Two jokes

(joke 1) I got up early in the morning and went to work. I found a steel shovel with three dollars in my pocket and handed it to my husband. My husband pretended to be shy and said, "Did you sleep with me last night?" When I saw that he looked like a hippie, I nodded and rode out. My husband shouted behind me, "Wife, I feel like this. How can I get 5 yuan?"

(joke 2) Although the weather is getting colder and colder, there are still mosquitoes at home. Er Ya was bitten by a mosquito last night. Ask me this morning, mom, do you know why mosquitoes don't bite you? I asked doubtfully, why? Er Ya told me in a firm tone: "Because you are ugly!"

(joke 3) One day, I passed a seafood shop after work, and I couldn't help but want to go in to relieve my craving, so I sent a text message to my husband "asking for instructions". My husband said he would treat you to seafood when he got home. There are two famous dishes, one is a refreshing cold dish, and the other is a nutritious dish for supplementing calcium. I was ecstatic all the way, riding a "two-wheeled vehicle" and rushing back to Yang Er Village. I went straight to the kitchen and saw two "seafood feasts": a refreshing dish-cold kelp, and a nutritious dish supplemented with calcium-scrambled eggs with shrimp skin. ...

(joke 4) Er Ya drew a picture and asked me who would like it, Da Ya. We pretended to be polite and refused. Daya told her mother! I said to my sister! Er Ya immediately said, I'll pick it, and then I started pointing at Da Ya and me: "Pick a puppy, and whoever you pick is who you are."