Ask for funny messages, not junk ones.

1. Female: "I can marry anyone as long as I have money." Man: "Will you marry the safe in the bank?"

2. When arguing, the difference between a man and a woman is like the difference between a pistol and a machine gun.

3. My wife wants to lose weight, so she goes riding every day. As a result, the horse lost forty pounds in a month.

4. Patient: "Doctor, you left the scissors in my stomach." "Never mind, I still have one."

5. Judge: Why do you print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently, because I can't print real money.

6. Wife: "Men are all timid." Husband: "not necessarily, otherwise why would I marry you?"

7. The first part: hahahahahaha, and the second part: hehehehehehe. Horizontal criticism: mental illness

8. The first year: he said, she listened. The following year: She said and he listened. The third year: they said that the neighbors listened.

9. If the cold world we live in is still difficult to change, at least I still have your face to melt the ice and snow.

1. Thief A: "Count quickly how much money was robbed today?" Thief B: "No, just read the newspaper tomorrow."

11. Teacher: "Peter, do you know how many years a mouse can live?" Peter: "It depends on the cat's mind."

12. The kangaroo said to the dog, "I can put my mobile phone in my bag, and you can only hang it on your ass!"

13. Pig Bajie: I changed my name to Sai Pan An, and many beautiful women are waiting for me! The Monkey King: Unless you surf the Internet, you idiot.

14. The daughter asked her mother, "Was Dad shy before?" "If he wasn't shy, you would be at least four years older now!"

15. Father: You are so old, it's time to find a wife. Son: Yes, but there are so many people. Whose wife am I looking for?

16. Female: "Why do you always chew candy when you talk to me?" Man: "How come there are so many sweet words without chewing sugar?"

17. Woman A: "Does your fiance know your age?" Woman B: "Yes, he knows part of it."

18. "I regard her as the North Pole!" "How?" "She is as cold as ice and attracts me like a magnet."

19. It's hard to achieve

Mahaha was driving along a country road with his family. Suddenly, he found a frog crossing the road. Mahaha quickly stopped the car, stepped down and put the frog on the side of the road. The frog thanked Mahaha very much and promised to realize Mahaha's wish. So, Mahaha said to the frog,

"There will be a dog selection contest next week, and I want my dog to win the first place." The frog asked to see the dog, and Ma Haha took the dog out of the car. The frog saw that the dog was stupid and fat, and it only had three legs.

"I'm afraid this wish is hard to come true. You'd better change another wish!" The frog said with guilt.

"well, let my wife win the first prize in the next beauty contest!" " Mahaha demanded.

The frog asked Mahaha's wife to get out of the car, looked at it and said, "Can I have a look at that dog just now?"

2. Such an ugly woman

There was a woman who was so ugly that men avoided seeing her. A woman's biggest wish is to be kidnapped by traffickers, and then ... So, whenever night falls, she lingers on a sparsely populated country road, waiting for that moment to come.

Everything comes to him who waits. Late that night, she was finally kidnapped by a kidnapper and stuffed into the car. The kidnapper came to see the kidnapper leader with his "victory fruit", ready to ask for a reward. However, when the kidnapper leader saw the woman's appearance, he could not help cursing the kidnapper for his lack of vision and ordered him to let the woman leave the car immediately. The kidnapper told the woman to get off according to the boss's order, but the woman didn't mean to get off at all. After a long stalemate, the kidnappers used threats, intimidation, beatings and other means to let the woman get off the bus, but the woman never gave in and she just didn't get off the bus. When the kidnapper leader saw it, he shouted helplessly: "Forget it! Don't want the car! "

21. Unfair

A priest and a bus driver died at the same time, but the bus driver went to heaven and the priest went to hell. The priest, who devoted his life to the church but went to hell, felt quite unfair.

so he complained to god. Priest: "Lord! I