Send funny messages to girls you like. Ask for something good. Don't send too long messages if it's funny enough.

Have you started working again? I have told you more than once not to work so hard and pay attention to your health. But you always say meaningfully, "If you don't roll more dung balls while the weather is warm, what will I eat in winter?" ! ! "

2。

There are some things you should know! Days are used for windy and rainy days; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I was used to prove the greatness of mankind. And you: "It is used to stew vermicelli. ! "

3。

Don't get drunk again. Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a glass and shouted, "Are you a brother?" Brother did it! ! "

4。

I am a lonely tree, standing on the roadside for thousands of years, waiting alone, just because one day you pass me, I will fall for you, and it is in vain not to smash you.

5。

If I leave in autumn, I will wait for you in the snow; If the world goes, I will love you in heaven; If I leave, I will let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are not bad!

6。

I know you pay attention to hygiene. Wash your hands carefully every time you go to the toilet. Suddenly you stopped washing your hands. I'm surprised: why don't you wash your hands? You replied: "I brought paper this time! ! "

7。

Miss you, is a very happy thing; Nice to meet you. Loving you is what I will always do; Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing; However, lying to you just happened.

8。

Every day, I pray to the Buddha for a long-lasting blooming rose. When it reaches 999, I will give it to you together and say emotionally, "Little son, I don't believe that the attracted bees won't sting you!" " ! "

9。

It is reported that a few days ago, Iraqi armed forces hung your jade photo on the wall of Baghdad, causing a large number of American soldiers to vomit and die. After investigation and evidence collection by the United Nations, it is confirmed that this is a weapon of mass destruction, so run quickly.

10。

Couples in western countries always divorce because their lover is a baby. Look at the old man under the moon in China. They are experienced, so China's marriage lasts longer. When carrot saw the customer, he respectfully handed in his business card. The customer looked at the business card and asked, why is it called Korean ginseng? Carrots have a thin waist. "People haha!"

1 1。

Today, when you wake up, there is a mosquito lying beside your pillow, and there is a suicide note beside you: I struggled all night, and your thick skin made me live in this world! Lord, forgive him! I killed myself.

12。

Someone saw you today, and you are still so charming, walking slowly in a plaid vest, looking detached and comfortable. It is really cute. I wonder how you beat rabbits in those years.

13。

One year, a man wrote more than 800 love letters to his girlfriend, and her girlfriend finally announced that she was getting married. The groom is the postman who delivered these letters to her.

14。

The barber chatted while shaving the guests, and talked so hard that he didn't pay attention to shaving the guests' eyebrows. The barber asked: Do you want to keep your eyebrows? Guest: Stay! Barber: Alas! Why didn't you say so earlier? Shaved off!

15。

Husband: Honey, I'm fired. Because of a little thing, it's so unfair! Wife: Why? Husband: I forgot to close the tiger cage after work last night. But they don't want to think, who dares to steal a tiger!

16。

"Do you know why men like to have long hair like women nowadays?" "Because, if your lover or wife finds long hair on their clothes, he will smile and say,' This is my hair!' "

17。

You were internship in a mental hospital, and suddenly a psycho came after you with a kitchen knife. You turned around and ran until you reached a dead end, thinking it was over. The patient said, "This is your knife. It's your turn to chase me!" " "

18。

A player can't catch the ball steadily. While practicing passing and catching the ball, another player gave him a good ball. He was afraid of losing his grip, so he shouted "Hold on". As a result, the ball hit him on the head and he only heard him say, "With whom?"

19。

When you are lonely and empty, a pencil may be your best plaything. You can cut it, you can cut it, you can cut it with a small knife, and you can vent yourself and shout loudly, "I killed the pen, I killed the pen, I killed the pen!" " ! "

20。

The sky is so clear, the sun is so brilliant, and the sea is so boundless. You were standing on the blue beach, and I stabbed you with a stick: "Hey, this little bastard, his shell is quite hard! ! "