Grandma's funeral II (recording a funeral culture that may be lost)

What is the psychology of a funeral, and what is it like to be a close stranger? Grandma died at midnight on the 16th. I got the information after 9 pm on the 17th, but I didn't ask for leave immediately. Because, at that time, there was only a train to Dongxiang high-speed railway station at nearly ten o'clock in the evening, and I was afraid that I would not know the stop when I got back, and I was also afraid of the darkness in the countryside. Therefore, I arrived after she entered the museum and the people in the village began to bow. Looking at grandma's coffin and photos, I didn't feel scared, but after a little study, I put things away, and then I came out to bow down. According to our custom, it is necessary for relatives to bow down before other people in the village begin to bow down. The relatives bowed down in the order of sons and daughters-in-law, daughters and sons-in-law, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, granddaughters and daughters-in-law, granddaughters and granddaughters and granddaughters-in-law, and granddaughters and grandsons-in-law. Although they were at the end of the family's bow, here I felt that there was an inseparable kinship between me and her.

After bowing and bowing, my brothers and I knelt on both sides of the coffin in the order of male left and female right, thanking other people in the village for bowing. Someone outside the door gives out cakes to people who come to bow down, according to the number of people in the family, so there is a swearing saying in our place, "You are just a cake collector." It's useless to scold that person. The only function is to count a person according to his head when he gets the cake.

? After all the people in the village have made a bow, it will be a banquet. This banquet is mainly for the "opposite family" within the five generations. This habit may be that in the past, all weddings, funerals and happy events in the neighborhood were helped and arranged by the relatives within five generations, so the traditional weddings, funerals and happy events all had this meal.

? After the banquet, all the guests left, and it was nine o'clock in the evening to clean up. It was time to cry. In the past, the weeping spirits were all those relatives who cried while lying on the coffin in person, remembering and chanting the life of the deceased. Because, when relatives recall the lives of the deceased, they will naturally be very sad and will suffer.

However, with the discovery of fast food economy, crying for the spirit has also been speeded up. Now people in the band are asked to "cry on their behalf". People in the band have seen many such scenes and know all kinds of rules and routines. The person who cries for the spirit may be good at acting, or he may really have a pity, and crying is really sad. I listened carefully when she cried about her grandmother's life, because I knew nothing about it before. She said that her grandmother was born in Fangjia Village, the outskirts of Dongxiang County. She had many brothers and sisters since childhood, and her family was poor. She often went hungry every meal, but she was smart since childhood. She was admitted to a middle school from a small village and came to Linchuan, where she met her grandfather who worked in the canteen at that time. Just like he came to the F family, he gave birth to three children, father, aunt and uncle … I didn't hear clearly how to live and how to raise children.

At the end, the part about my father was "Who knows, the eldest son didn't wait to see his mother." At that time, I took a look at my father's statue on the table and my mind wandered. At that time, he was still so young, only thirty-nine years old, and he was gone. Now if he is alive in heaven and sees this scene, what will happen, sad or happy? When he died, I was the oldest, 15 years old, my eldest brother was 12 years old, and my youngest brother was only 11 years old. At that time, Big Brother could understand what had happened and stood there quietly. The skinny little brother, who knows nothing, just stands there as a dutiful son, dressed in all-white clothes, pretending to be serious, watching adults do those things. He doesn't cry, and sometimes he can't help laughing when he sees something strange and funny.

Now that grandma has passed away, Pima Dai Xiao's children are all middle-aged, and most of her filial grandchildren with long trailing white horn hats are in their thirties. She is an old man who died a natural death, which is, in our words, "an old man who lived a long life". This contrast makes my tears come down like a spring. I know that I am crying for my father and for my brothers and sisters.

After the crying, the activities of that day ended, and then two men were left to wake up all night, and the others could have a rest. The important duty of the night watchman is to ensure that the incense before the spirit can not be broken all night, and secondly to ensure that there is no fire. If it is before entering the museum, it is necessary to prevent small animals from jumping and swindling corpses. It was the turn of the two younger brothers to wake that night. I watched them all very tired, so I asked if I wanted to cover for them for a period of time. But everyone said that only men can wake, which may be the reason why China always prefers boys to girls. I couldn't wake them, so I had to stay with them for a while.

? The younger brothers need to keep a wake until 4: 3 in the morning, when the "Eight Immortals" come and "steal coffins" with other relatives. 4: 3 is the auspicious time chosen by Taoist priests, but it must be before dawn, and the less others know when stealing coffins, the better. Stealing coffins requires stealing coffins containing the dead to a place with water. Those who live are placed by a pond near the main road, and those who don't live are placed by a pond on a path. Therefore, grandma's is placed on the edge of the doorway pond, and dad is placed on the edge of the remote community pond behind the village. Although I didn't wake up that night, I slept late and got up early because of a stuffy nose. After stealing the coffin, my uncle went to burn paper and knock the gong from time to time to tell the villagers that stealing the coffin was successful. My brothers and I began to clean the hall, the open space at the door and so on. Because wait until after the spirit is the banquet, there are always twenty tables. The rule here is that in the same village, as many people as there are to kiss a family, either to kiss a family or to send a representative to come over, plus the relatives and friends who hosted the funeral and co-organized the funeral children, there are nearly 2 tables in total.

? After these things were done, it was after five o'clock, and the sky gradually brightened. My eldest brother and I went to the pond to see the condition of the coffin and coffin, and then my eldest brother was left to replace my uncle to knock the gong. I stayed with my eldest brother for a while and then went back to sleep. At first, my nose was stuffed up and I couldn't sleep, but there were many trees in the village, and the air in the morning was particularly fresh, mixed with the bitter fragrance of grapefruit flowers. While enjoying this natural oxygen like a garden and a forest through the window, I slowly fell asleep while absorbing enough oxygen, until my younger brother came to wake me up and drink porridge.

? When drinking porridge, it's about seven o'clock, and neighbors, relatives and friends are coming one after another. Some sit with stools after breakfast, and some drink porridge with them without breakfast. After we finish eating porridge, we will wear our mourning hats and bow down to grandma's coffin. This is the last farewell. Everyone in the village got up early, and when we came to bow down after drinking porridge, many people had accumulated in front of the coffin.

I don't know whether it's because we went late or because of the rules. This time, we didn't have to worship first, and we didn't have to kneel down after worship. So as soon as I said, "Began to bow down," everyone in the village bowed down one by one, and I stood by and went up, but every time I wanted to go up, another one immediately started to bow down. I had to wait quietly by the side, watching my aunt lying on the coffin crying especially sadly, and my aunt was also wiping her tears. My eyes are a little moist, and when I think of my father's funeral, tears can't help flowing down.

I wanted to wait for all the people in the village to worship before worshipping, but the day before yesterday, the Taoist priest said that I was too old this year, and I had to avoid it when I picked up the coffin. Seeing that the people in the village were almost finished worshipping, most of my relatives and friends came from afar. I was afraid that I would pick up the coffin soon, so I quickly distributed three incense sticks and burned some paper money beside me. When someone finished worshipping, I quickly cut in a queue. There are cousins of my aunt's family who wear filial hats with red circles in front and long tails behind, and the filial armbands are red. The little nephew, that is, grandma's great-grandson, is the same as ours except that the forehead circle is yellow and the armbands are yellow.

? After the final farewell ceremony, as my grandmother's granddaughter and cousin, my grandmother's granddaughter, I was arranged in the third column of the funeral team to choose the flower baskets representing my grandchildren and grandchildren respectively, ready to send my grandmother the last journey. In fact, the cemetery is just outside the village, if you walk less than one kilometer by the usual road. However, the funeral is different, and it needs to go around left and right according to the prescribed route, winding and walking a long way. Old people who live a long life walk the whole journey, and young people who don't live a long life cut in that route from the middle.

The funeral procession also requires that the person who leads the way at the front is usually the man with the lowest life in the village or elsewhere, who is generally a man in his forties with some physical disabilities and no children. He is carrying a torch made of rice husk wrapped in straw on one shoulder, while holding paper money made of papyrus inside the outer circle. It is said that on the one hand, it is to smoke away evil spirits, and on the other hand, it is to use paper money to "scatter money" to buy a road for the dead in the coffin behind. I will call him "the obstacle sweeper" here. Behind the "obstacle-sweeper" is the person who plays the white flag. There are two white flags, which are usually played by grandchildren. The priority is to kiss first, then to spare men, and then to spare women. Originally, it was said that the eldest brother and younger brother played the white flag. However, due to the death of his father, the eldest brother needed to hold a statue on the top, and the task of playing the flag fell to my aunt's cousin. When my grandfather died, my younger brother was still young, and I played the white flag. Behind the white flag is my cousin and I, two granddaughters, who pick flower baskets. Behind us is a team holding wreaths and next to it is a team setting off firecrackers. Behind the wreath procession are Taoist priests who ring bells. Behind the Taoist priests, there is an uncle holding a coffin. Behind the uncle, there is a big brother holding a statue. Behind the big brother, there are "Eight Immortals" carrying coffins. In the past, the Eight Immortals were all young adults. I remember being one of the Eight Immortals when my father was around, but now most of those Eight Immortals have died young. This time, grandma's death was a temporary "new Eight Immortals team" between her fifties and seventies. Only one old Eight Immortals in her sixties still exists. Next to the coffin are daughters, daughters-in-law, and sisters, who are crying while holding the coffin. Grandma's funeral mother is absolutely unwilling to attend, so this time her coffin is next to her aunt and aunt-grandpa's half-sister.

Behind the coffin is a vast funeral procession. When we were young, there were few rings, so there were many mourners behind the coffin. Some people bought a long white cloth with a width of about one meter to show the popularity of the deceased or the popularity of the deceased's children, and everyone pulled it one by one. Because everyone walked at different speeds, the white cloth fluctuated from the side, so someone named it "Pull"

? At the command of the Taoist priest, the coffin was lifted at 9 o'clock. The mighty funeral procession walked across the road and the bridge, sometimes trotting and sometimes stopping for about three or four kilometers, and finally sent grandma to the cemetery outside the village-Diansi Mountain. After our children and grandchildren discussed where to bury them, the only son of my uncle-grandmother who was still alive kneeled to dig three times to determine the location, and wrapped the dug soil with gold and silver jewelry in a red cloth bag, and the daughter-in-law took it back with her clothes. Because my mother didn't attend this time, my eldest brother's daughter-in-law Huai Erbao couldn't attend, so my younger brother's daughter-in-law came back. They said it was called making a fortune. After that, the Eight Immortals began to dig. We also took off the white mourning hat, put on red cotton linen, folded some plants with green leaves at the edge of the cemetery and brought them back. This is called "wearing red and folding green", which symbolizes that future generations will flourish in all aspects after the funeral and will last forever. After approving the red and folding the green, we began to go back. Because we asked to throw the coffin in the grave, as long as we go back with the elephant, the eldest brother will hold the elephant's face inward. Aunt needs to wear a black cloth while walking and shouting "Mom, go back for dinner." After I came back, I didn't know. It's just that they asked me to throw the green in the pigsty, and if there is no pigsty, I will throw it in the invisible space next to it.

After coming back and resting for a while, it was the Taoist priest who recited the scriptures. I didn't hear anything clearly, except the sentence "There is a fire in the east and a chicken in the west". Then I grabbed a mixture of soybeans and rice and threw it at the brazier in the east and the rooster in the west. Then the fire was popcorn and the chicken was pecking rice to eat. What remains of my memory is that the Taoist priest said "postscript" after ringing the bell, chanting and throwing beans and rice (transliteration here, I don't know anything, but it may be perfunctory. ), after a pause, we said "good" in unison. When the Taoist priest said "send thousands of cigarettes", we should put two packs of cigarettes and say that "when the boss gets rich", we should give money to show our approval and accept these good lottery tickets. Now think about it, these are really too pit. It is no wonder that our tangible words are difficult to understand, which is called "like Taoist chanting", and the description of graphics is "Taoist painting".

? After the Taoist priest finished the colorful ceremony, it was past ten o'clock, and the funeral was basically finished. The rest was the next banquet and the closing ceremony three days later.

? Grandma's funeral ended in this way. Although I didn't cry my eyes out, I also saw some humanity from these customs and manners, as well as the ancestors' thinking about life and life and death. Longing for a better life and a smooth life.