Urgent for the essay "News Network" or the complete lines of news network, thank you! ! !

The script lines of news tone are the most talented script lines of college students' sketches.

Our Sanshui Middle School is going to hold a New Year's Day party, and our class has been rehearsing since 65438 10. So we wrote these lines, I believe there are many people who are useful (the advertising part will be added soon, and the names of the characters will be changed, so just change it yourself. )

(The music of the news broadcast covers the face with "TV") Male host: Hello, audience and friends!

Hostess: Today is (the day of the lunar calendar).

Moderator: Welcome to the news broadcast.

Moderator: The main content of this news is that the financial crisis has spread to every corner of the universe. According to gossip, every planet in the solar system has faced a serious financial crisis.

Male host: Yesterday, after our reporter reported the financial crisis, another great event happened in China. Hu Laohan's pig was lost in Tieling, Northeast China. A European and American pure gold diamond watch landed in Asia. )

Hostess: Breaking news. The news just came from our station. A senior honest reporter said that Xiao Shenyang was surprised to see Sanshui Middle School.

Male host: Please see the detailed report below.

(placard, steering outside rearview mirror)

Moderator: Hello, audience friends. I'm Qian, a reporter from News Network. Obviously, the financial crisis has spread to every corner of the world. Students are the number one victims. They must be thrifty while working hard and providing learning. They had to be thrifty and accept another plunder. It can be said that it is difficult for parents to talk about friends, and once the wallet is loose, they don't eat or drink. We interviewed a classmate at random to find out the details.

(The supporting actor comes in, strokes his hair, and then leaves) Hostess: Hello, I'm the news network. ...

(The hostess smiled shyly) The hostess: This must be a classmate from Sanshui Middle School, because only students from No.3 Middle School can walk so seriously. Let's interview another student.

Hostess: Hello, classmates. I am a reporter for news broadcast. Can you give me a short interview? (Microphone pointing to peanuts)

(Peanut gasps for joy and turns to spit and wipe her hair) Peanut: … OK.

Moderator: What impact has the financial crisis had on your life?

Peanut: The financial crisis has affected every aspect of my life. First of all, my living expenses are not enough by the end of the month, and then I borrow from the east and the west. Pay back the money at the beginning of the month, borrow it at the end of the month, pay it back at the beginning of the month and pay it back at the end of the month.

(Hostess takes back the microphone) Hostess: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Peanut: Other aspects. Oh, I used to wash my hair with a $25 overlord lock.

Moderator: What about now?

Peanut: 3.50 yuan.

Hostess: 3.50 pounds?

Peanut: Li Bai.

Mistress: Washing powder? Is there a bigger aspect?

Peanut: A bigger one? (Thinking about it, grabbing the microphone) (The reporter wants to grab it back and stay with him) The financial crisis has spread to every corner of the world. Many middle school students drop out of school and choose to work to help make up for their families, but going out to work is not a good idea. (The hostess reaches for it and is pushed to the ground by peanuts. Because of their work, they only temporarily avoided the risks of their careers. (The reporter held down the peanut's foot, and the peanut stepped on it and fell. ) but without experience after coming out, life will only become more difficult.

Peanut: Of course ... (A worker ran in and grabbed it, and the reporter got up and grabbed it back)

Reporter: Sorry, there was a small situation at the scene. Please switch the camera to the live room.

The man and the woman are flirting, the man touches the hair in front of the woman's forehead, and the woman smiles affectionately! Two people stared at the audience and smiled shyly!

Male host (looking at the female host): It seems that the financial crisis has really had a great impact.

Mistress (shyly willing to lower her head): Yes.

Look at each other.

Man (reading the manuscript): What's next (gently bumping into the woman)? You play it.

Lady (knocking over the man, good father Gump) Oh, you play it.

Repeat

Male (bump into female) I'll broadcast, I'll broadcast.

Then, after the financial crisis, another great event happened in China: the pig of Hu Laohan's family in Tieling, Northeast China disappeared mysteriously. (Holding up an index finger) Mysterious, everyone must pay attention (turning to look at the hostess).

W: And then what?

M: After this incident was exposed, Tieling TV, MVP, WC, MP3 and other major media rushed to report it.

(The woman puts one hand near her eyes, and the other hand grabs the man's shirt and pretends to cry) You ignore me.

Man (man patting woman with one hand): Oh, good boy ~ ~ Please see the reporter's report below.

Hang up the "external mirror" card

Female reporter: Hello, I'm Qian, a frontline reporter. Why is the pig mysteriously missing? Why is the old pig in such a hurry? Is it the pig's character or the poor management of the old pig? Let's welcome the old pig (face the background and make the gesture of inviting people). Please welcome the old pig (making the gesture of inviting people).

Old pig stepped down: Have you seen my pig?

Reporter: Hey, here!

Old pig: Have you seen my pig?

Reporter: Hey, here!

The old pig rushed to the stage and looked at the reporter: Alas, you are not my pig either.

The reporter went over and sat down: what? This is ... Well, I'm glad you came to our program today. When did you find your pig missing? When and what measures did you take?

Old pig (throws a bag under it and gets up): Alas, just the other day, he went out for a walk alone, and pia pia didn't tell me, and didn't come back until dinner. You said that it is so windy outside now that a sow is running around outside. What should I do if I meet bad people here? I'm-I'm in a hurry. I'm in a hurry. I'm in a hurry. I called my mother, but no one answered. As a result, I went to ask her parents that they were eating. I said, where is your girl? It said (pretending to be a pig) and I said, Oh!

Reporter: What did they say?

Old pig: They say it has lost weight.

Reporter: Have you lost weight?

Old pig: OK, I'll look for it! Where it used to run, where it used to exercise. Oh, and where it goes online, I've looked everywhere. I just can't, I'm in a hurry! You said you lived together for so many years, and suddenly it was gone. The hostess patted him on the shoulder to show comfort. ) This is empty! I'm angry! (I put my hand over my heart, suddenly remembering, and piled up a bag) Yes, I made a pig hunting apocalypse (than a reporter). Please read it to everyone and see if there are any similar ones below.

Reporter: Looking for inspiration from pigs? A famous pig, female, a national animal, is 80 cm tall and weighs 90 kg, with type A blood. Because she just wants to lose weight blindly, she doesn't know where to go. I hope interested parties can contact me at 800-820-8820. Oh, it was 800-820-8820 (singing). (Ok, turn over a stool) Did anyone contact you after you posted this pig-hunting notice?

Old pig: Hey, don't tell me that someone contacted me that afternoon.

Reporter: Who is it?

Pig Old Man: Hospital

Reporter: Hospital ((as if nothing had happened)) (suddenly pops up) Hospital! ?

Old pig (scared to the ground): Right.

Reporter: It coughs.

Old pig: Yes (moving back as he talks)

Reporter: A fever.

Old pig: Yes.

Reporter: I have convulsions all over.

Old pig: Yes.

Reporter: Limb weakness

Old pig: Yes.

Reporter: Really? . . .

Old pig: no, no, no, no. Oh, you can't count on them. I'm telling you, just losing weight blindly leads to the development of some parts, fatty liver, gallstones, metabolic disorders and endocrine disorders! Oh, nothing.

Reporter: Oh, you scared me to death! Hey, our program is coming to an end! Do you have anything else to say to the audience?

Old pig (surprised): End? So soon?

Reporter: Huh?

Old pig: Me! I want to tell those who have lost weight or are ready to lose weight that this is an example of weight loss failure! Why? Because its method is improper! (Walking over and bumping into a reporter) Do you want a model figure?

Reporter: I think

Old pig man: Do you want thin thighs?

Reporter: I think

Old pig: Do you want to lose excess fat?

Reporter: I think

Old pig: Oh, we have a product, telegraph pole brand slimming tea.

Two stitches are tightly sewn (ok? Absolutely! )

Female anchor: Ahem, pay attention to the influence!

Male anchor: Pay attention to quality!

Woman reporter: Please return the camera to the studio.

(The two men each said the curative effect price of their own secret needles and so on. "Hey, how many courses are you effective?" ..... ""I tell you, this is absolutely cheap! ..... ") Two people left Taiwan Province.

News broadcast script lines, the second most talented script lines of college students' sketches.

2009- 10-04 1 1:50

The male and female anchors talk, but that nonsense is too useless. )

(Money goes in first, I go in with a glass of water) Note that the action runs through the whole play.

Money: Hello, everyone. Today, we are fortunate to have Mr. Gu, President of WC Watch Group.

Me: (waving and nodding) Hello everyone!

Thank you. First of all, human life is calculated by time. What time is it now? What is this? What is this? (Look! ! ! ) Yes, it is a watch! And now everyone is worried about whether there is a good watch, but now I can tell you a good news responsibly. Our company's recently launched pure gold diamond watch has landed strongly in Asia!

Money: Landing in Asia, audience friends, this means that this watch will come to your side soon!

Me: No problem, I'll find you right away. (Mysteriously) It is made of the latest fashion, made of pure gold, inlaid with exquisite diamonds, waterproof and shockproof, and cheap.

Money: Wow, the advantages are so outstanding, so is it pure gold?

Me: Absolutely pure gold! Come, let's weigh it together!

Money: Oh, my God! Take a look (gesturing) 250 grams!

Me: Is there? Really? Absolutely pure gold Do you see the sparkling stones?

Money: sparkling and dazzling. Is it really a diamond?

Me: No problem. Diamonds. (holding it in front of money) Look at it a few more times and you will be dazzled!

Money: God, it's so flashy. Audience friends must want to know how much it costs.

Me: (gesturing) The market price of this watch in Europe is 48880.

Money: dear, this is too expensive!

Me: Don't worry! It is the first time to land in Asia. (gesturing) It uses the factory direct selling price, 28880!

Money: unprecedented price. Audience friends, call to order quickly!

Me: Don't worry, don't worry! Because it is the first time to land in Asia, (pay attention to gestures) now there is a new selling price, throwing plates and crying, 998!

Money: No, no, absolutely impossible. It's incredible!

Me: absolutely possible, absolutely true! And it's not 9998, not 998 yuan, but 9.98 cents!

Qian Qian B held her hand and passed out. )

Me: In addition, if you call the phone at the bottom of the screen now, it is possible to get a pure white gold necklace worth 5000 yuan randomly given by our company. Come and snap it up! (Spitting blood) (At the same time, three extras came in to pull us away and take the props)

Me: I'm telling you, there are two more models. Come and buy it!

(The male anchor is asleep and the female anchor is pulling up while chatting) Female anchor: Hey, what are you doing? Get up and broadcast the news

Male anchor: What about after the commercial? Let's watch an explosive news.

Female anchor: According to our senior frank reporter, Xiao Shenyang was surprised to see Sanshui Middle School yesterday.

Male anchor: But strangely enough, it didn't cause a stir among the students. Is the influence of small Shenyang declining? Or did the students not accept his performance style?

Female anchor: What happened to Xiao Shenyang and his party? Take a look at the detailed report with these questions.

(placard)

(Music starts. ) Peanut: Ladies and gentlemen, Little Shenyang is here. How are you guys? Thank you. Thank you, thank you netizens. Pass the word to Peanut, and Peanut accepts it gladly) When I go on stage. ...

Peanut: Thank you!

(The sender runs back to get the microphone) Here comes the flower: Shen, I love you! Shy, leaving with his face covered.

Peanut: (in heat) Walk slowly, ah, it's really beautiful. (Those who beg for money at the same time enter)

Beggar: Give me your signature.

Peanut: (Oh) OK.

The beggar turns around and Peanut signs his name on his back. )

Peanut: Thank you, thank you netizens. Why don't you go?

Beggar: Didn't you say give money?

Peanut: For what? (whispering) Go down and give it to you.

Beggar: Isn't it given to every game?

(Peanut reluctantly gives him the money) Peanut: Thanks to netizens, why don't I go since I'm on stage?

Beggar: You only give fifty cents for a piece (the third sound of the word "Mao").

Peanut: Don't be shameless, ask for money (Peanut tries to push him away with his hand).

Beggar (pointing): Flowers! Flowers! Flowers!

Peanut reluctantly pushed him away with lace and the beggar trotted away.

Peanut: (screaming) shameless, pervert!

Thanks to netizens, I gave your warm applause to all our actors when I came on stage. This is back to my time. I will rest from now on, netizens, no one will applaud, no, no, no, no! No one applauded. Don't break the window.

Thanks to netizens. Anyway, I'm on the stage, look at me, look at my cat, look at me, I look a bit like it, I'm telling you, I'm not!

From now on, there will be less gossip. I will run for you. Let me sing you a song. Dao Lang, a mysterious figure in 2004, is the music ready for the theme song "Escort to Lovers' Home in the Flower Season" of the American TV series "Water Margin"? Music! (Lift up your skirt and jump around and stop in the center of the stage)

Lyrics: (original "You are my lover Dao Lang")

(Like Dao Lang's voice)

You are my lover.

A woman like a rose

With your burning lips

Let me disappear endlessly in the middle of the night.

(Like the silly voice of Little Shenyang)

You are my lover.

Put down a woman like a rose

With your thick lips

Pause, pause, pause.

(Running to the edge of the stage and crouching down) Your singing is OK. Let's have another one.

(running back to the center of the stage) OK.

Generally speaking, I never ask others what I can do-no one tells me to do it myself (hehe).

Look, this bag is rare, Q7, a famous brand.

I can't lift Q7. I can't carry my bag. Please, stop it. Over the years, I have been imitating other people's songs. Why don't I sing my own song? A song written by my good friend Gao Jing is called "My name is Xiao Shenyang". Is the music ready? Music!

(Dance a few times during rock music)

Lyrics:

The wind blows rice and flowers.

The river flows.

Growing up on black soil

Our hardworking parents

Ordinary appearance

But our voices are bright.

Imitate folk songs in northern Shaanxi

And the mysterious Dao Lang.

My name is Xiao Shenyang.

The stage name is also called Xiao Shenyang.

Shen is Shen.

Yang is Yang from Shenyang.

My name is Xiao Shenyang.

Small eyes have light.

Why?

You are satisfied with my ideal.

The flowers in Shandandan are blooming.

Red is colorful.

If the sea can

Take away my sadness

Let it drift away with the wind.

Stop the music. Are you coming? It's gone (Pick up the skirt and jump away)

Male anchor: that's the end of the news Welcome to send SMS for news dialing.

Female anchor: If you think this news is all nonsense, please edit SMS A and send it to 6089 1 10 Mobile Unicom and PHS users.

Male anchor: If you like our program and are very willing to join it, please edit B. Mobile Unicom and PHS users can contact us directly at 6089 120.

(Nurse enters) Nurse: You scream! Don't forget to take your medicine after listening.