night.

56. Your eyes are not as beautiful as mine, because I have you in my eyes.

57. I am very possessive. If you get close to me, you can’t leave.

58. Thinking of you brings a smile to my ugly face. Jokes that make people laugh instantly 2

1. "What are you going to do on Chinese Valentine's Day?" "Play Lianliankan." "Why?" "A pair can kill a pair."

2. "When three people are together, there must be a light bulb." "Well, don't call it a light bulb from now on, call it the brightest star in the night sky."

3. "I am a good-tempered person. If someone steps on my bottom line one day, "What will happen?" Then I will lower the bottom line again. "

4. The girl I liked when I was a child rejected me. Twenty years later, she recognized me and asked me how I was doing. I replied excitedly: "Who are you, aunt? "

5. When cutting the meat, I accidentally cut my hand, and the blood dripped on the pork. My brother said, "Are you bleeding to acknowledge your kin?" "Baby boy, come here, I promise not to beat you.

6. Rooney couldn't accept the result of Italy's loss and took out a gun to commit suicide. After a gunshot, Rooney got up from the ground and cursed angrily Said: “The paralysis shot up again. "

7. Kidnapper: "I have your class teacher in my hands. Student: "I won't give you money." Kidnapper: "I'll let him go immediately if you don't pay him." Student: "I'll collect the money right away." ”

8. You left me many wonderful moments that cannot be erased. You taught me how to cherish each other and turned every moment of ours into an eternal memory. Thank you for everything you have brought to me. . I wish you a happy Thanksgiving!

9. I wish you long-lasting gratitude, long-lasting happiness, long-lasting sweetness, long-lasting luck, long-lasting health, long-lasting happiness, and long-lasting relief. Good luck for a long time. Happy Thanksgiving!

10. Thank you to the people who love me and the people I love. Thank you to everyone who has ever met and accompanied me. Thank you for letting us experience a happy and helpless life. Thank you to everyone. Happy Thanksgiving to my friend who is reading the text message!

11. There are forty-four stone lions in front of the Shishi Temple. There are forty-four astringent persimmons and forty-four stone lions on the trees in front of the temple. Instead of eating forty-four astringent persimmons, eat forty-four stone lions instead.

12. Your mouth gets tired from talking too much, your legs get tired from walking too much, and your heart gets tired from thinking too much. , I miss you and shed tears, I worry about you being tired every day, I worry about you being unhappy, I worry about you being bored, I worry about you being in arrears, I worry about you pretending to be stupid and not understanding the pain I have suffered for you.

13. Do you know anything about sports cars? Friends, please recommend a sports car worth 4 million to 8 million. It needs good performance, fast starting, high horsepower, high comfort, and stylish and beautiful appearance. I will use it as a mobile phone wallpaper.

14. I can’t help but play with my mobile phone during self-study in the evening. One day, after a long time from self-study to class, the teacher didn’t come. Suddenly, the teacher jumped out from the back door and turned off the lights. As a result, all the children’s shoes that reflected the light on his face were taken away.

15. On the Chinese Valentine’s Day last year, I was holding my mobile phone and eating dog food. Last year’s Chinese Valentine’s Day, I was still holding my mobile phone and eating dog food. This year’s Chinese Valentine’s Day, I was still holding my mobile phone and eating dog food. Grain, continue to look forward to next year’s Chinese Valentine’s Day

16. A mouse brags.

A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: I don’t step on mice all day and make my feet itch; C: I don’t feel safe on the streets only a few times a day; D: It’s getting late, let’s go home and pick up the cat.

17. In the morning, my son cried and told me and my wife that he dreamed that his grandma was dead. I said it didn’t matter, the dream was the opposite. If he dreamed that his grandma was dead, it might be grandma who died. Now I feel the three blood marks on my face and want to cry without tears.

18. One day, a frog kissed the rabbit and ran away. The rabbit chased after him. The frog jumped into the pond in desperation. After a while, a toad climbed out and the rabbit laughed: Haha, you must be allergic!

19. One day the hen flew up to the roof, and the owner angrily said, "Come down. If you don't come down, I will kill all the roosters here, and your life will be worse than death." The hen laughed and said yes, haha, we can finally go find the duck.

20. I will be very happy being with you. You are my pistachio. Every time I get close to you, I feel like my heart is beating, and tonight is no exception. After waiting for a long time and finally seeing you, I want to say loudly: I love you computer!

21. I took my son to the hospital for an injection. As soon as the nurse picked up the needle, my son burst into tears. I said, "Don't cry. It will hurt more if you cry." My son didn't understand: "Why does it hurt more?" I said, "Because I will beat you."

22. Someone getting sick is a big deal , if someone is sick and doesn't take it personally, it may not really be a problem, and if he doesn't do it, it may not be a problem; men do women's things, and women do men's things. Guys and Dolls are the easiest to talk about and tell stories!

23. One day when Lao Wang was taking a bus, a pregnant woman got on the bus and found that there was no seat. She said to Lao Wang who was sitting next to her: "Didn't you see that I'm pregnant?" ?" Lao Wang looked at the pregnant woman in surprise and said, "Were we neighbors before?"

24. To say that I have loved you for ten thousand years is too exaggerated and unreal, but loving you for a lifetime is my pursuit in this life; Staying with you forever is too luxurious to think about, but staying with you forever is my wish. I love you, RMB!

25. The drunkard went to the ATM machine to withdraw money. Unexpectedly, the card was "eaten" by the ATM machine. The drunkard was very anxious. As soon as an acquaintance happened to pass by, he gave him advice and quickly poured wine. The drunkard asked: Why? An acquaintance laughed and said: Even if you drink too much, it will vomit!

26. Whether you see me or not, my text messages will be sent to you; whether you miss me or not, the wishes in my heart will not change; whether you love me or not, my words will still remain. That sentence. Paying back debts is a matter of course.

27. Only those who dare to face themselves can see the way forward; only those who dare to face the darkness can see the dawn of dawn; only those who dare to face you can see clearly before makeup Your face: It turns out you are a relative of Bajie!

28. Flowers, whether elegant or gorgeous, are always planted in pots; the moon, whether far or missing, is always hanging in the sky; friendship, whether far or near, is always held in the hand; friends, see or Miss you, always in my heart! I wish my dear friends a happy day!

29. A: The people in the city are so serious about worshiping foreign things. You see, even the toilets are written with English letters. B: Is it different in rural areas? Does it just say "toilet"? A: Of course it’s different. In rural areas, it’s written “to fight without losing money”.

30. On the first day of work after the holiday, your biological clock should be adjusted to ensure a good sleep, eliminate work phobia, come to work happily, do your work wholeheartedly, and be praised by colleagues and leaders. I wish you success in your work and make lots of money!

31. Greetings are used to warm the heart, and continuous messages are used to convey care; with continuous messages, greetings are within reach, and the warmth between friends can make the hearts of friends more friendly. Close. Pay attention to each other, and the friendship will be stronger.

32. The time is short, and I am immersed in the simple, simple and happy time of gathering with my family during the New Year. Suddenly I found that I had let go of all my previous high demands. I just want to live a normal life with my family. Insomnia. ?

33. My mother took my younger brother to visit the zoo. When they came to the iron cage where the lion was kept, the mother warned: "Son, don't get too close!" The son said generously: "Mom, you Don't worry, I won't hurt it!"

34. A neurotic patient was writing a letter. The nurse asked: "Who are you writing to?" The patient said: "Myself.

The nurse asked again: "What was written in the letter?" Patient: "You are crazy. How do I know if I haven't received it yet?" ”

35. You ask me why I only asked where you are from, but never your age? Actually, it’s not that I don’t want to know, but because when I see you, I think of an old saying, that is : A hero doesn’t care about his origin, and a gangster doesn’t care about his age!

36. I had a few arguments with my wife today, and I said to her: Do you believe that I hit your husband? After that, I slapped her. He looked at me and said, "I dare you." Then I was slapped again... Jie Nima didn't play by the rules!

37. Once I was talking about drinking with a buddy. , I said: "It doesn't matter if you drink some wine, as long as you don't drink so much that you can't tell the difference between north and south." After hearing this, the buddy replied in a hoarse voice: "It doesn't matter if you can't tell the north from the south, but you must be able to tell the difference between men and women." ” Jokes that make people laugh instantly 3

1. As the saying goes: When you laugh, the whole world laughs with you; when you cry, you are the only one in the world crying.

2. The longest relationship I have ever been in was narcissism. I love myself and have no love rival.

3. Zhengbus is a comprehensive sports and fitness program that includes Sanda, yoga, judo, balance beam and other sports. Sexual exercise.

4. A true warrior, chasing stars, controlling appearance, being fat and greedy, staying up all night without doing homework, no matter how bold the person is, no matter how late the homework is, a dead pig is not afraid of boiling water. Hot, the more homework you have, the more promiscuous you will be!

5. Don’t fight with me, although I can’t act coquettishly, but I can play wrestling.

6. The boy will take you to play games. , he doesn’t care about winning or losing, neither happy nor angry, not because he likes you very much, but because he has recognized that there is no way he can win with a loser like you.

7. This joke is so funny, I don’t care. You have to watch a tragedy to calm down.

8. God is very fair. He will let you spend Singles’ Day, but he will not let you spend Valentine’s Day!

9. I have a bad temper, bad grades, bad temperament, bad personality, and bad appearance. The only thing I am proud of is: good digestion!

10. If you watch the big trees change with your own eyes! Do you still have the heart to do homework when you have a notebook? In order to protect nature, we don’t do homework.

11. It’s good that you left, otherwise I would always be worried and you would have to stay for dinner. .

12. I wanted to eat the sorrow one bite at a time, but unexpectedly it turned into meatballs. 13. I wish you a happy family with your descendants! Have you thought about it? I'm ready.

14. Adolescent love is like spiritual opium. Whether you take it or not, there is always a group of Lin Zexu standing behind you.

15. I moved to a new office, the bathroom is in the corner, and there is no cell phone signal. It quickly cured the constipation I had suffered for many years.

16. The furthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death, but under the quilt in winter. The temperature outside the bed is different.

17. Tell me the address of your home and I will change it into a public toilet.

18. Every time you are in the toilet. I get extremely angry when I see chewing gum that others spit out. It still tastes good when I chew it.

19. Some women are afraid of thunder when it rains. I'm so scared, baby. The DJ in the bar is so loud every night, how come I haven't seen you scared before? Your mother doesn't recognize you anymore.

20. People never hold grudges, and I usually avenge them on the spot.

21. Everyone, does anyone want an iPhoneX? If so, please leave a message and comment on the color and memory you want. Send me the link, and by 12 noon tomorrow, I will draw three lucky friends, and then announce which three are so thick-skinned.

22. The new definition of moonlight clan: At the beginning of the month, the dog eats whatever I eat, and at the end of the month, I eat whatever the dog eats.

23. It’s the same meat. Why is it so popular when it grows on the chest, but so annoying when it grows on the belly? Is this considered regional discrimination?

24. Mosquito, you have hands and feet, why don’t you find a job and live a proper life there.

25. Although the famous flower has its owner, I will loosen the soil! It is difficult for a rich man to be a man without money!

26. I can’t see what’s wrong with being ugly. It’s you who are disgusting.

27. The first guy who knew that milk can be drunk, what did you do to the cow?

28. When I went to the barber shop, after the barber tied a scarf on me, he looked at me and praised me, saying: "Beauty has such big eyes!" I said: Brother, if you tighten it tighter, I can still stick out my tongue.

29. I became fat when I left home, but my local accent has not changed. Children don't recognize each other and exclaim, "Fat man, who are you?" Hengpi: Return to hometown with tight clothes.

30. Every time someone is mean to me, I feel that there is something wrong with this person. He can still lose his temper and be speechless in front of such a cute me.

31. There is only one road in the world. No one can take it except you. Where does it lead? Don't ask, just go. When a person doesn't know where your road will lead him, you have climbed higher than ever.

32. It’s mine, so don’t move it. If it’s not mine, leave it alone.

33. People cannot lower their noble heads, except when picking up money.

34. I recently discovered a very scary reality: the price of everything is rising, but I am getting cheaper! It seems it’s time to increase your worth!

35. Spring is never partial, she brings spring to everyone.

36. Someone once said to me: You are so handsome! I immediately replied: He's not handsome, he looks whatever he wants.

37. I really miss my childhood. When the weather is hot, I can be shirtless like a man!

38. There are two things that others cannot take away. One is the food you eat, and the other is the dream you hide in your heart. So, as a foodie with dreams, you are invincible!

39. At the age when girls are like flowers, you have grown into a succulent.

40. When you reach middle age, it’s like a Journey to the West! Wukong's pressure, Bajie's figure, Lao Sha's hairstyle, Tang Seng's grinding, are getting closer and closer to the west.

41. I am a bit vulgar, a bit weird, a bit boring and cute! A bit lazy, a bit bad, a bit smart and a rogue! A scoundrel is a scoundrel, a glib man talks about love! If you want to love me, then love me.

42. The four spiritual pillars that have always supported my progress in life are: waiting for get off work, waiting for Friday, waiting for express delivery, and waiting for wages.

43. To be honest, my bed skills are really good. I can lie in bed for a whole day without eating, drinking or going to the toilet.

44. When I get angry, winter will come; when I get angry in winter, I will become a man in long trousers.

45. Outside the pavilion, beside the ancient road, cross, cross, cross, cross, don’t laugh, although I can’t remember this ancient poem, but I will always remember you! I wish you eternal happiness!

46. Every time you go shopping, others will tell you that if you really want it, they will give you a cheaper price. You see, the truth is so worthless!

47. Not everyone can read, and those who can read are not good children.

48. What is a true brother? That is, when a brother needs a woman, step forward and be his woman.

49. Don’t call your child a brat, because from a genetic point of view, this is not good for parents.

50. Look in the mirror at night and look at your body as white as jade. Sighing: What a good cabbage, why can't I find pigs?

51. Do you know why you feel so sleepy at school? Because school is where dreams begin.

52. Some people insist on insisting on something even though they know it is wrong, because they are not willing to accept it; some people want to give up even though they know they love it because there is no ending; sometimes, they insist on knowing that the road is gone but still Keep moving forward because you are used to it.

53. Don’t say sorry to me, because we have nothing to do with each other.

54. The north wind is blowing and the autumn breeze is cool. Whose lovely wife is guarding the empty house? If you have any difficulties, I will help. I live next door. My surname is Wang.

55. The threshold for doing anything in this era has become so high. If you want to be a homebody, can you afford to buy a house?

56. My name is Little Cutie. When I grow up, I will be called Big Cutie. When I grow old, I will be called Old Cutie. When I die, I will be called Dead Cutie.

57. When we are young, we often make faces in the mirror; when we are old, the mirror is even.

58. Once you are done with this period of work, you can move on to the next one.

59. Apart from marrying you and transferring money, don’t take your talk of liking and missing you too seriously. It’s better to spend a huge sum of money than to ask for help.

60. Whenever a boy says he has tidied up his room, the standard usually refers to: the path from the door to the bed has been cleared.

61. I am small-minded but not lacking. I am good-tempered, but not without.

62. Forget about scolding you in normal times. Only when I beat you will you know that I am both civil and military.

63. I originally wanted to give life a kiss, but reality gave me two slaps.

64. Everyone has a dark side. If you say you are innocent, then I can only say that you are not a human!

65. Things in the world are like this. The more you think about having both, the more you end up having neither.

66. I just wanted to turn around gracefully, but unexpectedly I hit the wall!