Blessing funny SMS collection

1. A supermarket received a packet of candy returned by a customer with a note saying, "As food, it contains too much sand. Building a house is not enough and there is not enough sand. "

2, recently found a good way to vent and decompress. That is to go to the toilet. After going to the toilet, he looked ferocious and said to the toilet, "You shit for me!" " "Then flush the toilet!

My daughter refused to sleep at night, so she was scolded by her father and shed a lot of tears. When she went to bed, she whispered to me, "Mom, shall we sell dad and buy a better one?"

Time is like a pencil sharpener. We are all pens. Some people roll around and their pens are broken; Some people have sharp heads; Some people have beautiful lace. It doesn't matter. Importantly, the pen with the highest social status is 2B, and only they can do multiple-choice questions.

5. If a man and a woman say "I want to go to the bathroom" when they want to defecate together, they have just started to fall in love; Say "I go to the toilet" and they fall in love; Say "I want to shit" and they live together; Say "I'm going to take a shit" and they get married. . .

6. In the morning, Tang Priest woke up and saw Wukong suddenly die on the ground. Pig and Friar Sand sobbed and asked, "How did Wukong die!" Pig cried, "Master, you talked in your sleep last night and recited spells all night ..."

7. There are grades that fall in love too late and get married too early; Spend money. No, it's too difficult to make money. Not interested in playing, not graduating from work; Too young to be with the post-80s and too old to be with the post-90s ... Is that you?

8. A man went to the hospital to see a doctor. The doctor told him to lie down, put his hand on his abdomen and asked him, "How do you feel?" I feel someone pressing my stomach. . .

9. Summer men, nine shirts, eight squares, eight squares, seven meters seven, seven meters seven six black frames, six black frames, wuhuang Mao, four strong yellow hairs, four strong three wretched, three wretched two companions, one of whom must be a black silk girl taller than him! ! !

10. A man works in Shanghai and looks very dignified. However, his blind date failed more than ten times. He was so distressed that he consulted an expert. Experts ask: What are the questions they ask you the most? He replied: How much is the monthly income? The expert asked: What's your answer? He replied: 10000. The expert pondered and said, well, the next time I ask you how much your monthly income is, you can answer five figures. Two weeks later, a man called Gao Ren: Please come to Shanghai for our wedding next week.

1 1. If the devil wants to be a woman, he must first starve his body skin, hungry his body skin, hungry his body skin, hungry his body skin, hungry his body skin, hungry his body skin. ...

12, I didn't lose weight in April, I was sad in May, I was a passerby in June, I lost my boyfriend in July, I got a tan in August, I stayed indoors in September, I gained weight in October, I was tired in November, I was unaccompanied in December, I didn't have measurements in January, I gained weight in February, and everyone didn't recognize me in March.

13, the Year of the Monkey is coming, and laughter is floating in the wind. A happy life can't run away, and every day goes smoothly. Family happiness, career promotion, good health and carefree. I wish you good luck in the Year of the Monkey, singing and laughing and flying to the sky!

14, jade monkey sings, silver monkey dances, dances. Sing auspicious photos of the Year of the Monkey and jump out with a happy smile. I wish you a fat baby in the Year of the Monkey and a happy family of three. I wish you a happy life and a happy New Year.

15, touching the monkey's back, double happiness; Smoothing the monkey's beard and longevity; Touch the monkey horn, good luck is boundless; Learn to play with monkeys and be in a good mood; Pat the monkey head, good luck; It's sincere to send a monkey blessing. Good luck and pride in the Year of the Monkey!

16, the Year of the Monkey is so auspicious that life is full of smiles. There are many happy events in the gate, and the cows and monkeys are strong in groups. May you live a long and healthy life, full of children and grandchildren and prosperous family business. Just like living in a golden house, you can live brilliantly and earn foreign money.

17, Happy New Year to you! A worship of heaven and earth, the mysterious yellow of heaven and earth, unchanged from ancient times; Second, worship the god of wealth, strive for gold every day, and make great achievements; Worship Fuxing three times, plow Beidou, and happiness falls from the sky; Four visits to the whole family, family reunion, longevity and well-being

18, the breeze is blowing, the spring is warm in March, the grass grows in the south of the Yangtze River, the water heating in the north of the Yangtze River, the plum fragrance outside the ridge, and the flowers are bright. It's time to go for an outing and find incense. Actually, what I want to say is ... when will you invite me to dinner?

19, I wish you a new year: financial resources are rolling like a fat pig; Great body, as strong as a bear; Love is as sweet as a bee; Money is rolling in, a dime a dozen!

20. The past is black, white and white. There's a secret I've been hiding. I decided to bide my time and take action. Finally, it's time for the New Year. I want to tell you the secret in my heart: Brother, we are poor!

2 1. On the first day of the Lunar New Year, every family celebrates the New Year. I wish you open the door to see the good news, make money face to face, go out to see the nobles, listen to the good news at home, and finally bring a red envelope!

22, the weather slowly turned bad, and the cool wind gradually attacked; Because of your cuteness, I especially care about you; Cover the quilt at night to avoid cold hands and feet; There is nothing to worry about, you can supplement calcium; Don't say I'm too bad, I wish you a happy new year!

23. I wish you a new year: your career is in full swing, your health is like a tiger, your money is countless, your work is not hard, your leisure is like a mouse, your romance is like joy, and happiness belongs to you.

24. I hope this is the first blessing you received, and it is harmonious in front of me. Let me grab a sofa and sit down; Keep sensational words in your heart and keep a low profile; What I sent was not a short message, but a blessing; Spring Festival needs happiness, you know.

25. Spring Festival is coming, set off firecrackers: auspicious photos; Two sad rings; Three-ring troubles disappear; Four wealth rings have arrived; High income in the Fifth Ring Road; Liuhuan is in good health; The seventh ring is in an excellent mood; Eight-ring safety cover; Nine rings around happiness; Ten ring's career is on the rise!

26. When the New Year comes, I will write the stamps of health, happiness, good luck, peace, auspiciousness and easy operation, which are really quite postmarked. Happiness is an envelope, and then I will put it in a sweet mailbox to wish a happy Spring Festival.

27. Everything is for the sake of family reunion, and grievances are always feelings. I don't like success or failure, but I like myself. Rich and stingy, you will still be poor. If you gain time, you will know when you lose happiness. If the sky is sentimental, it will be old and people will be happy without me!

28, this information thief is good: the people who receive it are as beautiful as flowers and pure as jade, the people who watch it work smoothly, the people who save it are the best, the people who forward it are easy to get promoted, the people who reply are sweet and sweet, and they still pick up RMB every day after deleting it. Happy spring festival!

29. I wish you a happy Spring Festival before the snow falls, firecrackers sound, the banquet begins, the God of Wealth arrives and the red envelopes are ready! Good luck, the golden mouse will accompany you every year, and it will be sweeter every year!

30. Sincere wishes for the warmth of instant-boiled mutton, the enthusiasm of boiled fish, the delicacy of boiled shrimp, the sweetness of old meat, the width of noodles and the width of bread. Happy New Year!

3 1, the earth is round, sugar cane is sweet, and my short message cost a dime. I wish you a happy Spring Festival. No kidding, my intention is true, and forwarding is very effective. This is definitely scientifically proven and recommended by experts!

32. Love and hate for one year, fate; One for you and one for me. Thank you. Live a beautiful day by day, philosophy; Take two steps and nearly two steps, happy! God, earth, please wish you a happy Spring Festival and a happy family for me!

33. Send you three during the Spring Festival, with food, drink and friends; I also want to send you three noes, no illness, no pain, no trouble; Then send you three feelings, affection, love and friendship; Finally, I will give you three joys. You can play with me and everyone can play with you.

34. The monkey is looking forward to it. Send a blessing first. Pulse monkey's hoof, the future is boundless; Little monkey head, long life; It's good luck to shrug the monkey's horn; Swing the monkey's tail and be happy forever; Open the monkey's mouth and live a long and healthy life. I wish all the best in the Year of the Monkey!

35, Chinese New Year, Chinese New Year, text messages flying all over the sky, three-point greetings, seven-point New Year greetings: congratulations on making a fortune and good health; Successful career, everything as you wish; Life is sweet, don't worry about food and clothing; You occupy all the beautiful things in the world. It's amazing! It's amazing!

36. May you face the sea with your heart every day, sleep like a pig, bask in the sun in South Africa, spend money with Gates, get drunk with Bush's daughter, and evade taxes with bin Laden. Happy New Year!

37. Don't call me heartless. Anyway, I also use a dime to send text messages, wasting battery power and risking my life to be radiated by electromagnetic waves. So I will pay a New Year call to you regardless of the consequences! Happy new year!

38. Send four dishes and one soup on New Year's Eve: happy braising, steaming friendship, frying wealth, cooking healthy, happy soup every day, a bottle of Lanling old good luck wine and a bowl of worry-free rice forever. Happy new year.

39. Hit, hit, hit, hit ... Rob. IPICIQ card, tell me all the passwords! What? You have no IQ? Then give me the red envelope! Be serious, be serious, don't laugh, happy new year!

40. Winter is coming, beware of colds and whistling winds, put on clothes and hats, mobile phones ring, blessings come, no worries, happy hugs, New Year's Eve, bid farewell to the old and welcome the new!

4 1, the Year of the Monkey is approaching, and the Spring Festival wishes come early. I wish you a good relationship and a smooth career. I wish you love, love is sweet, and your heart is sweet; I wish you a source of income, and you can't spend all your money. Finally, I wish you all good luck in the Year of the Monkey!

42. The firecrackers in the Year of the Monkey sent away the galloping horses, and they cheered. The blessing of monkeys brings good luck and happiness, singing and dancing. Monkeys go hand in hand. Good luck keeps them healthy and worry-free for many years. I wish you a happy Year of the Monkey and a happy life!

43. Discover the beauty of the Year of the Monkey with a pair of bright eyes, create the wealth of the Year of the Monkey with a pair of hardworking hands, greet the happiness of the Year of the Monkey with a tolerant heart, and warm the scenery of the Year of the Monkey with a brilliant dream. Happy Year of the Monkey!

44. The Year of the Monkey is a beautiful scenery in the cycle of years, full of brilliance; The Year of the Monkey is a happy melody in the changing seasons, floating happily; The Year of the Monkey is a warm life memory, full of blessings. I wish you all the best in the Year of the Monkey!

45. Cheer for your dreams and make the Year of the Monkey radiant; Cheer for happiness and make the Year of the Monkey full of joy; Waiting for happiness, keeping the Year of the Monkey warm; Bless your friends and make the Year of the Monkey prosperous. The Year of the Monkey has arrived. May your life be bright and beautiful.

46. The mighty male monkey held his head high and strode bravely forward. Bring blessings to the world. Congratulations on opening the door and collecting money from the "monkey". Lucky monkey licks away your melancholy and enjoys happiness, health and happiness. May you have no troubles in the Year of the Monkey and fruitful career love!

47. Knock on the door of auspicious monkeys and sing the true feelings of the New Year. I danced the dance of the times and the beauty of the monkey. I wish you good fortune, smooth work and high salary in the Year of the Monkey. Get all the promotion bonuses. Life is sweeter than secrets.

48. In the new year, I came to baa, and I heard the sound of good luck. Singing is full of flowers, and tap dancing is full of happiness. Good health, prosperous career, lead the monkey head into the home. Touch the monkey's tail to sweep away troubles and stroke the monkey's hair. Happy Year of the Monkey!

49. The spring rain of the Year of the Monkey is full of hope, the dream of the Year of the Monkey is shining, the candy of the Year of the Monkey is wrapped in auspiciousness, the affection of the Year of the Monkey is particularly long, and the blessings of the Year of the Monkey are particularly fragrant. May everything go well in your life!

50. The songs of the Year of the Monkey are full of the joy of reunion, the candlelight of the Year of the Monkey flashes with happy wishes, the roads of the Year of the Monkey are full of wealth, and the lanterns of the Year of the Monkey shine with thousands of auspicious elves. The Year of the Monkey has arrived. May you have good luck all the year round!

5 1, life is like a monkey, work is like a monkey suffering, career is like a monkey, and love is like a monkey lingering. Being a monkey is proud, the family is lucky, the mood is radiant, and a healthy monkey is proud. May friends celebrate the Year of the Monkey, drink foreign wine, and open up the sun!

52. The Year of the Monkey is good, the Year of the Monkey is wonderful, and the songs of the Year of the Monkey are floating all over the sky; The year of the monkey is rotten, the year of the monkey is warm, and the year of the monkey is endless; The Year of the Monkey is prosperous, fragrant and blessed. May all your wishes come true and everything go well in the Year of the Monkey!

53. The Spring Festival is coming. It's hard to send my blessing these years. Happiness has been packaged, and grandstanding has long been driven away. I don't know who turned me out when everything went well, but my blessing has been sent. Happy spring festival!

I wish you a relaxed economy, successful career, sweet and stable feelings, harmonious and lively family, happy and wonderful life and happy days in the new year. I sincerely wish you and your family good luck and a happy new year!

55. When the New Year came, I made a wish. I wish you: it's cold, someone comes to send warm, not afraid of the cold; When you are hungry, some people don't worry about delivering meals; When in trouble, someone lends a helping hand; When you are lonely, someone is with you. May you be happy every day!

56. The Spring Festival is approaching. Let's feel the true feelings together, melt the ice and snow with love, and warm each other with blessings. There are no flowery words, only sincere wishes. I wish my friends a happy Spring Festival!

57. I wish the motherland prosperity, and the five mountains will float with Pfizer. I wish my parents health and safety, all the best and little trouble. I wish my relatives and friends happy events and all their wishes come true. I hope the world will be more peaceful, with good weather and all the best.

58. Golden monkeys go, silver monkeys arrive, and friends say hello to you; Mobile phone chat, flying letter and flying newspaper, conveying feelings is the most important; Watch fireworks, set off salutes, and take my family to Hong Kong and Macao. Seeing the mountains and rivers and enjoying the winter scenery, it is fun at the beginning of the new year. Happy new year!

On the occasion of the Spring Festival, I wish you good health, smooth work, happy life and happy family! May you have less troubles in the days to come until you disappear and be happy forever!

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