A large collection of humorous short messages and funny messages

A collection of humorous short messages and a collection of funny messages

A collection of humorous short messages and a collection of funny messages

A police officer questioned the stalking prisoner but let the prisoner The escaped detective: "Why did it become like this?" "I followed the prisoner until he entered a movie theater. However, I already watched this movie last week."

The so-called social interaction , is a behavioral pattern of talking about a bunch of irrelevant things with a group of irrelevant people. The so-called intuition is what women want men to believe as truth.

The blind man met the police officer on the road, "Hello, Mr. Police Officer!" The blind man said hello first. "Why, can you see me?" The police officer was puzzled. "No, Mr. Police Officer, that's because the dog that led me went straight back."

"Mr. Police Officer, yesterday I came here to report the theft of a valuable piece of jewelry, but this morning we found The things are not missing, so please don’t search anymore.” The police chief frowned and said, “Oh, why didn’t you tell us earlier? We caught the thief this morning and the judge convicted him. Here!"

One person kept smiling throughout the boxing match. The person next to him asked him: "Are you also a boxer?" He replied: "No, I am a dentist."

Watching track and field events. "Dad, why are all these uncles running so fast?" "This is a competition. Whoever runs first is the champion and can also get prizes." "But why are those people behind running so fast? What can they get? ?"

"What does the football game have to do with being late? The writer was drafted into the army, and the squad leader asked: "Have you attended elementary school?" He replied: "I have also attended middle school and obtained a bachelor's degree in college." Three degrees, and..." The squad leader nodded, held up a rubber stamp and printed two words on the paper: "Literacy".

One question is "On Parents". The scholar began his discussion like this: "Father, one thing, belongs to heaven; mother, one thing, belongs to earth..." After reading the paper, the official who reviewed the paper couldn't help laughing, and commented: "The ignorance of heaven and earth gave birth to this monster! "

"Are you married?" John: "Yes." Judge: "With whom?" John: "Don't be clever, everyone knows. "Marrying a woman." John: "You can't say that. For example, your mother has to marry a man."

"Why is it you again? Didn't you also steal a woman three years ago?" Is a coat standing here?” The thief said aggrievedly: “Just think about it, sir, how many years can an old coat last?” Get the company of the cutest and thinnest policeman. Others are very surprised: "You have to fight a drunkard!" "Yes, if two policemen arrest you, and one of them is smaller than the other, which one will you beat first?"

Son : "Mom, I've finished the exam." Mom: "I see you're tired and thin. Mom, please boil an egg for you." Son: "No, the teacher gave it to me on the exam paper."

"Which branch of the military do you want to serve?" "I want to serve on a warship." "Very good. How about we put you on a submarine?" "That's not possible, sir." "Why?" "Because , I have a habit of always opening the window when sleeping."

Mom: "Xiao Fei, you just took the medicine, why didn't you sleep well and rocked your belly?" Xiao Fei: "Just now. I forgot to shake the medicine bottle when I drank it, so I shook it again."

The husband asked his wife: "Which one is better, the longer one?" The wife actually liked the longer one, so she responded: " The short one is good." The husband said, "It's too long for me, so I might as well cut off a section of it." He cut it with a knife. The wife became anxious and said: "Although it has grown a little, it was born from my parents and cannot be moved at all."

"Oh God! My dear Werther! Look, my ` The arm is broken!" Werther said nonchalantly: "What are you yelling about? Look at Koenig, his head is blown off, but he has no complaints."

The old prostitute is nearly six years old. Xun, still leaning on the door to receive guests. A man was doing nails and saw that his pubic hair was white, so he said: "It's time to use black beard medicine." The prostitute asked, "When should I use the medicine to dye my nails?" The answer was: "I applied it overnight." The prostitute shook her head and said: "Honestly, that's right. You said, if he doesn't have this free night, it will be wasted.

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“I am painting a picture of God. "But no one knows what God looks like?" "My mother said. "As soon as I draw it, everyone will know it. ”

There was a delicious foreigner who brought some sesame balls back from China. He would say to everyone he met: “Look at the sesame balls in China, they are so strange!” There is no hole, how do you put the bean paste in? Besides, look, how long it takes to stick these sesame seeds one by one! "

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the principal was furious about the low efficiency of personnel administration. He said: "The person in charge of director business is ignorant; the person in charge of personnel management is unconscious; as an officer He's not doing anything! ”

“It would be great if I could know the author of this painting! The painter standing aside came over and said, "Madam, I am." The lady said: "This painting is wonderful!" Can you tell me who the tailor is who makes the dress for the lady in the painting? "

The title is a sentence in ancient Chinese - "I am confused and I am thinking about it". But the scholar actually copied it into "Sister, I am thinking about it". When the revising official saw this, he wrote and commented: " Brother, you are wrong! ”