My beloved wife suddenly ran away from home.

Moderator: Ping Shu

Talker: Fang Jun (a pseudonym), a 38-year-old agent

The girl I met on a business trip became my wife who I love and hate

I used to be a soldier, and I became a businessman after I retired. It is hard to imagine that such a dramatic thing would happen to me. I met my wife Weiwei when I was on a business trip to Qingdao in the summer of 2. At that time, I just got out of Qingdao Railway Station and was crowded with tourists. Suddenly, a little girl came over and asked me to take pictures for her. I "clicked" and took two pictures. She took it over and said to me, "Oh, you made me too fat!" I was happy when I heard it, and I couldn't help laughing and saying, "Beauty, I'll take another photo for you!" " Later, I took many shots of Weiwei with my imported camera, and left her mobile phone number, promising to send her the photos later.

Unexpectedly, the next night, Wei Wei called me. She invited me to the seaside and cried bitterly, saying that she had no parents, no brothers and sisters and was working alone in Qingdao. She said, "Brother, I can see at a glance that you are a good man. Please take me to Jinan, and I will do anything with you." I felt sorry for Vivian at that time, and I wanted to leave her alone. I couldn't say it on my conscience. She looked quite simple and didn't look like a calculating girl, but it was a bit unclear to take her with me. Maybe this is fate. In the end, I brought Vivian home. As soon as I got home, it set off a huge family storm. Before that, my family had introduced me to a girlfriend. Although I repeatedly explained that it had nothing to do with Vivian, it was still a heated discussion. In the end, I had to part ways with my girlfriend.

In this way, Vivian almost came into my life. At first, I really felt sorry for her and felt that her life experience was too pitiful, but gradually I was deeply attracted by Wei Wei. She was like a porcelain doll, cute and fragile. In less than half a year, we successfully got the marriage certificate. After getting married, I soon discovered that Vivian had a bad habit, that is, she loved to talk in her sleep. In the dream, she always shouted "Mom and Dad! Elder sister! " I was quite worried about her, and later I realized that what Wei Wei and I said before was all lies. Her parents are both at home, and there are brothers and sisters! At that time, I was so angry that I felt that a big man was being played around by a young girl. It was a great shame.

What's done is done. We have not only established a family, but also children. I had to ask Weiwei to take me to see her parents. Wei Wei's family is in the countryside. My parents are dutiful farmers, and there are several brothers and sisters. They are quite satisfied with me, but I am full of contradictions about my marriage. On the one hand, I love Vivian, which makes me inseparable; On the one hand, I hate Vivian. I think her age is terrible. How can I set such a scam for marriage?

My sincere dedication made her feel that I was a person worthy of being entrusted for life

So, for a long time, our relationship was neither bad nor bad, so we just lived a normal life. I also quarreled and fought in the middle. Every time, Wei Wei started. On one occasion, Wei Wei lost her temper and swollen my face. I usually let her. But after knowing that she lied to me, she did it again, and I hit back. After all, she is a woman, and she will definitely suffer if she does it. Sometimes, I feel sorry for her after hitting her, and I am very worried about her just like my own child.

Five years ago in winter, Wei Wei's hometown called and said that her mother had breast cancer and needed a large sum of money for surgery. Without saying anything, I paid tens of thousands of dollars to help her mother finish the operation. At that time, Wei Wei's brothers and sisters couldn't get any money, so my money saved Wei Wei's mother's life. It was probably that time that Wei Wei realized that I was the person she was worth entrusting for life. After that, we never touched again, and even quarreled rarely. The next year, I went to Harbin to invest in a project, and lost more than 2, yuan. When I got home, Wei Wei didn't say a word of complaint, but sincerely welcomed me home. I felt that this woman was also worthy of my love all my life.

After that, we really loved each other, and all our friends around us did not envy us. Unfortunately, the good times didn't last long. Vivian's health has been poor. These three years are even worse. Her kidneys and digestive system are not good. She has no appetite all day, and her husband and wife life is completely gone. This put a lot of pressure on Wei Wei. More than once, she asked me, "Will you not want me?" I told her firmly: "no, I will never leave you in my life!" " Every day, I drag Weiwei to play ball games, and on weekends, I insist on taking her swimming. I believe that sports will make her strong. But after three years, Weiwei's body is still very weak, and we still can't live like a normal couple.

I can bear all this. However, this summer, Wei Wei unexpectedly went behind my back to see a netizen, which made my heart particularly unhappy. That night, I drank more than ten bottles of beer by myself, and then I made an unstoppable nonsense. I said, "Daughter-in-law, men are also very fragile! In the past three years, I have lived a life of shame, unlike people. I never associate with any woman for fear of hurting you. I told you to exercise, let you have a good meal, and hold you in my hand, but you ran to meet the netizens. You are so hurtful! Either you leave today or I leave! "

The next morning, I woke up and apologized to Weiwei. I said, "Daughter-in-law, I love you so much!" Wei Wei also forgave me, saying that she would never meet netizens again. I thought it was over. After a week, Wei Wei told me that she wanted to go back to her hometown to see her parents. Her mother had been ill and needed someone to take care of her. Although I couldn't bear to leave her, I still thought about her, sent her back to her parents-in-law's house, and left a sum of money for her parents-in-law. It should be said that I showed extremely forbearance to the Weiwei family. After Weiwei left, I called her every day, but Weiwei sent me a message saying that she was under great pressure and asked me not to call her. Then, I didn't call her for five days in a row. At the weekend, I called my father-in-law's house. My father-in-law said that Weiwei had already returned to Jinan, and I was deceived at that time. My first thought was to worry that something had happened to Weiwei!

what should I do when there is no news from her?

In those days, I called Vivian day and night, but she didn't answer the phone at all. I had to send her short messages over and over again. From our acquaintance to our love, I told Vivian bit by bit that I loved her so much and told her to go home quickly. Home is always the warmest place. Wei Wei did reply to a short message, saying, "Twelve years of marriage have brought each other pain and pressure. Although there are still feelings, they still can't overcome the obstacles in their hearts." Then he said, "I've lived a very tense and depressed life these years, and I always think of the days when I used to fight." He also said, "I went to see netizens, and the shadow I caused you has always made you feel wronged, so don't live together." I was so angry that I texted her and told her, "OK, let's break up! Leave! Whatever you want! I have had enough of this abnormal husband and wife life! "

However, when I calm down and think about it, I can't help begging her: "Stop it, for the sake of the children, go home quickly!" Wei Wei is also very concerned about home. She asked me not to tell the children and the old people on both sides. She wants to work outside for a period of time alone, and then come back if she figures it out. At first, I wanted to keep it as quiet as possible. After all, it's not a glorious thing for my daughter-in-law to run away from home, especially when the children are 12 years old. How big a blow should it be to the children? So, I told my children that grandma was in poor health and that mom had to take care of her. But I still told my parents-in-law, and I have to explain to the old man, but they have no news of Vivian at all. More than two months passed quickly, but Vivian still didn't go home, and she didn't tell me where she was doing.

think about it, which man can accept this kind of thing? Over the years, I have been worried about everything at home. Vivian hasn't even cooked a meal. Friends say that such a woman has fallen into a honey pot, and she will naturally come back after eating and suffering outside. But what if she really has something to do outside? In the past two months, I am in pain. If Wei Wei has another man outside, or if she is an irresponsible woman, I won't be so painful, but I fully understand Wei Wei's character. She is simply putting pressure on herself. Why bother her?

now, what should I do? So wait? How long is the wait? What does Vivian think? What kind of emotion is she now? Who can tell me? Who can help me?

marriage is forbidden to "carry a load with one's hair"

Wen/Song Jiayu

After reading the whole story, my basic evaluation is that the wife doesn't love her husband, and the husband may not admit it, or even think that their love is basically equal. In fact, most of what he feels from her is not love. At least two points can support my conclusion: First, the wife who loves her husband has almost no motivation and need to chat with the opposite sex online, and it is even more impossible to meet netizens privately; Second, the wife lied about going home to see her parents, but actually ran away from home. Her explanation for this is: "Marriage brings pain and pressure to each other. Although there are still feelings, it can't be overcome." Looking at Fang Jun's whole talk, there is no clue that he did something wrong, no information to reveal what pressure he gave his wife, and no phenomenon to explain where his wife's pain came from, but her wife must run away from home, so my conclusion is: there is no love in marriage (female to male).

I met the opposite sex by chance the next day. "Brother, I can see at a glance that you are a good man. Please take me to Jinan. I will do anything with you." This reflects not love, but utility; Lying that she has no father, mother or brother and sister, but soon knowing that this is actually a scam, once a woman faces true love, what she fears most is to face and use lies, unless she has deceptive personality disorder or bad intentions; Later, she was married to Fang Jun like "turned out to be born", but there was no sign that they became attached to each other because of love. Both parties paid money to save Weiwei's mother, and the "war" between them came to an abrupt end. This information can only show that the wife is grateful to her husband, not necessarily love; Almost asexual marriage is not to mention love; But judging from the husband's attitude towards his wife, there is love between the lines!

If a husband doesn't love his wife, such a marriage can be maintained, because men's feelings are often not completely put in the marriage, and there are many places for men to "put in" their feelings. Friends and friends can "store" and comfort men's feelings, not to mention those who "steal chickens and dogs" and "chop and change" their lives. If a wife doesn't love her husband, such a marriage is difficult to maintain. First of all, women feel extremely sad, because women's feelings can only be placed in marriage, and it is difficult to build it outside marriage as easily and irresponsibly as men. If a relationship is really established outside marriage, women can't accept two men inside and outside marriage at the same time. At this time, women would rather choose to give up marriage. This is different from that of men. Even if men establish several feelings outside marriage, they will not give up marriage easily. Men like to separate marriage from emotion.

Wei Wei's performance fully shows that she doesn't love Fang Jun. To put it bluntly, the "insurmountable hurdle" means that she wants to change from love to love for her husband. Unfortunately, even self-pressure can't achieve the effect, and she is hopeless. Women are often passive in the emotional relationship of marriage. Most women's feelings for men can be changed from love to love, provided that men are good enough or men's love for women is full enough. There is another kind of woman who is very different. No matter how good a man she doesn't like is, it can't change her basic rejection reaction to this man. The reason is that this woman pays too much attention to her feelings and only loves the person she likes. For the man who likes her but she doesn't like, she doesn't know whether she can get along in marriage. It is often after she is married that she finds out how she can't "love", but it is too late. Wei Wei belongs to this category.

I want to tell Fang Jun that no matter how good you are to Wei Wei, although you think you know Wei Wei's character well, you may not know Wei Wei's heart. It is very painful for her to marry you. Although she didn't say it directly (and couldn't say it), her behavior language has fully proved this point. "Shaving one's head and carrying a load" is a taboo in marriage, "women are hot and men are cold" is generally a tragedy, and "men are hot and women are cold" is a comedy at first, but it is often a farce in the end. "Men are hot and women are hot" is the best marriage match, which is the law.