Why do girls seldom take the initiative to send messages to boys (girls don't take the initiative to find you)

Hello, everyone, your senior emotional old driver chestnut, on time. There is always an old iron who asks me: Why don't girls take the initiative to find me? What the hell does she mean? Why do I always take the initiative alone? Chestnut found that both men and women don't want to be the active parties in love. It seems that once you take the initiative, you lose. However, in love, why do girls often not take the initiative?

Does she dislike you and deliberately ignore you, or does she like you and just won't take the initiative? If she wants to hang you up and treat you as a spare tire, then you don't have to struggle, just stop loss in time. I'm afraid many girls don't have the word "initiative" in their dictionaries, so you can't misunderstand her and miss it for nothing. Next, Chestnut reveals three kinds of psychology that girls like you but don't take the initiative, and gives some simple and practical suggestions. The old irons seized the opportunity and held her heart hard.

The first reason is that there are very few members of the opposite sex around hidden needs, and even if there are, they don't know how to communicate and interact. Longing to be loved, but not knowing how to display charm. Can't attract the opposite sex, but also feel inferior and dare not love. Love is just a secret love, hiding your needs. I would rather miss true love than take the initiative to fight for it. For this kind of girl, you should try to keep her sense of boundary and keep the dividing line between you and her.

Don't show off and make public too much, let her become the focus of the public. Compared with the surprise at dinner, giving her grandiose gifts in the street, low-key dating places and practical gifts can impress her more. There is no need to stick to her often, because the more you are eager to get close, the more she will resent it.

Besides, don't help her make choices and decisions. You think it's good for her, but asking her for more advice is what she wants. For example, if she wants to speculate in stocks, but doesn't know which stock has a good prospect, don't tell her which stock to buy. Let her name a few stocks she is optimistic about first, then analyze the advantages and disadvantages of these stocks she said, and finally leave the decision to her.

The second reason is to avoid risks. Some girls have clear thinking and consider many problems. Economic conditions don't match him and he is not suitable for marriage. If you are in a different place, you can't meet often, and your feelings are easy to fade and won't last long. The education gap is too big, will it be impossible to communicate? If the girl doesn't take the initiative to find you out of this psychology, you have to establish effective communication with her, try to make things clear and see if you can solve the problem in a targeted way.

In fact, real problems are very real and can generally be analyzed rationally. But this girl's heart disease must be treated with heart medicine. If girls have been cheated by Neptune many times in the past and their feelings have not healed, they will be afraid of being played by boys again. If you can't give a girl enough sense of security, she will choose to restrain herself from taking the initiative and lengthen the inspection cycle. She will care about how many suitors you have and how close you are with friends of the opposite sex.

If you don't understand the subtext of a girl, she can only flinch. Therefore, for a girl with a strong sense of risk and insufficient trust in her feelings, the only way to make her take the initiative is to dispel her concerns and let her feel 100% at ease about this relationship. Besides solving her heart disease, you can give her more encouragement and confidence in your daily life. The same is the above question. When a girl asks about the opposite sex around you, you can tell her: "She is just beautiful, but you are not only beautiful, but you can also learn and have a better temperament!"

The third reason is defensive. This reason stems from the fact that people around me have been talking about girls since childhood: girls, don't fall in love for the sake of falling in love, it's better to be short of it; Girls, don't be too active, or men won't cherish it; Girls and families, don't hang from a tree, have snacks in their feelings. These concepts require girls to be reserved and not take the initiative. If they take the initiative, their prices will fall, and if they lose, they will be easily cheated.

It is also possible that girls themselves have poor psychological endurance and strong self-esteem. If you don't take the initiative, you won't be pinned down by the other side, and you will always be in a safe zone; The initiative will expose weaknesses, be hurt by the other party, and have to accept failure and rejection. For example, if you don't take the initiative to send a message to the other party, you won't wait for the other party to reply; If you don't take the initiative to ask each other out, you are not afraid of being rejected. The other party is active and passive, and does not need to bear too much pressure and anxiety.

If that's the case, you can slow down and upgrade your relationship appropriately, and be sure to accompany her slowly. Don't expose the sense of need prematurely, rely on time and give her a sense of security. It's best to lengthen your friendship stage, slowly integrate into her life, and let her put down her guard. But then you have to upgrade your relationship, or you will stay in the friendship zone forever.

Taking the initiative and not taking the initiative, written at the end, can not be a signal to judge whether the other person loves you or not, but only the embodiment of her emotional model. Behind all "not taking the initiative" are the injuries she has suffered, her worries and inferiority. Being together for a lifetime depends on adversity and * * *. Difficulties and setbacks need to be overcome together, and each other's hearts need to heal each other. If you really love her, please accept her fragility and complexity, inadequacy and selfishness. Although everything is in my eyes, I still love you in my heart.