What notification messages are there in our life?

I don't know if there are any humorous short messages suitable for you!

Take your time! Happy wedding!

1232 Please touch your little red face first, and then touch your little belly! All right! This lecture on pig raising knowledge ends here. See you tomorrow! humorous

Honestly, are you secretly thinking about me? Are you really thinking about me secretly? If you really miss me, just tell me! I won't let you miss me. Be reasonable. I miss you too! humorous

Two drunks were walking on the tracks, and one of them complained, "Why isn't this staircase finished?" . The other snorted and said, "Its armrest is still so bottom." humorous

The so-called "finger-belly marriage" in 843 means-pointing to your girlfriend's belly and saying to your parents, "Mom and Dad, we are getting married".

Every day, the wife will search her husband thoroughly to see if she can find a woman's hair. One day she searched for nothing for a long time, but she still scolded: now you even want a nun! humorous

84 1 Unexpectedly, I was so unfaithful to me. She didn't come home last night and asked where she had gone. She told me that she was with her sister all night, but I was with her sister last night. humorous

Professor Huang said with emotion: I think an advertisement I made that year was very attractive and well known to all women and children-Yuejin brand menstrual belt, which is being used more and more by people. humorous

A Japanese man had a good name before his child was born: the boy's name is chop and change, and the girl's name is unmarried. humorous

A woman went to visit relatives in the army. When filling in the registration form, she didn't know what "relationship" was, so she filled it in as "three times a week". The soldier on duty pointed out that this was wrong and had no choice but to fill in "seven times a week". humorous

M: I want to tell you all my past infidelity. Woman: Didn't you tell me everything three days ago? Man: But that was three days ago. Humor.

83 1 since ancient times, there have been no charming mothers on the internet, and flowers bloom before and after. Occasionally I see three or two pairs of mandarin ducks, and they are also perverted pheasants. humorous

An audience met a famous TV announcer and was overjoyed. She said: I can only see your upper body at ordinary times, but today I finally saw your lower body! humorous

When the husband turned on the light, he accidentally left his handprint on the newly painted wall. The next day, my wife called the painter: I want you to see the place my husband touched last night. The painter fainted ... humor.

I am a kind person from a distant village. I want to live in luxury. I'm afraid of getting my pants dirty when I farm, I have no foundation when I run a factory, I have no courage when I sell drugs, I'm afraid of losing face when I beg, and I have to be a duck! humorous

The husband came home and opened the closet. A naked man stood inside with a briefcase. Husband: What are you doing here? The man trembled: If I said I was waiting for the bus, would you believe it?

I wish you every day as smart as a mouse, as strong as a cow, as bold as a tiger, as lovely as a rabbit, as confident as a dragon, as vicious as a snake, as romantic as a horse, as gentle as a sheep, as naughty as a monkey, as beautiful as a chicken, as loyal as a dog and as fat as a pig! Hahahahahahaha trick expert

Today, there are four kinds of soil: mobile phones wear condoms, pagers wear handcuffs, men wear vests and women wear bras. Who are you? A cunning mind

Comrade 828, I'm really sorry. You just came to me and said you wanted to buy two porn movies. As a result, I accidentally gave you two CDs for children to learn English. Please return them to our store as soon as possible. A cunning mind

The white clouds in the sky drift slowly, the stream in the valley gurgles, the beloved girl rushes by, your pants fall off one by one ... your ass is on fire.

Play with me, son! You were still liquid when I came out to mix! A cunning mind

8 16 I wish you a happy old turtle in the East China Sea and a long life in Nanshan Dashitou. A cunning mind

8 14 You are very kind-fickle and heartless! You are a genius-a born fool! You're cute-poor nobody loves you! A cunning mind

8 13 do you think you can suck up all the fart after every fart? ! A cunning mind

Congratulations, the message you just received will be recorded in the history of world communication, because it is the first message paid by the receiver, and the price is 10000 RMB! A cunning mind

805 Urgent Order: If you want money but no money, if you want talent but no talent, if you want appearance and no talent, you have been listed as a "person with three noes". You must leave the city within 24 hours after receiving the order, or you will be severely punished! A cunning mind

You have an angelic face, a devil-like figure, and even a perfect fart posture. Can you control the rhythm in public? A cunning mind

Warning: A pinhole camera was installed in your bathroom three months ago, and the VCD will be sent to you by express three days later. Please check it! A cunning mind

Dear users, your mobile phone will stop at 0 o'clock tomorrow! If you want to ask why, with your IQ, we can hardly explain it to you! A cunning mind

80 1 A pig ran desperately forward when suddenly a wall appeared in front of it. It didn't bypass it, but hit it. Why? Don't you understand? It's simple. No sharp turns! A cunning mind

There was a great little pig in 800. He sleeps until ten o'clock every day, and only five bowls of rice are at the bottom. No one dares to compare the weight. Where is the pig? Browse short messages. A cunning mind

All the pigs in the world died overnight (playing the title of a song) ... at least you are!

Thanks to the white clouds accompanying the sky, the sky accompanying the earth, the earth gestating creatures, creatures decorating the world, and the world, because there is you in the world: my favorite person! Nice words

Love has its ups and downs. I hope my true feelings can keep our love young forever, and my tenderness can heal our love and make our love never die. Nice words

14 1 1 I love holding your slender hands, I love holding your soft body, I love your bright eyes when you are naughty, I love your lips when you are coquetry, and I love your arrogant expression when you are unreasonable. Nice words

1408 You are a lamp that illuminates my life; You are a cup of tea, soothing my tired nerves; You are a tree, covering the hot sun above me; You are a love that will accompany me all my life. Nice words

1406 I really want to write your name on a cigarette and breathe it deeply into my lungs, closest to my heart, so that you can truly feel that there is only you in my heart and my heart beats only for you. Sweet words.

1403 If you smell the flowers, don't ask me who my flowers are red for. I loved them very much, and I was drunk until I knew the wine was strong. Flowers bloom and fall, and fate never stops. Like the spring breeze, women are like flowers and dreams. Nice words

139 1 knit a sweater and send it to you on the horizon. No matter where you go, you will never leave my sight; Knit a sweater for you with your eyes. Wherever you go, I will see you. Nice words

1388 miss you every starry night; Miss your happy time every moment; I hope you miss you all the time! Love you every second between breaths. Nice words

1387 when love is not perfect, I would rather choose no regrets; No matter how wonderful the afterlife is, I don't want to lose my memory of you in this life. I don't want eternal beauty, I just want to have you in the cycle of life and death! Nice words

1386 can you catch the trace of geese flying in the sky, can you hear the sound of flowers blooming on the ground? You can read all the vows in the world, can you hear the three most common words I say to you-I love your sweet words?

1382 Meeting you is the fate of this life, falling in love with you is the fate of this life, and accompanying you is the life of this life. Nice words

1380 if a love needs to be guarded for a lifetime; A commitment needs a lifetime commitment. I am willing to love you for the rest of my life, and then I will engrave it on my inscription forever. Nice words

1377 fish said: I open my eyes all day because I don't want you to keep leaving! Water said: I have been flowing all day because I want to hug you all the time! Nice words

1370 love+love = two copies of love; Love-love = selfless love; Love × love = infinite love; Love, love = the only love, sweet words

1369 Every boy was once a demon in hell. When he meets the girl he likes, he will be tempted-so he becomes a mortal. So the girl must not let the boy down, or the boy will return to that terrible hell! Nice words

The strangeness of 1368 does not mean eternity. Inadvertently, some kind of tacit understanding continued our friendship. In the lonely journey, I can receive your earnest concern and sincere blessing every day. I am grateful to have you with me in the world of mortals.

There are two kinds of massage: sensory enjoyment and sexual enjoyment. Please note the subtle but important differences. One will make your partner relax and fall asleep quickly. The other one will ... flirt with each other.

14 10 Zodiac: I wish you smart as a mouse, strong as an ox, bold as a tiger, cute as a rabbit, confident as a dragon, charming as a snake, romantic as a horse, naughty as a sheep, beautiful as a monkey, loyal as a dog and long as a pig:) Couples are funny.

1402 I'm afraid to see you get an electric shock; I can't see you, I need to recharge; Without you, I'll cut off the power. Love you is my profession, miss you is my profession, hug you is my specialty, kiss you is my specialty! Lover teasing

140 1 weather forecast: I miss you a little from tonight to tomorrow morning, and I expect to miss you continuously in the afternoon. Affected by this depression, I will become a wild dream at night, and my mood will drop by five degrees. It is expected that this weather will last until I see you. Lover teasing

1400 let me build a beautiful hut in your heart, don't mind others saying it is illegal. Lover teasing

1394 You, you, you little leprechaun, poisoned me with your love poison, but you refused to give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love! Lover teasing

1392 If you blink, I will die. If you blink again, I will come back to life. Your eyes are blinking all the time, so I will die! Lover teasing

1385 tells you that with you, you are everything! Without you around, everything is a tease from your lover.

1379 if I were a judge, I would sentence you to life imprisonment, imprisoned in my heart, without bail. Lover teasing

1378 forgive me for telling a stranger your mobile phone number. His name is Cupid, and he said he would help me tell you that my heart likes you, my heart cares about you and my heart is waiting for you. Lover teasing

1376 Do you want roses? I won't give it to you! Do you want to eat chocolate? I will haunt you to death! Want me to kiss you? Beautiful! Oh, honey, don't be angry, I just missed you in Doby! Lover teasing

What will happen between you and me? One, very much in love, two, grow old together, three, last forever, four, all the above answers are correct. Please reply to the text message to confirm. Lover teasing

I don't think we are really suitable for lovers ... would you like to be my wife ... lovers are funny.

I overheard you say to God that you won't get married unless I get married, so I don't want you to betray God ... lover teasing.

My mother treats me to death ... I'd rather marry you than be read to death by her ... Please help me ... tease my lover.

Love is like tonsils, which get inflamed in spring.

Remember my name and phone number and call me when you are lonely-I am willing to wait for you all my life. True confession

142 1 I have met many other people over the years and come to the conclusion that you are my only favorite person, and I am willing to make you happy all my life.

14 18 like is light love, but love is deep love. Dear, you are the one who makes me deeply like you! True confession

Honey, you stole my love and my heart. I decided to go to court. What should I convict you of? After the judge searched all the records and cases, the jury unanimously passed: sentence you to accompany me for life! True confession

14 12 Romance is a cloud, let it flow freely, but reality is a land bearing life. Both, especially the tenable reality. True confession

1409 You may forget your ID number, email address or anniversary. However, I hope you will never forget my phone number. True confession

1404 What I want to hear most is your laughter, and what I want to see most is your happiness. May happiness always accompany you. This is my most sincere blessing! True confession

1397 I want to ask the way: please tell me how to get to your heart. True confession

1396 maybe, in your life, I was just an accident. To me, you are the greatest miracle. True confession

1393 looking for a girlfriend: I have the same personality, the same looks, the same looks and the same cuteness as you, which makes me feel exactly like you! True confession

1374 A flower has withered after being picked for a long time, but I am reluctant to throw it away. An umbrella lasted for a long time, and I didn't remember to collect it when the rain stopped. After walking for a long time, I failed to reach the finish line. I thought for a long time before saying: it's good to have you! I can't think of anything you want; Wear clothes without styling; I can't get along with anyone; No matter where you go, you are not welcome; I can't catch up with Lenin when I think about problems; My heart stopped when I was fine! Oh, dear, come to me! Deeply miss

1407 how about two of a kind? It's as thin as silk and misty. The moon is not always round, flowers are easy to fall, and my life is full of melancholy. Deeply miss

1405 May all happiness be with you, with Leon's head down in spring and his head down at the dance; May all happiness follow you. The full moon is a poem, and the lack of the moon is a painting! Deeply miss

1390 in the long night, listening to the cars coming and going in the city, a wandering and lonely heart is thinking about you. I wonder if you understand from afar, you will always be my favorite! Do wait for me! Deeply miss

1383 Do you know that you can walk out of my sight, but you will never walk out of my ardent yearning for you? You can stay away from my shadow, but you can never stay away from my deep attachment to you. Deeply miss

The sky is not blue without you! Without your flower, it is not gorgeous! Without your meal, it really doesn't smell good! Without your dream, it is not sweet! Honey, I really want to be with you all the time! Deeply miss

75 1 Don't ask me where I am, and don't worry that I will forget you. When you miss me, I miss you too! Deeply miss

Dear, please don't blame me too much. I just care too much about you. Please don't give me a silent protest. Give me information quickly, because I miss you very much now. Deeply miss

Miss you, miss you so much, write your name in the cup every day, drink water and kiss you. Miss you, miss you so much, write you in your underwear and protect you personally every day. I miss you deeply.

528 The earth endures, and the sky endures; Sometimes both have to end, and this situation is endless! I am waiting for you to come back. Deeply miss

Turn my thoughts into flowers for the mountains, fill the valleys and hills, fill your hair and sideburns, and secretly give them to you, my favorite bookmark, a thousand times and ten thousand times. I miss them deeply.

I miss you here. Do you miss me? Please give me a reply after receiving my message! Deeply miss

Loving you is a sin, but it is also a kind of happiness. I want to forget you, but every time I miss you, I can't give up my unforgettable concern. Deeply miss

When I miss you, I know I really care about you! Deeply miss

I miss you deeply, I miss you deeply ... my love, do you know? For me, your smile is the most important thing! Deeply miss

Looking back on our days together, my mood is hazy. Your young body always comes to my dreams with moonlight, which worries me.

1373 Buddha said that looking back 500 years, it is a brush. Maybe I accidentally bumped into you with a headache. Send me a message when you want to chat! True confession

1372 If there is an afterlife, let's be a pair of mice. Stupid love, plain life, clumsy snuggling, silly together. Even if the snow closes the mountain, you can still nest in the haystack and hold your ear tightly ... confession.

137 1 won't tell you that I like you! I'm so sleepy. I have to read your name to sleep. You have a rest. I'll tell you that I like you when I wake up, okay? True confession

1229 acquaintance is fate, knowing each other is continuation, and staying together is fate. It was fate that brought us together! I hope we can move on, from origin to destiny, from destiny to destiny ... true confession.

1228 loving someone is when you get through the phone and suddenly don't know what to say. It turns out that you just want to hear the familiar voice. What you really want to get through is just a string in your heart.

5 1 Teacher: It's time for you to give your son a bath. Nobody wants to sit with him. Parent: What's it to you? My son is here to learn, not to let you smell, and he is not a mint flower!

Fisherman: Do you have any fresh fish? I want to buy some. Fisherman: It's sold out. There is only one piece of shark meat left. Fisherman: Oh, forget it! I can't go home and tell my wife that I caught a shark.

You are very creative. This is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention, but God has a temper. You must live bravely. Without you, who will set off the beauty of the world?

I let a mosquito find you, let it tell you that I miss you very much, and let it kiss you for me, and it will tell you how much I miss you!

55 warning. Your mobile phone is about to be detonated due to hacking into the signal system. Please remove the cell phone battery immediately and throw it five meters away. Stop.

Someone rode a bike into the street, crossed the intersection and spread his hands. The traffic police exclaimed after seeing it: "Palm, palm." Someone waved happily and replied, "Comrades have worked hard!"

I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I know it's not good, but if I don't tell you what's in my heart, I'll regret it all my life! I won't force you. If it's really hard, don't pay me back five dollars.

I miss you so much in the morning that I can't eat. At noon, I miss you so much that I can't eat. In the afternoon, I miss you so much that I can't eat. At night, I can't sleep because I'm so hungry.

The husband is the one who always keeps appointments early before marriage and always comes back late after marriage. He told you ten words before marriage and ten words after marriage.

When 60 patients entered the dentist's office, they began to pay high fees. Dentist: "You don't have to pay in advance". Patient: "I want to calculate how much money I have in my pocket before you give me an anesthetic!" " "

6 1 I send you a message to wish you a good dream tonight, but I don't think you will see it right away, because pigs are usually sleeping now! ! !

Wife: You told me to face east, but I didn't dare to face west. You told me to climb a stool, but I didn't dare to climb a ladder. You told me to eat dry food, but I didn't dare to be thirsty. You told me to wipe my sweat, but I didn't dare to wipe my nose!

When the beauty turned around, she electrocuted a cow; The beauty turns back, and the man has a nosebleed; The beauty turned three times and Jordan played basketball. Beauty four turns around, Bush resigns to sell balloons.

A teacher said to a group of students who often fail classes, "We used to teach, but now we teach pigs!" " "A classmate replied," You are just a professional pig farmer!

I miss you during the day and at night. I will miss you when I eat, sleep and dream about you. I can't sleep at night without traveling. I'm in pain. When can I get your … 5 million bonus!

Xiao Ming farted loudly in the elevator. The kitten held her nose with one hand and pointed to the sign on the elevator door with the other hand and said, "Don't you see that it says' handle with care'?"

If you are a "star" chasing you, if you are a "comet" waiting for you, if you are a "meteor" ignoring you.

Judge, I insist on divorce. My wife and I have nothing in common. "It doesn't matter. You can go to the translator together. "

You are a little aura, I am a little stupid; You are a little delicate, I am a little rustic; You have a little aroma, I have a little smoke; If you are angry, I won't lose my temper.

Married women are salted fish, divorced women are squid, unmarried women are fresh fish and single women are turtles.

Do you know 7 1? I miss you so much. Guess how much I love you. You don't know? How much I want to be with you and love you by your side … I'm sorry … this is wrong!

Mike likes driving fast. Once he had an accident, woke up from a coma and groaned, "What is this place?" "No.103." Someone answered. Mike: "Ward or prison?"

According to the survey, there are 100 people between the ages of 15 and 35, of whom 65 are working hard, 20 are unemployed, 14 are looking for jobs, and the rest are staring at mobile phones.

Dear users, your mobile phone can be upgraded now. After completion, the mobile phone can display dynamic short messages. Please press 5487, then press the call button. When connecting, please say: I want to upgrade!

Teacher: Classmate, if you were a teacher, what would you like to say to your students most? The students silently stepped onto the platform and said thoughtfully, class is over!

Someone said you were an ass, and I seriously criticized him: What a shame! You can't just say what people look like!

The teacher asked the monitor to check whether the students wearing vests and shorts were not allowed to enter the classroom. The monitor said helplessly to the teacher, "They don't want to take off their clothes for me!" " "

I miss you! Think about it all day and night! Sitting in the toilet still thinking! Miss you! Miss you! I just can't remember who you are! ..... Call me back and tell me who you are.

On the first day of kindergarten class, the teacher poured a basket of building blocks on the table and let the children play freely. I saw that Tintin arranged the blocks in front of him in a horizontal row and pushed forward "I am harmonious!"

A thief was caught by the police when he came to the store to steal for the second time. The policeman asked, "Don't you know you're going to be caught?" The thief shook his head and said, "I see it says' Welcome again'!"

8 1 The biggest problem for women is that they never treat men as human beings. They always think that women deserve to make men suffer, and men deserve to die if they make women suffer.

Attention, this is a "virus message"! But please rest assured that receiving this message will not cause you too much loss, and will only delete all the information stored in your mobile phone.

83 1234567, seven little pigs are drying their bellies, and they are anxious to lose one! It turns out that the pig is so naughty. It hides quietly in the corner and uses its little hooves to open the mobile phone to read information!

When I am in pain and sadness, when I am lonely and lonely, when I am happy and happy, I miss you ... my dear you! "Old white dry!"

Honey, I love you. If you don't believe me, I can bet anyone with the last dime in my pocket.

It is said that a dog can imitate a person. I ran to have a look, but I didn't believe everything I saw: it actually reads short messages on a mobile phone like a person!

I never regret loving you. I will miss you forever. I miss you so much that I can't sleep. If I forget you, I can't study. A little pig is intoxicated in the mobile phone!

Lao Li was on a business trip and got lost. He went over and touched the head of a child playing by the roadside and asked, what is this place, little friend? The child said: This is my head.

I am happy because you are happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am worried because you are thin, I smile because you are strong, haha, I am rich because I sold you-pig!

This is a well-designed short message. If you look at the phone upside down, you will appreciate the wonderful patterns. ....................................................................................................................................................

9 1 Don't drink too much in the morning, but work in the morning; Don't get drunk at noon and have a meeting in the afternoon; Don't drink it at night, your wife will make a noise when you go home!

The vendor selling pants on 92nd Street suddenly saw the industrial and commercial tax and quickly began to collect pants. Tax urgent call: peddler, how dare you pretend to be cool when you see me!

My girlfriend called me: "Hello! Come on, there's no one at home. " I arrived there in high spirits, and there was no one at home.

Customer: "Why does this TV always shake after it is repaired?" Repairman: "Then you are an amateur. This was taken during the earthquake. "

We received your mobile phone message. Maybe your mobile phone is aging. I suggest buying a new one.

Brother, I heard that the boss asked you to take charge of the work from top to bottom. What a surprise! Congratulations on your promotion! Very, very congratulations. I put you in charge of the elevator!

An invigilator stared at a student who threw dice. Strangely, the student threw the same question many times and asked the student why. The student replied helplessly, "Is it too difficult to check?"

The scenery of the examination room, Wan Li papers floating, Wan Li glanced at, looked inside and outside the classroom. The scenery is very good, whispering to each other and gesturing. If you want to compete with the examiner, you need to read the examination paper tomorrow, and you will be very happy and congratulate each other on their achievements.

After someone lost eight bicycles, the ninth one was locked for seven times, leaving a note: See how you steal! Later, he found that the car had an extra lock and a note: see how you ride it!

100 You have entered our surveillance range, don't move! Hands up. Throw away your cell phone and go ahead. Don't glance left and right, or you will be at your own risk!

I was at a loss when I met you. I can't avoid my affectionate eyes. I know your heart and run hard, but you follow me closely. I cried: whose dog is nobody's business? Humor and funny 5 send.

Who are you? I accidentally lost my phone records. I guess you are Sheng Jinbin or Ai Wu Bai, right? Otherwise, it's not Mei Renxing. If not, then I conclude that you are Bian Tai! Humor and funny 9 send

On the journey of our friendship, sometimes you can't see me by your side. It's not that I forgot about you and let you go alone. But I choose to walk behind you. When you accidentally fall down, I will run and step on it! Humor and funny 2 send

Thinking of you is a very happy thing, seeing you is a very happy thing, loving you is what I have been doing, and keeping you in my heart is what I have been doing! But ... I'm kidding, it just happened to me:) Humor and funny.

The clear river is full of feelings, and the flowers of friendship are accompanied by green branches. Who should I tell about the bright future? I'll send the message to an idiot! It is not good to look at you fiercely, but it is better to look at you carefully than to look at you fiercely. Humor 0 send

I can cherish myself in the days without you! You can torture yourself slowly without me! Humor 0 send

If you turn around and frighten a cow to death, if you turn around and knock down a building, if you turn around three times, the boy in the street will jump off the building, if you turn around four times, the water will flow backwards. Humor and funny 2 send

Naked perspective: art in the studio, love in the bridal chamber, science on the operating table, love in the cradle, hooligans in Liuxiang, and atavism in nature. Humor and funny 3 send

A professor told his students: the ancient word Lu means kissing, which is very vivid. At this time, a student asked: What about this word? What are four people and a dog doing? Humorous.

I am determined to do three major things for the people of the whole country: first, build elevators for Mount Everest; Second, tile the Great Wall; Third, reverse the plane. Do three little things: first, put gloves on flies; Second, put a mask on mosquitoes; Three, feed you some pig feed.