What should I do if I want to recover after breaking up and the other party always doesn't reply to the news?

What if the other party doesn't reply when saving?

Many couples who are saved will encounter a problem, and the other party will not return the message and will not give you a chance to chat at all; This is because people who break up are sad and angry, and they haven't figured out how to communicate with you, and they don't want to communicate with you, so they will form cold violence against you.

The main factors that the other party doesn't reply to you:

1 Temporary negative emotions still exist.

2. The long-term contradiction makes me nervous.

3. ostrich mentality, want to escape from everything.

If you want the other party to reply to you, it will be very difficult to rebuild the communication channel with you without solving the above problems. We should solve them one by one.

First, clean up negative emotions.

1. First, clear his prejudice against you.

Negative emotions come hard and go quickly, unless you constantly stimulate him. Try not to look for him during this time, and leave him alone for a while.

2. Clear up his directional thinking.

Based on his prejudice against you, he will make a negative evaluation of your behavior: here are some things to do:

(1) Stop all interaction with him and suddenly disappear without warning. He'll wonder why you stopped looking for him. Did you give up? Do you have a new boyfriend?

(2) take the initiative to sincerely admit your mistakes, indicating that you have given up. He will feel your change. Why don't you haunt him like before? Have you really figured it out?

(3) release their latest developments, positive sunshine, enjoy daily life. He'll be surprised how you got out. Why don't you need him? Why did you suddenly ignore him?

Second, handle your core contradiction.

1. Self-combing contradictions.

This is actually a difficult point. After many girls break up, they simply don't know where the problem of intimacy lies. Either a blank face, or a misunderstanding.

To sort out your core contradiction, you can find the problem as quickly as possible in the following ways:

① Review the breakup event.

The last quarrel was when you broke up. Although the breakup is not necessarily caused by the last quarrel, your last quarrel must be very representative.

You should carefully review the following contents: were there any signs a few days before the quarrel? For example, there was an emotional expression three days ago, he complained, he was unhappy, or he ignored your information; What happened: the cause and effect must be reviewed in detail. When, where, who and what to do. You should think about the whole process of the incident like writing a primary school composition.

What did he do: What did he complain about when he quarreled? I hate you being so unreasonable! "Can you change your temper?" "Why are you so selfish? Can you think about me? " Wait a minute. His complaint at this time is what he lacks most in the relationship and is also the most eager appeal. What did you do: did you explain? Have you ever tried to comfort each other actively? Have you come up with a new solution?

② Find the core problem.

After looking back on the breakup, you should think about the following three questions: Have you ever had a similar quarrel before? If it is very frequent, then this is your typical contradiction. If there are more fierce quarrels, then start looking for the essence of these quarrels.

What is the appeal behind his complaint: "unreasonable trouble" means that the other party thinks you don't understand him; "Bad temper" means that the other party thinks you are not good enough; "Selfishness" means that the other person thinks you don't respect him enough and so on. You need to summarize the specific results in detail.

How far can you go? If the problem is not understanding, is there a more efficient way to communicate? If you have a bad temper, is there a more effective self-control method? If it is selfish, is there a better strategy to achieve a win-win effect?

2. pave the way for self-reflection.

The change of the core contradiction is long-term, and these habits and ideas are attached to your growth experience. It doesn't mean that great changes can take place in a few months. So take your time, these are not the key to recovery. What is more effective than the result is the process. You just need to show your desire to change and what you do.

(1) Breakup Diary.

Record every reflection, every new discovery, your feelings, and the changes you made after breaking up. Diary itself can maintain emotional stability and enhance self-awareness; Most importantly, this is a very invincible rescue prop; You said you corrected it. Is there any evidence? Once there is, it is this breakup diary; This diary can't be completed in one day, which shows that your change and reflection are not three minutes hot, so it's worth 1000 yuan. If you want to do something well, you must do it.

2. A letter of separation.

There are two ways to write this letter, depending on your personal situation: save the route: write down your breakup, and then write down the core contradictions reflected by your last quarrel and the changes you can make under these contradictions (this is the key point); Finally, add your wish: that is, you want to save it, you want to try again, and you want the other party to give you a chance.

Alleviate the route: the same as above, start from breaking up, then talk more about the core contradictions and reflect more (show your profound changes); Then gently take the changes you can make, and finally add your own relief: show that you have figured it out, don't force it back, and thank each other for their past experiences.

Depending on the situation, you can also start at the same time: the change of self-image (giving him a brand-new feeling), the display of personal life (giving him an independent and positive influence) and so on, all depending on the specific situation.

Third, reshape the positioning of communication.

Judging from the previous waiting and anti-thinking strategies, he has basically not rejected you, at least not as disgusted or afraid of you as he was at the beginning. At this time, we can start with daily life and irrelevant things. If it is still hacked, you can try to add it back at this time.

Daily topics you can talk about:

(1) one's own hobby, the other's hobby: "I saw that the price of your favorite shoes was reduced."

2 * * * Friend: "Do you know XXX? TA seems to have applied for research successfully, and I am a little envious. "

③ Previous experience: "Do you still remember how to get to Mount XX? My friend is going to play.

(4) Wait, you can talk to your friend, you can talk to him.

You have no problem in this relationship. If you can't establish normal contact (not getting back together, just normal communication), it must be his mentality. You must have this confidence.

So you can "boldly" try to establish contact:

1. weakness (weakness in redemption).

Daily topic+self-reflection+mitigation+invitation.

"I recently took off my order because it was too cold and started to add sweaters ... In fact, after breaking up, I thought a lot. My willfulness is true, I don't know how to express it, but in the end it's all on you. But I also think very clearly, in fact, I don't want to be with you. I think I have to get along well with myself before I can get along well with another person ... Are you free recently? I didn't try to speak out. I will buy coffee to make amends. Haha. "

2 show strength (show strength in redemption).

Daily topic+self-reflection+change+invitation.

"In which store did you buy me a cup before? I'll buy another one for my friend ... after breaking up, I found my mood so unstable. When we were together, we really put too much pressure on you. So I have been changing myself and reflecting on myself before I know how safe I am. This is my own problem, and I won't let you take the blame again. Haha ... Are you free recently? I also want to talk to you on a rational level. "

The point is, if you refuse, then you can have the strongest reason to refute him: that is, he still dares not face up to the relationship between you two; "In fact, to tell the truth, I have come out, and you are still evasive. Actually, it's not necessary, and I'm not forcing you, just hoping to get together and leave. " Don't get me wrong, I don't want to save you.

I just want to talk about things between us. We lived together for a while. Although not long, hahaha, but really, I attach great importance to every period of my life now, so I hope I can walk clearly, and there is no other meaning. ""You're getting a little bored. I just want to talk to you and take a good look at our relationship. If you don't dare to do this, it's a bit unreasonable as a boy. "

After seeing this, boys actually have no room to refuse; First of all, you have made it clear that you will not let him have negative emotions and will not attack him; Secondly, your goal is to talk about feelings, not redemption. The purpose is very simple. He is safe without obsession. Finally, this is your apology. As a boy, he has to accept your "Uncle Tao"; These three factors, prepared in this order, can be broken one by one.