Is extroversion or introversion better?

I know Populus euphratica reprinted it.

In my opinion, the only difference between a fragile introvert and a successful introvert is cognition and tools.

Introverts are easily influenced by sensitive emotions, affecting cognitive ability and mobility; In contrast, extroverts seem to act more efficiently and recklessly.

When we are sitting in the corner, watching those extroverted communicators who attract bees and butterflies, we can't help but feel jealous. When we are jealous, we ignore a basic fact: when we talk to others like them, do we really enjoy that state?

Extroverts think that social activities are a kind of enjoyment and relaxation; Introverts think that socializing is a necessary survival skill, but it is difficult to enjoy it.

When we chat with people, it's like dancing in a minefield and walking a tightrope. We are uneasy, we are cautious. While worrying that the topic of chat is about to run out, I am trying to figure out the potential meaning of others' words. -Maps are not territory. In the process of being swayed by considerations of gain and loss, we forget to ask ourselves subconsciously, are our fears really true?

Extroverts focus on action and results; Introverts, on the other hand, pay more attention to their own feelings and the recognition of others, and will consume more energy in the process of interaction.

When we need to ask the outside world for help, we will hesitate. We worry that we don't deserve others' help, and that we inadvertently bring trouble to others. We envy extroverts' recklessness in seeking help and indifference when they are rejected-the number of successes equals the number of actions multiplied by the success rate. For the strengths and weaknesses of introverts, which is more worth strengthening, action frequency or success rate?

Extroverts have a strong sense of action and pay more attention to the universality of communication; Introverts have a deep spirit of introspection and prefer the depth of communication. Introverts hate fair-weather friends and casual acquaintances.

As a shy child, I never knew how to communicate with others when I was a child, and I just wanted to be a quiet and beautiful man.

In primary school, on a neon midsummer night, I went to my best friend's house to play football. My friend is a brave and flexible fat man. He took the ball all the way from the backcourt to the opponent's door, and the small universe broke into many goals. I ran to him, expecting him to pass me a ball every time. Every time he either doesn't see me or tries to be brave. I didn't play football well and kicked off at half-time. I really witnessed the farthest distance between the ball and me-you were right in front of me, but I couldn't touch you. Later, I felt uncomfortable and even sat on the sidelines crying. My friend was frightened and came to comfort me. He asked me why I was crying.

I sniffled and said, you don't even pass the ball to me?

He smiled and said, that's it? Why don't you say something? You say something, I'll send it to you.

This is really a good question: why don't I say it? How will he know if I don't tell him?

In the past two years, a word has been popular in Northeast China: Left-I think this word is especially suitable for describing me as a teenager.

"We have such a good friendship, can't you understand if I don't tell you?"

"If you can understand everything when you speak, what's the difference between you and others?"

"You say it, there is no weight. Only if you are willing to take the trouble to guess can you prove that you care about me. "

-I really did it when I was a child.

Of course, I'm not saying that all introverts have a tendency to do things. What I want to point out here is that introverts' sensitivity will often aggravate their emotionalization, thus affecting their objective thinking, and they are caught in the contradiction between cognition and internal laws.

Here, I quote myself once again: sensitive and incompetent boys will mistake their insight into the world for their ability, thinking that everyone around them should appreciate themselves; Boys who are capable and insensitive will mistakenly lock a multidimensional life in an achievement dimension. Yang Zhiping

The first problem is a common mistake made by young artists, and the second problem is always ignored by elites.

Personally, our feelings are really unique; From a broader perspective, our feelings are an insurmountable defect in human evolution.

Introverts are richer inside than outside. A drop of rain and dew can contain light and see through the universe. A relationship can open the seventh sense of touch and suddenly be reborn. Pieces of intertwined words make people cry, and an unspeakable mind suddenly fills our chest. These multi-dimensional and multi-level experiences make us feel that we have not lived in vain. If death is the worst outcome, then the best process is not living, but the feeling of living.

When you wake up from the ups and downs of thoughts and re-examine this world composed of countless individual links, the truth is simpler and more cruel:

No one cares about our thoughts unless they can influence or change the world around us.

Tools:

Sharpen your inner sensitivity and gain insight into the world.

Shi Yuzhu's transformation from a slovenly IT worker to a subversive in the whole marketing field-even a generation of wizards who changed the marketing history of China-depends on his sensitivity in introverted personality. From melatonin to the journey, he actively observed his consumers, studied his consumers, explored market trends, and constantly changed his strategy. It is said that Mr. Shi seldom reads books on marketing, but attributes his success to his understanding of consumers and his exploration of human nature.

To what extent our inner map is equivalent to the real world, we need to establish references to prove it. The most basic method to verify the validity of the model is to compare the conclusion with the fact. When the feedback deviates from the expected results, it means that we need to modify our cognitive model.

Give a simple example:

"Because she hasn't texted for a long time, I don't think she likes me."

First, examine the authenticity of the map. No texting ≠ I don't like it, no texting = no texting. There are thousands of reasons why she doesn't send text messages. Busy at work, shy by nature, passive, traveling in other places, unhappy in life recently, and unwilling to communicate with others ... attention equals facts. I think she doesn't like you because you were worried that she didn't like you from the beginning, so her every move will point to your hypothetical "truth"-even if she is rushing to pay for you, even if she doesn't want to share food, even if she won't let you carry her bag.

Secondly, establish a reference verification conclusion. Look at her usual performance to her friends horizontally, look at her recent life dynamics vertically, ask about her previous emotional performance, have a basic understanding of her emotional ups and downs, and see if she thinks too much.

Finally, the results guide cognition. Results-oriented people act more efficiently. Now think of a question: If she doesn't like you, can she decide whether you like her or not?

Yes-the next question is simpler: how to make her like you? If texting is one of the measures, how can I get her to contact you?

No-since she likes you or doesn't like you, you will always like her, so things are simple. Choose a correct way, continue to chase, continue to like her, take care of her until one day she clearly says she doesn't need it, and then leave her as a correct way of love.

In my opinion, introverts should have acted more efficiently, because they are sensitive to human nature, and they often get more potential information than extroverts in the same period of time; Similarly, due to the interference of potential information and the lack of mental screening, they are disturbed by emotions, but their mobility is much weaker than that of extroverts.

This leads to the second quality that introverts can polish: potential perfectionism.

Turn the potential perfectionism tendency into a more balanced and prominent result.

Introverts are potential perfectionists. Therefore, we are not afraid of expression, we are just afraid that expression is not accurate enough and attractive enough; We are not refusing to take action, we are just worried that every action will not be the best, so we might as well not do it.

On the bright side, most of us have become artists, philosophers and scientists in this field. We have interpreted perfection and created the peak experience of mankind. Unfortunately, we have serious procrastination.

The answer to procrastination can be found everywhere in Zhihu. One of the most helpful suggestions for me is not to pursue perfection every time, but to do it as the worst time and see what the result is.

As a Chinese user who doesn't often write, every time I sit in front of the computer, I have a lot of thoughts, but I can't really organize my language. I feel constipated when I type. Not only do I feel bad, but the people next to me feel even worse. Especially on a platform like Zhihu, before I answer questions, I have countless pairs of dark eyes hidden in my heart. If the answer is not good, what should people do if they don't help? What if no one praises you after answering? The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get, and the more I can't calm down-fuck you, what should I do!

Regardless of the organizational structure and theme argument, you can type whatever you think on the computer, even if the preface doesn't match the latter, even if Chun Xue is mixed with Liba people, even if the steamed stuffed bun face matches the fairy sister, I just don't take the usual path!

Interestingly, while improving efficiency, the worst works have never appeared. Although I can't reach it, I am satisfied every time in the end, which also verifies a psychological theory that the worst we imagine often doesn't happen.

Don't expect to make others happy every time, and don't expect yourself to attack perfectly every time. In the early stage of practicing communication skills, it is important to forget perfection and express it at all times.

The ability to turn caring for others into caring.

Introverts are obviously the god of communication! Among the five communication levels, they can easily enter the fourth communication level:

1) general dialogue. Social, superficial.

2) state the facts.

3) Share personal thoughts and judgments.

4) share emotions.

5) The peak of communication.

Introverts are very good at reading micro-expressions and body language. When chatting, the other party casually tugs at his skirts, and his eyes unconsciously hang down or

The constant appearance of a specific word in the dialogue hides some deep meanings of the subconscious.

Extroverts tend to be more aggressive when they speak, so it is easy to ignore these tiny signals; If introverts can interpret this information, it will undoubtedly be easier to cut into the speaker's channel and produce a * * * sound with it.

During the interview two days ago, the last boss was an American, studying in Yale Asia. When we were chatting, I said that I had written Chinese novels and won prizes. Later, when talking about using Excel to do data analysis, he used a metaphor. He said that all these data are telling you a story.

Later, the more I thought about it, the more I liked this metaphor. Maybe this is an unconscious expression. Maybe he used this metaphor because he knew I had a background in writing novels. But there is no doubt that this metaphor makes me easier to * * *, and even sees some romantic qualities from the tedious data analysis work.

This is the charm of language and communication.

Practice, practice, practice again!

I am not a person who likes to talk. I am silent. I often lie on the floor at home and look up at the ceiling to kill time, but I am extremely happy.

But in order to practice English expression, I joined Toastmasters in the third year of high school. I worked as an actor and director in a drama club in my early years, and I like to listen to inspirational speeches by famous artists such as Tony Robbins. Although I had a childhood trauma of public speaking (which was later healed by myself), I was always the best speaker as soon as I took office, and I won the honor of "Best Speaker" seven times in eight competitions in my school (the only time I lost to the last chairman, and this guy now runs a training institution dedicated to teaching public speaking).

Once, I made up a story to tell the audience because I assisted in a theme argument. As a result, the following girl actually believed it and cried-it was quite embarrassing when I explained it to her afterwards.

I can only use the words in V for vendetta to defend myself: artists tell the truth with lies, and politicians cover up the truth with lies.

As a non-native English speaker, my pronunciation is not standard and my language is not accurate, but it doesn't matter-in the system of spreading influence, body language accounts for 55% of the effect, pronunciation and intonation account for 38% of the effect, while language only accounts for 8%.

I must recite the manuscript at least 20 times before each speech. I rehearsed every gesture, every pause and even a seemingly impromptu performance for no less than 20 times. Although this stifled a lot of interest in performance, it ensured that I could continue to speak inertia even when my mind was blank and my limbs were tense.

Every story, every way to push the climax, every emotional explosion point that can affect the sound of * * * *, I have to go through it repeatedly, practice visualization in my mind, and dare to finalize the design after I make sure the whole process is smooth. Personally, I think the three elements of a good story are atmosphere, climax and imagination.

The reason why I give this example is just to illustrate:

The ability of communication, speech and communication is something we can practice completely!

Why can we practice playing ball, drawing and guitar repeatedly, but we don't want to improve our communication skills? Some small communication habits will have a great influence as long as they are used repeatedly in daily life.

A friend who works in a Fortune 500 company completed a 360-degree review of the company two days ago. To her surprise, she found that the image in her mind was far from that in others' eyes. More than half of the commentators think she is a very cheerful person, but she doesn't think so. She has always considered herself a calm, silent and introverted person.

I always feel admired around her, wrote an anonymous commentator.

I asked her, why do others feel this way?

She thought for a moment and said, I don't feel like an inspiring communicator. But when chatting with others, if someone has any achievements or good news to share, I will subconsciously say "great!" " ""great! "This spell. Maybe this is why they think I am cheerful.

I believe this is a very good skill for anyone.

Introversion is never a weakness, but a gift.

It makes me touch the soft corner of everyone's heart, it makes me listen to the language of the night wind and flowing water, and it makes me see the colorful dream world rising in my dream; As time goes by, I also realize that in order to protect my sensitivity, I need to live in this real world in a more powerful way.