My husband didn’t send me a caring text message from the beginning of the quarrel until we found the Municipal Women’s Federation and told him that I finally agreed to divorce him and wanted to divorc

My husband didn’t send me a caring text message from the beginning of the quarrel until we found the Municipal Women’s Federation and told him that I finally agreed to divorce him and wanted to divorce him, hoping that he would sincerely talk to me about a divorce agreement. My husband said that the final reason for divorce was that my mother said: "Your father should apologize to us." He felt that our family had climbed on top of theirs, which made me dumbfounded. In fact, his previous girlfriend of two and a half years ended up breaking up after she yelled at his parents during another argument. How will I go after I am only 25 years old?

Jinyuan’s point of view

I am already arguing for divorce just three months into my pregnancy. Why is the marriage of an only child so "unbearable"? It's okay for the couple to quarrel, but they want to let the whole world know. Just because they have been wronged, or do they want to make amends? Your parents get involved and "persuade" your son-in-law to "be obedient". You go to the leader of his work unit, the trade union cadres, and finally the Municipal Women's Federation of your natal family. And he is not to be outdone. What he says and does is absolutely consistent with his parents. For example, my girlfriend I had been dating for two and a half years broke up due to "parents' orders", and now my marriage is being dissolved according to my parents' "instructions", lest the world not be in chaos, haha.

A careful analysis of this marriage shows that both of you are deeply loved by your parents. Your own solution to marital problems is to seek help from outside, while your husband is an out-and-out It would be strange if there were no problems with the "milk husband".

The so-called "milk husband" means that although this type of man has all the hardware of a five-foot man physically, his psychological level still stays in the "embrace" of his mother and refuses to grow up. Patterns and behaviors are "influenced" by their parents, but they themselves are not aware of it. Looking around us, "milk husbands" are not uncommon and generally have the following characteristics:

1. Most of them come from only-child families or are the only child in the family. Although they have successfully completed college and joined the workforce, they have always been unable to do without their parents' parasol. Adults have to worry about what kind of school you go to; parents take care of where you work. You don’t need to worry about almost every detail. From childhood to adulthood, you have been cared for and controlled by your parents, especially your mother.

2. Not good at taking care of other people’s emotions and feelings, and not knowing how to feel sorry for others. Most of my daily behaviors are to satisfy my own interests and hobbies, call friends to play together, and compete to pay for the bills. Money is not a problem, and I have strong backing from my parents. When I get home, I dive into my study, play games online, fight Landlords, wait for my mother to bring out the food from the kitchen, and shout: "Eat!" If you are with your girlfriend or wife, you don't know how to be considerate of women. Eat as much as you want without suffering any pain.

3. Lack of independent thinking ability, mother has the final say in everything. If you get married, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will also be very tense. Since the son has no independent opinion when it comes to problems, he can't make up his mind and relies on his mother for everything, which will definitely affect the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Since childhood, his mother has always told him that only her mother is the one who truly loves him. The relationship between such a person and her mother is a severe mother-child entanglement type. Mi Niuqing, a master of marriage and family therapy, once summarized several types of mother-child relationships that are too close, the most common of which is the "mother-child entangled type." If the mother's eyes and thoughts are too "focused" on her son, she will unknowingly make her son feel dependent. The mother will not be able to let go of her son, and the son will not be able to live without his mother. Although the son is sometimes depressed and troubled, complaining that his mother takes too much care, once he encounters a marital problem, he will immediately talk to his mother and is used to his mother's "advice."

4. Being timid and afraid of taking responsibility. Maternal love is great, but excessive maternal love is not a good thing for sons. As time goes by, the son's thinking ability gradually deteriorates. Things that could have been solved by himself, but since the mother has to worry about it, why not do it to save trouble. The same is true in married life. I don't want to face it and don't dare to take responsibility. He seems to be well-behaved and obedient. As long as his mother loads the "bullets", he will fire them out accurately, shooting at his wife randomly. It doesn't matter what his wife's reaction is, whether she feels comfortable or not. There is a little voice in his heart telling him very loudly, "Mom is doing everything for my own good."

I remember that I was a guest on an emotional program on a TV station. The program told the story of a man whose wife ran away not long after he got married. When he was in his 50s, he was still naked and waiting for his seventy-year-old mother to get food every day. . If you go to work in the fields, you feel tired; if you go to work, you feel you have less money and lack of freedom. In the end, I simply returned home and lived off my old mother’s few acres of thin farmland. The only thing I did every day was watch TV. I saw that this person's eyes were dull, his speech was slow, and he had almost lost his social skills. He was a typical old man. Although this is a special case, how many mothers in life play the role of "feeling sorry for" their children, "reluctant to part with" their children and "working hard without complaining"?

As for you, it is better to be sad now than to be sad in the future! Let's take a look at the relationship between their mother and son: Example 1, "As long as I live at home from that day on, my mother-in-law will also live at home. She is afraid that my husband will not be able to think about it." Example 2, "Her mother always says that my husband and I are incompatible with each other." Example 3, "His mother called on Thursday night and told him to go home on Friday. On Friday night, I discussed with him how to live in the future. He was very He said forcefully that he would never let me do anything in the future, and he would never let me do it." It can be seen that if his mother does not change her "worrying", her son will always be a useless "nursing husband". Such a "nursing husband" should be avoided as soon as possible. Giving it back to his mother is the best option.