Short and sweet humorous jokes

Short and concise humorous jokes

1. Xiao Ming’s name has appeared in various stories N times in the past few decades. Xiao Ming is not only angry that he has not received the copyright fee, but also angry that everyone is not creative. I have to use his name to write the story, and I'm angry that he didn't get the respect he deserved!

Xiao Ming said that he is already dozens of years old since he was born, and I hope everyone will respect him. Call him Lao Ming. In addition, his friend Xiaoqiang also asked him to tell everyone that he has been 19 years old since he starred in Tang Bohu Dian Qiuxiang. Please call him Daqiang!

2. Xiao Ming sent a text message in a dream:? Withered vines, old trees and black crows, thousands of Coke leather shoes, the world is declining, heaven: let me come!?

After a while, there was an eight-word reply from the other end of the phone: ?Tickets are expensive, there are too many people Line up!?

　3. Once, a friend came to play with me and called me by my real name. I quit and immediately reminded her: No, you have to call me by my nickname. After a few seconds of silence, she carefully opened her mouth and shouted softly: Xiao Ming.

4. One day after kindergarten, I took Xiao Ming on the road and passed by a transformer. I pointed at the transformer and said, "Do you know what this is? This is called a transformer." ?

Xiao Ming looked to the side and asked me with a puzzled look: ?Mom, where are all the ducks that were conjured?

5. There was a farmer who loved to tell jokes. One day , a group of people were chatting, and he told a joke. After telling it, everyone said: "This joke is too weak." ?(meaning not interesting).

He continued: "This morning I saw a man carrying dung at the city gate. He accidentally slipped and fell, and a load of dung was scattered on the ground." ?

Everyone said: ?This is too light. ?

This person smiled and asked: "You have never tasted it, how do you know it is bland?

6. Do you know why holidays are so short? Because there is no morning on holidays. Do you know why it takes so long after school starts? Because it has not only morning but also morning!!

7. I read time-travel novels and TV series every day, and the toilet is like a hole in time-travel.

8. If I pass you by on the road and don’t say hello to you, it’s not because I’m pretending to be arrogant, playing high-minded, or showing off. . Because. . . . . . . I didn't wear my glasses. . .

9. A: What did I think of a three-dimensional movie? It turned out to be ghosting. ?

B: ?What about the glasses given to you?

A: I didn’t wear it. If I put it on, I wouldn’t have that three-dimensional effect!?

10. I just heard someone A say to B that Zhang Guoli’s child, Zhang Mo, was caught taking drugs. How does Xu Fan teach his children?

I covered my mouth and snickered silently: Look how messed up the mandarin duck music is! Xu Fan is Zhang Guoli’s wife? How embarrassing is this for Chen Kaige!

< p> 11. One day, a man's house was robbed... Nothing was lost, but the kitchen knife was missing.

The thief left a note that read: Brother, I’m sorry, I lost my ID card, and I need a kitchen knife urgently for cooking at home...

12. New Journey to the West is on, so join in the fun and watch it.

Monkey Sun just popped out as a white and naked monkey, and then he ate a peach, and his hair grew.

My family said: "Hey! The hair will grow after eating a peach!"

I said: "That's because I ate a peach." If you eat a nectarine, you can’t tell what it will be like!?

13. When traveling to Sanya, I went to a food stall to eat seafood at night. As soon as I got close to the fish box, the waiter caught 180 nectarines with his hands and feet. The fish? Puff, puff, puff? They were all knocked unconscious. We were so scared that we were trembling: "Isn't it counted if you pass it with your fingers?"

The guy held the fish-knocking tool in his hand and put it to his chest. Dao: "That was last year's approach. This year, eye contact will be the criterion." ?

14. There is an F15 escorting the B52. The road is long and boring.

So the pilot of the F15 maneuvered the aircraft around the B52 twice,

and asked the other party through the radio: "Man, look at how capable my little bird is, that guy of yours" She can do anything she can. ?

B52: ?Really? Then I will do an action and you can learn it. ?

F15: ?OK!?

A few minutes later, F15 saw that B52 had not changed at all, so he asked again: ?Man, what have you done?

< p>B52:?I shut down both engines, now it's your turn. ?

15. Li Aiqing, I order you to write poems to entertain me. ?

?Your Majesty, you can write poems, but I also ask your concubine to polish the ink for me. ?

?Haha, a talent is a talent, and the requirements are so unique. Come and serve the steamed buns. Concubine, how about you feed Li Bai a few!?

16. Taking the bus home, a foreigner next to me was listening to music with an iPod. The headphones are too loud, which makes me a little impatient.

After thinking for a full two minutes, I finally plucked up the courage to say to the foreigner in English: Can you please turn down your voice?

The foreigner used the Chinese character "general" in a polite way. He yelled: ?None of your business?

17. Mobile pre-deposited phone bills will give you fuel, and you will also have the opportunity to draw a lottery for a trip to Japan and South Korea! Not long after, I received a complaint from a person named Hanyou...

18. 1. Cao Cao captured Guan Yu and treated him well -> 2. Guan Yu took Liu Bei's wife to Cao Ying -> 3. Cao Cao released Guan Yu and asked him to take Liu Bei's wife with him -> 4. When Zhao Yun rescued Adou, Cao Cao refused to let anyone shoot arrows -> 5. When Liu Bei saw Adou, he wanted to throw him to death -> 6. The Wei army attacked Chengdu, and Adou opened the door and surrendered. It can be inferred from this that Adou is the son of Cao Cao and Guan Yu.

19. Everyone says that I look like I only weigh over 80 pounds, but in fact I weigh 112 pounds. Where is my weight? Taste. ? ;