Will you report good news but not bad news when you go home for the New Year? What do you talk about "happiness" with your parents?

I think so, too. For many elders, I think it should be like this, especially young people in their thirties. They must think clearly before entering the house and face their families with a smile. After all, parents are over 60 years old, and the pressure is not as great as yours, so for the elderly, sometimes white lies are right.

In fact, sometimes white lies are quite normal, depending on who you are.

To report good news without worrying is to share happiness with parents. At this time, the worries that parents don't report are things that parents can't share emotionally, such as physical discomfort and "things that can't be changed actively" in life and work, because these worries will only increase the worries of parents who are far away from home. Once they say it, they will worry about their parents and tell them when it's over.

The situation of reporting good news but not bad news is to tell them the difficulties I face, but to convey the process of "I am overcoming this difficulty", so that they can understand the difficulties I face and know that I can overcome them on my own.

Detailed explanation

If you only report good news to your parents, it may not be a white lie, but an attack?

Every time I chat with my parents, the phrase "Have you eaten?" "How's your work? Did you get a raise? " "How old are you? It's time to find someone. "

And you always answer: mm-hmm, everything is fine, work is smooth, and you are healthy.

But in fact, you may face unemployment, breaking up, seeing a doctor, moving and so on. But you won't tell your parents about these things. Because you may be two different people in the eyes of your parents and the real you.

You are afraid that they will be disappointed and that they will blame.

So, in the final analysis, there are two reasons for the psychology of reporting good news but not worrying:

1, afraid of parents being hurt

Everything before makes you realize that your failure may be a kind of harm to your parents.

You are afraid that parents can't bear the pain of their own failure, but from a moral point of view, children should share their joy with their parents.

This will not be unfilial and will not make you tired.

2. Being born in a family makes you have high self-esteem.

1: Have a strict parent.

In the process of getting along with our parents for many years, we feel their harshness, so in order not to disappoint them, to gain their recognition, and to maintain our fragile self-esteem, we report good news instead of bad news.

2. Have a controlling parent.

Parents are full of control over their children's papers, no matter how old they are. So children are born with a defense mechanism.

One is to prevent emotional entanglements before each other.

The second is to prevent parents from constantly interfering with their children without border awareness.

3. Emotional parents

The emotional feeling is: guilt.

The other person's powerlessness is projected on you, so if you report your worries, it will make you feel that you are attacking or hurting the other person and make you feel guilty inside.

Your parents' strict education makes your self-esteem system very fragile.

Once you encounter any setbacks, you will feel ashamed and afraid of failure, which makes you unable to speak to your parents.

So don't think it is a virtue to report good news but not bad news. Maybe you're just attacking them in ways you don't even know, and protecting yourself.