Farewell to a relationship, we need to say goodbye properly

Farewell to a relationship is a lifelong practice.

The process of our growing up is the process of watching people come into our lives and leave one after another. Sometimes we are not even aware that some meetings are destined to be the last time we meet, some words are the last greetings, and some hugs have become the last remaining warmth in future memories.

If you were given another chance and let you know that this would be the last intersection between two people, would you say goodbye harder and say goodbye properly?

Dayao met Xiaoxiao who gave a speech in a sophomore elective class. As the first beautiful girl to give a speech, Xiaoxiao talked about her dream of taking the postgraduate entrance examination. She was praised by the teacher and successfully attracted He attracted a wave of fans in the audience, including Dayao.

From then on, Dayao regarded Xiaoxiao as the goddess in his heart and firmly remembered that she wanted to take the postgraduate entrance examination. Two years later, Dayao finally met Xiaoxiao again in the postgraduate entrance examination tutoring class. They took the same bus to and from get out of class, but Xiaoxiao never knew that one of her postgraduate entrance examination classmates had Dayao who had a crush on her for two years.

Finally one day, Dayao got off the car and stopped Xiaoxiao at the intersection waiting for the traffic light.

"Hello, classmate... I... I have had a crush on you for two years..." "Sorry, I'm too nervous..." Dayao suppressed his blush and even stuttered when he spoke.

"I...can I ask for your mobile phone number? We can just be ordinary friends", "You...can you give me the number? My hands are shaking..."

Xiaoxiao was happy. She had never seen such an interesting boy. She looked at the neat boy in front of her, who looked embarrassed and nervous. She didn't look like he was lying. She took his phone and saved her own. Phone number.

From then on, there was Dayao who came to Xiaoxiao to "make soy sauce" on her way to the postgraduate entrance examination. Dayao would give Xiaoxiao special medicines bought at the drugstore when she was uncomfortable, and would occasionally invite Xiaoxiao to have dinner with her. .

After getting along, Xiaoxiao felt that Dayao was very sincere, different from the boys who had chased her, and she found that after getting acquainted with him, Dayao changed from his usual shyness and nervousness, and was actually very talkative, and she was very talkative with him. Xiaoxiao is very comfortable and happy together.

Later, Xiaoxiao was admitted to the graduate school of the school, and Dayao also found a very good job after graduation, and they stayed in the same city.

After work, Dayao took the initiative to ask Xiaoxiao to watch a movie. Xiaoxiao agreed. The two of them had a great time on that date. After dinner, Dayao even picked a small gift for Xiaoxiao.

Xiaoxiao’s friends all think that Dayao is very reliable, and Xiaoxiao also thinks that the two of them are stable now and can try to fall in love.

But when Xiaoxiao was still immersed in the longing for love, Dayao suddenly disappeared and stopped contacting Xiaoxiao...

Xiaoxiao discovered that Dayao actually gave her WeChat After deleting it, except for an album cover, I can no longer see any content in Dayao’s circle of friends. Later, the album cover was changed to a photo of a strange girl.

Xiaoxiao was stunned and felt that she had been deceived.

Xiaoxiao thought about it for several days and still didn’t know why. Did she do something wrong?

The two of them had obviously enjoyed their last date, but Dayao just deleted himself without even saying hello. She didn’t believe that this was done by Dayao who was once so sincere. If he has a new love, he will kick him out of his world, and he will not even be qualified to be friends.

In psychology, the phenomenon of a person suddenly disappearing is called "ghostly breakup". This kind of breakup that suddenly disappears like a "ghost" will cause huge harm to the other party.

Although Xiaoxiao and Dayao are not lovers yet, they also experienced a period of time when they were taking the postgraduate entrance examination together and left some beautiful memories.

Xiaoxiao actually attaches great importance to her relationship with Dayao, but Dayao's departure without saying goodbye left a series of question marks in Xiaoxiao's heart, which was originally sunny and confident, and even made Xiaoxiao doubt whether she was worthy of being loved.

Lin Chiling once talked about the experience of being broken up in the past in the issue of "Qi Pa Shuo" "Should I say breakup in person?" She even choked up with tears when she talked about the sadness, "Because the boy didn't explain it clearly. If you break up under such circumstances, you will live in inexplicable fear and hurt for a long time. Whatever you do in life will be buried in a sea of ??bitterness and tears, and you will lose confidence in yourself."

No matter whether you want to break up in person or not, As long as we have loved each other seriously, we don't want to end hastily and without explanation.

Farewell requires a sense of ritual. Ritual is a line that helps you distinguish the past from the future.

The biggest hurt I ever suffered in a relationship was because my ex didn’t give me a chance to say goodbye properly.

Graduation season is filled with the atmosphere of farewell. When I learned that he was going to work in another distant city, I suddenly realized that I would probably never see him again. To disappear completely in my world.

And our breakup was just because of a text message. I really wanted to see him one last time and say goodbye calmly and friendly.

I mustered up the courage to dial that familiar number. He said he was on the train tonight. I said, "I'll see you off at the train station." He said, "I'm busy at the moment. I'll be late." I’ll call you again.”

I spent the whole afternoon waiting restlessly, and it was not until the evening that I received the call that he was already on the train. The call was polite and brief, and my tone became calm and cold.

But the moment I hung up the phone, all the grievances I had endured in this relationship came to me. I cried uncontrollably and painfully, and I could no longer stop the tears streaming down my face.

I feel that he owes me a solemn farewell, so that I can live my life with peace of mind in the future, and say goodbye without seeing each other again.

Later, this incident became an intractable knot in my mind. I was in pain and confusion for a long time before I truly said goodbye to the past and completely eliminated this person from my life.

The scene in "Exes 3" that made me cry the most is:

Many people don't understand why two people do this. I think only those who have truly loved each other and don't want to leave any regrets Talent wants to use the grandest ceremony to say his final farewell.

Just like Yu Wenwen sings in the lyrics, "Breaking up should be decent and no one should say sorry." A ritualistic breakup is the last dignity we leave to ourselves, and it is also the last thing we can do well for each other. One thing.

Qiu Wei's "Don't Lose, Don't Forget" is a novel that I read in one sitting. In this novel, the hero and heroine experienced four farewells in ten years.

Only when they separated for the fourth time, the two people experienced painful growth in this relationship and became peaceful and tolerant.

The last time they met, the hero You Lun was very worried about the health of the heroine Xiao Zhi. His love for Xiao Zhi had already exceeded that of himself, and why was Xiao Zhi not the same?

There is no need for too many words at all, just a glance is enough. No matter how you say it, the two of them are equally matched, which is enviable.

They finally understand that it is easy to get together, but it is the education to get together easily. We will always meet again after saying goodbye, even in heaven.

The feelings that have accumulated over the past ten years are the blessings and warmth whenever I think of each other. Because we couldn't bear to experience the pain of separation again and let this hard-won relationship be damaged even a little bit, we were silent to each other and let this relationship pass. Only in this way can we achieve eternal happiness.

For some people, it’s okay not to be together. What matters is how to say goodbye.

If the other party really disappears one day and owes you a serious explanation and a solemn farewell ceremony, what should we do?

Please wipe away your tears and continue to work hard with those old times that cannot be let go! Treat memories as a kind of strength, take big strides and don’t look back.

I hope that all unwillingness and regret will eventually be diluted by time. I hope that after experiencing the pain of growing up, we can all say goodbye seriously and calmly in our hearts to those youth and memories that we have not cherished.

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