Joke information about pigs

A man kept a pig. He was annoyed with it and wanted to throw it away, but the pig knew the way home and threw it many times without success. One day, the man abandoned the pig and took a bus. He called his wife that night and asked, "Does the pig return?" His wife said, "Go home." The man was very angry and shouted, "put it on the phone quickly, I'm lost."

On your way to xishuangbanna tourism, you were besieged by a group of wild boars. The tourists took out food and money, and the wild boar was unmoved. You took out your only ID card, and the pigs knelt down and cried, brother, we found you!

A toad pursued a swan, and the swan disdainfully said, If I grew up like you, I would have died! Toad refused to accept, and said why the pig was still alive!

The pig feels very wronged. I was just reading the post. Who did I piss off?

A young lawyer appeared in court for his first case. His client's 24 pigs were run over by a train and killed. In order to emphasize the huge loss, he said excitedly, "gentlemen, think about it, 24 pigs!" " 24 heads! Twice as many as our jury.

One day, three boys went to a food stall to eat snacks, so they all decided to order "pig brain soup", but because there were too many people in the shop, the waitress shouted, "pig brain!" Pig brain! Three pig brains ... "The three boys replied in unison:" We, we ... here, here, here. ! "

The hunter met a wild boar in the mountains, and he fired a shot in a panic. The wild boar suddenly heard a gunshot and was startled. He thought he had been hit and fainted on the ground. A peddler happened to pass by here and bought the wild boar from the hunter. He looked at it carefully and said to the hunter, "Why is there no bullet hole in this wild boar?" Maybe he died himself, and the meat is definitely not fresh! ""no, not old! "Two people are arguing, and the wild boar wakes up, gets up, and runs away while they are not paying attention. The hunter pointed to the escaped wild boar and said, "Look, how fresh it is! " "

Zhang went to the blackboard and did a very simple question. He didn't do it for a long time, and the students below roared derisively. "Pig, pig," Zhang turned around and said angrily, "pig is still smart."

You are an adult, you should pay attention to your image, don't drink less as before. Last night, someone saw you chasing the pig with a glass in your hand and shouted, are you your brother? If you are a brother, do it!

A bird and a pig are on the plane. The bird said to the stewardess, "Give me a glass of water", and the pig also said, "Give me a glass of water". After a while, the bird said, "Give me something to eat", and the pig followed suit. The stewardess was very unhappy and threw them down. Then the bird said to the pig, "You are so stupid, I can fly."

You stand on the lotus leaf and dance lightly. Passers-by shouted, and "Pig Leaf" fainted.

Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold at night? I really want to stay by your side quietly. I know you can't take care of yourself. Every time I leave, you jump out of the pigsty.

Portrait of your life: at the age of ten, learn to bathe yourself-pigs wash themselves; Twenty years old is radiant-when the pig is young; Looking for a job at the age of 30-starting a pig-raising career; At the age of forty, I hired a servant-a pig's servant; Learn to play basketball at the age of fifty-throw pigs!

I haven't heard from you for a long time I wonder if you are all right now. I passed by your house the other day and went in to have a look. I saw you asleep, and I didn't have the heart to wake you up. Hey, only you have a litter of pigs!

Toad pursues swan, and swan disdainfully says: If I grow up to be like you, I will die long ago! Toad refused: that pig is still alive and well! Hearing this, the pig felt very wronged: I was just reading the short message. Who did I piss off?

You seem to have lost weight recently. Can you tell me what happened? You know, pork is eight yuan a catty on the market now. You lose a catty, I lose eight dollars.

I have always had a soft spot for you, and your face has always appeared in front of me! But I am too poor to expect, and now I have money! You can say loudly: boss, cut that pig head in half for me!

How can I bear to see you leave? How many warm and happy times we spent together, but today we are going to break up! Looking at your sad eyes, I shouted: wait a minute, I'm not selling this pig!

off the table

At the moment I turned to leave, you cried endlessly and tore your heart out behind me, making me suddenly understand how much I love you! I suddenly turned around and cried and hugged you and shouted, "I don't want to sell this pig."

Compared with pigs

If you must compare with a pig, I think you are at least two different from it: 1, and it is smarter than you. 2. You can eat more than it.

Pig raising technology

If I leave in autumn, I will wait for you in the snow; If the world goes, I will love you in heaven; If you leave, I will miss you with tears; If I leave, I will let her take care of you. PS: Her pig-raising skills are really good!

Don't be crazy with me.

Don't be crazy with me, my eldest brother Qin Shihuang, don't pretend with me. I have the background of the CPC Central Committee. I don't believe you don't give up. Bin Laden is my uncle. First fry, then poison. If you are not convinced, I will change your account into a pig.

Throw a pig

I haven't heard from you for a long time ... I've been thinking about you for two days, and my heart is in a mess ... I've searched all your favorite ponds, dining rooms and sleeping lawns, but I still haven't seen you. My heart is broken. Why did I lose such a big pig?

Looking for pigs

On your way to xishuangbanna tourism, Yunnan, you were besieged by a group of wild boars. The tourists took out food and money, and the wild boar was unmoved. You take out your only ID card, and the pigs kneel down in pain and say, "Boss, we can find you."

Sever (diplomatic) relations

Let's break off diplomatic relations! Please forgive my selfishness. I know it will break your heart. Everything we used to spend together will be engraved in my heart forever, but I really can't live with you anymore, because pigs are not allowed in the city.

Meditate on bamboo

Zen bamboo, Zen bamboo, Zen is not bamboo. Warm the flowers and paint the pool. Planting in the dark bamboo is a good way to lure people into the pool. Zen bamboo, Zen bamboo, Zen is not bamboo! Congratulations on learning Shandong dialect ... Happy April Fool's Day!

meteor

There will be a meteor tonight. It is said to be a big pig. A pig will fall from the sky. Too bad I want to sleep. You're gonna be okay. There are so many people watching you fly.

There are six kinds of pigs in the world.

There are six kinds of pigs in the world: domestic pigs are kept at home, wild boars wander outside, dead pigs bark in the market, stupid pigs are reading information, lazy pigs are angry, stingy pigs want revenge, and even pigs are worse than not returning information!

Pigs are strange.

I said, "You are a pig."

You said, "I am a pig."

From then on, I will call you "pig".

One day, you finally couldn't help shouting at me in front of everyone: "I'm not a pig."

The ideal of pigs

Pig's ideal: all fences in the world have fallen down, feed has fallen from the sky, butchers all over the world have jumped into the river, people all over the world believe in Islam, pigs go to school since childhood, people and pigs vote equally, people say that the ideal is beautiful, and pigs laugh while watching.

Pork prices are rising

That's because I neglected you before! So from now on, I will treat you well. When you are tired, I will massage your back. When you are bored, I will accompany you to relieve boredom. When you are sick, I will give you medicine and injections. You lose weight, I gain weight. Why? Who made the price of pork rise?

Braised pork with vermicelli

You are over 20, there are some things you should know! The sky is used for wind and rain; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I used it to prove how great human beings are; What about you? Used to stew vermicelli.

Draw a pig

Write your name on a piece of paper, with the letter M of the first word capitalized, E on the left, W on the bottom, W on the bottom of the last name, and Q on the right. Each letter is connected by an arc. Isn't it fun?

pig

Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; Not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar can; Not every pig can read text messages, but you did.

Longevity heart meridian

Recently, Dharma in Shaolin Temple discovered a long sutra, which can be read aloud once a day to prolong life. The content is as follows: lying like a bird's heart rock, lying like ice, lying like a hundred feet, lying like an old wood and bamboo! Be sure to read aloud!

Restrain prices

I saw you loitering in the supermarket the other day. You put your hand into the machine that can check the price, and the result shows: trotters, 8 yuan. You thought there was something wrong with the machine, so you stuck your head in it. I almost died laughing when I saw it. It says: pig head, 18 yuan.

Raise pigs or pigs

I want to say goodbye to you. I am sad to see innocent written on your face. Why did I choose deeply, but I had to give up in a hurry? I want to keep you by my side forever, but my mother said, "pigs are not allowed in the city."

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You are so beautiful!

change

I always wanted you. Your face, your lips and your ears are always in my eyes, but I am too poor to support you. Now that I have money, I can say loudly, "Boss, cut that pig in half for me!" " "

Before, I was just an ordinary knight-errant until I met you, the most mysterious person in the Jianghu, and called out your name. Since then, I have become a "pig man" admired by everyone in the Jianghu.

The tortoise and the rabbit race, and the pig is the referee. Do you think the tortoise runs fast or the rabbit runs fast?