What are some unpopular jokes about engineers?

1. A famous writer's works will not be affected if they don't use many flowery words. If we don't use flowery words, it won't be vivid and the article will be boring. I won't explain. We're miserable.

2. The portrayal of most people in China now is that they don't know anything about law, diplomacy, politics and history, but they think they are awesome. Sometimes he is a politician on the internet, sometimes he will become a doctor, an engineer, a professor and a lawyer. However, in addition to what he has learned, he can also master his major. Only stand, no IQ, only opposition, no thought. ...

3. A male student in a kindergarten, during class, the teacher asked the students, do you know how much+equals? The male classmate whispered to his deskmate, you see, we certainly don't know questions that even the teacher doesn't know. Not a waste of time! Ha ha ha ha! His deskmate's face suddenly turned black?

4. Go out to travel with your girlfriends, and rest under the tree when you are tired. Suddenly, a few drops of bird droppings fell on my face, and before I knew it, my best friend wiped it evenly for me, saying, your sunscreen hasn't been wiped evenly yet. ......

I said to a girl I met online, "I stutter in front of the person I like." She replied, "You pretend to be B, just chatting on qq, and the keyboard will stutter?"

6. My colleague came to see me this morning and kept saying that I ate two tea eggs today. Wocao, didn't you show that you are here to show off your wealth? I replied, I have 8 million.

7. I just picked up a drift bottle on WeChat, watched the audio for a second, put the phone to my ear after I clicked it on, and there was a gentle and short fart ... What puzzled me was that I listened to it three times in a row, three times and again. ...

One day, because the chef in the kitchen put too much soy sauce in the braised potatoes, it looked particularly dark. A buddy came to cook for a long time, and the chef said, "Hey, what's the fuss?" Haven't you seen African potatoes? "

9. What is the saddest sentence for a fat man to meet another fat man? Answer buddy, where did you buy this dress and it fits you so well?

10. Zhu Bajie will be expelled from heaven for molesting Chang 'e after drinking. He said, "Bodhisattva! It is absolutely an anecdote, not news, to say that I molested Chang 'e. The news reports are true, and the anecdotes are entertaining and incredible! To say the least, I flirt with Chang 'e to help others! Chang 'e is a single lady in the palace, quite lonely. She lived for a year, so we can flirt. To say the least, I molested Chang 'e and didn't cause any loss. There is not a piece of meat missing from her! I didn't touch her hair, not drunk driving seriously. " The Bodhisattva said, "You broke the rules and will be punished." Pig Pig said, "As long as Chang 'e gets back at me, she can flirt with me. "

165438+ The spider hummed and knocked on the mosquito. "Well, you can't see it when I surf the Internet!" "

12. In the cold winter, a group of stray dogs stood outside the public toilet and looked at the door of the toilet eagerly, but the ferocious administrator stood by the door and wouldn't let them in. With eager eyes, stray dogs died one after another, and the last stray dog will die. He looked at the bones of his compatriots beside his eyes and muttered to himself in the direction of the public toilet: "The wine and meat in Zhumen stink, and the road has frozen bones ..."

13. The duck and the hen are married, but the life after marriage is not happy, because the hen is too suspicious and jealous, and she is obsessed with small things all day. The duck thought hard for a long time and decided to divorce the hen. After listening to the duck's reasons for divorce, the hen slapped her in the past. "As a chicken, you still don't let me be petty!"

14. reading a car magazine with a colleague, he pointed to one and said it was expensive. I asked him how expensive it could be, and he thought about it and said, if you go out in this car and no girls jump in, you will doubt your appearance. ...

15. Chat in the group to discuss the car problem. A buddy said that his view of a good car is that you drove out and hit four cars in a row, and your car has nothing to do with it, that's a good car. Someone downstairs replied that it was a bulldozer. I laughed ... someone added, "Consider a bumper and tie a Nokia." I smoked. ...

16. Take a World Cup and you can embroider a star on your jersey. In today's world, only two national teams are qualified to embroider five stars. One of them is Brazil, a five-time World Cup champion, and the other is China.

17. I bought some crabs to eat recently, and then I ran away for no reason. Then lz heard someone scratching the window while watching horror comics at night. On the sixth floor of lz's house, I'm watching Junji Ito. I was scared to death decisively, and then mobilized the whole family to be courageous. Finally, I found a crab crawling on the curtain, grasping the wall bored. There was a distance from the kitchen to my bedroom. I climbed the curtain and scraped the wall, which scared me out of my wits. ...

18. There is a kind of person who will only be called handsome or beautiful when shopping in ta's life. ...

19. One to two said, "Do you know why you say unique? Because you are too' two'. " The second answer is: "You are in the third year of high school. What are you arguing about?" ? Fighting is really' two'. "Among the four tips for preventing gynecological diseases hanging on the hospital wall, the second one is to cut your nails frequently!

20. "I hope to appear at your dinner table in a few years." "Braised pig head?"

Appreciation of cold jokes

1. The greatest advantage of all traditional festivals in China is that many things can be "discussed after the festival". ...

Sometimes, when a person has an affair, people will spread quickly. For example, Li Nima was drunk yesterday. Later, after non-cyclic transmission, it became. Li Nima met a girl yesterday and accosted her. After she failed, she got drunk and killed someone!

The terrain is a basin, the air is fresh, the greening is good, the sky is blue, and sun protection is needed. Lamian Noodles is everywhere, the market is chaotic, and the canteen can't be eaten. And some beautiful women just ignore you. Professional unpopular, but very hard. You can't learn geography, and you will die sooner or later. The cost performance is very high, and those who dare to come are good.

At that time, we ate stinky tofu in a street stall. Zhu and Feifei are a string. Ah Zhu kept boasting that "stinky tofu stinks, and it smells delicious when eaten!" Delicious! " Feifei curled her lips and took a bite, saying, "It really stinks, but it tastes worse!" "

5. Wechat lost several bottles, and I collected the contents. I'm Xiao Gan's son, I'm an aunt, and I feel good. Received a reply from a great god, Bajie. I am a master. ...

6. Follow those who want to seduce. They went to buy clothes. What kind of pants do you like? I like the one with chrysanthemums on his ass.

7. If someone plays with you, you will play enthusiastically; No one to accompany me, I am tall; Enjoy the cat food as much as you can, and swim around for food without it. Can be happy and be good at loneliness; Nine lives, super tough.

8. One day on a crowded bus, a conversation went like this: A standing pregnant woman said to a man sitting next to him, "Don't you know I'm pregnant? I saw that man was very nervous and said, "The child is not mine;

9. Lao Wang said that his ultimate goal in this life is to buy things regardless of the price. After ten years of unremitting efforts, he finally realized that he was blind.

10. I bought a water cup for my child from the Internet. I get up early and take it to school. I found a leak in the mouth of the cup. I twisted it hard, and the child happily took it to school. When I came back from school, I saw that the child didn't drink water. The child yelled at me, you pushed too hard, and the biggest strength in our class has not been unscrewed.

1 1. Once our math teacher suddenly wanted us to tell the story of mending the hole, and then an idiot told us to mend the hole, and then he mended the hole. Maybe the math teacher thinks she is not specific enough and asks how to make up for it. Idiot said yes. Well, use Pythagorean theorem. Later, our whole class laughed. We all laughed at her after class. If your pigsty is broken, you can make up for it with Pythagorean theorem.

12. Today, on my way to school, I suddenly found a bird with a broken wing on the ground. I suddenly feel very sad. I won't let the bird feel bad all the time, so I will bury it alive decisively.

13. When I was in junior high school, our classroom was on the fifth floor. I am a very honest person. At that time, there was a nice person in the class (the boss of the class) who always bullied me and asked me to go downstairs and fetch him water to drink. Finally, one day I broke out and gave him some urine or saliva when I was fetching water. From that day on, I took the initiative to fetch water for him every time. . . .

14. The Jade Emperor invited several experts from China to visit Heaven and asked the Monkey King to perform magic tricks for them. The expert changes whatever he wants to see. Tiger, lion, leopard and Long Yiyi appeared, and several experts applauded. Wow, awesome! As soon as the voice fell, the experts blew hard.

15. Mu told me that the tree next to you is an ancient tree, which is protected by the state.

16. Mu said to Shan: When did you get stabbed three times? People nowadays pay too little attention to protecting our trees.

17. Mu said to the tree, we planted it that day. How did your tree bear fruit? The fish said to the water, it is my greatest regret that I can't go out and see the outside world all my life. Water said that I would never get rid of this idea, which was my biggest failure.

18. Mu said to Zhi, I said how come I haven't seen you, so you were cut down to build a church!

19. I seldom eat instant noodles when I was a child, but I can only eat them once in a long time. I feel delicious every time I eat it, and I want to eat it every day when I grow up. As a result ... now the wish has come true!

20. A toad doesn't want to eat his latest tea and doesn't even catch mosquitoes. Other toads want to know what's going on. The oldest toad said, "Catch a swan and keep it safe. Because the toad wants to eat swan meat. "

A collection of jokes about cold jokes

1. Once my five-year-old son asked me what I had in my hand. I said it was a cell phone. He said why it's called a cell phone. I was busy at that time and casually sang "a chicken in my left hand and a duck in my right hand." The son showed a more puzzled expression. "Then why not call it a hand duck?"

My friend and I came to a fork in the road, and we said goodbye with a song "I'll send you away, thousands of miles away". As a result, "thousands of miles away" went away.

My bitch gave birth to two puppies. Because my wife is a reporter, we nicknamed them "paparazzi". Once we were about to kiss, I suddenly saw the "paparazzi" shouting "paparazzi!" The wife was startled and said, "Where is it? It's impossible. I sent them back. "

4. North Korea says that the American people are living in dire straits. On the front page of a North Korean newspaper, a photo of an American sunbathing on the beach was published. The caption said that Americans were poor, had no clothes to wear and did not have enough to eat. Everyone starved to death and nobody cared. ......

5. One MM was lovelorn, and several attempts to commit suicide were discovered by relatives and friends in time, which failed to come true. One day, while relatives and friends were unprepared, anxious relatives and friends looked around. Just when they decided to call the police, they received her message. You don't have to call me. I'm on my way to the Dead Sea. I like the sea. I decided to end my life there.

6. Sister Chang 'e was eating when suddenly there was a flash outside. Chang 'e was surprised and went out to watch. Come back and breathe a sigh of relief; "Yang Liwei. . "

7. A Ju and Feifei are both hard of hearing. Feifei saw Aju go out that day; "Ju, are you going for a walk?" "No, I'm going for a walk!" "Oh. . I thought you went for a walk. "

8. A Ju and Feifei agreed to take the stairs to their home on the first floor. In the building, O chrysanthemum asked Feifei; Feifei, are you tired? Feifei shook her head and they walked on. Arriving at the building, Aju asked Feifei, "Feifei, are you tired?" Feifei shook her head and they walked on. Arriving at the building, Aju asked Feifei, "Feifei, are you tired?" Feifei nodded hard. Ah Ju "Well, let's walk back and take the elevator home."

9. A Ju wants to take the exam. Mother asked Aju if he had finished reading the book. Ah Zhu said, "I'm finished." The next day, my mother flew into a rage when she saw Zhu's failed paper. "How come I finished reading all the books and did so badly in the exam!" "Oh, giant" Mom, what I said the other day was. . . I finished reading it. "

10. An elephant was taking a bath in the swimming pool when suddenly an ant came in from the outside. The ant said to the elephant, Hey! You come out for a while, the elephant comes out, and the ant says you go back. The elephant got angry and said you were playing me, right? The ant said no, my underwear is missing. I want to see if you're wearing it.