What should a blind date do?

No matter what form of blind date, if the man is satisfied, he will show it. Generally, the woman is given a small red envelope, commonly known as the "meeting gift", and even other family members have to take a ride. In Liu Qing and other places, the man's family will stay for dinner before leaving. In Puxian area, if the blind date eats the snacks made by the other party-eggs and noodles, it means that he likes them. In Jianyang, before the young men leave, the girl will personally make a bowl of sugar water for the young men to drink. The boys will be satisfied after drinking this bowl of sugar water. If you drink half a bowl, it means that you still need to consult with the matchmaker and leave room; If you just touch your lips symbolically, it's out of courtesy to show your disapproval of the marriage.

[Edit this paragraph] Blind date

Local folk blind dates between men and women are not only held in women's or men's homes, but also quite a few so-called "meetings" between men and women at fairs and temple fairs. That is, both men and women are brought to meet by the matchmaker or parents, and the matchmaker is far away from the crowd. The two sides can only look at each other, but they can't see clearly. This method is called "looking back". Especially for men and women, one of them has physical defects or other problems, and some parents collude with the matchmaker to invite other men and women to take their place, saying that the deer is blind to the beauty, which is called "being the number one". Only after marriage can the truth come out. It's too late for the cheated party to regret, and it's inevitable to feel sad secretly, submit to humiliation, hold tears and hold a grudge for life. In the old society of "being loyal to one's own life", since raw rice has been cooked, one has to admit that one's life is hard and one's life is sinful. After a long time, you will be happy with it for a long time.

[Edit this paragraph] is related to it

Many people think that blind date is a backward way of love, and it is inhuman and snobbish to constantly measure each other's family background and living conditions before they have feelings. Therefore, many young people always find fault with each other and are unwilling to make friends when they meet with their parents and relatives.

[Edit this paragraph] Expert

study

But psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania in the United States published a paper in the latest issue of Evolution and Human Behavior, pointing out that blind date is actually very important. The researchers conducted the research through a professional matchmaker company. They found that before arranging a blind date, the matchmaker company usually compares the ideal situation of their "other half" with the reality in detail, and thinks that they are a good match before making a decision to arrange a blind date. However, no matter how well the written materials match, most people decide to stop dating after meeting for a few seconds, and women have less time to make a decision. Kurban, an assistant professor at the University of Pennsylvania who led the research, believes that blind date is not a "game world". In "speed dating", people are not judged by written materials, but are driven by intuition. From the first sight of each other to the formation of judgment, the whole journey is only about 3 seconds, which is too late to be measured by "snobbish" factors such as money and power. So, don't give up the opportunity to let your intuition judge.

suggestion

The researchers also gave some advice to those who are going on blind dates, because they found that although people always think that men pay more attention to women's appearance when choosing a partner, the experimental results are just the opposite. When asked to rate the attractiveness of a date, women have higher requirements for appearance than men. This means that if a man wants to win a woman's heart in three seconds, it is very important to have a steady and bright appearance besides preparing a wonderful opening speech.

[Edit this paragraph] The purpose of blind date

Blind date is the most complex and difficult to express and explain in human emotions. Because everyone's personality is different, and because of its secrecy and complexity, blind date opens a channel for this complex emotion. The purpose of blind date is strong, which leads to the failure of blind date. A person's talent can't be fully displayed in a short time, so spending more time with each other is an opportunity for others and for yourself. In the boundless wilderness of time, there is neither an early step nor a late step, and there is very little love that happens to catch up. When love is not produced in the best way, it is also a way to seek with the help of external factors. Just like there is a universal saying: "All roads lead to Rome", so is the happiness of love. No matter which way you choose, finding your own happiness is the real purpose. Blind date is just one of the ways. Love with "encounter"; Getting married through "blind date" may be a more rational state of life. However, is blind date a beautiful encounter? I think everyone will have their own understanding. Romantic encounter, love at first sight, is everyone's dream, not everyone can meet. When love comes late, it is better to find it in more other ways than alone. Blind date, in the traditional way, shows modern collective love and affection, which may be a little less romantic than free love, but a form will have its own beauty. In the process of blind date, it doesn't matter whether there will be love or not, and whether you will get married in the end. Treat life with a good attitude, and every moment is brand new. A happy, harmonious and happy life is everyone's ideal. Happiness is in your own hands.

[Edit this paragraph] Facing the blind date mentality

Once a person reaches the age of 30, he is still alone. Even if you don't care, there are still countless good people who are anxious about your life. It can be said that the emperor is in no hurry. What they are most keen on is to introduce you to the thin swallows in the world. Therefore, an older youth will start a very important chapter in his life-dating life, and can taste the ups and downs. Undeniably, for an unmarried youth, the role of blind date is immeasurable. Stupid older youth, in particular, have no courage in love, have no confidence in themselves, and stay away from the opposite sex. They really need constant encouragement and supervision from the matchmaker, constant advocacy from the matchmaker, and extensive publicity-just like VCD, which was unsalable some time ago, otherwise it will be difficult to sell. However, even if the matchmaker works miracles, you may not meet the woman of your dreams, so as to get along well with Qin Jin and grow old together. A more professional matchmaker may do a survey in advance to find out that you two are generally suitable and then make a match. Just not all matchmakers are so dedicated. There are many blind dates, but the good things have not been done yet, and the expectations for blind dates are greatly reduced. Just like buying lottery tickets, if you buy more, you will lose a penny. When you see the lottery, you will tell yourself not to be stupid again. And the matchmaker is not omnipotent, and it is not impossible to be blind without a matchmaker. So I am quite resistant to the game of blind date, which brings together unrelated men and women and tells you that you are getting married-even if you accidentally think about it, you will be afraid. However, people are contradictory, even if they don't believe in something very much, they still have the psychology of trying again. Moreover, when a person is old, he will be much more open-minded, just like a fairy. It's better to believe than not to believe-a dead horse is a living horse doctor, and maybe fate will come at some point. So every once in a while, all kinds of funny or sad blind date stories will be staged under the careful director of the matchmaker. On the other hand, even if you don't meet the person in your life every time you go on a blind date, even if you don't get any return every time you pay, what kind of enjoyment is it to attend all kinds of blind date banquets with a normal heart, face the blind date life coldly and feel the warmth of the world? !

[Edit this paragraph] Views on blind date

①

There are many ways to bring two people together, and blind date is one of them, an opportunity to know others! One of the biggest differences between blind date and self-seeking is that both parties report the same purpose, and self-seeking must first determine the relationship between friends, then good friends, then close friends, then lovers, and finally determine whether to get married. This process is difficult and brain-consuming. Blind date, everyone knows that they are getting to know each other better on the basis of the reported object. It saves a lot of things, but it takes a long time to get into the state or find the feeling. So it's better to try once than not at all, and you don't have to listen to the saying that it's better to find it yourself. Both traditional blind date and self-seeking have their own advantages and disadvantages, which should be treated dialectically. After all, blind date is to find out the side information first and then study the positive information by yourself. Safer, higher safety factor. Looking for it yourself is based on your own experience and way of doing things. It is inevitable that there will be mistakes or mistakes, and it will be very troublesome for parents to disagree. However, one advantage is that you can get the satisfaction and sense of accomplishment of the self-realization value of blind date comics. After all, there is a process from strangeness to intimacy that people will never forget. Blind date has no such vague color, which is very realistic. But then again, after a blind date, you can go from strange to intimate romance, and it is not without a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. The most important thing is to find someone who deserves the love of your life. If this can be done, it is advisable to find it by yourself or on a blind date.

②

It is worth mentioning that since it is a process of getting to know others, blind date often enters the state from face to face, which is often not as long as its own meaning, so it is difficult to succeed, because in just a few hours, it is difficult to understand a person's heart, including his or her outlook on life, conduct and lifestyle. So, if you don't hate yourself, give each other a chance, a chance to go deep into each other's hearts. Moreover, if you feel inappropriate, don't hurt each other's self-esteem. Furthermore, don't attach too much importance to material conditions. Although two people need a certain material foundation together, we are both young people. It is also a way for two people to get to know each other and deepen their feelings together. Personally, I don't think it is appropriate. With the foundation of sharing weal and woe, the future road will be better and life will be sweeter. The woman should pay more attention to the man's character and sense of responsibility. The man should not only pay attention to his figure and appearance, but also tolerate each other. In this way, the chances of successful blind date will be much greater. If misfortune can't start, don't be too picky about each other's shortcomings. After all, you are already a person who has nothing to do with yourself. It's really unnecessary. The so-called "business is not righteous", mutual respect is the magic weapon of happiness on the road of life.

[Edit this paragraph] Blind date, and then go on the road when you are ready.

Unique charm

Once upon a time, blind date became a very fashionable topic. There are always enthusiastic people around those school-age young people who act as "matchmakers", and they have made a beautiful marriage. Since entering the information age, people have known more and more means and media, and blind date has become synonymous with "conservatism". But it is undeniable that blind date, an ancient medium, still has its unique charm.

introducer

Generally speaking, as an introducer of blind date, people often have a good understanding of both men and women, not to mention their roots, but also their qualities and their temperament. Therefore, before blind date, the matching rate of men and women in hardware-family, education and personality-is often better than other media means, such as QQ and Internet, and the success rate is also better than the latter. Of course, this is only the first step of blind date. If you can accept blind date and expect to find your soul mate through this ancient medium, there are several things you can't ignore-

First, the "blind date" before the blind date.

You have to determine what kind of person you are looking for and what kind of requirements you have for his "hardware", such as work, income, family, education, appearance and so on. Don't be embarrassed, speak out boldly, this is the "blind date" before blind date. If you are an apple, you must choose the one that suits you best from thousands of apples. If you are a mango, you should also pick out the mango blind date banner that suits you. No one will force an apple to marry a mango. Obviously, the matching rate of "hardware" is too low.

Second, warm up.

If the other party's hardware conditions meet your requirements, you can ask the contact person to give the other party a contact information first. By phone, text message, etc. Communicate in advance to "know yourself and know yourself, and fight in every battle." Please note that this is very important. Many people, blind date, will undoubtedly lose; Blind date again, lost again. The bad thing is that the blind date did not communicate in advance. Suddenly, somewhere, two people are sitting together with their eyes wide open. I don't know where to start. How high can this blind date success index be?

Third, the time and place of blind date.

Modern people are in a hurry, but this is not the reason for "no time". It is best to choose the time of blind date during the day, so that both sides have more time and can fully carry out in-depth exchanges. The location of blind date varies from person to person, but the place that is too noisy and lively is not an ideal blind date location, which will also increase the invisible pressure on the parties.

Fourth, don't attach too much importance to the "first side".

Many friends around me know each other through blind dates, but when it comes to meeting for the first time, they will use "funny" and "no feeling" to describe it. After several meetings, the two sides will have a good impression on each other. Indeed, in this world, the probability of love at first sight is too low, and we can't demand others.

Fifth, don't die if the blind date is unsuccessful.

Many colleagues' blind dates are not very good, and their attitudes have become bad. Actually, it's not necessary The blind date is introduced by friends, so we should take the overall situation into consideration, not looking at the monk's face or the Buddha's face. A blind date can be a friend even if she can't be a lover. It's embarrassing to tear your face.

[Edit this paragraph] The three stages that blind date must go through

The first stage:

Look at the accumulation period, showing timidity and nervousness. Just like the students' first entrance examination, they feel uneasy and nervous. The chances of dating again for the second time or later are not high, and they are generally "a bright light". Since then, I have forgotten the Jianghu.

The second stage:

In the period of bold development, when blind date becomes a living habit, seeing more is just like losing something, so you won't be nervous and picky anymore. Basically, I will visit you as soon as I have time, and I will never be shy again. I'm embarrassed to ask this and that, but like the film policeman, I know each other's family, hobbies, education, work and even seven aunts, nephews and nieces like the back of my hand. In this period, if you can meet someone who can talk to you, and all the conditions are ok, you must seize it, because this is "meeting the right person at the right time", and you can't imagine a better future. You should always alert yourself with the story of "The blind man broke the stick".

The third stage:

Waiting for the rabbit. Once we miss the best opportunity, when the blind date turns from habit to pain again, all we can do is rely on the virtue of past lives. Since regret has no effect, then devote yourself to work or honor your parents and wait for the "super pie" that falls from the sky. Amen, send blessings, only blessings.

summary

To sum up, both men and women must marry themselves or win their own hearts in their golden age. Only in this way can we comfort the hearts of countless people, parents, relatives, friends and, most importantly, their own hearts! The so-called "flowers can be folded straight, so don't wait for no flowers to fold" is also true!

[Edit this paragraph] Nine embarrassments of blind date

Five embarrassing situations for women to go to a man's house for blind date are:

The first big embarrassment: four generations of boyfriends live under one roof. As soon as they entered his house, there were four old people on the scene. Although smart boyfriends will introduce them one by one, they can be called boyfriends. Nodding is ridiculous, but it doesn't show enough respect for each other. I'm in an awkward position where I want to scream but I can't scream. The second biggest embarrassment: the first time I ate at my boyfriend's house, my boyfriend's mother was afraid that you were shy and cooked a lot of dishes for you. You didn't eat one of them, and you were afraid to eat it. But my boyfriend's mother thought it was a good dish and put chopsticks in the bowl for you, so that you couldn't eat it or throw it away. It was embarrassing. The third biggest embarrassment: I suddenly have something to do and want to leave my boyfriend's house, but all the members of her boyfriend's house are busy entertaining. It is not good to leave by yourself at this time, and it is not good to stay. Embarrassment overflows. The fourth biggest embarrassment: I just came to my boyfriend's house with curiosity, but my boyfriend's house took it seriously and invited many relatives and friends to dinner. Actually, they're here to help with the blind date. If you break up, you will be ashamed to see people in the future, and people will experience the embarrassment of life everywhere and all the time. The fifth biggest embarrassment: A group of people broke up and wanted to go home. The boyfriend's family insisted on living in his house by themselves. His house is very crowded, and it's a little uncomfortable to share a bed with a strange boyfriend's wife. Really: "Life is awkward."

The four major embarrassments of a man going to a woman's house for blind date are:

The first big embarrassment: I just arrived at my girlfriend's house and found that her family had gathered a large group of people who came to blind date. There were many women, and then I sat down. A woman, with her mouth wide open, carefully assumed the role of the old lady of the neighborhood Committee, concurrently serving as the household registration officer of the police station and the judge of the criminal court, and made a realistic historical review of all aspects within three generations. In front of so many strangers, some people should avoid it, but they can't avoid it, so they have to give clear answers, which makes people have to be in an embarrassing state. The second biggest embarrassment: the girlfriend and the whole family are busy with their arrival, but they are doing nothing and wandering around. The big deal is to watch TV in the living room and want to be a helper, but my girlfriend's mother doesn't want to help. Help, my future mother-in-law won't let me, I won't help, and I'm afraid my future mother-in-law will look down on me, which makes people embarrassed. The third biggest embarrassment: it's time to eat. The future father-in-law likes to drink a little wine. He doesn't usually drink, and it's hard to say. When he drinks, he makes himself a great Guan Gong. The most terrible thing is that the future father-in-law will drink too much when he is happy. In the future, my mother-in-law wanted to attack and was not good at it, so she had to play it by ear and was embarrassed. The fourth biggest embarrassment: there is something wrong with the electrical appliances in my girlfriend's house. I don't know whether to test my future son-in-law, or whether it's really broken and I don't have time to fix it. Anyway, will we have to pretend to repair it for a while before we find that an existing small part is broken, and we have to go out and buy it with great effort, and finally fix that guy, but in the future, my mother-in-law will have to pay for the parts, which makes people feel embarrassed. ...

[Edit this paragraph] Modern people's views on blind date:

(1) elimination type:

Blind date is a rigid thing for modern people, so many young people choose "flash dating". In this big environment, it is not surprising that some girls may fall in love with a boy because of a small riddle or a so-called bet between girls. So I think blind date will only appear in some rural areas or areas with relatively sparse population and large level differences. The words blind date and flash love do not prove that fashion is out of date, but the product of the times.

(2) Accommodation type:

As a traditional wedding etiquette in China for thousands of years, blind date has its importance, rationality and value. So far, it can't be said to be a relic of conservative history, nor can it be equated with social feudalism and backwardness. Its existence is not in contradiction with the current social form in China. Therefore, it may exist in China for a long time.

(3) Optimism:

In today's society, the pace of people's life is accelerating, and people have less and less leisure time after work. Real life can't give people enough time to get to know each other, so blind date is undoubtedly a good way to solve this problem quickly. Moreover, there are a large number of leftover women in modern society, but the ratio of male to female in China is extremely inconsistent. Coupled with the cruel reality of modern women's concept of love and marriage, such as having a house and a car to get married, the post-80 s generation generally faces the reality of late marriage. Generally speaking, blind date may become the trend of contemporary China people, and it will continue to develop rapidly.

[Edit this paragraph] What is a blind date?

Blind date seems old-fashioned, and was once regarded as a "scourge" by new and new men and women, but now many people have gradually accepted blind date, and they have realized the essence of blind date. The so-called blind date is nothing more than bringing two strangers together through a matchmaker, which is a good way to get in touch with the opposite sex. Blind date is more real than online dating. After all, the matchmaker still knows something about each other's family and personality. Blind date is safer than chance encounter, and love at first sight often doesn't last long. There are many ways to meet the opposite sex, and blind date is just one of them. So blind date is suitable for anyone at any level. It is more suitable for busy older single men and women. Blind date is not an ideal way of love, but it is still applicable to marriage. Although a little artificial, blind date may not be tacky, but some matchmakers' rhetoric makes blind date tacky. When the matchmaker introduced both sides, he said all the advantages. The two people on blind date only saw shortcomings with critical eyes.

[Edit this paragraph] The role of the matchmaker

Matchmaker plays an important role in the whole blind date process, but not every matchmaker can do it well. There is a saying before blind date that "you can be friends if you can't be lovers", which is a kind of retirement. It seems that most blind dates are very formal and have become a purposeful understanding. The so-called first impression, just look at each other's external image. If it's not your favorite type, it's hard to meet again. This kind of blind date is nothing more than putting two strangers together for an exhibition. It's always awkward to put two strangers together for the purpose of getting married.

[Edit this paragraph] Happiness is in your own hands.

Blind date is the most complex and difficult to express and explain in human emotions. Because everyone's personality is different, and because of its secrecy and complexity, blind date opens a channel for this complex emotion. The purpose of blind date is strong, which leads to the failure of blind date. A person's talent can't be fully displayed in a short time, so spending more time with each other is an opportunity for others and for yourself. In the boundless wilderness of time, there is neither an early step nor a late step, and there is very little love that happens to catch up. When love is not produced in the best way, it is also a way to seek with the help of external factors. Just like there is a universal saying: "All roads lead to Rome", so is the happiness of love. No matter which way you choose, finding your own happiness is the real purpose. Blind date is just one of the ways. Love with "encounter"; Getting married through "blind date" may be a more rational state of life. However, is blind date a beautiful encounter? I think everyone will have their own understanding. Romantic encounter, love at first sight, is everyone's dream, not everyone can meet. When love comes late, it is better to find it in more other ways than alone. Blind date, a traditional way to interpret modern love, may be a little less romantic than free love, but a form will have its own beauty. In the process of blind date, it doesn't matter whether there will be love or not, and whether you will get married in the end. Treat life with a good attitude, and every moment is brand new. A happy, harmonious and happy life is everyone's ideal. Happiness is in your own hands.

[Edit this paragraph] Four steps of Salar blind date

Perfect wedding idea, the suggestion of gathering the bride MM, the marriage of young Salar men and women is generally divided into four steps: first, blind date. When a man sees a girl, he looks for a matchmaker (usually a man) 1-2 to pay a New Year call to the girl's home. If the woman's parents agree, they will get the consent of the girl herself, her in-laws and uncles. Followed by Nadine. Second, after the woman's family agreed, the man chose the date and still begged the matchmaker to send the "tea list" to the woman's family. Usually he sends a pair of earrings, a piece of material and two pieces of tea. When a woman accepts a tea order, it means a formal commitment that no one else is allowed. After the parents of the early woman agreed, they also invited their in-laws and uncles to eat "oil stir" with the matchmaker. After eating, the matchmaker also brought back some reply men to show that they will never be different. The third is to send a bride price, which the Salars call "Mahler Ayndel". Through the matchmaker, the man sends a bride price according to the amount agreed by both parties in advance, and the amount of the bride price depends on the economic situation of the man's family. Finally, the wedding ceremony, where both men and women choose an auspicious day (mostly a gathering day in Islam, that is, Friday's "main festival"), invite the imam to read "Nikahai" (Marriage Sutra) and give the marriage motto, so that marriage can be officially recognized.

[Edit this paragraph] Matters needing attention in blind date

First: dress clean, that's for sure. Even if you don't dress up, your family and friends will dress you up, otherwise you won't be allowed to go out. Second: pay attention to small things, because two people are strangers, so every detail will become a factor in examining each other. Third: try to avoid financial matters, such as the other party thinks you are not fashionable or too stingy. And you don't know what the other party is like, so try to avoid it and try to let the third party pay the bill. Or go to the park together, take a walk, and go to a place where you don't spend money. Fourth: Don't swear. Pay attention to the bad habit of mantra. Fifth: Don't be nervous, have a contempt for everything and treat each other as paper tigers. So you stand on high. Have psychologically defeated each other. Sixth: Don't brag about each other. Cows can brag at any time, but don't brag at this time. Cows that brag to the sky are embarrassed when they fall. Seventh: be humorous, okay? When a girl meets a humorous boy, she usually smiles and the atmosphere is less tense. Please try to remember a few healthy jokes before dating, not dirty jokes, remember to remember. Eighth: Pay attention, when laughing, girls should laugh mischievously or gently, that is, smile. Never open your mouth and laugh wildly, because it's easy to spit the liquid in your mouth into each other's face. Ninth: Most men like gentle, naughty and lovely girls. Most girls like mature, humorous and neat men. Just analyze each other by yourselves. Tenth: Be careful when you meet a girl who doesn't like to laugh. They are usually blind date experts, so men's fake actions are easy to find. Or the other person is a woman who is deeply hurt by a man. So try to be different. If you like each other, you might as well give a difficult performance. It's hard ... if you don't have the desire to conquer, just let it go. The summary is not complete enough. I hope you can add more. By the way, I wish you a happy blind date, kill each other with your eyes and let each other be completely conquered by you ... [1]