My husband called me on his cell phone late at night. I pretended to be asleep and eavesdropped. He hid in the toilet and called his wife on the phone.

I don’t know since when, the relationship between my husband and I became more and more tense, and it became a trivial matter, and we had to quarrel with each other. After five years of marriage, I have regarded him as my true love and relative. His cold attitude chilled me to the core.

My husband and I have known each other since childhood. His family is better than mine, and my parents-in-law are good friends of my parents. My husband and I have been playing together since we were kids. He is a year older than me and stronger than me. When he goes to school, whoever bullies me is the first to get in the way. Our friendship blossomed into love, and both seniors were delighted that we were able to tie the knot. After graduating from college, they held our wedding. After we got married, we moved into a new house bought by our parents and started our happy life as a young couple.

After getting married, my husband and I gave birth to a baby girl. My daughter is very cute and I like her very much. It’s really ‘fear of falling if you hold it in your hand, and fear of melting if you hold it in your mouth’. After the baby was born, the two old people were willing to help us take care of it, but I didn't want the baby to leave his parents. I refused the kindness of the two old people and occasionally took my children to visit them. Because I take care of the baby full time and can't go to work to earn money, the pressure to support the family falls on my husband alone.

Although his family conditions are good, he is the backbone of the marriage and has a strong self-esteem. No matter what difficulties he has, he will never ask his parents for a penny. He is the kind of person who reports good things but not bad things. While raising the children at home, my husband thought of starting a business again. Originally I thought he was brainstorming. His analysis made me very excited: "If you can't take your child to work, let's do some business, so that when you are not busy, you can help me take the baby shopping and be your own boss without having to look at other people's faces."

I think it makes sense, compromise. When we got married, my mother gave me the bride price from their family and let me distribute it freely, which happened to help him. He chose to open a restaurant. In the first two years, we made money. The next year, as several restaurants popped up nearby, we took away a lot of business. Their decoration is novel and the price is lower than ours, attracting many people to dine. If our old customers don't come to join us, we will lose money every day. I felt like the momentum was wrong. I would talk to my husband about not doing it. I close it when I see it and look for new business opportunities.

He didn’t listen to me, thinking that I was a woman. He kept burning money in his heart, but he didn’t see anything in return from me, and he finally went bankrupt. I complained about him and argued with him. He was very worried. After drinking all day, he was drunk when he came home. Business was not doing well, and our relationship was torn apart. Gradually, he neglected me and disliked me, let alone the intimate sexual intercourse between husband and wife. He came home for three hours in the middle of the night and never told me, treating me as a transparent person.

That day, he didn’t come back at midnight, and no one answered his phone calls. It was already three o'clock when he came back. As soon as I entered the room, I smelled of alcohol. My anger grew, and his footsteps got closer and closer to the bedroom. His cell phone rang so he quickly hung up. He looked at my face, I pretended to sleep and didn't dare to move. After a while, his voice sounded in the bathroom.

The night was very quiet, and when I got a little closer, I could clearly hear his subtle voice. He shouted into the phone: "Honey, I'm back.". Let’s make an appointment another day. "Go to bed early". I'm not here. What did he call his wife? When he came out of the toilet, he was really shocked and asked me why I was here. I will show my hand directly. Who is the ‘wife’ on the phone? Without any explanation, he closed the bathroom door and took a shower as if nothing had happened. I was so angry that I cried outside.

Now, his business has declined and his income has been cut off, but he is still supporting women outside. How embarrassing it would be if I told both parents about this. Now, every time I ask him if he cheated, he plays dumb. How did he become like this? Not the husband I knew at all. What do I want him to do with this marriage in name only?

Reply:

You have known each other since childhood and have a certain emotional foundation. He was upset because of differences in running a business after marriage. Every fight will tear you apart. The more you squeeze, the cheaper your marriage becomes. Those vows made before marriage were all forgotten once we had a quarrel.

He couldn't find a sense of security at home, so he went back outside to seek comfort. If things go on like this, if you can't withstand the temptation, you will betray your family. Now you heard that he was having an affair with someone else, but you haven't determined whether it is true or not. So, if you want to get to the bottom of things, set your boundaries, and negotiate with him if he knows his mistake.

If you still act like it doesn't matter, nothing will be solved right away between you and him. Be strong and stand up for your rights.